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Authors: Gary Braver

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BOOK: ELIXIR
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But at my back I always hear
Time’s winged chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.
—ANDREW MARVELL, “TO HIS COY MISTRESS”
THE PRESENT
DEVIL’S LAKE, WISCONSIN
T
he kid with the blond ponytail under his cap was good.
He was from Pierson Prep where they had an experienced team and a dedicated coach who trained his wrestlers as if they were heading for the Olympics.
Wally Olafsson had watched the kid’s last match earlier that afternoon. He had pinned the captain of Appleton Tech in a mere thirty-nine seconds. He wasn’t too tall, but he was well-built, fast, and balanced. Worse, he knew some fancy moves Wally’s son, Todd, hadn’t experienced before, including a cunning reverse cradle. Unfortunately, Todd was facing the kid for first-place finals in the 135-pound weight class for the region. If Todd won, he’d go home with a two-foot-high trophy. If he lost, he’d take second and a fourteen-incher.
It was after seven, and the gym was packed with wrestlers and spectators filling the stands and pressed five deep around the three mats where the matches had been running continuously since ten that Saturday morning. Parents with cameras were squatting on the edges, hooting and hollering for their boys.
Wally sat high in the stands so he could get an overhead zoom of Todd through the video cam.
All around him were wrestlers—young hardbodied Zeuses smelling of Gatorade and testosterone. The heat of their presence took him back to his own high school days when he played varsity baseball at Buckley High in Urbana. Now he was fat, bald, and grossly out of shape. His joints cried out just watching the boys twist each other into crullers. Yet, there was a time when he, too, was lean and made of hard rubber. But, sadly, at fifty-seven,
Wally Olafsson had decided that he was beyond physical fitness and had settled into middle age ripeness. George Bernard Shaw was right: Youth is a wonderful thing; too bad it’s wasted on the young.
Because Marge had moved to the other side of the state with Todd after their divorce, Wally saw his son wrestle only at these weekend tournaments. And this was the biggest—a three-state regional. Wally could barely steady the camera as Todd faced off with the kid in the green Pierson tights. First place would mean everything to Todd.
The ref blew the whistle, and instantly the Pierson kid dropped to a predatory crouch, dancing to keep Todd at bay. It was the same strategy he had used in his last match—start low, jig a few seconds, then springing to take his opponent off guard and pulling him down like a cheetah on a gazelle.
Tiring of the sparring, Todd made a move to get the kid in a headlock. But he missed. And the Pierson boy flew up, catching Todd around the shoulders and pulling him down on his back with a hard thud. In a reflexive squirm, Todd rolled onto the kid’s back which through the viewfinder seemed like a smart move but proved fatal—a ploy the Pierson kid had used on his last opponent. In a lightning flash, he whipped his right arm around Todd’s neck, turned 90 degrees to his body, and pressed his back to Todd’s front, brilliantly arching him into a reverse cradle. The ref dropped to the floor, and a moment later smacked the mat with the flat of his hand. It was over. Todd had been pinned in fifty-seven seconds.
Instantly, the Pierson crowd exploded and jumped in place. Wally’s heart sank as he zoomed in. The disappointment on Todd’s face was palpable. He shook hands with the Pierson kid who pulled off his cap and waved at the crowd.
In the split instant as the kid turned full-face into the camera, something jagged through Wally’s consciousness. It was too fast for him to process the experience—like trying to recompose a television image after the set had been turned off. But something tripped his mind.
He climbed down from the stand and cut through the crowd, hoping to console Todd who sat on the bench with his head in his hands. He muttered a few words of consolation, but Todd wanted to repair on his own.
The big green Pierson team was on the far side of the gym. Although Wally was toxic with resentment, he decided to congratulate the winner. He also wanted to dispel something he had picked up through the viewfinder.
