Dipping Into Sin 2: Digging Deeper Into Sin (15 page)

Chapter Thirty-One

Simone

Sitting at the edge of my bed, I rested my
elbows on my knees as I prepared for another sleepless night. Frustrated, I
released a mangled breath as my mind drifted off to what took place moments
before. Hearing the sound of the shower running, a tsk escaped my lips as I
thought about a way to get Andriano out of the house. Grandma’s home-going was
two days from now, and this was the last thing that I wanted to deal with. Exhaling,
I spoke out loud, “Grandma, I miss you.”

Grabbing my cell phone, I sent out a text
message to Andre, apologizing to him about tonight. After sending the text, I
thought about how much it was unfair that he had to deal with this unnecessary
drama. Typing away, I told him that I had to take care of this matter first
before we could proceed with ‘us’. Scrolling through my text message list, I
stopped at Victoria’s and read her message for her flight arrangements for
tomorrow. In the midst of planning for Grandma’s funeral services, going back
to work, interviewing nannies, and getting adjusted to the idea of life without
grandmother, I completely forgot to tell Victoria about Andriano finding out
about the girls.

Grabbing the remote control off of my
nightstand, I flipped through the channels, searching for anything that I could
escape into. Eventually after a few minutes of trying to find something to
watch, I turned the television off and stared at the ceiling. Shifting my eyes
to the door, my mind drifted to Andriano being on the opposite side of the
door. Suddenly my skin became feverish with a need that only Andriano could
provide. Shaking the thoughts away, I focused on the ceiling again and started
to count backward from 100. I made it to 89 before pulling the thin sheets off
of my legs.

 Climbing out of the bed, I made my way to my
drawers in search for my trusted friend, Mr. Black. Going through my underwear
drawer, I searched through and through. As I rummaged through my drawers, I
felt a distinct object that was covered by my panties. Pulling out the object,
I looked at the tape recorder that Victoria came over here with a few weeks
ago. Searching for the tapes, I found three little tapes marked by letters. Walking
back to my bed, I chose a tape in no particular order and opened the slot. Placing
tape C into the slot, I closed the latch and pressed rewind. Within a minute,
the tape stopped, and my finger was all too eager to press play.

           
Donald Spillmore:
Victoria sent her the engagement picture from the party.

            Unidentified male:
Good.

*Chuckling in
the background from unknown person*

           
Donald
Spillmore:
So you’ll leave—you’ll leave him alone, like we

agreed, right?

            Unidentified male:
*Chuckling* Your lover gets to live another day.

           
Donald Spillmore:
Thank you, Don Balducci.

 Unidentified
male:  Just make sure that she stays away. If she steps foot

back into New York or New
Jersey, she’s dead and so is your lover. 

Recording
stopped.

            Looking down at my shaking hands, the tape
recorder slipped from my grasp as fear transfixed my tears. Leaning forward, I
attempted to remove the tape from the slot, but my fingers kept slipping. I
needed to know what the other tapes said. Loud sobs started to escape from the
comforts of my silent tears as I struggled to stop shaking. Just then, Andriano
appeared at the door. Taking shorts steps towards my bed, Andriano holstered me
into his arms.

            “Bella mia, what’s wrong? Talk to me,” he said,
as his tone was filled with a combination of equal parts of anguish and urgent.

            Unable to speak, my body continued to go through
a series of shocks as I attempted to come to grips with how close that I had
been to dying. Am I still in danger? Did they follow Andriano over here? Are my
daughters in danger? Pushing my body away Andriano, I needed to go check on my
daughters to make sure that they were safe.

            “Get off of me,” I flew into a massive state of
hysteria as the words from the tape echoed throughout my head. “I have to make
sure that my girls are safe. Please, Andriano.” I begged as I tried to escape
his firm hold.

            “Bella mia, they’re fine. I checked on them.
They’re sleeping peacefully baby. Tell me what’s wrong. I’ll fix it.”

