Christie Kelley (19 page)

“I daresay with that shot I may have to dance with you.”

He smiled at her. “You shall at that. Twice if I have my way. And I always get my way.”

Avis slipped into the Kesgrave study, sank into a chair by the fireplace, and sighed. Finally, she had some solitude. She hadn’t wanted to go to her bedroom because her chatty maid would be waiting for her and the other rooms in the house were still active with gaming and other amusements. But she just couldn’t take another moment being around people. At this point, facing her motion sickness in order to escape everyone held a certain appeal.

She glanced up at the clock—nearly midnight. The gaming would end soon and then everyone should be off to bed. Once the house quieted, she would make her way upstairs. Perhaps by then Bridget would be too tired to make conversation as she helped her undress.

She picked up a book on the table and just made out that it was a poetry volume. The light from the two candles burning on the desk didn’t illuminate the room enough for her to read. She placed the book back on the table and relaxed deeper into her seat.

With nothing else to do, her mind reverted to her conversation with Emory. It seemed odd that after three years of close friendship, he suddenly appeared to want more from her. Emory was a good friend but she felt no attraction to him in a physical manner. Perhaps before Banning she might have been able to feel some attraction for Emory. But now, she knew what desire was and she felt none toward him.

How was it that she had reached the age of twenty-six without attracting a man only to suddenly have two men after her? Very odd, indeed.

The door flew open and she covered her mouth to suppress her sound of alarm. Hopefully the darkness of the room would keep her place secret.

“What exactly am I supposed to do?” Banning asked, following behind Lord Kesgrave into the study.

“You have no choice.”

“She won’t agree.”

Avis wondered whom this
she
was and what she wouldn’t agree to.

“Compromise her,” Kesgrave said. “In front of a large number of people.”

“She’ll hate me forever if I do that.”

Kesgrave poured two brandies. “Damnation it’s dark in here.”

Blast! If he lit more candles, he would unknowingly reveal her hiding place. While she wasn’t normally one to eavesdrop, this conversation held her interest.

“Ban, if you mean to protect her from him I don’t think you have much choice.”

“She may never agree to marry me anyway. I’m starting to believe she may have feelings for him.”

“You went away with her for a fortnight. Surely she must have some feelings for you?”

They were talking about her! She must be more tired than she realized if she only now determined the subject of their conversation. A burst of anger flared her to action.

“I cannot believe you told him about us,” Avis exclaimed, jumping out of her seat.

“Good evening, Miss Copley.” Kesgrave moved back to the brandy. “Care to join us?”

She ignored her host, instead, glaring at Banning. “You’ve ruined me!”

“Avis, I trust Trey with my life. He would never tell a soul about us.”

“That is not the point. You told him—”

“Actually, Miss Copley, I deduced what had happened between you two.”

She turned back toward Kesgrave. “Why would you have deduced such a thing unless he,” she pointed at Banning, “told you something?”

Kesgrave smiled warmly at her. “I helped Banning prevent you from speaking with Billingsworth the night of your cousin’s ball.”

“And from that you assumed we were lovers?” she asked sarcastically. “It all makes sense now.”

“No,” Kesgrave answered with a low chuckle. “Banning was seen leaving the Halstead Inn with a lady of quality. It seemed a simple enough deduction that you were the woman, especially after your lengthy disappearance with him at your cousin’s ball.”

“We were seen?” she whispered.

“Not entirely,” Banning said, stepping closer to her. “No one saw your face, only mine.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to worry needlessly.”

“Oh my God,” she mumbled, holding her trembling hands together. “This is my punishment for rash behavior.”

“No, it is not,” Banning replied, caressing her cheek with his gloved hand.

“I bid you both a goodnight,” Kesgrave murmured. He drained his brandy and then headed for the door. He closed the door behind him, leaving Avis and Banning alone in the study.

If Lord Kesgrave had figured out their secret, chances were good someone else might too. Then her life would be ruined. The urge to lay her cheek against Banning’s chest became almost too much for her. She wanted his comfort. She desperately needed him to tell her everything would be all right. But he couldn’t do that because her life was such a dreadful mess.