He cut behind the gallery until he spotted the blond ponytail, then aimed the camera. The kid was taking slaps and high fives from teammates. Wally thumbed the zoom button until he had a tight shot on the kid’s face. He was handsome, with a tight muscular jaw, finely etched features, a thin straight nose, high forehead. Somebody put his arms around him in a bear hug, and Wally froze.
The man in the blue sweatsuit and baseball cap was clearly the kid’s father—the same build and facial structure. What stopped Wally’s breath was not the strong resemblance to his son but to somebody else … the guy who lived upstairs from him at Harvard back in 1970.
Christopher Bacon.
A thrill of recognition shot through him. The last he had heard, Chris had taken a job at some chemical lab around Boston. He must have relocated.
Wally cut through the crowd for a closer look. The man turned. Except for the dark beard and long hair, it was Chris Bacon.
Sweet Jesus, the guy had kept himself in good shape.
Through the zoom, he pulled the man in all the way and hit the record button.
If it was Chris, he must have had some plastic surgery—lots of guys did these days—because he didn’t look any older than he did in grad school when Chris was doing a post-doc in biochem, and Wally, a doctorate in economics. They had both been freshman proctors at Pennypacker House, Chris on the second floor—a corner room, and the center of all-night bull sessions.
In a flash, Wally was back in Cambridge: in that room, at the Wursthaus in the Square, clinking glasses (and under the warm glow of the alcohol swearing “Friends for life!”), partying at tight Garden Street apartments, protesting Dow Chemical recruiters on campus, storming Harvard Square over Nixon’s carpet-bombing of Hanoi, getting maced by Cambridge cops after Kent State, Harvard-BU hockey games, double dating at the Orson Welles Cinema, and the
King of Hearts
marathon in Central Square … . (What was his girl’s name? Brenda … ? Wanda … ? No … Wendy. That was it:
Wendy.)
As Wally peered through the zoom, it all rushed back as if he were looking at a kinescope through a time warp.
While he told himself that the guy just looked like a young Chris Bacon, that he was somebody else completely, Wally felt himself flush with emotions, as if trying to hold onto a make-believe moment—not wanting
the guy in the viewfinder to be anyone other than Chris Bacon of 1970. It was irrational and pathetic, but for one shimmering moment Wally slipped through the lens to a greener day.
A buzzer went off, and he was back in the gym.
He moved to the wall where the elimination matches were posted. On the 135 weight-class sheet, Todd’s final opponent was listed: BRETT GLOVER, Pierson Prep.
Glover, not Bacon.
Wally’s heart sank.
Not Chris Bacon, but, God, what a resemblance!
He made his way to the knot of green uniforms. “Great job out there.”
The Glover boy thanked him.
At the same time, the boy’s father glanced over his shoulder. And Wally’s mind jogged in reflex.
Chris Bacon
!
“That was my son he just pinned.” His held out his hand. “Wally Olafsson. By the way, you look very familiar.”
“Roger Glover,” he said. “I don’t believe we’ve met before.” But something flitted across his eyes.
“You didn’t, by any chance, do a post-doc at Harvard, did you?”
“Nope.”
“ … or date a girl named Wendy?”
“Sorry, wrong guy.” Glover made a move to get away.
Too young—tight smooth face, no wrinkles, no eye pouches, no paunch overhanging his belt, no thinning hair or receding forehead. None of the assaults of time and gravity that made Wally look his fifty-seven years.
But Mother of God! It was uncanny—like looking through a tear in the time-space continuum.
The wrong guy, Wally told himself.
(Those eyes. Something about those eyes.)
wrong guy
coincidence
“Guess not.” Wally apologized. “Your son knows some good moves. Hell of a wrestler. Congratulations.” He mumbled, feeling foolish.
Glover nodded and turned his back.
But Wally was transfixed, his mind still stuck on details long forgotten. Like stumbling on your first Little League glove decades later, amazing how it all comes back—the leathery smell, the way the shiny rawhide ends curled, the company logo magically incised on the wrist strap, your name proudly lettered in ballpoint. Little lost oddities that rush into place at first
glimpse. The same with faces. The set of the mouth, the widow’s peak, the way the nostrils flare, the slightly asymmetrical eyebrows.
