Read Captain Wentworth's Diary Online
Authors: Amanda Grange
Captain Wentworth's Diary (9 page)
‘You speak as though Harville was going to be burdened with command of the Navy, instead of being given the duties of a husband to one pretty woman,’ said Benwick.
‘At least I have my friends to defend me!’ said Harville.
But his peace was short lived. The rest of his family joined in and he was subjected to as many opinions on marriage as there were men in the room.
At last he cried, ‘Enough!’ and begged us all to talk of something else.
But as I retired for the night, I could not put his words from my mind.
Follow my example and marry, Wentworth.
Follow my example and marry, Wentworth.
At last, feeling restless and knowing I would be unable to sleep, I slipped out of the house. It was a beautiful night, with a balmy breeze, and I made my way by moonlight along the road. As I did so, I thought of how I had felt, a few months ago, when Harville had told me he intended to marry. I had been incredulous, thinking him a fool, for the world was full of pretty young women, and why should he want to swap the smiles of so many for the smiles of one?
But as I stood at the crossroads, I understood.
Wednesday 20 AugustHarville was up very early, and full of nerves. He found it impossible to tie his neck-cloth and I had to do it for him. Then he could not get into his coat, and Benwick and I had to assist him. He could not settle to anything, and although we tried to talk to him about his next ship, and his certainty of capturing more prizes as soon as he went back to sea, he did not listen to more than one word in ten.
It was far too early to go to the church, but he insisted we set out, with the result that we waited fifteen minutes at the altar. I thought he would wear his hands away with all the clasping and unclasping he did!
At last Harriet arrived, looking radiant in a satin gown. The service began, and as I watched Harville make his vows, I found that I no longer pitied him. I envied him.
As we emerged from the church, Harriet’s mother was crying, and Harville’s mother and sister were crying, but Harriet was beaming with joy.
We went back to Harriet’s house for the wedding-breakfast. After we had all eaten and drunk our fill, toasted the happy couple and made our speeches, the Harvilles set out on their wedding-tour.
Jenson, Benwick and I lingered on, enjoying the hospitality of Harville’s family. Benwick seemed very taken with Fanny, whilst Jenson talked to Harville’s parents and I spent the afternoon talking to Harville’s brother. We relived our battles and looked forward to the battles to come, hoping we might, at some time in the future, find ourselves on the same ship.
And then, at last, it was time for me to leave. I bade them all farewell, and thanked them for their kindness. They sent me off with their good wishes ringing in my ears, and I rode home at a steady pace. The weather remained fine, and I was treated to a magnificent sunset on the way. I reined in my horse and watched the spectacle, seeing the sky turn crimson before the sun sank below the horizon. Then I set off again, arriving shortly after dark. Edward was reading the newspaper, but as I entered the room he laid it aside and asked me how I had got on. I told him all my news and he asked me a number of questions about the service. I satisfied him as best I could, and he allowed it to have been well done.
Then he told me his own news, which was not so happy, for the curacy of Leigh Ings had been given elsewhere.
‘Never mind, there is still the living of Trewithing,’ I reminded him.
‘There is, and it would suit me better to have a living, rather than another curacy. I must hope for better luck there.’
‘Do you think it will fall to you?’ I asked.
‘Nothing is certain,’ he said, ‘but as I have friends in the neighbourhood, and as I do not think there is any particular interest in the living, I think it possible.’
‘It would be a very good thing if it did.’
‘Undoubtedly. I would have my own parish, a larger house, an increased stipend, and I would be better placed to hear of any other livings that might fall vacant.’
‘The church is not an easy profession for a man with no one to speak for him, unlike the Navy, where a man may prove his worth,’ I remarked.
‘But it is still not impossible to rise in the world,’ he said.
‘With Sophia well married, and I a commander, I would like to see you become a bishop,’ I said.
He only laughed, and said he did not have my ambition. Nevertheless, he expressed his intention of walking into town tomorrow in an effort to learn more.
We said our goodnights.
As I mounted the stairs, my thoughts returned to Harville, now married, and realized that a part of my life had changed. He and I had been as brothers, but now he had moved on to a new life, and I felt a restlessness inside me, a longing to move on to a new life of my own.
Thursday 21 AugustEdward walked into town this afternoon to learn all he could about the living at Trewithing. Whilst he was out, a note was delivered from Kellynch Hall, and I had to contain my impatience until he returned, for it was addressed to him.
‘Upon my soul!’ he exclaimed as he opened it. ‘We are invited to dine with Sir Walter Elliot at Kellynch Hall.’
‘There must be some mistake,’ I said.
‘See for yourself.’
He threw the note to me. Sure enough, it was an invitation.
‘I thought Sir Walter did not like me,’ I said in surprise.
‘My dear brother, not every invitation that arrives is a compliment to you. It is possible that he wishes to see me. If he has heard of my hopes—but no, he would be no more interested in the rector of a small parish than he is in the curate of an even smaller one. He is simply being neighbourly, that is all.’
‘Either that, or he needs to make up his numbers.’
‘You are not a very trusting man, Frederick.’
‘I have found it better to err on the side of caution when going into battle,’ I replied.
‘Sir Walter is surely no match for a man of your abilities,’ he mocked me.
No,
I thought,
but Lady Russell is.
I thought,
but Lady Russell is.
I could not help wondering if she was behind the invitation. Did she want to see me, so that she might have an opportunity of getting to know me, and of observing my behaviour towards Miss Anne at close quarters? Did she, perhaps, think that a commander might not be a bad husband for her favourite, after all? Or did she want an opportunity to warn me away?
Friday 29 August‘You seem to have dressed with unusual care,’ remarked Edward as I joined him in his sitting-room, prior to our setting out for Kellynch Hall.
