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Authors: Piers Anthony

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BOOK: Five Portraits
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Finally Astrid's hands were free. “Thanks, matron!” she said, immediately ripping off the mask. She scrambled up and oriented on the troll.

But it was no longer necessary. The troll was clawing at his blasted face, totally incapacitated by the pain. Firenze was watching as his head cooled, ready to strike again if he had to.

“Firenze!” Astrid cried, running to him as she put her dark glasses back on.

“Aunt Astrid!”

Then they were hugging, awkwardly, because the driver's chair was in the way. “You're all right!” she said, relieved.

“He was going to do something mean to you,” Firenze said tearfully. “I heard him threaten to slit your throat.”

“He was,” she agreed, drawing away. “But you saved me by starting the bus. How did you ever manage to do that?”

“I—learned,” he said. “I guess I was lucky to make it work.”

“Learned?”

Then Fornax appeared. “Learning to drive a bus has no relevance to normal Xanthly activity,” she remarked. “Obviously it does not constitute an intervention. It was purely an exercise in theoretical information.”

“Yeah,” Firenze agreed. “And also learning about inertia magic that can throw people about. I guess maybe it distracted the troll.”

“Intriguing coincidence,” Astrid agreed, hugely relieved. So Fornax and Firenze, working together, had foiled the troll's machinations.

Astrid took hold of the suffering troll and hustled him to the door, and then on out. She pushed him away from the bus. “Be thankful we don't abuse you the way you were going to abuse us,” she said. Not that he would have noticed, given the state of his face.

Meanwhile the matron was seeing to the children, who were bruised and frightened but essentially all right. “Do you know the proper route?” Astrid asked, not looking at her directly.

“I do,” the matron said.

“Then you will guide the new driver.”

“New driver?”

Astrid indicated Firenze. “He's just learning, but I believe will be able to handle it.”

The matron decided not to inquire further.

Firenze operated the controls, Fornax hovering invisibly beside him. This time the bus did not lurch. It moved smoothly into a U-turn and headed back along the highway. It would go to the intersection and get back on the correct route.

The matron stood beside Astrid, no longer shunning her company. “Your boy certainly earned his passage,” she said. “We are lucky the two of you were traveling with us.”

“I'm not sure of that,” Astrid said. “The attack may have occurred because of us. I am taking him to be adopted by a good family, but we fear there are those who don't want that to happen.”

“Why would anyone go to such an ugly extreme to prevent an adoption? That doesn't make sense.”

Astrid was glad not to argue the case. “It does seem far-fetched,” she agreed.

“He's a good and talented boy.”

“He is.”

Then a child needed attention, and the matron went to take care of it. Astrid was left to mull the matter. Was a Demon trying to interfere with the adoption, so as to win a bet, or was it an unfortunate coincidence? She could not be sure, but had her suspicions.

“It's not coincidence,” Fornax said invisibly beside her. “Kidnapping and eating the children was just a cover for the real target: Firenze. We foiled it, but there may be similar efforts involving the other children. It's annoying.”

“It certainly is,” Astrid agreed.

The rest of the trip was routine. They reached the destination station, and the matron explained what had happened. “They were going to eat the children!” she said indignantly.

“It happens,” the troll administrator said. “Fortunately this young man acted to foil the plot. He has earned free passage on the trollway for any future trip.”

“I should hope so,” the matron said. Then she hustled the children off to their destination.

“And you, young man,” the administrator said to Firenze. “Should you be interested in employment on the Trollway when you grow up, it will be expedited. We appreciate the way you saved the bus.”

“I was glad to help,” Firenze said modestly. He knew when to keep his mouth shut.

Guided by Firenze's sense of direction, they walked to an unusual site: a sawmill. Boards and planks were neatly stacked, ready for use, but there was no sawdust. In the center was a man addressing a large log. He put his hand to it, and laser beams shot out, cutting the log into six slices. That explained why there was no sawdust: there was no saw.

Astrid approached the man. “May we talk?”

He glanced at her, and his pupils dilated. She had seen that effect before.

“Hello. I'm Laser.”

“I'm Astrid, and this is Firenze.”

“If you want boards or planks, we can make a deal. What do you have in trade?”

“Not that kind of a deal,” Astrid said.

“Just as well,” Laser said. “I'm married.”

“Yes. Firenze has a talent in some respects similar to yours: he can shoot fireworks from his head, just as you shoot lasers from your fingers. We thought you might be able to provide a good home for him.”

“Now that's interesting,” Laser said. “How did you know we were looking to adopt a child?”

“Word circulates. So I brought him to meet you.”

“Can you cut a log?” Laser asked Firenze.

“No. I could set fire to it.”

