Facing the World (22 page)

‘It can’t be Julia. How could Milly recognize her after seeing her last as a schoolgirl? It’s vicious nonsense. Poor Eric was very upset. She chooses her time well does Milly. He went off convinced that Gwilym and I have known all along, that we kept Julia’s
whereabouts
from him.’

‘What will you do?’

Valmai shrugged. ‘Go and find him? Make him tell us the truth? It’s time all this came to an end.’

Sally shook her head. ‘No, not me. I’m sorry, Valmai but I want nothing more to do with Rhys and his secrets.’

‘If only Gwilym was mobile.’ She sighed as she stood to leave. ‘I’ll have to go on my own.’

‘You could take Eric?’

‘I’ll ask. Oh, Sally, love, there are many times when I miss having Gwilym to support me and this is one of them.’

Eric was at the mill. Winter was warning of darker and colder days to come. The trees were skeletal and the sound of their branches touching was a harsh sound compared with the months when leaves softened their caress. He had made a fire, a brave attempt to brighten the day and his mood. If Milly was right, Julia had been near enough to visit all these years. He could understand why she couldn’t come when she was small, but surely she must have been curious? Why hadn’t she come to find him? Ask what had happened? Why had she never been in touch? Her mother must have told her stories that had made him into a villain.

‘Eric? Any taters? I’ve got some biscuits.’

‘Go away, Jimmy, your father told you to stay away from me.’

‘He didn’t mean it, he just likes arguing. Want a biscuit? Custard creams and some ginger nuts.’

‘Sorry, Jimmy. I have to go.’ He kicked the ashes apart and reached down to get a can of water he always left nearby and drenched the remains of the fire. Leaving Jimmy still offering the bag of biscuits, he walked away to go and see Sally.

‘All right, go! I don’t care. I’m off to see Rick and Amy.’ Red-faced with hurt and disappointment, convinced that no one in the whole world cared for him, Jimmy ran along the path to Mill Road and knocked furiously on the door of the Waterstones’ house.

‘Can I come in? I’m freezing. I’ve got some biscuits, ginger nuts, they’re my favourites. I saved some for you though.’

Sally opened the door and stood aside for Eric to enter. ‘Come and sit close to the fire. There’s a pot of tea just made and I’ll make us some toast.’

‘You’ve heard?’ he asked.

‘D’you think it really was Julia who Milly saw? Is she the one Rhys left Sadie and me for?’

‘If it was Julia, she would be twenty-six. Old enough to come and find me.’

‘You can’t think that. You don’t know what her mother told her about you. She might have told her you were – she might have told her you were dead.’

‘Dead, or so evil she had to be saved from me?’

‘Valmai wants to go and find Rhys and find out for certain. I do think it’s unlikely though. There’s no address but it’s the same area so they should be found. Will you go with her?’

‘Best not. Until I know why she hasn’t tried to find me I’d better stay away. If it’s true, there’s a daughter too. A granddaughter I’ll probably never know. I don’t want to risk her walking away again. I’ll wait until Valmai talks to them. She and Gwilym are good friends. They understood my outburst when Milly dropped her bombshell.’

Gwilym struggled with the leather fastening and tested his weight on the carved leg. He had been making a rocking horse and that had made it easier to disguise the leg as he carved it and also explained the order for quality leather he had added to what he had needed for saddle and bridle and reins. He walked around the shed using both sticks. He had to get around better than in the chair. Even with the care taken to design the work area there were still places he needed help to reach.

He was concentrating so deeply on the rhythm and balance of walking that he didn’t hear Valmai come in.

‘Gwilym!’ she gasped. And he pushed himself back to the bench and sat down, the artificial leg sticking out awkwardly in front of him.

‘Don’t say anything. Just don’t say anything,’ he muttered. ‘I’ve tried but it isn’t going to work.’

‘But it seems fine.’

‘It was only for moving about in the shed, not for going out,’ he said firmly. ‘Don’t think I’ll be walking around because I won’t.’

‘Let me see what you can do. Please, Gwilym,’ she added, as he turned his head away.

‘Tomorrow,’ he replied.

‘Always tomorrow,’ she sighed. She walked on down the path and went into the kitchen. Her eyes were shining with hope. It was a stupid idea to make himself a leg when he could be fitted with a professional, custom-made limb and have help learning to cope with it. But perhaps it was really going to happen. She was humming cheerfully when she filled the kettle and put the potatoes on to boil.

Gwilym stared at the door for a long time after she had gone. He was in a prison but one to which he held the key. If only he were brave enough to turn it.

