California Wine (11 page)

“What do you want?” Elizabeth couldn’t stand the conversation a moment longer.

“My daughter will be going to high school that accepts girls like her. They have a place for the babies … afterwards. But she needs a job. Her dream is to be a cosmetologist.” Once again Serena’s eyes pleaded.

“And you want me … to … ” Elizabeth couldn’t complete the sentence. She stood and started pacing the room. The audacity of the woman! To try to foist her pregnant daughter off on Elizabeth.

“I thought you, of all people, would understand,” Serena said, rising. “I guess I was wrong.”

“Wait. Wait.” Elizabeth said, her mind a jumble of hurt, incredulousness and bewilderment. She did understand, but this was Joe’s child, a child she never knew about. How could Joe have done this to her?

“I can’t make this decision right now,” she finally said. “I need to talk to someone. Is there somewhere I can reach you?”

“
Si, si
.” Serena scribbled a phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to Elizabeth. “Thank you.”

“I haven’t said yes,” Elizabeth said.

“But you didn’t say no, either.”

Elizabeth didn’t sleep well.

She had sent an emergency email to her coach late the night before and tried to get in touch with Annie, but the coach hadn’t replied and Annie had been out. Elizabeth had left a brief message for her friend.

Nothing made sense. All she could do was function.

She dragged herself out of bed and did her best to erase the circles under her eyes. A cold shower and expensive eye cream did little to make a difference. Joe had betrayed her. And she was left to clean up the mess he’d made. All her life she wanted a second child and now it was too late. But he’d had another one. Damn him!

Her eyes filled with tears.

She took a deep breath to calm herself down. Time to pull it together and go to work. Maybe she should hire the girl. It would solve the problem she’d had since she’d fired Lara.

But how could she hire Joe’s daughter?

She was just finishing up her coffee when the phone rang. Annie.

“Oh, Elizabeth,” Annie said. “I’m so sorry.”

Elizabeth burst into the tears she’d been holding back all night.

“You want me to come over?”

“Mmm … shop … need to open.”

“Open late. I’ll pick up something and be right there.”

Annie was right. Elizabeth couldn’t face the public right now. She needed time to pull herself together and figure out what to do. She stared at her coffee cup. If her husband, the man who’d promised to love and honor her, had lied to her for three years, how could she believe in anything?

The phone rang again.

“Hi,” the coach said, “I had a few minutes and wanted to make sure you were okay. You received some pretty devastating news.”

“You can say that again.” Elizabeth sniffed.

“Have you talked to anyone?”

“Annie’s on her way.”

“Good,” the coach said. “Your message said that Joe had cheated on you. How did you find out?”

Elizabeth quickly told her about Serena and her request.

“That’s asking a lot,” Carol said.

“Yes. I … I’m not sure what to do.” Tears were threatening to overflow again as Elizabeth felt her heart wrench.

“What if this wasn’t Joe’s child?”

“I’d take her on in an instant. I like helping young people get a start, especially if they’ve had trouble. If I’d had someone to help me, maybe … maybe I would have made a different choice.” Elizabeth stared out the window, as if she was seeing the view for the first time. “I never realized how much pressure there was to marry Joe,” she added. “He must have felt the same thing. Maybe he didn’t want to marry me. Maybe he didn’t love me.” Her lower lip trembled.

“Mmmm,” was all Carol said.

Had Joe loved her? Or had he only tried to make the best out of a bad situation? They’d been happy in the beginning, hadn’t they? What changed?

“Maybe we were too young, too full of Catholic guilt. And my mother made me feel like … like … a … ” Elizabeth couldn’t even say the word.

“Lots of shame.”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth hung her head like a small child caught robbing the cookie jar.

The silence lingered.

“But this
is
Joe’s child,” Elizabeth finally said.

“Can you forgive her for being that?”

“I can’t forgive Joe. Or Serena. Not yet. Maybe never. I wanted another child so badly … and he … ” The sobs began again.

After Elizabeth became silent, the coach said, “I’m not asking you to forgive them right now. I’m asking you if you can forgive the child for being who she is.”

Could she? Elizabeth remembered how it had been when she was pregnant. Carol was right. Shame was everywhere. If someone had accepted her, mistakes and all, it might have made a difference.
Damn.