“That won't do. We don't like fires. We could use a useful talent, but yours won't do for handling lumber.” He turned to Astrid. “So no, we don't want to adopt him. He would not be a good match.”

Astrid suppressed her disappointment, which felt almost like relief. “You are surely right. Thank you for your consideration.” She took Firenze's hand and walked away.

They returned to the trollway station to await the next bus back. “I'm sorry I wasn't good enough,” Firenze said.

“You're good enough,” she said. “It just wasn't the right fit. I'm sorry I hauled you all the way out here for nothing.”

“I'm not.”

“But you were put in danger! It was a bad trip.”

“It was a good trip.”

She looked at him. “Are we on the same page?”

“I love traveling with you like this. If I get adopted I won't see you again.”

“I would visit you.”

“I'd rather be with you all the time.”

“Firenze, that's—”

“Let me make an observation, purely as an intellectual point,” Fornax said, appearing. “The children have to be adopted, and get their portraits painted with their new families. When that is accomplished, Xanth will be saved. There's nothing in that prophecy that says they have to be adopted
out
. They could be adopted
in
.”

“Adopted in?” Astrid asked blankly.

“You could adopt me,” Firenze said.

“But—but then what was the point of this trip across Xanth?”

“Another perhaps irrelevant observation,” Fornax said. “A journey together can be a learning experience. Your time together may have satisfied both of you that you are right for each other, when you were unwilling to believe it before, being locked into the notion that adoption out was necessary. So the point of the trip was not to locate a distant family, but to interact long enough to be able to come to that conclusion. You traveled to find the right adoptive family, and maybe you have found it: your own.”

“Can that be true?” Astrid asked.

“I hope it's true,” Firenze said.

“You know I'm a deadly animal.”

“You know I'm a surly kid.”

“You both know you want this,” Fornax said.

Decision came upon her like a dive into a pool. “Yes, I'll adopt you! Hold your breath; I'm going to kiss you.”

He held his breath. She kissed him. It was decided.

Chapter 13:
Squid

They made the return trip without complication, because of the trolls' appreciation for Firenze's assistance saving the children. Astrid still did not much like trolls, but had to admit that it depended on what type she encountered. The Trollway trolls were all right.

But who had set up the kidnapping? A hostile Demon surely, but which one? Could it be the same one who had gotten the children in trouble via the joint dream?

“As I see it, there are three prospects,” Fornax murmured. “The Demons Neptune, Mars, and Saturn. Mars and Saturn stayed clear, but Neptune bet against the survival of Xanth.”

“That's interesting,” Astrid said. “What is his association?”

“Mass/Energy. They are really different forms of the same thing. I run afoul of his domain when I touch terrene matter and convert it to energy.”

“Could Neptune have an interest in you, as Nemesis does?”

“He's more interested in sea creatures. But he does resent my occasional conversions of mass to energy. Now that I have in effect changed sides in the Xanth Wager, he may be more resentful.”

“So he could be trying to nullify your influence.”

“He could be.”

“Then he could have sent that dream of Daymares to the children.”

“He could. And put an idea into the minds of hungry bad trolls.”

“But we can't prove it.”

“That is the problem,” Fornax agreed glumly.

They continued their trek. In another day they were home.

“So I will adopt Firenze,” Astrid concluded her report. “The trip we made did find him a home. It just wasn't the one we expected.”

“But—” Art started.

She focused on him. “First I'll marry you, of course. Then we'll adopt him. Then you'll paint our family portrait, using a mirror so you can see yourself to paint. We will have done our part to save Xanth from destruction. Do you have a problem with that?”

Art opened his mouth. Astrid leaned toward him and inhaled. “No,” he said, his eyes starting to crystallize. He was immune to her poison, but not to her charms.

Men were easy.

“Lovely,” Fornax remarked invisibly.

“But what about the others?” Firenze asked. “There need to be five portraits.”

“We'll work on them, of course,” Astrid said. “The children will all be placed. Who is next?”

“Let's Commune,” Firenze said.

The children linked hands and Communed. “Me!” Squid said, surprised. “I'll find my Family on an island. That way. Tomorrow.” She pointed across the terrain.

“An island?” Astrid asked. “I'm sure if we go far enough in that direction we'll come to water eventually. But we don't want to send you swimming alone. I'll have to go with you.”

“Sure, Aunt Astrid.”

“Crossing water,” Astrid continued. “I'm not going to swim among the fins. That means a boat.”

“There'll be one,” Squid said. “The route line I see curves to catch it. It's small. Maybe a canoe.”

“I'm not good with small boats,” Astrid said. “I'm more of a desert creature. I have little experience with water, and what I have is not great. I'd likely fall in and drown. That wouldn't be much help.”

