Hardboiled: Not Your Average Detective Story (The Lillim Callina Chronicles Book 5) (4 page)

“Uh… huh,” the hostess replied, looking down at the reservation book. It resembled one of those old fashioned black leather-bound tomes. She turned a page and her eyes widened for a split second. Her head jerked up so suddenly that her white top hat nearly toppled off her head.

“You have the executive table,” she said and paused, biting her lip. “How? You have to book that like four months in advance…”

“I have ways,” Caleb said, waving her off. “This is a special occasion. My girlfriend just finished her first day of high school.”

The hostess smiled, nodding at us like we were dignitaries. “Well then, I’ll make sure the chef stops by to wish her a happy first day,” she said, stepping out from behind the booth and making her way through a red satin curtain with us in tow.

“I’m surprised they got in,” whispered a voice behind me. “The wait is over four hours… even if you have reservations.”

I glanced back over my shoulder as the curtain fell closed behind me and had to resist the urge to smirk. Dating the God of Space and Time certainly had its perks. A moment later, we were standing beside a table, and as Caleb pulled my chair out to help me sit, a waiter came by and offered us menus. Then he stood there awkwardly, staring at us for so long it was unnerving. Wasn’t he supposed to ask us if we wanted water or something and then scurry off so we could look at our menus?

“And what will you two have for dinner, sir?” the waiter said finally, lips pursed in an almost sneer beneath his thin black mustache.

“The lady will have the Rabbit in the Hat,” Caleb said, pointing across the table at me, and I nodded a slight confirmation at him because I hadn’t even had a chance to look at the menu. He smiled before continuing. “I’ll have the Table of Death.”

“Very good, sir,” the waiter replied, making notes on a pad before turning on his heel and hustling away in a blur of white coattails.

“Well, I guess we’re not getting drinks,” Caleb said as the waiter disappeared through a pair of double doors that led out of the room.

“Guess not,” I said, smirking at him from across the table. “The Table of Death is nothing but fried food,” I added when he glanced up from his empty water cup. “Trying to give yourself a heart attack?”

Caleb smiled, leaning across the crimson tablecloth and taking my hands in his. The feel of his touch made a small shiver run down my spine. “I’m immortal now. I don’t think a little fried food is going to hurt me.”

“You’re welcome,” I replied because it never hurt to remind him of my hand in the whole making-him-a-god thing. “So how did you find this place?” I asked, swiveling around in my chair to take in the room. It was small, only about six tables situated u-shaped around a mahogany stage with a red satin curtain. Those other tables were all filled with couples, some in suits and gowns and others in jeans and t-shirts.

The maroon walls were decorated with huge black and white photographs of famous magicians. Various other props that looked straight out of a David Copperfield extravaganza took up space that could have been used for tables. The furniture itself, in contrast to the antique props, was all sleek black metal.

“I read about it somewhere,” he said, leaning back in his chair and stretching. The movement made his navy polo strain against his chest, revealing the hard muscle beneath. “It’s called Magic Eaters. Evidently there’s a show, too.”

“You need to stop doing that,” I said, averting my eyes as a blush spread across my face.

“Doing what?” he asked, brows knitted together in confusion as he leaned forward and put his elbows on the table, which, I’m pretty sure, was a huge faux pas.

“Wearing those tight shirts and stretching,” I replied, trailing the fingers of my left hand along his forearm. “You might start to give me ideas.”

He grinned at me and was about to say something when the lights dimmed. The curtain parted, splitting down the center like a ragged gash. A stream of doves exploded from the darkness and flew over our heads in a quick semi-circle before darting back inside. I glanced at Caleb to see if he was responsible, but he was just staring at the curtain with a curious look on his face. Was this just part of the show then?

A huge spotlight came on, illuminating the center of the stage as the rest of the restaurant went pitch black. The fan over my head kicked in, filling my ears with the sound of howling wind as a voice crackled to life.

“Welcome,” it said, and it was like a soothing breeze on a hot summer’s day.

There was a flash of white light that made spots dance across my eyes like little multi-colored polka dots, and just like that, a man was standing in the center of the stage with his back to us. He was covered from head to toe in a sequined red suit, complete with a red top hat and white gloves. The smell of cotton candy filled the air as he spun, one arm outstretched, and pointed a gnarled tree-branch at us. His face was completely covered by one of those sad porcelain masks that you usually see paired with a happy mask.

“Welcome,” he repeated, his other hand clutching a black and white microphone. “To Magic Eaters, where the tricks are the treats!” He moved to grab something from his pocket, but as he did so, he seemed to realize his hands were full.

He looked out at us, eyes pleading and shrugged his shoulders. “Pardon me,” he said and flung the microphone into the air. It flew right at me. My heart pounded in my chest as I ducked to the side. That’s when I noticed pretty much everyone else was doing the same thing.

The microphone stopped, hovering a few inches above my table… and everyone else’s. The crowd began to clap as the magician reached into his pocket and pulled out a white handkerchief.

“Behold, for this is no ordinary cloth,” he said, and his words melted through the room like chocolate cream. “It is a magic cloth.” He flung it upward, and as it drifted downward, it began to change color. First green, then blue, then red as it drifted downward into the magician’s hand.

He snatched the now crimson cloth out of the air and flicked his wrist. A sound like a gunshot exploded through the air as the cloth grew to the size of a cape.

“Behold, our first trick,” he said, waving the gnarled branch at us with his free hand while wrapping the cape around himself. “Please put on your masks.”

The crowd broke into murmurs as we turned to look at our tables. There was a black, masquerade-style mask sitting atop my plate. I hadn’t even seen anyone put it there. A tremor edged its way down my spine like an icy snail as I glanced up at Caleb.

