F Paul Wilson - Novel 05 (14 page)

 
          
You
don't want to leave, but staying past the limit might be damaging to you and
your twin. Your brain waves are linked, more intimately than you or Dr. Siegal
ever could have imagined. So you will leave the way you came: through the
door. You want one last look at Sam's memoryscape.

 
          
You
drift into the shattered night that was once your sister's life. A deep,
unaccountable melancholy seeps through you.

 
          
What
happened here?

 
          
You
click on the Exit button.

 
          
The
more 1 learn about the fragility of memory, the less disturbed I am by the
innumerable distortions that occur, and more dumbfounded by the fact that we
can remember anything accurately at
all.

 
          
—
Random notes: Julia Gordon

1

 
          
Julie
pulled off the helmet. She looked at the monitor a few feet away, empty now
except for the words Session
Terminated. Please Name File for Saving.

 
          
The
cursor blinked patiently but Julie did not
—
could
not
—
move.

 
          
Sam's
bombed-out memoryscape had left her rattled, confused. The unimaginable
devastation
—
and the two memories she'd
been able to access
—
had only added to the
mystery. Why?

 
          
"Julie?"
A hand touched her shoulder, startling her. "Julie, are you all
right?"

 
          
Eathan.
She'd forgot about him, sitting here through it all, watching everything. She
turned to htm. His face was pale, stricken.

 
          
"You
saw?"

 
          
He
nodded. "It looks ... terrible. Does everyone's
—
what do you call it
—
mindscape
—
?"

 
          
"Memoryscape."

 
          
"Do
they all look like that?"

 
          
"No.
Sam has the Hiroshima of memoryscapes. I'm not too sure what I'll be able to
find ... or see."

 
          
"You're
upset."

 
          
Julie
sighed. "I suppose I am. But I'm also intrigued, and confused: Why
these
memories? What makes them so damn important?"

 
          
She
looked away.

 
          
"You
never saw yourself fighting with your sister. I'm afraid that's something that
happened quite often."

 
          
"Yeah,
I know that. But
—
"

 
          
"It's
what you said to Sam that concerns you, isn't it?"

 
          
Julie
turned to her uncle. He was like a rock. She wondered why Sam ever needed a
shrink with someone like Eathan to lean on. With all his concern and unflagging
support, he was more than an uncle.

 
          
She
nodded. "It certainly wasn't great hearing myself say 'I'm going to kill
you' to my sister. Kind of unsettling to stumble upon that as one of her key
memories.
And there
was something different about it. That
statue_____
I don't
remember that."

 
          
"I
don't recall what started the
fight, but I remember
the incident well.
Samantha smashed
your microscope
on the floor
—
that's
why you were so mad."

 
          
"Of
course!" It all rushed back in a flash. Julie had accidentally stepped on
a collage Sam had been making and refused to apologize because Sam had left it
in the middle of the floor. Retaliations escalated, culminating in the smashing
of Julie's microscope. "Then why isn't the microscope in the memory?"

 
          
"I'm
afraid that's your area of expertise. I can tell you with fair certainty that
the statue was Cellini's Perseus. And I can assure you without a doubt that we
never owned one."

           
"Then what
—
?"

 
          
"Well,
you tried," he said, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.
"It was a brave attempt, but now I think it's time to let the medical
experts take over."

 
          
Julie
shook her head. "I've only just started, Eathan. There's so much to be
learned in there
—
about Sam, about what happened
to her. You just saw her with that man who's supposed to be a terrorist. God,
watching it I was scared for her."

 
          
"But
what is this going to do for Sam?"

 
          
She
took a breath. "I don't know. I've only scratched the surface in there.
I'd planned on going in, learning what I needed, and getting out.
One-two-three. But now ... well, you saw what it's like in there. This is going
to take a long time."

 
          
A
knock on the door. Eathan said,
"Oui?"

 
          
A
nurse entered carrying a dozen crimson roses in a vase.

 
          
"Ces
fleurs sont pour Mademoiselle
Samantha."

 
          
She
placed them on the nightstand and left.

 
          
"For
Sam?" Julie said. "From you?"

 
          
Eathan
shook his head, his expression grave. "Not from me. Is there a card?"

 
          
Julie
spotted a corner of white among the dark green of the stems and plucked the
card from the thorns. A chill crept over her as she read it aloud.

