Damaged & Dangerous: The Sacred Hearts MC Book VI (25 page)

I held onto him, lovingly, my hands sweeping over his damp
skin, following the contours of muscle and bone as he rode me, and I loved it.
I loved him. So much, so deeply. What he did to me, my body, I lost my breath
just as quickly as I’d earned it back and I didn’t care. My voice, high and
bright, spilled from my lips, punctuating every thrust.

“Oh yeah, Baby, come for me a second time, there you go, yes
yes yes yes yes!” I came, my core throbbing unevenly around him, so hard and so
soon after my last orgasm that my vision faded for a moment. I was vaguely
aware of Thirteen jolting inside me, his cock twitching in counterpoint to my
cunt as he came just a moment behind me.

He pulled me tight up against his body and even through his
pleasure, was mindful of the tattoo, rolling us so he was on his back and I was
draped artfully over his chest and body. He kissed the side of my neck and blew
some of my hair up out of his mouth. I languidly gathered the mass and pulled
it behind my neck, over my opposite shoulder, so he didn’t have it in his face.

“Thanks.” He kissed my shoulder to punctuate his statement
but I had no voice to offer him in return. He’d stolen it, robbed me of my
faculties so completely all I could give him was a long, satisfied sigh. I
closed my eyes and lay on him, listening as our uneven breath evened out as we
both slowly came back to earth from our trip up into the stratosphere.

“I love you, Dani,” he whispered before peppering my
shoulder and neck with tiny, satisfied kisses. I cuddled into him tighter and
wiggled my hips a bit, biting my lip. He was still inside me and the movement
sent off little aftershocks. He sucked in a sharp breath and I smiled, good to
know I had some sort of effect, too.

“I love you, too,” I breathed and kissed him gently.

We lay wrapped up in each other for the longest time, the
light strengthening in the room from the high window, chasing back the shadows.
Just like with every touch, every kiss and every smile, Thirteen chased back
the shadows crowding my heart. I pushed off his chest, and it forced him
deeper, which wasn’t painful at all given he was only half erect. I bit down on
my bottom lip and rolled my hips, riding him, and was pleased to see his eyes
roll back in his head, his well-formed chest hitching with a surprised intake
of breath.

I closed my eyes and just felt him, his palms, warm against
my hips, smoothing up my body to cradle the weight of my breasts. Thumbs
caressing the nipples, but oh my god, the sensation of being one with him
overrode everything else and I never, ever wanted to be parted from these
moments. I wanted them, so many more of them… the problem for me was going to
be what came attached.

I gazed down at Thirteen as I made love to him and tried
very hard not to think about the MC, the complications that being part of such
an organization brought, and how my life still lay in ruins around me
because
of one. I didn’t want to deal with any of that right now but at the same
time, there wasn’t any ignoring it. Thirteen was who he was, and he was a
brother of The Sacred Hearts Motorcycle Club.

I closed my eyes and cried out but still, even at a time
like this, that small voice in the back of my mind asked me,
can you really
handle it? After yesterday? After everything? Can you, Dani?

I didn’t have an answer for it. Not one. I didn’t know if or
when I would. I didn’t want to think about it, I didn’t know what to do, and so
for now I did the only thing I could. I made love to the man who’d saved me. I made
love to the man who I’d saved and I tried valiantly to thrust all other
thoughts, cares, worries, and anxieties aside so that when I kissed him, it
held no taste of regret and it wouldn’t taste like goodbye. Because I really
didn’t want what we had to be over. I just didn’t know what to do.

Red-XIII…

Four hours. Dani and I made love for four straight fucking
hours, no pun intended; the morning after Griz’s head got blown off right next
to her. She was amazing. This sultry siren, beautiful and graceful, and I half
worried because there were times I would catch this glint in her eyes like she
was about to cry and that killed me. I would give anything to make it better,
to have the words or the touch to smooth that pain she was harboring away, but
I didn’t. There was no magic fix for this. Just time, and a very real need to
get her to talk, to tell me what she had going on in that pretty little head of
hers.