Could she have made it as a single mother? She thought she’d been in love with Joe. Would she have listened to anyone who told her there were other choices? Maybe. Statistically, odds said marriage between two teens was bound to fail. She’d always been proud they’d made it.

But apparently they hadn’t. The air went out of her. All their lives were a little sadder because Joe and Serena hadn’t been honest. But their daughter wasn’t to blame.

The child was the result of Joe’s infidelity, not the cause.

“There’s nothing for me to forgive,” Elizabeth finally said. “She didn’t ask to be born. She’s an innocent child who has some big problems.”

“Can you help her?”

“I don’t know.”

“What will make the difference?”

“I think I need to meet her,” Elizabeth said, taking a big gulp of air. That was going to take more strength than she thought she had.

“A good idea,” Carol said.

The doorbell rang as soon as Elizabeth hung up the phone.

Annie pushed it open and said, “It’s only me.” She was carrying a large white bag emitting sweet chocolate odors.

Grabbing Elizabeth in a big bear hug, she murmured, “I’m so sorry. What a thing to hear after all these years. You really didn’t need to know this about Joe.”

“But now I do,” Elizabeth said.

“Yes, now you do. And that definitely deserves chocolate croissants.” Annie waved the bag and walked into the kitchen.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust a man again,” Elizabeth said after they settled at the kitchen table with coffee and bakery treats.

“I understand,” Annie said. “But everyone isn’t Joe. You were too young and too buried under Catholic guilt. You’ve said that before. Sounds like Joe was unhappy and didn’t know how to deal with it honestly.”

“But to have a three year affair? And a child?”

Annie shrugged, “Too many people have affairs rather than confront problems in their marriage. Humans have been doing it for centuries.”

“I didn’t.”

“No, you’re one of the rare ones. Loyal as they come.”

Elizabeth leaned back in her chair and took a sip of coffee. She put her coffee back on the table and examined her hands. She needed a manicure badly. Definitely before Marcos came.

“Marcos. I can’t see Marcos. What if he turns out to be the same?”

“You’ll never know unless you take a chance.”

“That’s all life seems to be these days,” Elizabeth said. “Taking risks. Marcos, my product line, and now this Serena woman and her daughter.”

“What are you going to do about it?”

“I’m going to see the girl and then decide.”

Annie nodded. “Did you tell her mother?”

“Not yet.” Elizabeth stared at her friend. “Would you stay here while I make that phone call? In case I fall apart again?”

“Sure, honey.”

Elizabeth’s hands trembled as she picked up the phone and dialed the number Serena had given her. “Hello?” she said when the woman answered.

“Yes?” Serena asked.

“It’s Elizabeth. Can you bring your daughter … what is her name?”

“Alicia.”

“Alicia. Can you bring her to my store today at about five? I’d like to meet her.” Elizabeth fired off directions to Beauty by the Bay.

“Gracias.”

“I’m not guaranteeing anything,” Elizabeth said quickly. “I just want to meet her.”

“I understand. We we’ll be there.”

Elizabeth hung up the phone and took a deep breath. “Done.”

Annie stood up and gave her another hug. “You’re a brave woman, Elizabeth Ladina.”

• • •

By the time Elizabeth got to the store, it was after eleven. She straightened up and checked the appointment book for the afternoon. Now that school had opened, walk-ins had slowed down and she had too much time on her hands. Maybe she should close the shop a few days a week?

She shook the idea from her head. Starting to close a few days a week was an indication that a store was in trouble.

She stared at the numbers on the credit union application. Financing a loan would be tight, but it was doable, she knew it was. She tucked her hair behind her ears. What she needed was an outside opinion from someone she could trust financially.

Bobby.

He’d handled her finances for years before they started dating. But would he help her now that they were no longer together? Or would he see her questions as an excuse to start dating again.

Drumming her fingers on the table, she came to a decision. If she wanted to make her dream a reality, she was going to have to take some risks. She’d stand firm with Bobby. If she could handle a blowhard with a mini-van, she could handle Bobby.

No time like the present to make the call. The store was empty.

“Hi, Bobby,”

“Elizabeth!” Bobby’s warmth traveled over the line.