She couldn’t stop her head from dropping to his shoulder. He encased her in his strength and comfort. Lately, Banning appeared before her every time she needed reassurance. She was coming to depend on him far too much.

“Trey won’t speak of this.”

“I know,” she whispered.

She should leave before someone discovered them. She pushed against his chest to ward him off.

“Goodnight, Banning.”

“Don’t go.”

She turned back to face him. His blue eyes sparkled at her in the dim candlelight. “I have to. We both know what happens when we’re alone in a room such as this.”

He smiled, walking closer to her. “A study?”

“Yes,” she answered, taking a step away from him.

“Is there something wrong with that?” He stepped nearer to her again.

This time she could smell the rich aroma of the brandy he’d been drinking. She slowly backed up until her bottom hit the closed door. He stalked her, never taking his ardent gaze off her.

“We just cannot leave this room without a kiss,” he whispered. “It’s what we do.”

But could he leave it at just one kiss? Could she? Memories of making love with him overwhelmed her senses, the taste of him, the spicy scent of the soap he used, the feel of his chest hairs tickling her breasts, the sound of his moans when she kissed him, and the dark look in his eyes as he watched her reach her climax. She wanted him again. Who was she fooling? She had never stopped wanting him.

And she never stopped loving him, either.

He lowered his head slowly as if waiting for her to reject him. But she felt powerless to do anything but watch his full lips come closer to hers. His lips grazed hers, a mere whisper of a touch. A tease of a kiss.

She grasped his lapels and pulled him closer, if only for a moment. Seeing the smug smile on his face just before he passionately kissed her should have cooled her desire—it didn’t. She couldn’t take this further than a kiss, but that didn’t mean she had to be the one to break the exhilarating contact.

His lips trailed a path to her ear. After circling the outer shell, he whispered, “Come to bed with me, Avis.”

Oh dear Lord, how she wanted to do that.

“I want you,” he muttered. “Right now. I want to feel you naked in my arms again.”

He tempted her with his words of passion. It would be so easy to give in to his allure. But it would not be smart.

“No, Banning.”

He smiled against her cheek. “You want me, Avis. I feel your heart pounding against my chest. I hear your ragged breathing. Tell me you don’t want me.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Then we should go to my room.”

“I can’t do that either.”

“Why?”

Such a simple question, but one with far too many answers. “I cannot marry you so this isn’t the right thing to do. Besides, you rescinded your offer of marriage.”

“I might be willing to make another offer.”

“I might not be willing to accept it,” she said with regret.

“I’m not like your father,” he whispered in her ear.

She froze in disbelief. He did not just say those words. He couldn’t have because no one knew except her best friends and they would never tell him. Except one.

“Did your sister tell you about him?”

“Yes.”

She pushed him away as white-hot anger flowed through her veins. “She had no right to talk to you about my private life.”

“You are getting upset over nothing.” Banning attempted to pull her back into his arms, but she shrugged her shoulder out of his grasp. “Besides you should have trusted me enough to tell me about this.”

“My family life is of no concern to you.”

“It is when it prevents you from being happy and marrying me.” He softened his voice. “You are not like your mother. And I am nothing like your father.”

“You’re right, I am not like my mother,” she said, thrusting the door open. She glanced back at him. “But I am just like my father.”

As the door slammed behind her, Banning grabbed the brandy and sank into the nearest chair. How could she believe she was anything like her father? Her father was a monster. Any man who needed to beat his wife and child to prove his manhood disgusted him.

He had no idea how to prove to her that she was wrong. She had none of her father’s traits. She was a loving, passionate woman. He sipped his brandy. Somehow, she had to see how much love she had for people. Including him, he hoped.

How had he gotten himself so involved with her? He never thought he would fall in love as deeply as he had. And now that he had, he wouldn’t let her walk out of his life without a fight. He wanted her as his wife, as the mother of his children, as his lover for the rest of his life.