We showered after our marathon sex. It was kind of required
after how messy it got, not that I was complaining! Far from it, but I tell you
what, both of us were sore and probably wouldn’t be going there again for a day
or two. It was after the shower, as I applied the topical ointment to her tat,
that I tried to broach the topic with her…

“Hey.” She looked up at me, her blue eyes focusing, they’d
been distant for quite some time as she stared into space, thinking.

“What are you thinking about so hard in there?” I asked
softly.

“I…” she swallowed convulsively and I felt my stomach drop.
Oh shit, this was serious. Like, really serious. I felt a prickling rush over
my skin as I tensed, waiting for it. Knowing that I wasn’t going to like what I
was going to hear; but even delivering bad news, Dani was fearless and honest
and, fuck, she was gorgeous.

“I love you,” she stated bluntly. I set the pot of ointment
aside and wiped my hands on one of our discarded bath towels.

“But..?”

She bowed her head and shook it, trying to gather her
thoughts. I sat patient on the outside while I tried like hell not to die on
the inside, fearful of what she was going to say… Jesus, was this it? Was she
going to quit on me? Her eyes locked on mine and her face crumbled a little.

“The MC, I just…” she looked at me, searched my face, which
I tried like hell to keep neutral. She’d been through hell in a hand basket and
yesterday was no exception to that rule. You come that close to dying and it
did some fucked up things to your head. She didn’t need me putting pressure,
making any demands, begging like a pussy… She knew what she needed and she was
going to tell me or talk to me or whatever. I just had to man up and let her do
her thing, even though what I wanted to do was make her stay. Do or say
anything to keep her.

“Talk to me, Baby, just tell me what you got going on in
there.” My voice was quiet, I was trying for soothing, no pressure here…
Just
please, just fucking talk to me Dani!
on the inside, but nothing on the
outside.

“I don’t know what to do, Thirteen. I love you, so much, but
I don’t know what to do! If I should stay, if I should go… I don’t have
anywhere
to
go! I just, I just don’t know if I can stay, though, be with
someone in an MC after everything… I can’t go back to that! How do I know I’m
safe? I mean, I thought I was safe and then he was here and I wasn’t and, and…”
I pulled her lightly into my arms.

“Shhh, Dani it’s okay. Shhh.”

She was panicking, anxiety kicking her full in the teeth,
and there wasn’t much I could do about that except let her go through it and be
here for her. She didn’t cry, but her breath wasn’t even.

I rocked her gently and she finally said, miserably, “What
do I do? I just don’t know what to do… What if the rest of them come? Gordy is
still out there, and Pipes and Bandit, what if they come next? Is it ever going
to stop?”

Fuck.

This was club business and shit she shouldn’t know about.
Telling her those fucks were dead was way out of pocket. Put me and my brothers
in danger if she ever turned on us. I stared into her wide, blue eyes, and had a
decision to make. My girl, or breaching my club’s protocols.

“Dani, Baby, do you trust me?” I asked her. She hesitated,
but I can’t say that was a bad thing. I mean, I wanted her to think about this.
Really think about it, which I knew she always did, and there it was. The
spark, the dawning of understanding in her true blue eyes; she nodded, sure, no
questions asked.

“Yes,” she said aloud, for my benefit that we were being
crystal clear.

“You don’t have to worry about any of them anymore. I swear
to you. I promise you. If I’m lying may I be stripped of my fucking cut and put
Out Bad. You. Are. Safe.”

She swallowed hard and nodded carefully.

“As for the rest, Babe, this club has been my life for a
real long time, I really don’t want to be in a position where I have to choose because
it ain’t no choice at –“

She pressed both of her small hands over my mouth abruptly
and shook her head.

“I won’t do that to you. I couldn’t do that to you and I
really don’t want to know. There’s been so much pain and so much guilt for so
many things… No more. Please no more,” and now her eyes did begin to well.

“Can you give it two weeks?” I asked her, holding her
lightly against me.

“Two weeks? What happens in two weeks?” she asked, and I was
glad she held me back, her slender arms around me.