The meal was ready to serve and still Gwilym hadn’t appeared. Valmai looked up at the shed where the light still shone. He must have been finishing off something. He wasn’t one to leave a job unfinished. Each stage had to be completed before he’d put the work aside. She slipped on a coat and walked up.

There was no sound from inside and she opened the door and saw that his chair was empty. She frowned. Surely he hadn’t stepped outside to try out the amateur leg? It wouldn’t be safe. There was a slight frost and he could so easily slip. Waving the torch around, calling his name, she went along the path towards the pavement but there was no sign of him.

Netta heard her calling and came out. ‘What’s up, Valmai? Don’t tell me your Gwilym’s gone walkabout?’ she joked.

‘Yes, he has. He made himself a stupid wooden leg and he’s gone out. Where can he be? He can’t have gone far.’

‘I’ll get a torch and go along the road a bit. You go back and look around the shed. He might have just stepped outside.’

‘He’d have heard me calling.’

‘Go anyway. Start at the beginning and I’ll go along the road.’

He was behind the shed, lying on the ground, his good leg twisted underneath him, his face, in the light of the trembling torch, like that of a very old man.

‘Netta!’ she called. ‘Go to the phone box and ring for an
ambulance
. Hurry!’

WITH GWILYM IN
hospital, thoughts of finding Rhys were pushed aside. Valmai visited him daily and continued to work the usual hours at the hotel. She was frightened at the damage he had done to his healthy leg but also hopeful that after this stupidity he would finally accept the need for a properly fitted false limb.

Sally called at the hospital too and sometimes brought Sadie to wave to her grandfather through the window. His bedside table was always covered with treats and most of these he passed on to Eric when he came.

For Eric the delay in searching for his daughter was painful but he had promised Valmai he wouldn’t go on his own. To find the money to travel there and stay a night or two, which is what he hoped to do, would have meant giving up his room for a week. ‘Sleeping at the mill in December is not allowed,’ Valmai had warned. ‘If you try, I’ll tell the police you’re a vagrant and need locking up!’

He smiled, knowing she was joking but he agreed to wait.

Valmai knew she should offer him a room with her and Gwilym, even if only for the winter months, but with only two bedrooms and one large living room, it wouldn’t have been very convenient and Eric would have regretted the loss of his privacy. The second bedroom was still for Rhys.

David seemed amused by the latest rumours. He laughed at the story of Rhys and Eric’s daughter being together to his mother and people he met, but to Sally he showed nothing but sympathy. He visited her often, taking small gifts for Sadie and sometimes calling and suggesting a walk. He put Sadie on his shoulders and they spent time in the park and walking through the woods, where he
would point out where various animals lived and invent stories about their lives.

Sadie greeted him with excitement and Sally too began to feel a warmth towards him she hadn’t expected. With Christmas almost upon them, they went shopping and bought a few presents, laughing as they hid from each other the surprises that would be revealed on Christmas Day. He waited outside a bookshop while Sally went in to buy something for Sadie and Mrs Gorse, and also outside the men’s clothing shop, where Rick worked, to buy a gift for him.

David often put an arm around her shoulders as they crossed a road or when he shepherded them into yet another shop. It seemed natural, and she didn’t edge away from his occasional embrace. It was the season that made the difference, she decided. There was a willingness to share, a need to belong and the warmth that was Christmas changed people for the better. Every day was filled with moments of happiness. Strangers shared their plans and the shops were crowded with people who smiled more readily. There was an unusual politeness.

It was this mood, this excitement, she mused, that had made the difference in the way she felt about David, a happiness in sharing that she hadn’t known for a very long time. Everything was fun and for an hour or two Sally could forget the hurt she suffered by Rhys’s mysterious behaviour and revel in the joy of the season and friends with whom to share it. She enjoyed making plans, preparing for guests, cooking, buying party clothes for herself and Sadie. Money, she admitted to David, made a big difference.

They went back to the house in School Lane loaded with parcels one afternoon and as Sally took off her coat and filled the kettle, David ran upstairs with the parcels. As he walked slowly back down again he looked serious.

‘I’ve enjoyed today, Sally love. I want more days like this; you, Sadie and me.’ He looked at her, assessing her mood, then moved towards her and put his arms around her. ‘Tell me you feel the same. We’ve both been lonely too long. You know I love you and little Sadie. I know we can be happy together now Rhys is out of your life and unable to ruin things ever again.’

