For Love or Money (20 page)

He
shakes his head, gripping my hand and peaking over the top of it. “She is a
tomcat in the sheets. Freak. I nailed her in Vegas last summer. Best sex ever.”

“You
were eighteen last summer. Gross. She’s mid twenties.” I roll my eyes and James
laughs, squeezing my other hand.

We
listen to her blather on about how my dad is her favorite person in the world
and completely responsible for her success.

The
crowd is eating it up, but I’m not the only person in the stands who isn’t as
impressed as I should be. Bryce’s eyes search out mine. I sneer but he winks at
me.

James
sees and turns, taking my face in his hands and kissing me softly. He sucks my
lower lip, making tingles slither through my body.

The
crowd erupts, missing our make-out session.

When
the speeches and bravado are over, we are split into four groups of five
applicants with their bands. My dad comes and sits with us, offering his hand
to my bandmates and getting particularity excited when he sees Nick. When it’s
his turn to speak to James, his face changes a bit. “James, how are you?”

“Great!”
James smiles wide. “Sir, nice to see you again.”

“I
owe you one, young man.” My dad chuckles.

James
turns and glances at me. “I think we’re even.”

My
dad’s eyes land on me, narrowing like I’ve lied to him. I shake my head, like
I’m letting him know I never did. But he doesn’t trust me, I can see that
still. I don’t know when we’ll be to a place where I’ve earned it back. I don’t
know that we will ever get to that place.

All
I can do is try.

“Where’s
Leo?” Dad looks around.

“Sick.
He got a head cold on the flight over.”

I
am not the only person my dad doesn’t trust. He nods, but I can see he’s
skeptical.

“Well,
I hope he’s better by tomorrow. We go live and this auditorium will be filled
with people who want to meet the contestants and who want to see the show. Head
colds don’t really affect us, we don’t need to sing.” His tone is serious.

I
scowl. “Dad, he’ll be here. I bet he’s at the party tonight.”

My
dad scoffs. “I bet he’s there too. That’s not the part I’m worried about.” He
nods at the rest of us. “Good luck with first performances today.” He points at
me and leaves.

I
don’t feel so great about our relationship again. My insides twist a bit, but I
can’t worry about him. I have another dragon to slay.

My
eyes drift to the stage as the first group gets up there and starts to play.

Nick
wrinkles his nose. “Your dad still seems kinda pissed.”

I
nod, watching him smile at everyone as he introduces himself. “He is.”

James
takes my hand in his, kissing the back of it, but I pull it away. “Two separate
things.” He nods. He looks pissed too.

Shit.

I
can’t seem to make anyone happy today, but I don’t want my dad to think I lied.

The
first group of performers are amazing. Every one of them is fantastic, their
performances aren’t perfect, but I can see the potential.

The
second group goes through. Each group is playing two songs and getting
critiqued so that when the show really starts tomorrow on live TV we don’t make
complete fools of ourselves. It’s almost like cheating but it’s not. We need to
understand how the stage echoes and how we sound and look on it before we go
live. It’s really just a test run.

Plus
I think my dad needs to make certain the applicants aren’t pulling his leg and
the bands can play.

Bryce’s
girl band of sexy sluts is the final act in the second group. It’s like The
Pussy Cat Dolls, only less perfect. I shake my head, disapprovingly. “Of
course, he brought a harem.”

Nick
sighs. “The guy’s a dick, but I want to kiss him for bringing them.”

When
I look at him, disgustingly, I see my father has the same expression from
across the room. It makes us both smile at each other.

My
dad hated Bryce when we dated. His dad is a big Hollywood director and we got
in heaps of trouble together.

James
leans in like he’s reading my thoughts. “You never mentioned you slept with
Bryce, he’s from Yale. I figured you would have told me about him at the picnic
bench we never are allowed to mention again.”

“You
promised, kill it with fire. And I did tell you my ex-boyfriend Bryce was going
to be here.” I cock an eyebrow. “He’s a celebrity. His dad has like seven
Oscars. We agreed I wasn’t going to tell you the celebrity ones. It feels wrong
to kiss and tell.” I nod up at the stage. “Especially a jackass like him.” Bryce
waves at the judges, introducing himself and using his charms on the panel. It
almost makes me angry to see them eat it up, but I have an idea.

I
look at Simon. “Can I sing ‘Human’ instead of you, by Christina Perri?”

He
looks shocked but nods. “Yeah, for sure. You think you can do it?”

I
shake my head. “No! I don’t think I can, but I think have to. If I want to win
my dad’s respect I need to be bigger than just the girl who plays the violin.
And we have the song mastered. Let’s just do it.”

James
nods. “I agree. It’s the showstopping surprise we need to enter this with.
Everyone thinks they know everything about you. No one knows you. Let’s wow
them.”

We
are with the fourth group, in fact we are the last act of the show. I can’t
help but wonder if my dad did this to me on purpose, testing my resolve. But
like I did in the classroom with my violin when I thought James was testing me,
I plan on rocking it. I have more resolve than I let people know.

We
are in the wings, listening to the other group, my hands are puddles and my
heart is pounding to the point my vision is tunneled. I glance across and see
Henry and Geoff sitting in the stands, at the side where my dad is.

My
family is here to see me play and I have a horrid feeling I’m going to throw
up.

James
tries to hold my hand, but I need to stand alone, not processing anything, just
being here.

Michelle
points at us. “And lastly, we have a special treat. Mr. Webber’s own daughter
entered the contest. I had assumed as an applicant, but it turns out there might
be more to Lana Webber than meets the eye. She is here with her band. Let’s
give it up for Leo Gates’ participants. Leo is under the weather today, but we
hope to see him tonight. Here they are.” She claps and smiles wide. I don’t
know if she’s smiling ‘cause she thinks I’ll suck or if she genuinely hopes I
don’t.