            “You’ve done enough. You and your family have
done enough!” I shouted as I swatted his hands away. He tightened his hold,
refusing to let go of me. “You need to leave my house now before they kill me
and my daughters because of you,” I ordered.

            “Tell me what happened,” he demanded. Diverting
my eyes to the tape recorder that laid on the mattress, Andriano released his
hold on me. Grabbing the tape recorder, Andriano pressed the rewind button and replayed
the callous conversation. Jumping up out of the bed, I made my way to my
daughters’ room. My eyes swept from left-to-right as I repeatedly looked over
at my sleeping daughters. Leaning over each of my daughters, I kissed their
heads and took one final glance before closing the door.

            Entering my bedroom once again, I caught Andriano
stuffing the tapes and the recorder into his pajama pants pocket. My eyes
widened as I blurted, “What are you doing?”

            “Who gave this to you?” His chiseled jaw shifted
tensely as he made it undoubtedly clear that he was angry.  

            “I can’t tell you,” I stated firmly.

            “Simone…” he said threateningly.

            “You need to go,” I said as it dawned on me that
Andriano was planning to take action. “Don’t do anything to your father,
Andriano. No matter what he’s still your dad.”

            “It’s too late for that; the bitter asshole is
dead. I could spit on his grave and curse him to rot in hell. Fucking miserable
prick,” Andriano said, as my eyes dropped down to the veins that was bulging
out of his arms and neck.

            “What picture was sent to you?” he asked as his
impassioned face struggled to remain neutral.  

            Digging through my closet, I finally found the
picture of Andriano and Josephine’s engagement party photo. A nauseating
feeling washed over me as I thought back on the day that I received this photo.
I truly believed that this was part of some sick twisted joke. Now to find out
that my best friend sent the photo left me in a state of shock.

            Handing the picture over to Andriano, he took one
glance at the framed photo before saying, “The three men that were on these
tapes are now dead. I doubt that they would have known about the girls because
they would’ve taken some form of action against them.”

            “If Donald Spillmore knew where I was living,
what makes you think that the rest of them did not know?” I asked alarmed.
“What if they’ve been watching my daughters and me over the past five years?
What if there are others that are still watching?”  

            “You and the girls are going to stay at the new
house. I have the security system set in place, and the house is virtually off
of the grid,” he began. Walking towards my closet, Andriano pulled out my
suitcase before saying, “Pack light. Whatever you need, I’ll make sure that
you’ll get it.”  

“No, you need to leave.”

“Simone, I’m not taking
no
for an
answer,” Andriano said as if he finalized the next course of action.

            “Andriano, I’m not going anywhere with you. This
is my home. This is the only home that the girls know. Besides, I still have to
wrap up the details for Grandma’s funeral.”

            “Funeral?” he asked as he looked over his
shoulder at me with calculated eyes.

            “Yes,” I answered as I struggled to slow down my
racing heart. “She passed away a few days ago.” Taking a deep breath, I braced
myself before telling Andriano about how my daughters were the only people home
when they found Grandma lying face down on the kitchen floor. Andriano’s face
softened as I sobbed in between telling him everything from that day until
Acelia’s dream tonight. Andriano paced back and forth throughout my bedroom, as
his face became beet red with encircling emotions. “They had their own share of
trauma that I wish I could take away. I can’t expose them to this kind of
mess,” I finished.

            Bringing the suitcase to the edge of the bed,
Andriano stopped and kneeled before me. “Baby, I’m here. I’m here for you and
our daughters. You don’t have to carry this weight around anymore.”

            Sighing, I looked away. Chewing on the inside of
my lip, I finally responded after a few minutes passed between us. “I can’t
bring myself to rely on you. For so long, I’ve only relied on myself and
Grandma. I’ve survived without you. My daughters have survived without you. So,
I’m pretty sure that we will continue to survive without you.”    