“No,” Kandy said. “You're my friend. I won't let you drown. Ease and I will go with you.”

“We will?” Ease asked, surprised.

Kandy turned slowly toward him so that he could fully appreciate her remarkable profile. She didn't even need to inhale; she was already his dream girl. “It's your talent to make things easy. Like managing a canoe.”

“We will,” he agreed.

They rested a day and night. Then Astrid and Squid set off, accompanied by Kandy and Ease.

And Fornax. “Maybe this time we can get by without covert Demon mischief,” she murmured.

“I hope so,” Astrid said. “Things are complicated enough without that.”

“What's ‘covert' mean, Aunt Fornax?” Squid asked.

“Secret. Demons are not supposed to mess in, but sometimes they do it sneakily.”

“The way you enhanced our—”

“She's just a bystander, dear,” Astrid said quickly with a meaningful squeeze of her hand.

“Oh. Sure,” the child agreed, remembering. “And I guess there are other bystanders.”

“But sometimes what one Demon does needs to be countered by another,” Kandy said. “To make it fair.”

In due course they reached the water. It seemed to be an inlet on a larger sea. There was the boat, caught in vines by the shore, abandoned. The children's Communion had known. And that ability to Commune was one of the deliberately unrecognized gifts of the Demoness.

Ease hauled the boat clear. It was a dugout canoe carved from a sturdy log. “Looks seaworthy,” he said.

“But there're no paddles,” Astrid said.

“One will do,” Kandy said, and became the board. Her clothing dropped to the ground, and Ease picked it up and put it in the canoe.

“I love it when she does that,” Squid said. “She doesn't pretend, the way I do; she really does change.”

“She was a board when I first met her,” Astrid said. “But I was never bored.”

Squid giggled. “She's fun.”

“She is,” Ease agreed. Astrid suspected that he meant that in a different way.

Astrid found a reasonably flat fallen branch and adapted it into a crude paddle. Then the four of them climbed into the canoe and pushed off.

“That way,” Squid said from the prow, pointing.

They paddled that way. Ease had an easy stroke that propelled the craft rapidly forward; he did have the touch. Astrid helped, so as to contribute her share.

“What's that?” Squid asked, pointing into the sky.

“Oh, bleep!” Astrid swore. “That looks like Fracto.”

“The wild cloud?” the child asked. “Part of Xanth's legend?”

“The same,” Astrid agreed. “We have brushed with him before. Let's hope he doesn't see us.”

But the cloud had already spied them. It loomed close, expanding.

“Or recognize us,” Astrid said.

A whirling gaseous eye formed, glaring at them. Fracto recognized them.

“He's a two-bit troublemaker,” Ease muttered. “A real airhead.”

“Or hear us,” Astrid said, concerned.

A blast of cold air blew down on them. Fracto had heard. Now they were in for it. Already the water was getting choppy.

When Astrid had encountered the violent cloud on the water before, she had pacified him by using her female wiles. She feared that would not be enough this time.

“Maybe if two lovely women addressed him,” Fornax murmured. “Or three, if the third doesn't actually do anything.”

It was worth a try. “Face the other way,” Kandy told Ease. “So you won't freak out.” The man signed and turned around to face to the rear. One might almost have thought he wouldn't have minded freaking out for a good cause.

Astrid removed her clothing, which was bound to get soaked anyway. The board transformed back to Kandy, minus her apparel, as happened when she changed. She took her place in the center of the canoe, next to Astrid. Fornax floated to her other side, similarly bare, and even more voluptuously formed. The three of them gazed up at the angry cloud.

“Wow!” Squid said. “When I grow up, I'm going to make myself look like that.” And of course she would be able to do it, with her powers of mimicry. She would make some young man deliriously happy just before he freaked out.

“We apologize most humbly,” Astrid called to the glowering Fracto. “Please forgive us.” The three of them inhaled.

The cloud considered. Then he sent down another chill blast, making them shiver. But he didn't swamp them.

Then a stiff wind blew from the rear, pushing the canoe forward. It fairly raced across the water.

Astrid was not easy about this. Before, Fracto had blown them straight into mischief. He was one ill wind.

“Land ahoy!” Squid called. “And it's right where we need to go.”

Had that niceness been intentional on Fracto's part? Astrid still didn't trust it. But she assumed her most positive stance. “Thank you, Fracto!” she called.

The cloud floated away, evidently pacified.

Then Squid reconsidered. “Or maybe not.”

“Not?” Kandy asked.

“It's along the line, but maybe not there yet. It's hard to tell. The direction's right, but maybe not the distance.”

“You know, I saw something,” Ease said. “I think it was a honeypot. It made me hungry.”

“Yet. It's along the line,” Squid said.

