FLAME (Spark Series) (9 page)

He shrugs and winks. “I know how to get what I want.”

“Well, you’re getting the short version. That’s all.”

“And as usual, Doll, I’ll take what I can get.” He kisses me lightly on the lips. “So spill.”

I huff, really not wanting to get into details. I don’t know why Drew is different than my usual one-nighters. Perhaps it’s because he doesn’t judge me and takes me as I am.

“I had shit parents. I was only good enough to get them what they wanted—cigarettes, booze, groceries. They never took me out. Never spoiled me. My dad being sober
was
my Christmas present. My mom stripped for a living and stuck needles in her arms daily. The only time she wasn’t getting high or ripping her clothes off was on my birthdays, which was supposed to be my birthday present since they never bought me anything. So…in a nutshell. My parents should’ve never had me. Or been parents, period.”

“And what about the
mate?” He barely flinches at my confession.

“M
ate?”

“The one who screwed you over?”

“I was talking about my parents…in case you missed that part.”

“I heard. But that doesn’t give me any information on why you’ve closed men off your list? Or why you have the need to push men away? Or why—”

“There you go again, Dr. Phil.” I push a hand against his chest. “Enough with the questions. That’s all you’re getting tonight.”

“So there was a mate?” His eyebrows rise in suspicion.

“Isn’t there always?”

We lay in comfortable silence. I’m surprised how easy it feels to open up to him, even though I didn’t tell him everything. It’s more than I’ve ever told any guy before though, so I guess that’s a start. However, I’m not sure what it means. I don’t open up to men.
Ever
.

10

I wake up to an unfamiliar smell. And an empty bed. I shift and realize the bed is still warm where Drew was laying. I look down and see I’m still naked. Guess I never bothered to get dressed last night.

Flashes of last night enter my mind—sex,
great
sex and then opening up to Drew about my past. Well, opening up a little. I didn’t give him much and that’s a good thing. That’s all he’s getting,
period
.

I’ve had my fun with Drew. Now it’s time to kick his ass out and tell him to get lost. If I let him in any more, he’ll just get too comfortable and weasel his way in. And what I’ve seen of  Velaney’s experience—and various heartbroken sob stories from Julia and Kenna—I don’t want to get too close to the relationship status.

Watching Jake tear Velaney’s walls down, and then just gutting her like a fish, left her wrecked for months. I picked up the pieces, glued them back together, and got her back on her feet. He wasn’t worth the tears in my opinion, but Laney clung to him like a damn guppy. Watching her just reinstates why I don’t let guys in. Why give them the chance to hurt you at all? Just take what you really want, and in the end, everyone leaves happy.

I grab a shirt and a pair of shorts before heading out into the kitchen. I see Drew—a shirtless Drew—standing by the stove, cooking something up.

I lean casually against the doorframe, watching his every move as his back muscles flex with each solid movement.
Fuck me.
Rugby player. Hot as sin. British accent.
Am I really kicking this guy out?

“Good morning, Doll,” he says without even turning around.

“What? You have eyes in the back of your head, too?”

“I have very good senses.” He finally turns around, flashing his gorgeous smile. “Kind of have to when I’m on the field, ya know?”

“I’m sure you do. However, it kind of adds to your creep factor.”

“I’ll take it.” He grins, crossing his arms over his chest.

“So what exactly are you making? It smells horrible.” I sit across from him on the breakfast bar.

“
Poached eggs with fried mushrooms, sausage, toast, and tea. Would you like some?” he asks genuinely.

I wrinkle my nose. “Why?”

“Why?” he asks amused. “Well, because it’s morning. And typically, you eat breakfast in the morning.” He leans over the bar, inching closer to me.

“Yes, I’m aware.” I shoot him an annoyed look. “Why are you making breakfast at my house?”

“Where would you like me to make it?”

“Preferably, at your own house. This smell is going to be here for days.”

“Ah, the cold shoulder.” He smirks, leaning back.

I tilt my head. “No…the morning-after brush off. There’s a difference.”

“Really? Enlighten me. What’s the difference?” He spins around to turn the stovetop off.

“Why are you still here?” I ask bluntly, ignoring his question.

“I need a ride to my car, but I can take a taxi if you’d like.” His eyes are strong, holding mine. However, I can tell he’s ready to back down if I invite him to stay.

