Crash Test Love (10 page)

THE MIDDLE

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.

—from Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (2001)

HENRY

INT.—MY BEDROOM, FRIDAY NIGHT

I’d rather talk to people on the computer than in person. In person you have to make eye contact and pretend you’re actual y interested in the conversation. You have to (at empt to) complete your sentences and move the muscles in your face to feign emotion. This is something I’m terrible at. Most people think I’m distant because I assume I’m bet er than they are, but that’s not it at al . I’m distant because I can’t relate, because being around them makes me uncomfortable. This is why I love the Internet. It’s di cult to be detached one-on-one, but AIM makes it easy.

TheDuke69: dude … skip work and come party

Enrico2000: no can do

TheDuke69: all work and no play …

Enrico2000: someone’s gotta pay the billz

TheDuke69: u don’t have any billz

Enrico2000: you know what i mean

TheDuke69: no i don’t

TheDuke69: saw u talking 2 Garrett 2day

Shit. I thought I’d been total y stealth. It’s not anything major—anything other than hel o—but every day since Tuesday, I’ve stopped to acknowledge her presence and prove I’m not a complete asshole. Has anyone else besides Duke noticed?

TheDuke69: u there?

Enrico2000: yeah

TheDuke69: n e thing i should know about?

Enrico2000: nope

TheDuke69: ur not like … dating her behind our backs, rite? i’ve never seen u talk 2 a girl u didn’t wanna hook up with b4. unless … u wanna get with her again?

Again? How about a rst time?

Enrico2000: it’s nothing like that, okay?

TheDuke69: u would tell me if there was something going on, rite?

Enrico2000: of course

I feel bad lying to Duke, but then again … am I real y lying? Nothing’s going on between Garret and me. Not yet, at least. Even if there were something to report, Duke and Nigel certainly wouldn’t approve, so what’s the point of saying anything at al ?

TheDuke69: when do u get o tonight?

Enrico2000: around 11 or so

TheDuke69: call me l8r. meet me & N at this girl’s party in Sea Cli . Should be krazy!

Enrico2000: OK OK … i gotta go. Duty calls

TheDuke69: lata, playa

INT.—HUNTINGTON CINEMAS

I get to work early. I’m already wearing my uniform, and I brought a change of clothes in case I decide to meet up with Duke and Nigel. Lately, I haven’t been hanging out with them as much. I don’t necessarily feel bad about this—life happens—but I do miss their company. Being friends with D & N is easy; they don’t expect me to chime in with some incredible insight about shit I don’t care about. They get that I live on Planet Henry most of the time, and leave me alone as long as I let them visit occasional y.

I check in with Roger, who has me count out one of the cash registers and then heads back to his o ce.

Garret isn’t here yet, and I relish the time alone. It seems odd that our schedules are more or less the same, but I don’t press her (or Roger) about it. I don’t actual y mind working with her. I’m bothered by my feelings for her, sure, and it would be easier if she weren’t around … but there is something that I undeniably like about her. She’s the rst girl I’ve met who isn’t afraid to tel me how it is. I appreciate that. Girls who agree with everything I say aren’t worth my time. Where’s the chal enge?

I recognize a few chicks from school waiting in line to buy tickets for one of the foreign lms, Eso No Es Mi Sombrero (That Is Not My Hat).

They smile at me. I smile back. One of them is cute: short brown hair, clear skin, nice teeth. A freshman.

ME

Hey. You go to East Shore, right?

CUTE FRESHMAN

(nodding)

You’re Henry Arlington.

ME

That’s what they tell me.

CUTE FRESHMAN

(laughing)

Well, um, one for … the Spanish movie.

She glances back at her friends, al of whom have turned a bright, embarrassing pink. I’m about to tel her that the ticket is free (just don’t tel my boss) when someone behind me says: “That’l be eleven fty.”

Garret .

I turn around and man, she looks hot. Damn. The freshman pales in comparison.

CUTE FRESHMAN

I have a student ID.

GARRETT

Good for you. Just saved yourself a dollar.

The rest of the girls pay for their tickets and hurry into the theater.

ME

You sure know how to scare people away.

GARRETT

I have a lot of practice.

What I like about working the register is that, if it’s a busy night, time real y ies by. I don’t know whether Garret recognizes that I’m being stando sh, but since she isn’t exactly initiating conversation either, I gure she’s aware. It’s bet er this way. Even if we got together it wouldn’t end wel . Plus, it’s not like we have that much in common. She’s from Chicago, and I’m from Long Island. Enough said.

Garret takes a break and comes back with a fountain soda. She sips from the straw, watching me as though I’m supposed to say something.

ME

You’re doing a great job.

GARRETT

Thanks.

I look at my watch: 10:06. It’s weird, being here with Garret . We’re not friends, but we’re no longer strangers. I’m unsure how to act around her.

Saying hel o at school is one thing; standing next to her, so close we’re practical y touching, and trying to sustain dialogue is another thing entirely.

