Fated (25 page)

Millie
leaned forward. “And how are you liking New York so far?” She glanced at Caden
with a wry smile on her face and then turned back to me. “Is Caden a good
boss?”

I
laughed, unable to resist her warmth and good humor. “New York’s a great city.
As for Caden, as long as he keeps his three a.m. calls to a minimum, he’s a
pretty good boss.”

Millie
raised an eyebrow, looking at Caden censoriously. “You call Lauren at three
o’clock in the morning? What could you possibly need at that time of night?”

Caden
smiled faintly as he glanced at me. “You’d be surprised by what I need at that
time of night.”

I
instantly flushed, regretting my flip words. The last thing I expected was for
Caden to allude to our relationship and what exactly he wanted from me so late
at night. My embarrassment deepened when Millie seemed delighted by the
innuendo in Caden’s reply.

“Are
your plans to stay in New York permanently?”

I
paused before answering Millie. Despite being satisfied with the status of my relationship
with Caden, everything would change once I no longer worked for him. We would
stop being convenient, and I wasn’t sure if it was smart to prolong our
relationship. Even though I told myself repeatedly that I wanted nothing more
from Caden than what he was currently giving me, I knew the longer we stayed
together, the more attached I was going to get. And I had no plans on becoming
permanently attached. As a result, I was giving serious consideration to
returning to Chicago.

“I’m
not sure. New York has been great, but Chicago’s my home and I miss it. I might
move back after Macie returns from her trip.” I wanted to laugh at my excuse of
missing Chicago. The last thing Chicago represented to me was home, but it was
easy since it was somewhere I already knew.

Caden
tensed beside me, and I made a concerted effort to not look at him. I had
wanted to answer Millie’s question honestly, but I shouldn’t have told him in
this way. I expected he would be disappointed, but I was sure he wouldn’t have
any trouble finding a replacement. There were dozens of Lissas and Michelles
out there eager to take my place. I embraced the sharp pain that thought
brought. I had to get used to the idea since we only had a month left together.

Unfortunately,
Caden wasn’t about to let the subject drop. “You didn’t tell me you were
thinking of leaving.” His voice was steady, but I heard the edge of steel in
it.

I
couldn’t avoid looking at him with his direct comment, and I was surprised by
how stormy his eyes were when I turned to him. “I’m not sure yet. Nothing’s
definite, but it’s a possibility.”

His
lips thinned, but I was saved from his response by Michael’s return. He seemed
oblivious to the sudden tension in the room, but I couldn’t miss the
speculative gleam in Millie’s eyes.

I
took a sip of the cool wine, grateful for something to do besides look at
Caden’s accusing eyes.

“So
what are we talking about?” Michael said as he settled next to Millie.

“Lauren
was just telling us that she might be leaving New York after Macie comes back,”
Millie told her husband, but she was watching Caden as she spoke.

Michael
turned to me with a look of surprise on his face. “I thought you were planning
to stay in New York permanently.”

I
shifted uncomfortably, aware of everyone’s eyes on me, including Caden’s. “I
haven’t decided on anything yet. I’m just considering my options.”

I
saw Caden’s hand tighten on his glass of scotch but I didn’t look up at him.
Fortunately, Millie, ever the gracious hostess, seemed to notice my distress
and deftly changed the subject.

“Caden
tells me that you met Macie at DePaul University. What did you study there?”
she asked.

“I
was a psychology major. Although I haven’t really put my degree to much use.”

“I
disagree,” Caden said smoothly, looking at me with an enigmatic expression.
“I’d say you’ve put it to good use.” He turned to Michael and Millie. “Lauren
has a way of turning people inside out and using their confusion to her
advantage. I’d say that’s definitely putting her degree to good use.”

Michael
frowned and Millie gasped at Caden’s assessment. “Caden! That’s no way to talk
about Lauren!”

I
forced a smile, trying to hide my rising anger. “I think Caden’s just annoyed
that I don’t give in to him as easily as he would like.”

Caden’s
face was tight but I saw him make a concerted effort to relax his jaw. “I just
meant that she’s a skilled assistant. She knows how to handle the various
people she has to deal with on a daily basis.”

Millie
seemed mollified by his explanation, but I didn’t miss the way Michael was studying
Caden. I was relieved when Millie announced it was time for lunch. I was trying
to ignore Caden, but it was impossible when he pulled me back from entering the
dining room.

“When
the hell were you going to tell me that you were leaving?”

“Shh!”
Caden had pulled me into a corner, hidden from view, but his harsh voice
carried. “Michael and Millie will hear you!”

“I
don’t give a damn!” Caden said, but his voice was noticeably quieter. “Answer
me.”

I
made a sound of frustration. “I don’t know for sure that I’m leaving. I never
said I was staying forever.”

Caden’s
eyes were dark as he grabbed my arm. “Why would you leave?”

I
hadn’t come today to be humiliated in front of Michael and Millie, nor
interrogated by Caden, and I pulled my arm out of his grasp. “Why would I
stay?”

Caden
grabbed me again, and before I could protest, he crushed me to him and kissed
me fiercely. I pushed at his shoulders, trying to get him to release me, but he
was relentless in his sensual assault. My traitorous body began to respond, and
I moaned in frustration even as I opened my mouth, arching against him. I felt
a rush of anger and arousal stirring inside me.

When
he finally ripped his mouth from mine, the harsh lines of his face told me he
was feeling the same confusing mixture of emotions. “Isn’t that reason enough
to stay?” he asked, his voice low and rough.

We
were both breathing heavily, and I stared into his blazing eyes, knowing I was
in danger. I had been fooling myself these past few weeks. I needed to get away
from Caden before I relinquished all my power to him. I realized in that moment
that loving him was already a foregone conclusion, despite my earlier
apprehension that I was incapable of love. Caden had brought out emotions in me
that were both unfamiliar and exhilarating, yet those feelings weren’t my real
fear. My real fear was that he would love me back. And then I would really lose
all control.