“We make the ride to Florida to get the other guy’s women.
All of us. Just give me two weeks, make the ride with me. Just this one ride,
meet the girls, soak up some sun, relearn how to breathe. No decisions until
then. You decide after we get there that you can’t do it, I bring you home,
help you get set up wherever doing whatever you want. One day at a time, two
weeks, can I have that?” I asked.

She nodded against my chest, “I can do that,” she said and
she sounded much better, less overwhelmed. Baby steps. One day, one week at a
time. One event at a time. Not too much too fast. It was the best I could
figure for my smart girl who would take on the world if I let her.

I wasn’t giving up my club or my woman. Dani didn’t know
what I’d been about to say. It really wasn’t any choice at all. I would have
both. I’d walk through hell in gasoline boots for her and for my club, and
there had to be a version of the world where I could and would have both. There
had to be.

I helped her dress, and dressed myself, and we went out to
the kitchen to find ourselves something to eat, even though she looked like
she’d rather hurl than put anything in her stomach. I coaxed her into eating
anyways. I knew she was a bundle of nerves, but she was my bundle of nerves and
I would take care of her. Be there for her. Give her some kind of happily ever
after. She deserved it, she deserved the world, the moon, the stars… hell,
everything. I just hoped I could be the man to deliver. I really did.

“What do you want to do, Baby?” I asked her when we’d
finished eating. She looked at me and heaved a great sigh.

“I know it sounds bad, but I want to go back to bed… to
sleep.”

I nodded, “Okay.”

After everything, and with everything crashing down
seemingly all at once, a day in bed sounded like a pretty fine idea and so
that’s what we did. I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t spend that time, all of
that time, staring at Dani’s sleeping, haggard face; trying to figure out how
to keep her, and my club, but most importantly do it in such a way that she
would be happy. I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t feel a touch of loathing for
myself, at what a selfish prick I sounded like inside my own head, but that…
that was a problem for another day.

Dani…

The days crept by. I spent a lot of time in my shop, working
on things. I spent even more time around the guys and that, somehow, more than
anything, made me feel like things really were going to be okay. Thirteen was
patient, kind, but even he could tell I was out of joint and so, on the third
or fourth day after Griz came after me, he finished putting the Aquaphor on my
back for my tattoo and then shoved the pot into one of his saddlebags on the
floor by the bedroom door.

“Are we going somewhere?” I asked softly.

“Figured we’d get you out of here for a day or so, go back
up to my cabin,” he said gently.

“A ride?” I perked up at that. The sun and the wind and that
sense of freedom was calling my name.

“You really like to ride, don’t you?” he asked, grinning.

“By, like, a lot,” I was smiling now, probably one of the
first full smiles I’d cracked in days.

“You aren’t riding like that, better get something better
than stretch pants on. I’ll be out front.” He lifted the saddlebags, which
appeared to be packed and ready to go, and left me sitting on the edge of the
bed, shirtless and staring after him before my brain caught up to the fact that
I could leave…
I was so used to having to have permission that it hadn’t
even crossed my mind that I could have left the SHMC compound at any point.

“Jesus, Dani, for as smart as he tells you that you are, you
can be dumber than a box of rocks, Girl,” I muttered to myself as I scrambled
to comply, fetching  jeans and a shirt and just all things suitable to ride in
from my wardrobe. My wardrobe that Thirteen had cunningly spliced into his
closet and drawers along with his things, while I’d worked away in my shop.

I went out into the common area. It felt strange to be
wearing boots rather than my soft Converse, but for riding, boots were best.
They always would be. The jeans were comfortable enough. A favorite pair of
mine, the tops of the thighs lighter, discolored from age and wear as opposed
to being some fancy designer pair you paid five hundred dollars for. Nope. I
came by the threadbare holes that were starting in this pair honestly. Although
they
were
designer, I’d found them brand new with the tags still on for
twenty bucks at a discount store.

“Ho! Look at you, Girl!” Dragon crowed from where he was
slouched in a chair. He had work spread in front of him, like old fashioned
ledgers and numbers kind of book keeping. I smiled and pulled my hair from the
collar of my leather jacket. My back itched beneath the weight of the leather
and my plain, figure hugging, black cotton tee, but I would have to get over
it. There was nothing I could do for it.