His arms felt so comforting, the words touching her heart, and when he mentioned Rhys she tried not to feel anything but
indifference. His kiss warmed her and the need for this closeness was strong. Then Sadie called, insisting she was ‘hungry for a cake’, and the mood faded, although the look in David’s eyes didn’t change. He kissed her again lightly then went to see what the shopping bags offered for the hungry little girl. ‘Doughnut or currant cake?’ he asked.

‘Yes, please, David. Both!’ Sadie said with a laugh.

Sally’s mind was in turmoil as a picture of Rhys came and went, being replaced by the smiling face of David. During these terrible months he was always there when she needed him and asked nothing in return. She wondered if she would – could – forget Rhys and accept David. Something inside her at that moment as she watched her daughter laughing, looking up at him, grew in strength and she thought she might.

Eric still felt uneasy spending time with Jimmy but he didn’t want the boy to think he no longer had a friend. He knew Jimmy was
unsettled
and guessed he was likely to run away again if things became intolerable in the Prosser household. He wanted to keep an eye on him to make sure that if he did, he’d be there and able to help.

He was sitting in the workshop one afternoon finishing a rocking horse Gwilym was making. It was a long job and he did some of the work every day in between other smaller pieces. Jimmy talked about a book he was reading about a boy who had an adventure travelling, and working when he needed money. ‘He used a compass,’ he said. ‘How does that help?’

Eric explained about following a course and he also promised to get him one. ‘You’ll enjoy the book even more if you can see the way he’s travelling,’ he said, ‘and you follow his route on a map.’

‘So if he wanted to go from here to the seaside, he’d go south?’

Eric laughed. ‘You wouldn’t need a compass for that. From here to the seaside you could catch a bus and be home for supper!’

‘It must be a long way. I’ve never been there,’ he surprised him by saying.

Amy and Rick had heard the latest on the Rhys saga and they called on Sally one evening. As Valmai wasn’t free to go, they offered to take Sally and Eric to Bristol.

‘We won’t intrude,’ Rick promised, ‘we’ll just drop you off where you want to be and pick you up later.’

‘It isn’t such a great favour,’ Amy admitted. ‘I’m longing for the excuse to visit more shops. This is our first Christmas and Mummy isn’t coming. She’s going to Bournemouth to stay with cousin Godfrey.’

‘Three cheers for cousin Godfrey,’ Rick said. ‘We’re going to have the best Christmas ever. Breakfast in bed, a long walk in the morning, followed by a late lunch, then a party for friends on Boxing Day to finish off the turkey.’

‘We’ve decorated the whole house in a way that will horrify my mother,’ Amy added. ‘Using every colour and shade known to man, streamers and balloons and more glitter than you’ve ever seen in your life.’

When they were leaving, Amy told her friend that they were happier than they’d ever imagined. ‘Mummy caused a few problems at the beginning, insisting on us following her advice. Now, half the fun is learning to outwit her. Wicked, isn’t it?’

‘We love her of course,’ Rick added quickly, ‘and we’d never
deliberately
hurt her feelings, but we need to make her see that our ways are different from hers.’

‘She hasn’t visited for a while. There was her illness and hospital, the convalescence in Bournemouth with cousin Godfrey. Since then we’ve had to visit her. When she does come she’ll be surprised at the changes we’ve already made to her carefully designed decor. Cheerful blue instead of the drab grey she ordered for the bathroom and the kitchen is now a cheerful yellow. The drab curtains too have been put aside and new ones chosen. Poor Mum, she will insist that she knows best.’

‘But she’ll soon see that the house is ours, Amy’s and mine, and we want everything to represent our taste, not chosen from the books on design she’d buried herself in for months.’

David’s mother loved Christmas and although there would be only the two of them and David would be out for most of the day, she decided to decorate a tree and put up some coloured lights. The
trimmings
, as she called them, were stored in the loft and, impatient once she had made up her mind, she was unable to wait for David to come home so struggled in with the ladder and went up herself.

There was no light up there and with the aid of a torch she searched the assorted boxes until she found the lights and baubles to hang on the tree. Now she needed the artificial tree. It was as she pulled aside some old mats and a chair with a broken seat that she found David’s treasure. She gasped with delight. He was always buying antiques. Perhaps these were for her Christmas present. He rarely bought something new, always something old and beautiful.

She pushed the tree down on to the landing, carefully carried down the box of fragile baubles then went back and brought down the picture and the silver vase. She spent a happy couple of hours cleaning them, then put them back, carefully rewrapped, so David’s surprise wouldn’t be spoilt.

