Free Fall (14 page)

“I think he's gone.”

“Yeah.”

“I'm glad he's not busy eating you.”

“Because you'd miss me?”

“Because you'd have given him indigestion.”

“Ha ha.”

Sara pushed in beside Matt and threw herself and her big old belly right at Lily, who just barely managed to catch her. “Oh, my God, Lily Rose! You were nearly eaten alive!”

Lily patted her sister's bump. “Don't get too excited, I'm still here.”

Then Gwyneth pushed her way through. “Heard you were almost bear bait,” she said, toughlike, then folded like a cheap suitcase as she sank to the snow and hugged Lily hard. “You enjoy giving me gray hair, don't you?”

“I live for it. Sorry you didn't inherit tonight.”

Gwyneth looked around at the resort and sighed.
“Yeah. Next time make sure to scare a hungrier bear, could you?” Then she hugged Lily again, hard.

Aunt Debbie joined them. “Look at you, front and center, as usual.”

“Yeah, I'm so desperate for attention, I asked that bear to meet me at the trash bin.”

“You didn't ask to be Grandma's sole heir either, but that's what happened.”

Lily's smile faded. “True enough.”

Gwyneth, either oblivious or trying to relieve the sudden tension, sighed at the scene. “Would you look at the mess?”

One of the two garbage bags had ripped, spilling some of its contents onto the ground, already getting covered with snow. And yet it wasn't the bear or their guests on Lily's mind now.

It was Aunt Debbie and her quiet resentment. Gwyneth and her not-so-quiet resentment.

And the fact that Lily herself felt a sudden and nearly overwhelming resentment toward them all. She looked into Logan's warm, concerned eyes and shook her head to his silent question. She was fine. She always was.

But for the first time in her life, it wasn't the mountain making her fine. No, a man was doing that.

A man who was leaving tomorrow.

L
OGAN WATCHED
Lily gather all her family and staff back inside, asking them to reassure the guests, who were watching from behind the safety of the windows of the bar and common room. “Just in case the big bastard comes back,” she told him quietly. “Don't want anyone else to become bear dinner, either.”

Seeing the strain in her expression, he stroked a hand up her back. He didn't think it was the bear incident, but rather whatever had flickered between her and her sister and aunt. “You hanging in?”

“Yeah.” She leaned into him for a moment. “So what were you making that noise with? The one that scared him off?”

“Matt told me you'd gone out. He gave me his flashlight. When I saw you and the bear at a standoff, I banged it on the recycling bins behind you.”

She smiled. “Quick thinking.” Then she pressed her face into his shirt and inhaled, as if he was better than air.

“You weren't so bad yourself.” His hand came up and cupped her head, holding her close when she might have pulled back. “Cool, calm, just like always. Do you ever panic?”

“I was plenty panicked. I just didn't want to be munched on by a bear, that's all.” She lifted her head and smiled. “I'd better remind everyone to be careful out there.”

He watched her move through the common room, running her world in her usual love-me-as-I-am way, joking and sweetly sarcastic yet firm and in charge.

And utterly unaware of the fact he couldn't take his eyes off her.

Tonight would be their last night, and he had no idea if she even realized it. He'd thought to leave the lodge without regrets, but it turned out he had one big one.

Leaving her.

How many times had he promised her that this thing was for fun only? He'd be lying if he gave her that promise now, tonight. It'd been a good long time since he'd felt the urge to put a woman through the stress of fitting into his life, but now he could admit that maybe he hadn't wanted to put himself through it, either. At the moment, he couldn't remember why.

Near the roaring fire, Lily sat perched on the edge of the couch, chatting and laughing with a handful of guests. She tossed her head back when she laughed, giving it her all. She always gave her all.

And yet she'd held back with him, big-time.

But he'd held back, too. Now they had only one night left, and he didn't want to hold back anything. Needing their last few hours all to himself, he walked over to her, drew her up and brought her fingers to his mouth.

Her eyelashes fluttered down over her eyes, but
not before he saw the surprise and pleasure flickering there. “What can I do for you, Mr. Logan White?”

“Anything you want,” he murmured in her ear. “As long as you're naked.”

A blush rose over her cheeks, which he found not only adorable but also an unbearable turn-on, given all they'd done. He didn't touch her other than her hand, and that in itself teased him into an erection. “And wet,” he added in a barely-there whisper. “I want you really wet.”