She wished for a moment that things could be like they used to be. “Bobby, I was wondering if I could pick your brain.”

“Absolutely!”

They set a time to meet at the Costanoa Coffee Roasting Company the following day. Elizabeth breathed a sigh of relief when she hung up the phone. Their conversation was light and cordial. Hopefully, it would stay that way.

The rest of the day continued to be slow. She debated the merits of hiring Alicia.

On the pro side, she’d have a replacement for Lara and she could go out with Marcos, which, of course, led to the question of what she was doing with him. She pushed Marcos from her head. She’d just have to deal with that later.

If she hired the girl, she’d be helping someone who needed help. Definitely a feel-good experience.

But what if Alicia looked like Joe? Elizabeth would be faced with the proof of Joe’s infidelity every day. Could she stand it?

Elizabeth was relieved when five o’clock came around. She’d just finished up her closing chores when Serena and her daughter knocked on the door. Elizabeth beckoned them to come in.

Alicia was a pretty girl, a slightly larger version of her mother with dark eyes, long eyelashes and smooth olive skin. Her full lips reminded Elizabeth of Joe. Alicia’s long brown hair was clean and styled for the cool fall weather.

But it was the hummingbird tattoo on her upper arm and the silver ring in her nose that gave Elizabeth pause.

“Let’s sit here,” Elizabeth said, indicating a table and set of chairs by the front window. She’d made a pot of chamomile tea and set out cups before the women had arrived. “Tea?” she asked.

Serena smiled tentatively and nodded. Alicia’s posture was defiantly proud. “Yes, please,” she said.

“Tell me about yourself,” Elizabeth said to Alicia after the tea was poured.

“I’m pregnant. And, no, I’m not getting married. I will get my diploma and then go to cosmetology school.”

Ah, the source of the defiance. Alicia must feel alone and scared. Elizabeth’s heart ached for her.

“Yes, your mother told me your were pregnant. I don’t know if she told you that I, too, was pregnant at your age.”

Alicia’s jaw dropped. “Really? You? Did you marry the boy?”

Elizabeth flicked a glance at Serena and then cleared her throat. “Yes. We were married for several years. He died suddenly about ten years ago. Our daughter, Sarah, is in college.”

“He died about the same time my father did. How strange,” Alicia remarked.

Elizabeth shifted in her chair. “Yes.” How was she going to be able to do this?

She didn’t like to reveal so much about herself to a stranger. But this wasn’t really a stranger. It was Joe’s daughter. A young woman in trouble. Just like she had been.

“Why do you want to be a cosmetologist?” Elizabeth asked.

Alicia’s face brightened. “I like to make women feel beautiful, pampered. I give my mother facials and she finally relaxes after she works so hard. It’s good to make her feel that way.”

Elizabeth’s heart warmed to the girl. Alicia saw what she did — women who were tired and showed it. Facials, massages, even a pretty scarf could lift a woman’s spirits and enhance her femininity.

“And what have you learned so far?”

Alicia told her about the few courses she’d taken. As she did so, Elizabeth’s mind began to whirl. Alicia could be a gateway into a new population of clients — younger, Latino clients. Women who definitely cared about how they looked.

But could she work with Joe’s child?

As Alicia went on, talking about her dreams for herself and her unborn child, Elizabeth realized she had to give her a chance. By hiring Alicia, she’d begin to walk the road to forgiving Joe and Serena.

“Okay,” she said when Alicia finally took a breath. “I’ll hire you on probation for three months. When can you start?”

“Gracias!” Alicia slipped into Spanish as her face lit up with a wide grin, a smile that lifted a weight from Elizabeth’s shoulders.

• • •

The next day an unexpected rain darkened Elizabeth’s spirits. She wrapped her raincoat around her as she walked from the car to the coffee shop to meet Bobby. Were her clothes business-like enough? After three tries, she’d finally settled on a pair of tailored beige slacks and a sunflower yellow turtleneck that didn’t draw too much notice to her breasts.

She hoped.

Bobby gave her an appreciative glance as she walked in the door.

So much for dressing for success.

He stood and pulled out her chair. “I got you a cafe latte. I hope you don’t mind me ordering for you.”