 
          
'"For
my Sammi. Don't worry. I won't let them hurt you.'"

 
          
"No
name?" Eathan said.

 
          
She
flipped the card over. No name. She shook her head.

 
          
Eathan
shot to his feet. "It's from O'Donnell. Damn him! Why can't he leave her
alone!"

 
          
"You
don't know that," Julie said, alarmed by his reaction.

 
          
"No,
you're right," he said, calming. "But who else would send her roses
with a message that sounds like a warning."

 
          
"To
us?"

 
          
"Doesn't
that sound like a threat?"

 
          
Julie
had to admit it did.

 
          
A
high-pitched beep sounded behind her. She glanced around at the equipment
monitoring Samantha, but everything was fine. She checked the monitor and saw
that a small window opened in the corner of the screen showing a camera icon.

 
          
Julie
swung around in her chair.

           
"What's that?" Eathan
said.

 
          
"It's
Dr. Siegal. He wants to talk."

 
          
"Your
mentor. I hope he advises you to stop this. Meanwhile, I'm going to make some
calls
—
see if I can find out who
sent these. Wait for me. We'll have something to eat later."

 
          
"Sounds
good," Julie said, but didn't mean it. The experience in Sam's
memoryscape and the mysterious roses had stolen her appetite.

 
          
As
Eathan slipped out, Julie used the mouse to click on the icon. Dr. Siegal's
troubled face filled the screen.

 
          
"Julie
... can you see me?"

 
          
"Yes
—
fine."

 
          
He
smiled uncertainly. "Well, I can't see
you,
of course. You don't
have a camera feed there, do you?"

 
          
"No,
I didn't think it was important." She hesitated, staring at his tense
features. "Well, what do you think?"

 
          
Dr.
Siegal looked around, as if uncomfortable with being seen.

 
          
"It's
just as I warned you. You are in those memories. You are part of that
memoryscape and whatever wrought such havoc in her may somehow pass to
you."

 
          
Julie
shook her head. "I disagree. Sure, I'm in those memories but
—
"

 
          
"Julie,
you're being pigheaded again. This is not a sound procedure, if you were a
heart surgeon you wouldn't operate on your own brother or sister."

 
          
She
wanted to shout at him but took a breath instead. She wanted to discuss what
she saw, not defend her actions. Probably a good thing Dr. S. couldn't see her
exasperation. If she really cared for anyone in this world it was Dr. Siegal.
He and Eathan, the twin rocks of her life.

 
          
Two
men guiding her
—
pretty funny, she thought,
considering her batting average with men.

 
          
"I
would if I was the only surgeon with sufficient experience in the needed
procedure. And"
—
she leaned close to the monitor
—
"I
am
the most experienced."

 
          
Dr.
S. rubbed his chin. He looked up to the camera. "This won't leave you
unaffected, Julie."

 
          
"I
know that."

 
          
"There
could be transference, shock, any number of effects on you. Your memoryscape
could wind up as burned out as Sam's."

 
          
"Doubtful.
But life is full of risks."

 
          
"I
could still order you to stop."

 
          
"But
you won't."

 
          
She
hoped.

 
          
The
risks he had mentioned were real. Julie knew that now, she accepted that. But
this was too incredible to back away from. A single venture into Sam's ruined
memoryscape was not enough. This was terra incognita, a whole new experience.
The things she could learn in there
—
and
help Sam, too, of course.

 
          
She
watched Dr. Siegal's face as he considered his reply.

 
          
I'm
hooked
—
and
so is
he.

 
          
"Very
well," he said softly. "But at the first sign of physical distress
from you, you're out."

 
          
"Agreed.
Now, there are a couple of things I want to discuss."

 
          
"Go
on."

 
          
"The
point of view in Sam's memoryscape ... I mean, you saw it. One moment it's the
usual
—
like watching a movie. The
next, I became her.... I saw the event through her eyes, I
—
"

 
          
Julie
hesitated.

 
          
"Yes?"

 
          
Julie
had almost let slip about feeling things, how it was more than a mental movie
she was watching, that she
felt
whatever her sister felt.

 
          
But
he'd pull the plug immediately if he knew that.

 
          
"I
don't understand how I'm seeing the memories from her perspective."

 
          
"Yes,
that's unexpected. But I think that's the genetic link between you two."