Authors: Elaine White
“You'll never lose me.
” Ron sighed and he drew him into his arms.
Lachlan escaped into them, relieved beyond words to have his acceptance. He hadn't realised how scared he'd been about not having it until he came home.
“You can stay with him. But tonight only. If you want to keep seeing him, I need to know where you are at all times,” he asked, resting his head against his and holding him tight.
“
I promise. I won't forget again,” he vowed never to forget that he had parents who loved him and needed to know he was safe. He'd been so stupid not thinking about that before.
“Fine.” His dad squeezed his shoulders in a tight hug for a moment before stepping back and holding him at arm
’s length. “Will you go heat up my tea while I have a chat with your mother?” he asked, putting on a smile as he brushed at his cheeks.
“Of course.”
Lachlan turned and left the room, silently cursing himself for crying as he ventured into the kitchen at the far end of the room. He even shut the dividing doors as he went inside, to give his parents a modicum of privacy. But as he put the kettle on and ventured to the cupboard by the door for a plate, he heard them talking.
“This me
ans a lot to him, doesn't it?” his dad asked, with a voice that sounded as full of emotion as his own was.
“You saw him. He was begging you, Ron. Nothing has ever
been so important to him before,” his mother said.
Lachlan smiled as he thought of how unfailingly supportive she had been, even before she knew why he needed that support so badly.
“And you're okay with this? His…being with another man?”
“I don't see why not.” He heard her sigh and peeked through the gap in the door to see her reaching over the arm of her chair to take his father's hand. He looked so confused and Lachlan felt guilty for doing that to him. “Honey, I know it's not the fact that Cormag is a man that's bothering you. It's his age. But I've met him and I've listened to Lachlan yatter on about him all night. He's a good man and he would never push our bo
y into anything he doesn't want,” she reassured him.
“You're positive?” Ron asked, raking his hand through his hair.
“Yes.”
“Where did Konnor go?” h
e enquired, as he moved over to the single armchair by the TV. It was his usual seat and Lachlan could only guess from the way he changed the subject that he was going to agree to try to accept this curveball he'd thrown at him.
“No idea.
He's not taking it well at all,” his mother explained, shaking her head as she turned back to her textbook.
“I can't blame him,” h
is dad grumbled and started biting his thumbnail as he stared at the TV. Lachlan knew what that meant; he wasn't going to easily accept anything he'd told him, but he wouldn't openly fight it either. Well, it was still better than Konnor's reaction so all he could do was hope that Cormag charmed the socks off his parents whenever they eventually met. Because they would have to at some point, even if it was only to shut everyone up.
It had been a long day and a lot of emotions had been flying around. Cormag sank onto the sofa, called in a takeout order and decided to be lazy. He wasn't moving from his seat until the delivery boy came and after that he wasn't moving until Lachlan showed up.
He was still a little worried about how his talk with his parents and Konnor was going since there was no word from him. There had been one text to say that he'd got Konnor back to his house successfully, but he'd decided not to answer so that he didn't get distracted from his purpose. It was difficult not to send off a quick text asking how it was going, but he was resolved not to.
Cormag decided to distract himself. He picked up the phone and dialled out to Harper's mobile number, hoping he wasn't busy at work. After a few rings he picked up, sounding cheery. “What's going on, brother?” Harper asked happily.
“Quite a lot actually. How are you an
d Nessa getting along, first?” he wondered, as he lifted his bottle of beer from the coffee table and took a decent sip. From how chirpy his brother was he gathered that he had the day off. He was pleased, because he had a lot to say.
“Great. She's talking ab
out maybe trying for a kid soon,” Harper admitted.
“Wow. How are you feeling about that?” Cormag was more than pleased to hear that they were finally going to give it a shot.
“Okay actually. I think we're ready,” Harper confessed. “I need to have a word with the boss about getting some paternity leave if it happens. I don't want her going all crazy trying to get everything done by herself when I can help out. She needs to be careful with her stress levels so it's best that I make myself available,” he said, with a heavy sigh.