Coincidence
, he told himself.
(The eyes.)
Just a resemblance
.
As Glover moved off with his son, Wally could not suppress a dumb impulse. “Hey, Chris!” he shouted.
The man did not flinch or even peer over his shoulder.
A childish test, and the guy had passed, leaving Wally wondering what he would have done had the man looked back.
Imperfect memory, Wally told himself, born out of nostalgia and an aging mind. And I made a thundering asshole out of myself to boot.
Later that evening after he had driven Todd back to his mother’s place and returned home, Wally lay in bed and replayed the encounter over in his head, fixing as best he could the look that flitted across Roger Glover’s eyes at the moment he saw Wally.
Yes, it was fast and nearly imperceptible, but for one split instant Wally would have sworn that what he saw in Roger Glover’s eyes was recognition.
“He recognized me.”
“How do you know?”
“I introduced myself as Roger Glover, but he called me Chris as I walked away. He didn’t believe me.”
Laura’s expression froze. “What did you do?”
“Nothing. I kept walking.”
“Then he’ll conclude it’s a case of mistaken identity.”
“Let’s hope.”
They had considered plastic surgery, but back then his face was too recognizable to risk walking into a surgeon’s office. Nor could he leave the country with their photographs at every immigration checkpoint. So he had dyed his hair, grown a beard, and wore tinted contact lenses which combined with the initial rejuvenation created a sufficient cover until Brett reached the age to ask questions. By then they had moved to Eau Claire where nobody knew their faces. Chris kept the beard and hair, but put away the tinted contacts.
What Chris had not counted on was stumbling into somebody from his deep past. And, yet, it was a possibility that had sat in the back of their minds for thirteen years.
He stood at the mirror touching up his beard and sideburns with whitening makeup. Laura was in her nightgown ready for bed, her face glistening with her nightly cold cream. “Besides, you look half your age even with the gray.”
“That’s what bothers me.” In college his hair was sandy, not black, and he didn’t have a beard.
“Honey, it’s been thirty years. I can barely remember what my roommate looked like from college, let alone some guy downstairs,” Laura said. “Christopher Bacon is dead, so is Wendy.”
After thirteen years that was the virtual truth.
All they had wanted was to become normal people again—to blend into the scenery, to remake themselves so nobody thought twice. So, early on they had engaged in regular psychodramas, playing out the deaths of their former selves until they were nearly convinced they had always been the Glovers. For hours on end, day after day, they recited their new names, dates of birth, and social security numbers like mantras, writing them out until they were second nature. They always addressed themselves as Roger and Laura, resorting to sneak tests until they had conditioned away all the old reflexes. They even took trips to Wichita and Duluth to visit the neighborhoods and schools of Roger and Laura. It was difficult, but like immigrants desperate to learn English, they eventually strip-mined their old identities until they fell for the artifice.
“I know that. But Wally Olafsson doesn’t,” Roger said. “I look more like I did in 1970 than 1988.”
Silence filled the room as they considered the risks.
“I’m not about to drop our lives and go into hiding again,” she said. “I’ll stop him first if he tries anything. I swear to God I will.”
Roger could feel the heat of her conviction. They had been wrongly convicted by the media of monstrous crimes, and nobody had risen to their defense. Nobody! Short of murder, Laura Glover would not allow Brett’s life to be upset. It was what a dozen years of meticulous fabrication and maternal love had produced—a good, happy life for their son and the protective instinct of a mother bear.
Roger folded his makeup kit. “Laura, Wally was an old friend.”
“So was Wendy Bacon,” she said, and snapped off the light.
The dark silence of the bedroom took Roger Glover back. Back before his wife was Laura Glover, mother of Brett Glover and owner of Laura’s Flower Shop on South Street in Eau Claire, and he was Roger Glover, co-owner.
BOOK: ELIXIR
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