“Excuse me,” she said to the guests, grabbing his hand and taking him into the office wing, then past that to her apartment. They kept stopping to kiss, to whisper breathless promises, to touch and tease some more, until Logan could hardly breathe.

At her door, she stopped to search her pockets for her key while he used the opportunity to step up close behind her and cup her breasts, stroke her nipples.

“Stop that.” She sounded breathless as she fumbled with the key, trying to get it into the lock.

“Really?” He tugged at the tight, taut peaks. “You want me to stop?”

“Okay, don't even think about it.” She closed her eyes and pressed her bottom back, grinding into his crotch. “Don't you dare.”

There was no one in the dimly lit hallway. Smiling against her neck, he slid his hands down her back, squeezed her squeezable ass and dipped his fingers between her thighs.

She dropped her forehead to her door and arched back into him. “Please,” she gasped. “Help me get us inside.”

Instead, he went beneath her sweater and another soft camisole to cup her bare breasts while he scraped his teeth over the side of her neck.

“Oh.” She trembled, a reaction that brought out more heat and added a shocking amount of tenderness to the mix, as well. “Logan, I…I can't open the door.”

He skimmed his thumbs over her nipples again, and she dropped the key.

“Uh-oh,” he tsked. “Better get that.”

When she bent for it, he gripped her waist and rocked his hips to her ass. She moaned and whipped around, shoving the key at him. The moment he got the door open, she dragged him inside, slammed the door, then pushed him back against it, biting his throat as she tore at his shirt. “Hurry. Now.”

He'd wanted to take this slow, but he was fired up now, hungry and desperate. Shaking with it. She got his shirt halfway unbuttoned and off his shoulders, trapping his arms while she went to work on his pants.

“Lily—” The word clogged in his throat along with his breath when she wrapped her hand around his erection and stroked. Then she dropped to her knees, freed him completely and took him in her mouth.

Staggering back against the closed door, all he managed was a groan. He shrugged out of his shirt and sank his fingers into her hair, dying when she swirled her tongue around the tip of him. Hauling her up, he swallowed her protest with his mouth. “We want to make this last more than two seconds,” he said, and tossed her to the bed, coming down on top of her, pinning her hands with his to hold her wriggling, gorgeous body still as he slowly removed
her shirt and camisole—sunshine-yellow this time—absorbing her low moans of pleasure when he tasted each new section of skin he exposed. Then he clamped his mouth on her breast and sucked hard. She slid her fingers into his hair and arched up, giving him better access as she wrapped her legs around his hips, trying to rock against him.

“Not fast this time.” He shuddered when she rocked again, but somehow found the strength to hold back. “I'm going to take you slowly, damn it.” He licked her nipple, then blew on the wet peak. “
Very
slowly. And you're going to let me. You're going to watch.”

“Logan—” Under him, she writhed, her hands in his hair still fisted tightly, her belly quivering as he made his way down her torso, her ribs, nipping her as he went, soothing the little love bites with his tongue. When he got to her ski pants, he unfastened them, kissed the bare skin he found there beneath her belly button and then tugged the pants off her hips, exposing yellow satin panties.
Wet
yellow satin panties. With a groan, he lowered those, too, and stroked a finger over the trimmed, soft hair between her thighs.

Beneath him, she fought to open her legs, but the pants and panties at her thighs kept her captive. “Logan,
please
.”

“I will please,” he promised and swept his tongue over her, into her.

Whatever she'd been about to say caught in her throat as again he danced his tongue across her, and then again and again, until she began to come.

And still he stroked her with his tongue, slowly now, bringing her down with soft kisses until her muscles trembled wildly but loosely, until she let go of her tight fistfuls of the sheets at her sides. He rose up to his knees, removed her pants and lifted her hips, spreading her so that he could sink in deep.

A total and complete homecoming, he thought, as her moan melded with his. He cupped her face, sank his fingers into her hair, loving that she didn't close her eyes but met his as they took each other, fast now, hard, too, gasping with each thrust, letting out wordless demands and cries of pleasure as they breathed each other's air. There was a look in her whiskey eyes that gripped his heart and held on as she cried out and began to come again, freeing him. He watched her go over as fiercely as she did everything in her life, her eyes open and opaque on his, shattering with utter abandon, taking him with her. Always taking him with her.

 

M
UCH LATER
,
THEY TOOK A SHOWER
together. Lily took great pleasure in Logan's long, leanly muscled body, all wet and gleaming.

