Forgotten Days (Fate's Intent Book 6) (7 page)

My father let out a breath rather loudly, not like sighing but it was enough to draw my attention back to him. He didn’t look any different. His eyes were still casting a chilly gaze at anyone that looked.

“Your reasoning is neither appreciative nor tolerated. I said no and that is the last I want to hear on the matter.”

He walked away, leaving us all a bit confused. How could he be so stubborn? Did he really hate her that much that he wouldn’t even let me have her when we’re at peace?

I looked at Adele and those tears of joy turned into something else. It was a hate for my father or a hate for even being here at all and she turned away, leaving the ballroom in another direction.

“Pleasant morning.” Aleksander said.

I turned to him, a little angry myself but calm enough not to let my eyes change. “How could you just stand there? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I gave you my blessing, Zayden but it’s not up to me to give you his.”

“Mother?” I turned my eyes to her. She’s always been on my side even when I didn’t know it and I hoped she would be again.

“I think this is something best discussed in private.”

“Okay.” I was ready to find that place but she stopped me.

“I meant just Aleks and myself. You should find Adele.”

“But I—“

“Go. We’ll find you.”

It was a bit unsettling to have to listen to her. I guess I just wasn’t used to it. I grew up telling her what should be done and now she was the one telling me.

I nodded respectfully and turned to find Adele. I knew where she would be and went right to her room. She was alone but she wasn’t happy.

“Love, listen—”

“Please don’t say a thing!” She snatched. “I know! He hates me and I killed that poor girl for nothing!”

“It wasn’t for nothing. I promised I’d have you and I will. My mother and your father are going to speak with him. He’ll change his mind.”

Her mood lowered as she sat. “No. I don’t think he will.”

“If that’s how he really feels about it then I’ll go back with you. I’ve done it once. I can do it again.”

“Zayden, no. I never liked the idea of you walking away from your responsibility for me and I still don’t.”

“He won’t be giving us another choice. I’m not going to lose you.”

There was a knock on the door and both our heads turned as Aleksander stepped in. “Good. You’re alone.”

“What did he say?” I demanded the answer so maybe we could get somewhere with this faster.

“I didn’t speak with him but I know his problem.”

“What?” Adele asked.

Aleksander took a long breath and closed the door to come farther into the room. “It’s your mother.”

Adele looked at me, confused. “My mother?”

“I know that it’s been a long time but he’s not over it and he blames himself.”

“Not over what?” I asked.

“I only had the privilege of meeting Cynthia because she is who Izin chose to bring when we decided on expanding our group.”

“What are you saying?” Adele asked. “Mother was with Izin?”

It seemed he went over the question in his mind before answering. “Sort of, yes.”

“And you were with my mother?” I asked.

He laughed. “Kathryn and I? No. We just grew up together, knew the same people. She was with Ryon’s father for years until she got pregnant and he bolted but we were only just friends.”

“Then what happened?” Adele asked. “Mother ended up with you.”

“It didn’t end badly with them. He just saw how drawn she seemed to me and just wanted her to be happy. They remained friends and he began to get close to Kathryn after that.”

“So, why does he blame himself for letting you have her?”

“It wasn’t that. The night of the raid, it was hectic. We were all trying to find someone we cared about so they could get to safety. Izin has never forgiven himself for sending Cynthia across the border into Kalu. He blames himself for her staying and her—dying.”

“But mother just grew ill. No amount of medicine could have helped her.”

“I know but he thinks that if he had just sent her into Seni that never would have happened because I would have just followed her and we’d be living here.”

“But if that happened, you’d never be where you are and I never would have met Ruby or Jaylyn.”

“No. Things would have been much different—for all of us.”

“And that’s why he won’t let us marry?” I asked.

“He sees Cynthia every time he looks at Adele and the guilt and blame comes back to him. He never wanted Cynthia back in his life to make him feel that. He’s not ready.”

“But I still want this. How do we get him ready?”

“We don’t.”

Our eyes turned to Adele and she was utterly and completely unsure. “Me!? No. I can’t. I can’t talk to him and especially if I’m supposed to do this alone.”

“Adele, I’m going to be open about something.” Aleksander said. I had a feeling I knew what this was about but didn’t know if she was ready yet either. “I was told about the incident you think happened.”

“The incident? Sure, you could call it that. I’m not going anywhere near him alone.”

“Listen to me. It was only a dream. He never touched you in the way you think he did.”

Her face just went blank like she was trying to understand it. “What are you talking about? I was there.”

“And I was shown what really happened. He didn’t touch you. Would I make peace with the man that abused my daughter in such a way?”

“I never thought about it. I didn’t think you knew.”

“I did know and I’m not the only one.”

Of course she looked right at me and I guess we were talking about it now. I just hoped she would believe us.

“You’ve seen?”

“Ryon showed me. He went a little nuts when he heard about it because of how well he already knew my father. He didn’t think he could have and he was right. Whatever you saw, whatever you remember, didn’t happen.”

“But—”

“Do you remember before that, when he took you away from me and Kathryn was trying to comfort you?”

“Yes.”

“Do you remember taking something from my father and drinking it?”

Her eyes became distant like she was trying to look into the past on a night she never wanted to remember. “I remember crying nearly uncontrollably and yes, he did hand something to me with saying it would help and I tried to drink it.”