ME

Uh, who do you have for English?

GARRETT

Jacobs. Why?

ME

Oh, I have Smythe. I hear Jacobs is a real piece of work. Like, really nuts.

GARRETT

She’s kooky, but I appreciate it. Keeps things interesting.

ME

What are you guys reading?

GARRETT

The Inferno. You?

ME

Oh, we read that already. We’re reading Heart of Darkness.

GARRETT

I didn’t like that one.

ME

Why not?

GARRETT

I mean, it was ne, but I’m not typically a fan of story-within-a-story kind of books.

ME

Me either! Well, I don’t read a whole lot, but in movies … I hate that.

GARRETT

Ugh, I know. Except for—

BOTH

Forrest Gump!

We both laugh.

ME

So, uh, did you have a nice week?

GARRETT

It was all right. I’m still adjusting to East Shore. It’s really di erent than my last high school.

ME

How so?

GARRETT

The people are just, I don’t know … more intense.

ME

Yeah, well, I doubt anyone is more intense than the girls you’ve been hanging out with.

Garret doesn’t respond; I wonder if I pissed her o by mentioning the J Squad. But then she looks at me, real y looks at me, and I nd it impossible to turn away. I don’t see her from a distance, like she’s playing a role in a lm or anything like that—she is right here.

“Thanks for saying hi to me this week,” she says. “It was real y sweet of you.” I total y clam up. My forehead gets sweaty, and I scratch the back of my neck. I don’t know if I’m ready for this. What does she want from me, exactly?

“Do you have any crazy weekend plans?” she asks.

ME

Not really.

I remember how easy it was to talk to Garret when I rst met her. Then I close my eyes and squeeze until the memory bursts and I am back to my life, where things are never easy. It is 10:11. Just under an hour left.

We nish at the same time and walk to the break room, where al the lockers are. There’s also a box of co ee and a few stale donuts on a table in the corner. I take o my uniform (is she watching me?) and put on the shirt I brought with me. I’m about to open my phone and text Duke for the address of the party when Garret ’s bag tips over. Al the contents spil in front of me.

GARRETT

Shit. I’m sorry.

She begins to pick everything up in such a hurry that I wonder if there’s something incredibly personal on the oor, like a tampon or birth control pil s or a picture of her dry-humping a tree. I bend over to help; when I see what was in her bag, my heart jumps.

Movies.

I feel like a kid in a candy store. An American in Paris. Dr. Strangelove. Annie Hal . The Crying Game.

ME

Are these yours?

GARRETT

Yeah. I like to make sure I have something good to watch in case I get bored.

I know exactly what she means. Not having a DVD on me at al times—in my locker, in my car, wherever—is one of the scariest things I can think of.

ME

Have you seen all of these?

GARRETT

Like a million times each. Except for Annie Hall. I’ve only seen it once. I’m in the middle of watching it a second time.

ME

Do you like it?

GARRETT

Yeah. It’s di erent than a lot of movies that were made in the seventies. I think it’s one of Woody Allen’s best.

ME

What do you like about it?

My question seems to ignite her.

GARRETT

Well, for starters I love Diane Keaton. I love Woody, too, and how it was made, you know? How so much of the movie is just talking. How the characters break the fourth wall and speak directly to the camera—it makes the whole thing feel intimate and personal, like I’m part of it.

The more she talks, the faster my heart beats. It’s as if she’s a painting and every word is a brushstroke, coloring her in until she is complete.

“It’s nice to just watch a scene in a movie without so much cut ing back and forth between the actors,” Garret says. “Makes it seem more like real life.” She laughs. “I must have just bored the hel out of you.”

“No,” I tel her. “No. You didn’t.”

I cannot believe how she talks about movies. How she thinks about them.

Like I do.

“What are you doing right now?”

She narrows her eyes. “What do you mean?”

I point at the stack of DVDs in her hands. “You said you’re in the middle of Annie Hal . If you’re not doing anything … maybe you’d want to come over to my house and watch it?”

“You want me to come over to your house?”

My cheeks feel hot. “I mean, you don’t have to. I just have a real y big bed that’s good to watch movies on. I mean, a real y big TV.” I smack my forehead. “Sorry. I should get going.”

“No,” she says, placing her hand on my arm. I practical y jump at her touch. “I’d like to come over. That sounds … nice.” Nice. “Uh, okay.” What have I just done? There’s no time to prepare. This is going to be a disaster.

Yet, I am excited. Nervous. Thril ed. Ready to puke.

I decide against texting Duke—he’l only bother me with a mil ion questions.

“I have my car with me, so I’l just fol ow you?” Garret asks.

I cannot form words. I simply nod and walk straight ahead, out of the break room and into the parking lot. Garret is beside me. She goes over to her car, and maybe it’s the way the light from the street hits her face, or maybe it’s the way she moves, or maybe it has nothing to do with her at al and the change is happening somewhere deep inside me, but for the rst time in a long time I feel, I don’t know, alive.