Luckily for her, he appeared to feel the same way. His soap-covered hands ran over her shoulders, digging into the knots there, then dallied at her breasts, tugging lightly on her nipples, making her knees wobble. “We'll kill each other,” she murmured, and he laughed softly.

“Yeah, but what a way to go.”

He had her there. His magic hands turned her away from him, lifting her arms to the tile wall at
about shoulder height. “Stay,” he whispered in her ear and glided his hands down her spine, over her buttocks, down her legs and then back up again, between her thighs now.

Already halfway to orgasm from the feel of his big, warm, soapy hands stroking her drenched body, she thrust back against him, the breath sawing in and out of her lungs, thinking,
Now, now, now, please now
.

“Mmm, I love your body, Lily.”

“Just don't stop.”

“I don't intend to.” As the water rained over them, washing away the soap, he nibbled at the back of her thigh, lightly bit the curve of her butt, all while playing her with those hot, knowing fingers. She strained toward him, both perplexed and furious that he could so effortlessly hold her there on the edge. “Damn it, Logan.”

Surging up, he whipped her around, pressing her between the cold tile wall and his hot, wet body to thrust himself home. “I want you.” Chest heaving, he pressed his jaw to hers. “I always want you, it's never enough.”

Never
was a terrifying word, and the right one, and all her temper drained. “I know.
I know
.” Steam rose around them so she had to blink to see him clearly as she cupped his face.

Eyes fierce and impossibly dark, his broad shoulders and back protecting her from the pounding water, he began to move, gripping her hips with his hands as he destroyed her with long, hard strokes. He took her mouth, pulling back only to whisper her name, just her name, and from inside an emotion
banked, swelled as he emptied himself into her. And with pleasure and need and love spreading to burst within her, she followed him over.

L
OGAN WOKE UP TO SOMEONE
swearing like a sailor. Lily. She tossed her walkie-talkie to a chair and stalked the length of the room naked. From what he gathered, the weather was the “son of a bitch.”

He sat up and looked outside. Pure white, halfway up the windows. “Wow.”

“It surprised everyone,” she said. “Even the weather forecasters. We've got harsh winds, heavy drifts of up to four feet over the icy snow we already had. Of course, the two days' worth of sun we had first didn't help—fresh snow over ice is never good.” She came back to the bed and shook her head, looking lean and toned and beautiful. “It's rare, but we're shut down. Totally shut down. Now I've got patrollers worrying about avalanches, people whining about not being able to get here, a chef freaking out because the food didn't get delivered, guests not able to get out—” She broke off and looked at him as it dawned on her—he was one of those people who wouldn't be able to get out. “We'll get you to your flight,” she said quickly, and began shimmying into a pair of pants. “Don't worry.” She wasn't looking at him now, instead getting dressed as fast as she could.

With a sigh, he got out of the bed and went to her. She stared at his throat, then ran her finger over the skin there. “I left a mark,” she said softly. “I bit you and left a mark.”

“Then I'll have something to remember you by.”

Her face went carefully blank.

He tried to draw her close but she danced back, shaking her head as she finished getting dressed.

“No regrets, right?” She smiled. “Just fun. Look, I've got to go. I have to get out there.”

“I can help.”

“No, you've done too much for us. For me.”

“Maybe I like to.” Again, he tried to pull her close but she was having none of it.

“I'll let you know when you can get out.” She grabbed her shoes and shut the door behind her.

“So brave.” He sank to the bed and pulled on his clothes. “And such a damn coward at the same time.” One last time, he looked around at Lily's bedroom, at the rumpled bed where they'd made love. Everything inside him ached, but he left the room without looking back.

In the common room, a fire warmed the hearth. People milled around, talking softly in the early morning, staring out the windows in disbelief at the amount of snow that had fallen the night before.

The light outside had shifted from a dark predawn glow to a sort of gauzy gray light as the sun strained but failed to get through the layer of clouds and snow.

Gwyneth was there, moving through toward the offices with a clipboard in her hand. He stopped her. “Can I help?”

Looking a little frazzled, she managed a smile. “Can you get Mother Nature to take a nap? No? Then just enjoy.”

He pulled on his jacket and headed outside. There he found Lily organizing a crew to clear the walk-ways and parking lot. Much to her dismay, he grabbed a shovel. “Hey,” she said, already shaking her head. “You don't need to—”

“Stop it. I'm here. I'm helping.”

She stared at him for a long moment, then apparently decided she couldn't change his mind, and they all got to work. It took hours, removing snow as it continued to come down. They didn't talk, they couldn't, there was no opportunity. But Logan was painfully aware that if it hadn't been for the storm, he'd have been already gone.