“I’ll grab my keys.” I make sure to keep eye contact with him, challenging him to break down first.

I slip my shoes on and open the door, waving him out into the hallway. My neighbor across the hall, Collins, leaves his apartment at the same time. We exchange quick hellos before Drew grabs my hand as we walk down the hall, making this goodbye a lot more intimate than I want. I don’t know how to brush him off, although I know I need to.

One night with a man is easy. Quick and done. Two nights,
still easy.
Hello, goodbye. Done and done. But anything after that will start to get complicated. And I have a feeling this just went from quick and done to
super
complicated
.

I drop him off at his car and say a quick goodbye. He grabs my face and slowly leans in before brushing his lips against mine.

“Goodbye, Carissa,” he says just above a whisper. I can tell he knows it’s the last goodbye. I can sense he knows. And yet, it breaks
my
heart.

I drive back home, pretending I’m unaffected. I push him out of my head as I need to get ready for the day.

I walk back into my apartment, smelling the breakfast Drew made. I walk to my bedroom where the sheets are piled at the foot of the bed and my clothes from last night are still spiraled on the floor. I close my eyes as I inhale his familiar scent that continues to linger in the air. I open them back up and spot the wall that he pinned me against—the part of the wall that made my body go completely undone around him.

And then I know.

He’s affected me.

I rip off my sheets and gather my dirty clothes from the floor. I make a pile and throw them by the outside door. I frantically clean the kitchen, throwing out any evidence of his presence. I even toss the damn cooking pan that he was cooking with, needing all memories and reminders gone.

Once I’m fully satisfied that everything he’s touched is gone, I get ready for my shift.

*   *   *

I walk in to work with extra confidence.
I can do this.
I push any thoughts of Drew out of my head as I begin serving customers. It’s slow at first, but as soon as the late afternoon hits, we get slammed.

Julia and Kenna are both working with me. Laney’s taken some time off, so drowning myself in work is always best when things are clogging up my mind.

We work swiftly through the evening. I work my charm on customers as the drunker they get, the easier it is to manipulate them into giving me bigger tips. I do quite well and end the evening with a couple hundred in tips.

“Damn, girl. You did good tonight,” Kenna remarks, looking at my pile of cash sitting in front of me on the bar.

“Sure did. The girls usually help with that.” I smirk, pointing down at my breasts.

“So what’s the game plan tonight, ladies? Going home or shall we have a ladies night of our own?” Julia asks, waving around a bottle of tequila.

It’s after bar hours, and we could get our asses in huge trouble for staying after, but we all nod frantically as Julia begins pouring us shots.

After a couple shots, we all have the case of the giggles. It feels really good to laugh with them. My mind is free and my body feels loose.

“Okay…okay!” I shout over their laughter. “Time to play…‘
I Never.’
”

“Oh my god…no way! You’ll get trashed, Carissa!” Kenna laughs.

“Try me! C’mon, you pussies!”             

Julia lines the bar with three shot glasses and pours tequila in a line, filling them all. “Alright, who’s first?”

“Okay, I’ll start,” Kenna says, grabbing our attention. “I’ve never…kissed a girl.”

Julia’s mouth drops open and I laugh, grabbing for my shot glass. “Cheers!” I clink my glass with Julia’s and shoot it down. Julia is still staring at me. “C’mon! Go!”

“That was a low blow, Kenna!”

Kenna and I both laugh as she reluctantly takes the shot.

“It wasn’t even consensual,” she mutters, slamming the shot glass back down.

“Quit your whining. I know you liked it. I felt tongue,” I tease. Her face turns beet red as she rolls her eyes at me.

“Okay, Riss, you go!” Kenna yells as Julia fills our shots back up.

“Oh god, this is gonna be hard.” I smirk. “Okay…I never had a boyfriend! Cheers bitches! Drink up!”

“Alright…this means war! You’ve gotten me twice, now it’s my turn!” Julia shouts, slamming her shot glass down for the second time. “I never fucked a guy after just meeting him!”

I shrug unapologetically and take my shot. Julia fills my glass back up as Kenna takes her turn. “I never fucked a guy without knowing his name!” She looks right at me, nodding to my glass.