He shaded his eyes, looking. “Well I'll be!”

“You'll be what, dear?” Kandy asked.

“It
is
a honeypot! A big one.”

“Nothing is as it seems, when spoken by an innocent,” Fornax said. “I may not say more.” She faded out.

“Gimme the paddle.”

Kandy became the board, falling into his hands. He paddled vigorously toward the little island.

Except that it wasn't exactly an island. It was a small mountain in the shape of a huge bee, from whose mouth poured a river of golden honey that landed in a pool-size pot. The honeypot.

Then Astrid got the rest of it as she put her dress back on. Ease had said “I'll be.” And it turned out to be “Isle Bee,” a bee the size of an island, filling a pot of honey. Fornax had warned her.

But why had Fornax then faded out? That suggested that she was in danger of saying something that would constitute Demon interference, so she had removed the temptation. So maybe there was more to this situation.

Was that honey safe to eat?

Ease paddled up to the pot. He fetched a dipper from the canoe and used it to dip out some honey. Before Astrid could say anything, he tasted it. “Perfect!”

Now she just had to hope it was. In any event, they needed to know more about this.

Kandy reformed. She took the dipper and tasted the honey. “Lovely.”

Too late again. Was the honey safe, or was it not what it seemed? She didn't want to alarm anyone unnecessarily. “Squid, let's you and I wait a bit,” Astrid said to the child.

Squid considered. She had heard Fornax, and had learned caution. “Okay.”

“Good girl.” Astrid knew the child was eager for the honey. “Maybe you should swim around the island to see what you can see.”

Squid shaped herself into her natural form and plopped into the water.

Meanwhile Ease and Kandy were dipping and eating more honey. “This is the best honey ever,” Kandy said. “You should try some.”

“I will, soon,” Astrid agreed, gazing at the bee-shaped mountain. It was amazingly realistic. It was almost as if a real giant bee had been frozen in place, except for the flowing honey.

Then an unwilling notion pushed into her mind. Almost?

Suppose that was a real bee, that could reanimate at any moment? Suppose the honey contained a sleeping potion. There were no flowers here in the sea to provide nectar for the bee to feed on; what did it eat? That honeypot could be a deadly trap.

Squid reappeared. “There's something funny about that island,” she said. “It's tied to a rock below. It has bee legs.”

“It's a bee,” Astrid said.

“Oh look! Aunt Kandy and Uncle Ease are taking a nap.”

As Astrid had feared, the two were slumped in the canoe. “I think there is sleeping potion in the honey. I didn't warn them in time.”

“They didn't get caught in Storage the way we did. They're not par—par—”

“Paranoid,” Astrid said. “So it's up to us to get us away from here.”

“How? There's nowhere else close enough to go to.”

“And we don't even have a paddle,” Astrid agreed. “We're in trouble.”

“We need Aunt Kandy awake so she can be the paddle.”

“We do.”

“Why did Aunt Fornax fade?”

Observant child! “She must have seen something that she could not warn us about directly, lest she be guilty of intervening. So she faded to stop herself.”

“The way she acted to save me?”

“Yes. So in Storage she didn't dare act. Or here.”

“I like her.”

“So do I.”

“She'll act if she has to, to save us. But then she'll be in trouble.”

“That's the way I see it,” Astrid said. “We have to save ourselves if we possibly can.”

“Maybe I can ask the bee.”

“It is hard to talk to a stone creature.”

“She's not all the way stone, 'cause she's making the honey. Maybe she's got a mind inside. Maybe I can Commune with her.”

“I fear that could be risky.”

Squid considered. “Maybe if you take off your glasses, Aunt Astrid, and back me up, I can do it. So that if she comes to life—”

“I can Stare her,” Astrid finished. “Maybe that would work.”

“I need to touch her to Commune.”

“We'll try it.” Astrid took the rope that had moored the boat before, and tied it around a rocky outcropping so it wouldn't drift. Then she and Squid stepped out onto the island beside the Pot. They made their way to a spot directly in front of the Bee, overlooking the Pot and the stream of honey. Then Squid moved forward, around the Pot, while Astrid focused on the Bee's closed front eye.

Squid assumed the likeness of a much smaller bee. She touched the face of the big Bee. She Communed.

The Bee's eye flickered. Astrid watched it, but did not Stare. She didn't want to do anything she couldn't undo.

Squid broke contact and made her way back to Astrid. “Wow!”

“What is it?”

“She is a Bee. A small
d
demon caught her and tied her here to produce honey for him. He comes once a day to collect it, replacing the Pot. He's mean; we don't want to be here when he comes. Especially grown women.”

“We'll try to get away before he comes,” Astrid said, not discussing why. “What else did you learn?”

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