By midday, they finally began to get ahead of the snowfall. Exhausted and starving, they took a break for lunch.

Sitting in the cafeteria at a couple of long tables, they all consumed mass quantities of calories to refuel after the heavy work. Lily sat at the table with a clipboard, dividing up new assignments, when Sara came waddling through. Lily lifted her head and glared at her sister. “Why the hell are you here?”

“Last I checked, I work here.” Sara smiled, but sighed when Lily didn't give. “Okay, so we never left last night. After Matt's shift, the snow was already too bad, so we just stayed over. Don't worry, Mama, I didn't go out in this.”

“See that you don't.” Lily pointed at her belly.
“And don't even think about going into labor, do you hear me?”

“Aye, aye, Captain!”

“I mean it, Sara.”

“So do I.” Because Lily was still just scowling at her, Sara moved in and hugged her tight. “Don't worry, no delivering any babies for you, not today. You have enough to worry about with people stuck trying to get here, or stuck trying to get out, Aunt Debbie included. Matt's worried about getting his supplies. Oh, and speaking of my husband, do you know where he is?”

Lily looked over the faces at the table and frowned. “He was helping clear snow, and then said something about Debbie wanting a snowmobile ride. I'll check.”

“Don't worry, I'll radio them.”

When she'd gone, Lily used her phone to get the latest weather report, then stood up and addressed her staff. “Okay, listen up. The highways are still closed, including the 80 from the summit to Verdi. Snow's still coming down, obviously, thick and wet. Sierra cement, our favorite. According to the radar, we should get a break in an hour or so for a while, enough to open the 80 for a bit, anyway.” She looked at Logan, and he knew she was thinking about him getting to the airport. “At that time, people will be able to get out, and the new guests in. Expect mass confusion and grumpiness from all corners.”

“Even yours?”

Lily lifted a brow at Chris. “Want a double shift?”

“Jeez, just kidding.” Chris lowered his cap and went back to shoveling in food.

Lily pushed away her untouched tray and moved to leave, but Logan grabbed her hand. “Come on, sit down and eat.”

“I'm too busy—”

“Eat.” Not taking no for an answer, he tugged her down next to him and put her tray back in front of her.

On the pretense of stroking back a strand of hair, he outlined her ear with his finger. She'd run a Sno-Cat today, operated a huge snowblower and shoveled as much snow as he had. “You're pushing yourself pretty hard.”

A shoulder jerked. “Not really.”

“Lily.”

Her eyes closed a moment, and then she looked at him, really looked at him, and he saw what he'd been looking for. A devastating flash of emotion that would have brought him to his knees if he'd been standing. “Ah, Lily—”

“Don't,” she whispered furiously. “Damn it, don't say a word or I'll lose it. I mean it.” She shoved another bite in and looked straight ahead as she chewed, chasing the food down with his water. Then she shoved the tray back and stood. “Let's go, ace. We have more snow removal to do.”

He figured that was the only invitation he was going to get to stick close. Together they took one of the Sno-Cats and worked on clearing the closed section of the entrance road. Inside the cat, they were high above the ground, in two bucket seats, surrounded by controls that he knew nothing about but that Lily worked as if she'd been born to it. The air
was warm and close, the heater blasting, the windows half-fogged. They stripped out of their jackets and gloves, then Lily went back to working the controls with the same quiet, fierce intensity with which she'd made love to him only hours before.

“You know, much as you keep clearing, it's going to keep falling,” he said lightly, hoping for a smile.

She just shot him a long glance before going back to clearing as if her life depended on it. They'd already rescued no less than six stranded cars and were working on clearing the parking lot to unstrand a whole bunch more when the radio chirped with word that the 80 had just opened and wasn't expected to stay that way for long.

“This is your chance to get out,” she said to the window.

Outside, the snow had stopped falling, for now, but everything around them—the roads, the trees, the signs—was a solid, frozen white wonderland, clear and ice-cold. Lily pulled to a hut in the parking lot, and though she hit the brake, she did not turn off the cat. “Better hurry.” There was a hint of impatience in her voice.

He looked at her, astonished. “You want me to hurry and leave?”

“You have a flight, damn it. You need to go.
Now
. I cleared a path for your rental car.”

“So this whole damn thing, the whole last six hours of mind-numbing work and effort, was so that you could get me out?”

“Yes.”

He was stunned.

“Well, what's so strange about that? You have to go.”