I slipped my bug-eyed sunglasses out of my pocket and pulled
a cleaning cloth out of the little pocket in the front of the leather meant to
hold a cigarette lighter, polishing the plastic lenses as I came more fully
into the common room.

“You look good, Rocket,” Thirteen said from the door. I
smiled for him.

“Thanks,” I murmured. Dragon pushed to his booted feet and
came towards us.

“I think this is a good idear, you getting away from here a
day or two,” he said, and sucked his teeth. I had to smile at the way he said ‘idea.’
He added an ‘r’ in there without meaning to, so it came out ‘idear’ instead of ‘idea.’
It was such an old-school thing to say, and reminded me of Skid during the few
good times. My smile diminished. In my heart of hearts I knew Skid was gone and
I kept going back and forth on it; one minute being okay, the next, kind of
missing him. I put my sunglasses on in a bid to hide the warring emotions in my
eyes and Dragon raised an eyebrow.

“See those?” he asked, holding out a hand. I frowned but
held them out. He promptly gripped them in his big hands and snapped them in
two at the nose bridge, rendering them useless. I gaped and scoffed,
incredulous. He smiled and pulled a case out of his inside pocket.

“Think these might suit you better, they were my wife’s.” He
held out the hard eyeglass case and I blinked. I knew the story. Dray had told
me about his woman, Everett, one night while we were all out back sitting
around a fire in one of those outdoor copper fire pit basins. The guys drinking
beer, relaxing on these wood lounge chairs that Nox had built with his brother,
Rush.

I had been sitting between Thirteen’s thighs, back against
his chest, his arms around me, cuddling me close, when Dray had just started
talking about her, about how she understood him and how he missed her most at
times like these. He’d said she got him more than anyone else because of their
shared loss of a parent close to the same age. Then all of the guys had started
reminiscing about Tilly, Dragon’s wife and Dray’s mom.

I stared dumbly at the eye glass case in my hands until
Dragon grumbled, “Ain’t like I’m giving you the Holy Grail, Girl. Go on, open
it.”

Blinking back tears at the gesture, I opened the case and
found a pair of black-framed glasses, the lenses rectangular and a deep
lavender, the frames thin and girly.

“Pretty face like yers, no need to be hiding that with big,
bug-eyed lenses. Now go on and get out of here.” Dragon tapped me on the shoulder,
one of those open handed claps to the upper arm, and I wiped at the moisture in
my eyes and sniffed. Sometimes being a girl had its advantages. Like now. I
hugged the big, older biker and he barked a bit of a laugh. I slipped the
glasses on my face and put the case in my inside pocket.

“Thank you,” I murmured.

“You bet, Dani,” Dragon said softly, and I reached for and
took Thirteen’s outstretched hand and let him lead me outside.

The sky was cloudless and as blue as a summer sky could be,
and Thirteen’s bike idled at the ready just outside the door. I cast a look
over towards my tired old Mazda, which hadn’t moved since it’d been parked, and
I felt a little rueful. Thirteen handed me my helmet and with a surge of joy I
whipped my hair up into a messy knot and, helmet in place, got on behind him.

“You good?” he called. I couldn’t help but grin. Dragon’s
small gesture had broken something loose, and the weight of sorrow that I had
been carrying since I’d been coated in Griz’s blood and brains lifted. I
snugged in close against Thirteen’s back and squeezed him with my thighs. He
bit off a laugh.

“Babe you’re gonna make me hard as fuck, you keep that up!”
he called.

“Good! I’ll take care of you at the cabin!” I called back
and he barked a laugh.

“You have no idea what riding with a Thirteen-inch boner is
like. If you did, you’d knock it off,” he said. I wrinkled my nose and snuggled
a little closer. Thirteen shook his head, put it in gear, and took us down the
driveway as the gate rumbled to the side. I held on tight as he took us onto
the highway and let the wind strip the rest of the weight of my sorrow away.