Standing up, Andriano began pacing my
bedroom as he took in my statement. Finally stopping in front of me, Andriano
said, “Our daughters are lucky to have a mother like you. Thank you for keeping
our daughters safe these past five years. But, I’m here now. I’m not going to
walk away from you and my daughters. If I have to die in order to protect you,
then so be it. It’s time for you to get comfortable with the idea that I’m not
leaving.”

            Sniffling, I wiped the tears away as Andriano
stroked my folded leg before saying, “I know that these past five years have
been crazy but, bella mia, I need you to stop fighting me.”

            “Andriano, you’re married and I refuse to be the
reason why your marriage is over. I don’t want to break up the home that you
and her built with each other. It’s bad enough that you and I were intimate.”

            “My home has always been with you. That’s where
my heart’s been—with you and only with you. How can I have a marriage with
anyone when the person is not you?” he asked softly.

            Shaking my head in disbelief, I said, “Andriano,
my life is here with my daughters. I have a job that I rely on to support my
family. I’m not going to up and leave everything behind because of you. Already
I’ve been thrust into this drama. I have to protect my daughters. So, no I’m
not going anywhere with you.”

            His eyes became clouded by darkness. “Don’t test
me Simone. I’ll toss you over my shoulders if I have to,” Andriano threatened.

            Combing my fingers through my hair, I shut my
eyelids briefly as I tried to soothe away the headache that was forming.
Finally opening my eyes, I said, “Before you came back into my life, I was not
worried about anything other than you finding out about my daughters. But, even
then that fear diminished with each passing year. Maybe if you go back to
Josephine—”

            Interjecting, Andriano cut me off and said, “There
is nothing to go back to when
everything
is with you. Before coming out
here to find you, I had already decided that I was ending my arrangement. Over
the years, I reorganized everything to make sure that I had the most power. I
needed to make sure that what happened five years ago did not happen again.”

            “Andriano, please try to reason with me. I
understand that I’m asking a lot by telling you to walk away from our
daughters. But, understand my position. Understand why I don’t want them
associated with you,” I began. Judging by the way Andriano was staring at me, I
knew that he was not going to easily walk away from our daughters. Remembering
what Grandma said a couple of months ago, I knew that I had to do the right
thing.

“Maybe we can try and reach an agreement of
some sort. You can be in our daughters’ lives. But only under one condition…you
must leave the mafia,” I mustered up enough courage to say. As much as I wanted
Andriano to stay away from my daughters, I knew that deep down inside, my
daughters deserved to know the truth. Although tatted with flaws, Andriano
wanted to be in their lives. Unlike most men, my father included, Andriano
refused to walk away from them. Still, as long he is associated with this
lifestyle, he could not associate himself with my daughters.

            “Simone, I cannot walk away,” Andriano revealed
as he turned away from me.

            Looking up at him in horror, I remained quiet as
he proceeded to give me a run-down of La Cosa Nostra and the arranged marriage
that was forced upon him. In the end, his last words bounced around in my
thoughts. “I am the mob.”  

            “You have to make a choice. It is either my daughters
or La Cosa Nostra,” I asserted. Raking his fingers down his face, Andriano
remained silent as he paced the room again.

Finally stopping, Andriano came before me and
kneeled. “Did you ever look at the box that I gave you that day in the parking
lot?” Andriano asked as his hands traveled to my foot.

            “No, I never found it in my heart to forgive
you,” I admitted as I leaned over and pulled the object from my drawer. “I
don’t know if I’ll ever forgive you,” I said as looked down at the box before
stretching my hand out to give it to him.

            Pressing his warm palm over my hand, Andriano’s
beautiful grey eyes pierced through my guarded heart before he said, “For the
rest of my life, I’ll do whatever it takes until you forgive me. I want you to
open this when your heart is ready to forgive me.” 

            “I just feel like it’s too late for us,” shaking
my head I moved Andriano’s hand away from my foot. “You have to understand that
what we have is a strong sexual chemistry.”

            “Bullshit Simone. You and I both know that it’s
more than that,” Andriano responded harshly.