“You girls just sound like a bunch of losers,” I spit out, laughing as I take my third shot.

“Alright, Riss. Give us your best!” Julia cheers, feeling confident.

“Alright, you virgins.” I slam a fist on the bar, making the glasses rattle. “I
never
say no to sex!” I raise my arm in victory, knowing I totally have them both. I laugh hysterically at them as they both wince from taking another shot. “That’s right, you little bitches. Sex wins!”

“I
never
had sex in a hot tub!” Julia screams.

“I
never
had sex in the BACK OFFICE!” Kenna screams after Julia.

“Oh, I have another.” Julia refills all the shot glasses.
“I
never
had sex in a car, a boat, and some stranger’s cottage…all in one night!” She shoots me a look and nods down to my filled shot. “Drink up,
s-lut!
”

“You girls really are a bunch of bitches.” I slam my shot down my throat, the taste no longer apparent.

We continue giggling for the next hour as we enjoy the buzz. We stop drinking just long enough so we can drive home later. It’s well after 5AM before we call it a night.

“Drive safe, dammit. I’m not bailing your asses out of jail.” I point a finger at them, pretending to be strict.

“You’re the one who should be careful. Make sure you don’t slip and fall on any random penises before you get home,” Julia snorts as she walks to her car.

“I’d be horny too, stuck-up snobs, if I wasn’t getting any!” I stick my tongue out at her.

I wave goodbye to them before unlocking my car. I realize my eyes are tired, and I can barely hold them open. I’m usually good at holding my alcohol, but just in case, I release the seat so it falls all the way back.

I let the car run for a half hour, filling the car with heat. I close my eyes, letting my body sink into the seat.
I’ll just nap for a couple minutes.

A loud tap on the window jerks me forward. I scream as I see someone staring down at me. I wipe the sleep out of my eyes and realize it’s Drew.
What the hell?

I roll my window down and immediately start yelling at him. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I shall ask you the same thing, Doll. It’s almost sunrise. What are you doing in your car this late?”

“I was sleeping off the alcohol, thank you. What, are you stalking me outside the bar now?”

“I was out running when I saw your car. I just wanted to check and make sure you’re okay.”

Ugh…he looks amazing in a sleeveless shirt and Nike shorts. His hair is messy, like he just rolled out of bed. And his eyes…
ahh those stunning, genuine blue eyes.

“Aren’t you cold?”

“I am now that I stopped running.” He grins.

“Do you want to come in?” I ask, although I’m not sure why. “I mean, to warm up before you run back to campus.”

He smiles wide before answering, “Sure.”

I unlock the door and let him in. He grabs my hands in his and holds them. I look awkwardly at him, wondering what the hell he’s doing.

“My hands are cold,” is all he says as he links our fingers together. I try to hide the smirk on my face as I enjoy the feel of his hands on me again.

“So, are you going to tell me why you kicked me out yesterday morning? Or is it just something you do?”

“Well, you don’t live there for starters, so you had to go at some point.”

He chuckles lightly. “Yes, I know. But typically, girls want to make plans again—like arranging another night, exchanging numbers?”

“I’m not those girls. I thought you knew that,” I respond bluntly.

“I do.”

“So what’s the problem?” I daringly look him in the eyes, amusement written all over his face.

“I want more. I haven’t stopped thinking about you all day. I don’t want goodbye. And I don’t want to think that last night was the last time ever,” he says sincerely, and it nearly breaks my heart. I knew I shouldn’t have given him more than one night. Or control.
Fuck me.
Never. Give. Up. Control.

And then I let him come inside me? Good god. No wonder he’s like a lost puppy.

But he isn’t. He’s the
fucking
sexiest
man I’ve ever met. He makes me want more and that scares the living shit out of me.

“Drew…look,” I begin, looking back and forth from our hands to his eyes.

“I get it,” he interrupts. “You don’t have to give me a sob story. I just wanted to put my offer out there for you, in case you change your mind.” He brings our hands to his lips and kisses them tenderly. “I hope to see you around,” is the last thing he says before yanking the handle open and exiting the car.

I watch as he begins running on the sidewalk. I watch until I can no longer see him. And I watch the sunrise, wondering if I just made the biggest mistake ever by letting him walk away.