“It was a tonic to help you relax. Everything you remember that happened off of that couch, didn’t. You collapsed there and he carried you over to the bed.”

“Why did I wake up naked?”

“My mother got you out of the dress and she and my father spent the rest of the night in the bathhouse with the bath she initially drew up for you.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes. Ryon was with you all night. He watched you, that’s why he was so in disbelief when I told him what you told me and he looked back on it with me present so I could see it too. Even Darius was there.”

“So, everyone knows about my stupid nightmare?”

“Is that what you think it was?”

“I wouldn’t think that both of you would stand here and lie to me just to make me feel better about talking to him.”

“Of course not.” Her father said. “You had to know the truth so you would stop being afraid and help Izin see that you were made for his son.”

“How am I supposed to do that?”

“Just talk to him.”

“About what? Sorry I look like my dead mother and it makes you uncomfortable?”

“Less direct but perhaps.”

“Please, Love. If this is what it takes to make it happen, isn’t it worth it?”

“But just instantly stop being afraid? How can I?”

“Think of it like this.” Her father said. “He’s more afraid of you but be warned, he’s not going to show it. He’s probably going to be mean and make you look down on yourself but you know the truth, you know why he’s acting this way and you just have to call him on it. Be strong like the woman you are. He’ll see that you’re not your mother and you’re right.”

“I’d like to think I’m like her.”

“You are in some ways. I see it every day, more so when you smile but you’re not going to show him that side. You’re going to show him the side you grew into.”

“You want me to tell off the Senian King?”

“We want you to be yourself and stand up for what you want. Take another look because he’s standing right here.”

She looked at me and I was seeing the true her again; strong and confident. I knew she wanted this. I always knew but now she did too.

“Where do I find him?”

Chapter 16

Adele

Kathryn showed me to the room I thought I’d never find myself back in. She was sweet. A part of me was glad nothing ever happened but I still felt like it was real and being back in this room didn’t help.

I didn’t see him at first but she assured me he was in here and dropped a pair of gold and diamond cuff links in my hand before slipping out without a sound.

I stood motionless with an open hand, waiting for something to happen then his voice echoed farther in. “Kathryn! Have you seen my favorite pair of—” He stopped still with those familiar eyes in wonderment and maybe even a little angered. “Cuff links.”

I fought myself from smiling. I didn’t come here to show that side of me. “Looking for these?”

Those eyes slightly narrowed but he didn’t approach me to get them. “It’s fine. I have plenty others.” He turned to a wall of drawers and opened the thinnest one that had rows of different cuff links inside.

I knew one thing for sure, this is definitely where Zayden gets his stubbornness from. It annoyed me in a normal way and I approached him, taking his wrist and turning his hand so I could put them on him myself. “They’re your favorite. It shouldn’t matter who delivers them.”

He stood still and let me. “What are you doing here?”

“I think you already know.”

“The answer is no.”

I aggressively took his other wrist and put on the other link. “I love your son and no matter what you say, that won’t change.”

“Perhaps but no matter what you say, you’ll never be right for him.”

“Why because I’m like my mother?”

He paused briefly before bellowing his voice. “You are not Cynthia! In fact, you’re nothing like her! I knew it the first time you ever spoke to me and I’m sad for you.”

“Why?”

“You have her serenity and kindness running through your veins but you’ve turned your back on it to become a killer and that’s fueled with your inseparable hate and rage.”

“Well, that hate and rage led me to Zayden and I wouldn’t take it back.”

“You need to leave. Pack up your belongings and get out of my city.”

He walked around me like he was going to leave. I couldn’t let him. It wasn’t about me being like my mother, it was about me not being like her and I turned, raising my voice at him in a way that showed even myself that I wasn’t afraid. “You’re being selfish!”

“Am I?”

“Yes! You’re trying too hard to make sure she’s not a part of your life when she always will be!”

“Not in you.”

“But she is. I never turned my back on her ways. She taught me how to love no matter what the circumstance and I’ve loved Zayden for longer than you really know. I won’t let anyone stand in my way.”

“I know where you’re coming from, I really do but you’re not prepared for this as much as you think. Being a Senian Princess isn’t just about getting Zayden. She has duties and responsibilities she must maintain to show her people her commitment, her devotion to her role as the country’s leading lady. They don’t know you and what they do know, sends them into silent chaos and panic. You weren’t built for this life.”

“I grew up in this life. I can behave like high society. I just chose to leave it because of my job.”

“And your job is what is going to make everyone always fear you. It’s far too late to hide it.”

“Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it as long as you let me have Zayden. Please. I need him. My future needs him.”

He was silent but nor was he looking at me. “I am sorry.”

Even after this he still refused. I didn’t know what I could do but say the one thing I hoped I wouldn’t regret. “If you’re not going to do it for me or even Zayden then do it for the life of your grandson.”

He looked at me this time rather abruptly. His eyes were wider than I’ve ever seen like he was in disbelief.

“Let me show you.” I knelt to the floor where I stood and took out the two vials Trever had given me last night while we danced. I made a circle with the herb and added a drop of Zayden’s blood then a drop of my own with a small dagger. I took the flame from the closest candle and lit up the herb, all the while, Izin stood still. He didn’t say a word, he didn’t move, he only watched.