We
walk out onto the stage, I’m gripping my violin like it’s my lifeline.

The
band gets into place. The lights dim for us. I avoid every face in the crowd
and look up at the lights.

James
comes and whispers to me. “The lights look like the stars on your violin.”

I
clear my throat and look down at it. He’s right. She’s watching me. She’s
watching, and I want nothing like I do for her to be proud.

Nick
starts the keyboard, but I don’t look out at the audience as the first words
leave my lips softly. It’s too soft and I know it so I close my eyes and push
it a little more.

The
words flow from my mouth perfectly as Nick and Brandon play with me. When I hit
the chorus and I open my eyes, tears are turning my vision hazy. I don’t cry
but they sit in there, making the audience invisible. I don’t even realize I’m
holding my violin and not playing it. The drums, guitar, keyboard, and bass are
more than enough.

The
song builds to its crescendo and I sing as hard as I can, lost in the stars
that make everything more. The words mean so much to me because all my mistakes
in the past prove every word she wrote.

I
finish the song and lower my head.

The
audience is silent.

I’m
shaking and scared, but I don’t know if I can look at them so I look back.
James looks stunned. We’re standing alike, staring at each other, like the
world has frozen.

James
nods, clapping.

Suddenly
I hear it.

It’s
like my hearing starts again or my shock wears off, everyone in the stands is standing
and clapping. Geoff and Henry are crying and my dad is fighting his tears.

Everyone
looks stunned.

But
no one is more stunned than me. James grabs my arm, pulling me back and
whispering. “Next song, Lana. Come on. Stay with me. Look into my eyes.”

I
turn and suddenly I’m okay again. Not great, but okay. He’s here and I’m not
alone.

He
nods. “Next song.”

I
walk to the back as he and Simon come more forward.

The
stands simmer down as James strikes the guitar, but it’s Nick who starts the
song off. We decided on “Best Day Of My Life” by American Authors. It’s a fast
and fun song, and I only have to play violin. Brandon’s mad skills on the drums
and James’ guitar picking are the main focus of the music and James and Simon
are the vocals, thank God.

James
leans into the mike, pointing at the crowd and singing the first lines softly.

We
all wait for the first break and explode at the same time as all the
instruments come to life.

James
owns the stage. Where my singing was a surprise, his sex appeal is irresistible.
He moves around the front of the stage, dancing and pointing out at the crowd.

Brandon
leans into his mike singing backup, doing a perfect mimic of the original song
while drumming.

The
crowd is off their seats, dancing with their arms in the air. Every time we
explode after the break, they cheer.

I
relax into the song, playing my violin. James has the guitar picking sounding
just like a ukulele. He is so talented. Seeing him perform, I forget I am too.
I just play along as he and Simon lead the crowd.

When
the song is done, I’m barely breathing. Everyone is going nuts, but James is
looking at me like he’s asking if I’m okay. I nod. My hands are glued to the
bow and violin with sweat and anxiety but I have survived.

My
father gestures at me. He’s proud or pleased or something good.

It’s
like taking an eraser and making everything go away. That affirmation of his
approval is more than anything else that has ever happened.

When
we get off stage my knees buckle but James is there. He lifts me a little, kissing
my cheek. “That was fucking insane. You ARE a diva. You just never let it go.”

I
nod. I don’t want to talk about it. I want to go and sit in a room and
overthink everything that just happened. But Nick, Simon, and Brandon are so
excited I can hardly take it. They’re shouting and hugging me. I am no longer
odd man out.

I’m
no longer ruled and trapped by the prison I built around myself.

James
takes my hand in his, blending the two worlds we need to keep separate, but I
don’t care. I squeeze his hand and let him pull me through the crowd to the
back door.

We
get into a lonely hallway, making me ask, “Where are we going?”

He
doesn’t answer, he just walks. When we get to another door he opens it, pulling
me into a small, dark room. The light leaves when he closes the door.

He
leans in, kissing me. He cups my face, delicately planting soft kisses and
whispering, “I am so proud of you.”

I
nod against his face. “Me too. I’m proud of us all.” My stomach is still in
knots, and being alone in the dark with him isn’t making it go away. But at
least the panicked feeling of my stage fright is gone.

His
lips delicately caress mine, like he’s hesitating or waiting for me to give him
the go ahead. I wrap my hands around his neck, letting him lift me up into his
arms, cupping my ass and holding me against the wall. It isn’t aggressive
though, it’s slow and adoring.

His
lips trail down my cheeks, sucking at my neck and shoulders as he nudges my
shirt away from my neckline. I close my eyes, lost in the delicate way he’s touching
me. I run my hands down the back of him, clawing at him and grinding my body
against his.

He
chuckles and puts me down, stepping back. “I need a cold shower.”

My
lips are getting puffy from the kisses and my breath is ragged but he’s right,
we need to stop. The silence feels awkward but he steps close to me again. In
the dark I can’t see him, but I can feel his breath. “Go out for dinner with me
tomorrow night.”

It
brings a smile to my face, my whole face. “You want to go on a date?”

“I
want to be what you need, beyond what you want.”

Fuck,
he’s perfect.

I
nod. “Okay.”

“Be
my date tonight for the party?”

“Okay.”
I don’t know what else to say. Our two worlds don’t seem to want to separate. I
don’t want them to as much as I pretend I do. But I’m sort of done pretending.
I just want to be true to my feelings.