Cormag felt the weight of those words. Nessa had difficulties regulating her adrenaline thanks to a faulty adrenal gland the doctors had discovered a few years ago. It was the founding reason they kept putting off having kids, but she was on medication now and it was working well. That didn't limit the potential danger, unfortunately.
“Right. I forgot about that.” Cormag frowned as he wondered how he could help.
There wasn't much he could do during the pregnancy, but he could certainly be an attentive uncle and do some babysitting once in a while. He didn't want Nessa passing out from stress like she used to, because she was worked off her feet. She had an art gallery to run and Harper to worry about every time he got called away to work. She had enough on her mind.
“At least you'll be in it together. You guys are solid and your boss understands.” He tried to offer all the emotional support he could to his brother, so that he knew he'd be there for him. Monroe might not take it well, at first. But he was hopeful that with gradual exposure and letting him see the benefits of being an uncle, he could adjust just fine.
“I'm sorry. Here I am going on about babies and relationshi
ps and you're feeling miserable,” Harper apologised needlessly.
Cormag's last relationship had ended a year ago after his ex broke up with him. Heath's ex had come back to town and that had apparently been a bat signal to his boyfriend that they were destined to be together. So out he went and in came the ex. They'd been together for nearly a year and he ended up with his heart broken. That was about when he
’d moved to his new house in a new town to start a new job. And he still ended up alone.
“Actually, I'm not.” Cormag felt it was only fair to give Harper a heads up. He was, after all, calling to talk about
Lachlan any way. “I met someone,” he revealed, a little excited at the rare flutter he felt in his stomach. And excited and hopeful and a whole bunch of emotions that he shouldn't have been feeling so soon.
“Really? Or are you pulling my leg?”
“I'm serious. I met someone yesterday and I think there's something,” he promised that he wasn't joking around. He had done that about six months ago, getting through a whole conversation about a made-up relationship before he had to reveal the truth to Harper. He'd been furious, but also sad that his little brother had to pretend to be dating someone to convince his family that he was doing okay.
“Yesterday? Dude, you're not lyi
ng to keep me quiet, are you?” he wondered. Cormag couldn't help but laugh. He'd learned from last time then.
“No. I met this guy and there was an instant connection. That's kind of why I called. I invited him to the game tomorrow and now I need to ask if you can get me seven tickets this late on?” He knew he was asking a lot. But he also knew that Harper would do anything for him. Especially when it had something to do with a relationship.
He didn't date much; his experiences in high school had told him not to trust people foolishly and he'd learned his lesson from that. He'd had only three boyfriends his whole life and he'd never had a fling or one night stand.
In fact, the physical part of relationships had always been instigated by his partners who were usually dominating, controlling, physically strong while emotionally and intellectually empty. It was so different with Lachlan
, he barely knew where to start. Harper made a sound of interest, probably afraid to say anything until he knew more. Cormag kept talking, hoping that his brother understood how he felt.
“He's…Harper, he's never been with a guy before. He's never even been attracted to another guy before me. This is difficult for his friends to accept, so I thought if they came to the game we could al
l hang out together for a while,” he explained his plan and was almost certain that he'd convinced his brother.
“And how is he dea
ling with it?” he wondered, sounding more curious than unhappy.
“I'm happy aren't I?” He laughed a little with the words. It was an understatement and he guessed Harper knew that because he sighed and spoke calmly
, but insistently.
“Tell me the truth. What's really going on?”
Cormag explained the whole story from how he'd met Lachlan for the first time, what had happened, right up to that afternoon when he'd left him at his Konnor's house. He admired Lachlan for being so brave that he confronted his friends and family so soon. He had taken the time to trust his instincts and it had led to a revelation about his orientation. That wasn't always such an easy thing for an eighteen year old to adapt to, but Lachlan was sensible. He couldn't have been more proud.