‘Not at all. I am always carefully of my appearance,’ I said, adding, ‘as long as it does not involve wearing veils.’
The weather being fine, we decided to walk to Kellynch Hall. When we arrived, I had my first full sight of it, for although I had glimpsed it when walking by the river, I had never seen it from the front. As we walked up the drive, I thought it a very fine house, and said so to my brother.
‘Something similar would suit me when I have made my fortune,’ I said.
‘I do not doubt it, but you have to make your fortune first,’ he returned.
As we drew closer, I thought of Kellynch, not as a house, but as Miss Anne’s home. For her, every tree and every blade of grass was familiar, every brick and every stone. As I lifted my eyes to the attic, I thought of her as a child, looking out of the barred windows of the nursery on to the green lawns. I thought of her growing up there with a loving mother, and then losing her mother and going away to school, and then returning to the countryside she loved, the restful greens and browns of the park, with the blue sky above. I imagined her playing the piano in the drawing-room and looking out of the windows on to the same verdant expanse, or walking there through the changing seasons as the leaves turned from light green to dark green, and thence to orange and gold.
The drive was long, but at last we reached the house. We were admitted by a stately footman in splendid livery, and then shown into the drawing-room. It was large and well proportioned, with fine furniture and new curtains and rugs. Everything was of the first quality, and showed the refined tastes of Sir Walter and Miss Elliot. But there was something missing, for all its grandeur, and that thing was warmth.
Sir Walter and his eldest daughter turned superior glances on me, and Lady Russell looked at me as though I was a snake: something that would be safe if kept at a distance, but which could be poisonous if brought too close.
But a moment later I forgot Sir Walter, Miss Elliot and Lady Russell, as my eyes fell on Miss Anne. She smiled as she saw me, and the smile lit her face with a joy so bright it filled the room. She radiated happiness and good will. She came forward to greet me, and the two of us were immediately lost in conversation, only being recalled to our company when Lady Russell stepped forward to greet my brother and myself. Sir Walter and Miss Elliot did their duty and greeted us, too. Then Lady Russell began speaking to me, in an effort, I am sure, to separate me from Miss Anne.
‘We have been fortunate to have you with us in Somersetshire for so long,’ she said, in a way that made me feel she did not think it was fortunate at all. ‘You have more than one connection to the area, I believe? Your brother lives here,’ she said, glancing at him, ‘and I believe your brother-in-law is from the county as well?’
‘Yes, that is so.’
‘You have only the one sister?’ Sir Walter asked me, deigning to join in the conversation.
‘Yes.’
‘She has been married long?’ he continued.
‘For seven years.’
‘Quite some time. And what kind of man is her husband?’
‘He is captain of a frigate.’
‘Ah, a sailor,’ said Sir Walter, with an expression of distaste.
‘A naval officer, and a good one,’ I returned. ‘He has served his country for many years and has helped to keep our shores safe.’
‘Is he at sea now?’ asked Miss Anne, with genuine interest.
I softened at the sound of her voice.
‘He is.’
‘Your sister must miss him,’ she said. ‘It cannot be pleasant for a woman to be separated from the man she loves.’
‘No, indeed,’ I said, regarding her tenderly, for I felt her words were for me. ‘Nor for a man to be separated from the object of his affections.’
My brother cleared his throat noisily, then said in a jovial tone, ‘Fortunately neither of them has to endure the pangs of separation, as my sister sails with her husband.’
‘But how is that possible?’ asked Miss Anne in surprise, turning towards him. ‘I cannot imagine how she would survive, with only ship’s biscuits to eat, and a hammock to sleep in. She must be very brave.’
I laughed at her idea of life on board ship.
‘You may rest easy. She has a cabin to sleep in, and all the comforts any woman could want. She has good food to eat, and a servant to wait on her—’
‘A servant?’ she asked. ‘Surely such a thing is not possible?’
‘Of course it is. Naval officers are gentlemen’—here Sir Walter and Miss Elliot exchanged expressions of disbelief, but I ignored them—‘and they are used to living well. They expect no less when they are at sea.’
‘I am surprised there is room for a servant, for there are so many other calls on the space, but living on board must not be as cramped as I had imagined.’
‘On a frigate there is not very much space, I grant you, but my brother-in-law will not rest easy until he is in command of a man-of-war, and he will end up an admiral, I have no doubt. On a man-of-war, you know, there could not be better accommodations, or anything more spacious—’
‘—unless it is a fine house on land,’ said Lady Russell, entering the conversation with the air of one who has remained silent long enough. “That has far better accommodation than a ship, for it has spacious rooms, large gardens and ample servants’ quarters, everything to make life convenient and easy.’
‘But a house has not such views,’ I said.
‘The prospects at Kellynch Hall are very fine,’ said Sir Walter, not to be outdone.
‘But they cannot compete with the ever-changing views at sea, or the splendours of Lisbon, Gibraltar or the Indies,’ I returned.
‘As to that, these foreign places are overrated. They are nothing compared to London or Bath,’ said Sir Walter.
I saw Anne’s expression change, and I asked, ‘You do not like Bath?’
‘No, I must confess I do not.’
‘Only a fool would not like Bath,’ said Miss Elliot.
Anne flushed, but I encouraged her to speak, saying, ‘But it is an interesting place, is it not?’
‘Perhaps. But I did not like it. I found it hard and glaring, unlike the countryside, with its colourful softness.’
She evidently did not want to talk of it, so I turned the conversation back to the sights to be seen from a ship, and Anne listened with rapt attention. My eyes were on her, so that I scarcely noticed Lady Russell, Sir Walter and Miss Elliot watching us disapprovingly, until my brother caught my eye.
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