Talking to her seemed the most sensible solution. Yet, every time he tried to speak to her lately, she pushed him away. Unable to think of anything he could do, he drank. And drank until the pink fingers of dawn slowly spread upwards from the horizon.

The alcohol infused him, turning his ineffectual musing into anger. Anger at her, fury at himself.

This should have been easy. His father had warned him of all the women who might throw themselves at him in order to become the next Countess of Selby. But not Avis. No, she had to make this harder than anything he had ever attempted. He compromised her, and she still would not concede to marriage. He had told her that he loved her and she wouldn’t agree to marry him.

What else could he do?

He needed to find something to ease the anger and frustration warring in him. Looking outside, he realized exactly what he should do.

He strode to the stables, woke the stableboys, and kicked them out. Then he moved every horse into the fenced field and set to work in one of the stalls. There was nothing like a little hard labor to work off his ire. He tore off his jacket and cravat, loosened his shirt, and set forth to clean the stables. After he finished one stall, he removed his damp, linen shirt and started on the next stall.

“I do have some lads that are paid to do this.”

He looked behind him to see Trey leaning against the wall with a smirk on his face. Banning frowned. “Leave me alone.”

Trey’s smug grin turned into a full smile. “Something tells me that my leaving you and Miss Copley in the study last night did not end the way you had hoped.”

“Get out.”

“And miss your misery?” he asked with a laugh.

Banning took a deep breath and attempted to ignore his most annoying friend. Unfortunately, Trey’s chortles made it impossible. He turned and faced him. “What is so damn funny?”

“If I remember correctly, you took great amusement at my contorted courtship. It is a pleasure to watch you have the same issues.”

“Bloody hell,” he mumbled. “Some courtship. The woman wants nothing to do with marriage.”

“There’s always Miss Roebuck,” Trey said then fled the stables before Banning could throw something at him.

He didn’t want Olivia Roebuck or any other young, silly girl. He wanted the passionate woman who warmed his bed only a few weeks ago. He only wanted Avis.

Avis took a deep breath then headed for the stables. A footman had told her Banning had been down there for an hour. After spending hours contemplating the situation, she finally knew she had to tell him everything. He deserved to know why she couldn’t marry him.

As she walked along the pathway, she hoped he’d decided to wait for her this time. She walked along the stone path, noticing the horses out in the fields. They really were beautiful creatures, just large—very large—and very high off the ground.

Lord Kesgrave approached her, returning from the stables. “I would think twice about going down there if I were you.”

“Is something wrong?”

“Selby is in a mood.”

She had never really seen Banning in a foul mood. Other than the day she refused his offer of marriage. “I see,” she replied. “How bad?”

“He is mucking out the stalls,” he answered as if that said it all.

“Oh.”

Kesgrave held out his arm. “May I escort you back?”

Avis bit her lower lip. She had to face her fears and one of them concerned horses, and another involved the man in a black mood. “No, thank you. He promised to help me overcome my fear of horses today. And he shall keep that promise.”

“As you wish, Miss Copley.” Lord Kesgrave continued up the path without her.

With a breath for courage, she walked to the out-building. The door creaked open. She wrinkled her nose as the acrid smell of horse manure wafted past.

“I told you to get out of here, Trey.”

“I am not Trey,” Avis said softly.

He whipped around, his blue eyes icy with rage. Perhaps Lord Kesgrave had underestimated Banning’s mood.

“What are you doing here?”

“I believe we were scheduled for a ride.” She licked her lips. “If you can actually get me on a horse,” she joked.

“This is not the best time.” He turned his back on her, continuing to rake the hay out of a stall. The muscles of his back strained with the movements.

“Banning?”

“I want to be alone.” Using a pitchfork, he tossed fresh hay down in the clean stall.

“Are you angry with me?”

Her question halted his movements. “I’m angry with you, with me, everyone.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. She approached him slowly, carefully as if she expected him to bolt. Her hands slid around his waist as he stiffened. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

He remained silent. She let her head drop to his back. Every muscle in his back tensed with the contact.