“You took him back to your house?” Harper asked in surprise. “That says a lot. And if he's coming around tonight, I guess you're doing all right. But I know you, Cormag, you feel deep
and you end up getting hurt,” he protested, with that tone that said he should be careful. He understood that, he did, but this wasn't like every other time. Lachlan wasn't the bad boy who would break his heart.
“He's not like that. He's real. He's not the selfish bad boy or a dominating loser. Lachlan is…the sweetest, smartest guy I've ever met. You're going to love him.” Cormag laughed again. He was happy; happier than he'd been in a long time.
“That's your job. I'll settle for not punching his face in,” he said, as if that was a real possibility. And he knew it was. Hadn't he knocked Heath on his ass?
“Trust me. He's the only one I've ever been sure about.” He made the confession, even though he knew how Harper would take it. And true enough his brother sighed heavily and went quiet for a moment. Cormag was feeling far too much for Lachlan so soon into the game, but he couldn't help it. There was something that happened to him when he was with him that made him feel safe and loved. It didn't have to make sense. They had plenty of time to get to know each other and spend time together.
“Are you prepared for this? You really got hurt last time and you sound far too serious about this guy. You've only known him a day,” his big brother asked, with real concern in his voice.
Cormag loved him for it, but he was adamant. He wished that he could tell him that instead of his mind instantly going back to that awful moment when Harper first found out how bad things were.
When Heath had gone back to his ex last year he'd taken and sold all of the things that he'd left at his apartment. Then he'd kicked the crap out of him when he so innocently went looking for his stuff. He hadn't even pressed charges because he was so emotionally crippled by the break up. So Harper had been the one to do it, claiming he wasn't in his right mind from new medication he was on. It was total bull, but he'd been lucky enough to have a sympathetic cop on his side. Heath had got six months for assault and battery and had to pay him compensation for the things he'd sold.
But that money didn't fix the broken nose Cormag had suffered or heal the bruises all over his ribcage. Or even partially pay for the replacement first edition book or original artwork that Heath had sold. He had been heartbroken, beaten and robbed and he blamed himself for six months. It was like high school all over again.
“I know. But it's because I know that Lachlan is the real deal. I could love him, Harper, if we had enough time,” Cormag promised that this wasn't the same.
“You're not
helping me feel okay about this,” Harper protested gruffly.
“I know. But the problem is that I think he feels the same about me, which is why Konnor is having so much trouble. And why I need the tickets.” He tried taking the conversation away from his personal failures in relationships and back to the point. But he knew his brother; he knew he wouldn't want to let go of this easily.
He was in a vulnerable, dangerous place, yet again and Harper thought he didn't see the warning signs. He thought he never saw them until it was too late. But that wasn't the problem. The problem was that he always saw them coming and he was too scared of losing the person he had become so attached to, to do anything about it. Cormag knew he was many things; serious, naïve, insecure; but he knew the danger Lachlan posed to his heart. He knew that this would screw him up if it went sideways. But this time, unlike all the others, he knew that Lachlan was worth it.
“I'll get you your tickets, no problem. But I want a priv
ate word with this guy tomorrow,” Harper put a condition on the tickets that frustrated him. He didn't want him talking to Lachlan and scaring him off.
“Do you have to?”
“Yes. You are my kid brother and I will
not
let anything happen to you.” He was adamant, so Cormag had to give in. He wasn't going to relent about this.
“Fine. You'll meet Lachlan tomorrow and he'll prove
to you that he won't hurt me,” he agreed, reluctantly.
“I can deal with that. He's going
to have to be damned convincing,” he grumbled, as if the thought of letting anyone near him was unthinkable.
“He is.” Cormag laughed as he made the promise. He couldn't help but think that they wouldn't be in this mess if Lachlan wasn't so convincing. He'd been the one to talk him into a relationship, into dating, the one who talked him into going back to his house where they felt so comfortable with each other. If he was honest, it was Lachlan's ability to convince him of absolutely anything that was the problem…how could he resist some
one who cared about him so much?