When he came home, David was alarmed when he saw the tree dressed in the bright decorations. ‘Mam! Have you been up in the loft? You shouldn’t do things like that. Why didn’t you wait for me?’

‘I remembered where they were, I didn’t have to search,’ she said, hoping he wouldn’t notice the difference in the way the secret gifts had been wrapped. ‘It didn’t take more than a minute or two.’

Later, David made the excuse of going up and making sure there were no more trimmings they could use and he was relieved to see the picture and bowl still wrapped and in the same place as he’d left them.

Sally arranged a day when she and Eric would go to Bristol and one week before Christmas, on Monday 18th, they went. Sally directed them to the place where she had seen Rhys with the woman who, in the unlikely event of Milly being right, was Eric’s daughter. Amy and Rick waited in the car when they walked up the steps and knocked at the door. There was no reply and going around to the back they knocked again but no one came. The thin curtains were drawn but no light showed. The place looked deserted.

Hiding the disappointment they all felt, they got back in the car and went to spend a few hours enjoying the shops. Sadie loved the displays and shouted in excitement as they went into each new store. Rick carried her part of the time as, from her pushchair, down among shopping bags and people’s knees, she couldn’t see what was going on and protested loudly to let them know.

Before they left to drive home, Rick took them back to the house
where Rhys had apparently lived and Eric walked around again to find nothing had changed. The place looked abandoned. ‘They might be away for Christmas,’ Eric said. ‘I’ll have to be patient until the New Year.’

‘Sorry, Eric, I should have faced them when I came first instead of running away.’

‘Don’t worry. After so long, what’s another few days?’

‘Look, we aren’t in a hurry to get home, shall we go somewhere and eat?’ Rick suggested. ‘Sadie will sleep in the car going home if she’s tired and we can call it a pre-Christmas treat.’

They chose a small restaurant and it was almost ten o’clock when they reached home. Sally, carrying her shopping with a sleeping Sadie over her shoulder, opened the front door and stood to wave as Eric, Amy and Rick drove away. Then a figure materialized a few feet away.

‘Please, Sally, can I come in?’ Rhys asked.

Sally threw the shopping bags inside, went in after them and without a word, closed the door.

She knew that was wrong. She should have allowed him in and given him the chance to tell her about the woman. If it was Eric’s daughter he needed to know. She had let Eric down again by
shutting
the door against Rhys. She put Sadie down and went outside, but there was no sign of him. Why had she acted so selfishly? Why hadn’t she thought about Eric before slamming the door?

Jimmy was on his bed, lying on his front, propped up on his elbows with his hands over his ears. Even with his hands pressed tightly as he could, he could still hear them arguing. His father’s low rumbling voice in counterpoint to the high-pitched shrieking of his mother’s. The book in front of him was one lent to him by Rick and it was an interesting story, but the shouting from the kitchen made it
impossible
to concentrate. If only he had somewhere to go he’d be out of here as fast as his feet could take him.

Eric was no longer his friend. Recently he’d often refused to go for a walk with him, even when he wanted to show him where the badgers had run, leaving tufts of their hair on the wire fencing. Nobody likes me, he thought glumly. Dad’s right and I’m useless. It was only eight o’clock but, still fully dressed, he slid between the
sheets. He pressed his head into the pillow and brought another over his other ear but still the noise went on. Then there was a sudden and louder sound. Plates smashed, and what sounded like a table being overturned. He dug deeper into the covers and closed his eyes tight as though that could help to obliterate the sounds from below.

Then there was silence that was as unnerving as the noise and he got out of bed and went on to the landing. The voices were still to be heard but quieter now. His mother’s voice was the easiest to hear and she was telling his father to go.

‘I’m not going anywhere!’ Walter raised his voice again. ‘If anyone leaves it’s going to be you and you can take that useless boy with you.’ Jimmy heard the back door open and slam closed and the sound of his mother’s slippered feet running down the path.

He didn’t wait to hear any more. He grabbed his clothes, the
blankets
packed ready for when he had to leave, and when he heard his father go into the living room and turn on the television very loud he went cautiously down, stole the contents of his mother’s purse, then filled a bag with food and a bottle of pop and left the house,
staggering
under his load.

He was surprised at how cold it was. He’d been under the bed covers fully dressed and the contrast hit him with a shock. Frost sparked on the fences and on patches of damp on the road. He wondered where his mam had gone. Why hadn’t she waited for him, he wondered sadly. Forgot I was there, like she usually does when she and Dad argue.