“Sex
isn’t a reason to stay,” I said, relieved that my voice was steady. “Can we talk
about this later? It’s rude to keep Michael and Millie waiting.”

I
walked away without waiting for a response. Millie and Michael were already
seated at the table, and I flushed a deeper red as they looked up at me, their
attempts to keep their expressions bland obvious. I heard Caden’s footsteps
behind me but didn’t turn around, instead pasting a smile on my face.

Michael
stood as I walked closer, graciously pulling my chair out for me. Caden sat
across from me without a word, although his gaze was hot enough to burn holes
through me.

Lunch
was delicious, but I barely tasted it as I tried to keep up a polite façade.
Millie and Michael made an effort to keep the mood light, and I participated in
the charade, but Caden made no attempt as he threw back glass after glass of
scotch, barely touching his food. I declined any more wine because the last
thing I wanted was to be stuck at their house because neither of us was sober
enough to drive.

“Have
you found a replacement for Joseph yet?” Michael asked Caden. I tensed at his
question, unsure if Michael knew what had transpired.

“No.”
Caden’s answers to their questions throughout lunch had been short and clipped,
and I was barely able to control my irritation at his surliness.

“I never
liked him,” Millie said, wrinkling her nose. “He’s too nervous to be
comfortable around.”

Caden
made no further comment, so Millie changed the subject to their last vacation
in Europe. She had asked me a few personal questions at the start of lunch, and
I had answered them politely, but she soon realized that to have any
conversation of depth, she was better off talking about her and Michael’s life.
I participated in the conversation enthusiastically when it centered around
them.

I
was relieved when lunch was over and declined their invitation to stay longer.
The past two hours had been pure torture, and I was eager to escape their
questioning eyes.

I
held out my hands for the keys to the rental car. “I’ll drive.”

I
expected Caden to protest, but he seemed to realize he was in no state to drive
and handed them over without a word. His expression grew irritated when Michael
approached him with a serious look on his face.

“Caden,
can I talk to you in private for a few moments?”

Caden’s
lips thinned, but he followed Michael and they soon disappeared from view. I
shifted on my feet nervously as I stood in the foyer with Millie.

“Are
you okay?” Millie had a concerned look on her face, and I knew that my attempts
to hide the dissension between Caden and I had been unsuccessful.

“I’m
fine,” I said with what I hoped was a convincing smile. “Caden and I just had a
small disagreement. I’m sorry that it ruined lunch.”

“Don’t
worry about that!” she exclaimed, waving her hands in dismissal. “I’m just so
happy to have finally met you.” She hesitated before continuing, and then got a
fierce look on her face. “Don’t give up on Caden. I know that he can seem
insensitive sometimes, cold even, but it’s usually the softest hearts that have
the hardest shells.”

I
shook my head, not wanting Millie to get the wrong idea. She had been nothing
but kind and sweet to me, and I didn’t want to give her false hopes. “Caden and
I aren’t together. Not in the way you think we are.”

Millie
grasped my hands, looking at me intently. “I’ve never heard Caden speak about
any woman to us before, let alone bring her over to our house. He’s so
terrified of repeating the past, of becoming like his father, that he’s not
willing to take a chance on love. But I see the way he looks at you, the way he
talks about you. Lauren, it’s not Caden pushing you away, it’s his fear. Don’t
let it ruin your chance at happiness. You have to be the strong one.”

I
didn’t have a chance to respond because Michael and Caden walked back into the
foyer. I pulled my hands out of Millie’s grasp as I watched their approach.
Caden’s face was tight with anger, and it made me dread the ride back home even
more.

Michael
looked down at me kindly, and then kissed me on the cheek. “Lauren, it was a
pleasure having you over. You must come again soon.”

“Yes,
you must!” Millie chimed in as she embraced me. I tried to hide my awkwardness
as I hugged her back. I watched as Caden accepted her embrace, but he barely
looked at Michael as he stalked out the front door. I smiled apologetically at
Michael, somehow feeling responsible for his behavior, and then followed Caden
to the car. We didn’t speak as I pulled out of their driveway, the tension so
thick that it made the inside of the car seem suffocating.

Caden
finally broke the silence, although his words made me wish he had never spoken.

“Is
this some sort of ploy?”

I
glanced at him with a frown before turning my attention back to the road. He
was staring straight ahead, his jaw clenched so tight that I saw a muscle
twitching. “What are you talking about?”

“Are
you trying to get me to profess my undying love to you and promise you that we
have a future together by threatening to leave?”

Pain
wasn’t strong enough of a word to describe the feeling that seared through me
at his mocking words. I seemed to have lost the ability to breathe and I
tightened my grip on the steering wheel until my knuckles hurt. I didn’t speak
for a few moments. I couldn’t even process my thoughts. Everything inside me
seemed to freeze and then in a rush everything dissolved until there was
nothing inside me except a big gaping hole of emptiness. To think that I had
been afraid of Caden loving me. It was so ludicrous that I almost burst out
laughing, and I wondered if I was going to become hysterical. Years of
experience took over and the emptiness was filled with icy control, and I
mentally pulled myself together.

I
thought of a dozen replies, but they would just be an emotional response, and
the rein on my emotions was now iron clad. So I answered practically.

“I’m
sure you understand that I won’t be giving two week’s notice. You’ll have to
find a replacement for me immediately because I won’t be in tomorrow.”

I
was proud that I sounded so calm, but I was unprepared for Caden to grab my
shoulder. I swerved, surprised by his sudden movement, and then looked at him
angrily when I regained control. “Are you crazy! You’re going to make me get
into an accident!”