“Yeah, I do. You know, I figure there's two possible reasons for this. You're either tired of me…” She didn't move, didn't even blink. “…or you're more terrified of what we've shared than I thought.”

She stared at him for another beat, then turned straight ahead again, giving away nothing except the fact she was chewing on her lower lip. “This is a bad time to discuss this.”

“
Scared
,” he decided, lifting a brow when she whipped her head to him, piercing him with a look.

“I'm not.” She said this through her teeth. “I've told you, nothing scares me.”

Uh-huh. Except, he was guessing, anything that even remotely resembled matters of the heart.
Well, welcome to the club, sweetheart
. He hadn't been lonely before he'd met her, and hadn't felt particularly unfulfilled.

But even after just a week with this woman, he knew he'd been changed forever. “Something this good isn't worth doing only halfway, Lily.” The words and the intent behind them no longer surprised him. Having feelings for someone didn't have to be a burden.

Not with someone like Lily.

“Tell me you haven't forgotten this was just for fun,” she said.

“Why? So you can walk away from this, no regrets? Just chalk it up to another fun time had by all?”

“Logan…what choice do we have?”

“There are always choices. Always,” he said softly, looking right at her, through her, to the scared
woman inside. “All you have to do is want it bad enough. Deep down you know that, you've lived like that.
Lily
.” Squeezing her fingers with his, he reached up and touched her face with his free hand. “I don't want to let this go.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them. “It's only been a week.”

“Exactly. I want more. Let's go with this thing, see where it takes us.”

“You're going back to Ohio. Avery long way away.”

“That's not a good enough reason to walk away.”

“It is for me.” And she hopped out of the cat.

 

L
ILY TOOK TWO STEPS OUT OF
the cat, sank deep into the snow up to her thighs, swore lavishly, then got back into the machine and met Logan's gaze. He didn't want to let this go, she thought in panic. Oh, my God, he really didn't. “This is crazy.
Stupid
.”

She marveled at that for a moment as she warmed back up. She'd let him see the real her this week. She'd let him because she hadn't seen the danger in it. And now he'd seen her, faults and all, and he still wanted her. The unbelievable draw of that began to lure her in, and her breath hitched. “This isn't a nice joke.”

“It's not a joke at all. I know what's eating you.”

“Do you? Do you really?”

“You think you have to keep everything fun and light. You think you have to fight all emotional ties because they bind, they restrict. But I don't want to hold you back or tell you what you should and shouldn't do. You're a grown woman, a beautiful,
smart, incredible woman, and I want you just the way you are.”

“Why?”

He blinked. “Why?”

“You've told me yourself you don't do deep relationships. After raising your siblings and then doing the sort of work you do, having someone want you on a daily basis is too much like a burden.”

“I didn't say that,” he said. “I never called love a burden.”

“It was implied.”

“Okay, I'll agree, it can be, if it's done one-sided. I've seen too much of that, Lily. Too many of my close friends burned because of unrealistic expectations. But that's not what I'm interested in here. I want a strong, independent woman who has her own goals and dreams, ones that don't depend on mine but can mesh with them.”

“My life wouldn't mesh with anyone's.”

“It would if you wanted it to.”

And wasn't that just the crux. Her heart was beating hard and unnaturally heavy. “I've never wanted it to.”

“Me, either. Before you.”

Oh, God. The oddest feeling came over her, as if someone was dangling this big, fat, beautiful carrot in front of her, close enough to reach.

But what if it was poisonous? What if it grew teeth and bit her?

Then he capped her panic. “I think I'm falling in love with you, Lily.”

Her mouth fell open. But it was the oddest thing, she still couldn't breathe.

“I wasn't looking for you, but it doesn't seem to matter. I found you.”

Her throat burned and she shook her head, trying one last time to reason with him. “Easy words.”

“You think so?” His eyes glittered with temper now. “You think they're just flying out of my mouth?”

“Okay, maybe
easy
was the wrong word.
Dangerous
.”

“No, my job is dangerous. Your job is dangerous. That's just a fact. What I'm feeling for you has nothing to do with any of that. You can't die from it.”

Then why did her heart ache so badly she felt as though she was going to?

“Look, Lily, I came here feeling restless. Like maybe I was floundering a bit, but I didn't know why. I know now.”

He was killing her slowly. Torturously. Doing exactly what he'd said he wouldn't. She covered her face with her hands. He was hurting her. “It's only been six nights. Seven days.” And a thousand memories.