“Did you see him do that?” I mouthed.

He shook his head, a look of worry flashing across his face as he lifted the mask hesitantly between two fingers and surveyed it. How could Caleb have not seen it? He controlled time.

“Seems fine,” he mouthed a moment later, and a wave of relief washed over me. If Caleb wasn’t worried, why should I be? At least, that’s what I tried to tell myself. Unfortunately, it didn’t stick because, even though Caleb was basically a god, he was still a little dull.

Caleb pressed the mask against his face, and it adhered to his skin with a wet-sounding snap, the black plastic sucking onto him like a living thing. He recoiled as I dropped my mask. It hit the table with a sound that reminded me of a wet sponge.

“Is there a problem, Miss?” the magician asked. I looked up to see him standing right over me. In fact, everyone was staring at me.

“Um… no, just having a mix-up with my mask,” I murmured, my voice catching in my throat.

“Good,” he replied. His kabuki mask leered at me as he picked up my black masquerade mask and offered it to me. “I wouldn’t want you to have a problem, Miss Callina.”

Chapter 4

I gingerly took the mask from him. Instead of leaving, he stared at me with piercing crimson eyes while I stuck it to my face. It felt like an octopus had clamped onto my face with its tentacles.

“There, all better,” the magician said, patting me on the head like a puppy with his free hand. He turned away from me, addressing the crowd with a voice that seemed too loud and forceful for the enclosed space. “For this next trick, the beautiful, the daring, the ravishing Miss Lillim Callina is going to assist me.” He glanced at me, a smirk in his blood-red eyes.

Before I could even wonder how he’d known my name, he seized me by the wrist and yanked me to my feet. He waved his tree branch over me, and sanguine smoke engulfed me. I sucked in a breath that tasted like old candy canes and egg nog and nearly gagged.

The crowd gasped as the fog faded away, leaving me standing there dumbfounded next to the grinning magician. I was about to ask what happened when I saw myself reflected in his eyes.

I looked down and screamed. I was wearing a blue-sequined one-piece bathing suit and thigh-high blue leather boots. I reached out toward him with hands covered by blue leather gloves. “What did you do to my clothes?” I asked, but my question went unanswered as he grabbed my outstretched hand and waved his branch again.

The crowd cheered as we reappeared onstage. The lights were so bright it was nearly blinding. I turned toward him, my hands balling into fists as he flicked his wrist. A blue top hat with a white sequin band appeared in his hand, and without a word, he placed it on my head.

I stood there like an idiot because, honestly, part of me couldn’t really compute what was happening. Had I really just been changed into a stage hand by a magician in a restaurant… magically?

“Behold,” the magician cackled, yanking the top hat off my head. I nearly screamed as a trio of doves exploded from beneath the hat. They flew around the room, trailing bright purple streamers before two of them returned and landed on my shoulders.

“Uh… nice birdies,” I murmured as the soulless eyes of the doves stared me down. The third bird landed at my feet. I watched as it took one awkward bird-step toward me before vanishing in a puff of blue smoke. I screeched and stepped back as a huge form began to rise up through the bird-mist. It reached one hand out toward me, fingers curling as it took a step forward.

“What the hell is going on?” I screamed, my heart hammering away so hard that it actually hurt. Behind me, the crowd cheered. Evidently, they all thought this was part of the show. Swell. If something went down, they would be of no help. Then again, what did I expect a crowd full of restaurant patrons to do for me anyway?

The magician waved the hat at the mist, fanning it away to reveal my boyfriend, Caleb, standing before me in a blue tuxedo. He glanced around, a look of confusion painted on his face as he realized where he was. His hands went down to his body as if checking to make sure all the important bits were still there.

“What the hell?” he murmured as we made eye contact and an unsaid question flashed across his face. “Do you know what’s going on?”

I shook my head, and his eyes narrowed. Caleb turned toward the magician, face hardening as blue-white flames leapt out from beneath his feet, spreading out across the stage like liquid fire.

The magician took a step back, landing with a flourish that brought him into a low bow and the crowd burst into applause as Caleb took one menacing step toward him. The magician rose, tapping his mask with his branch. Sigils burst to life along the length of his branch, glowing with eerie crimson light. His mask transformed into the face of a leering Cyclops, one huge eye visible in the center of his forehead.

“And for my next trick,” the magician boomed, the cyclopean eye swiveling around to focus on Caleb. The magician tapped his hat with the still glowing branch. “I’ll make the Blue Prince disappear!” A tornado exploded from the tip of his hat, spiraling outward toward Caleb.

My boyfriend screamed, falling to his knees as the flames enveloping him were sucked into the hat in a spinning vortex of blue fire.

“Stop!” I screamed. “You’ll kill him!”

“Oh?” the magician asked, flinging the hat out into the crowd. It circled the room in a low arc as Caleb began to fade in color, his skin becoming more ethereal with each moment. “Is that what I’m going to do?” he asked. His voice was so low, I was pretty sure I was the only one who could hear him.

“Yes!” I cried.

The hat circled back. He caught it and slammed it down on Caleb’s head with a flourish. There was a hiss, like steam escaping from a broken valve, and Caleb exploded into a million flitting bits of starlight. The hat fell, drifting listlessly to the floor as streamers of blue light crackled along the ceiling like miniature firecrackers.

The crowd went wild, standing and clapping as the magician bowed low. “Did you know that the lady to my left has fought a dragon before?” he asked, reaching into the hat with one hand. His entire arm disappeared into it until he was up to his shoulder.

“No?” he asked and a hush fell over the crowd. “Well, I’ll prove it.”

My heart fell into my toes. What had he done to Caleb? What was he planning for him? He pulled his arm free. Clutched in his hand was a long sinewy spiked tail. He put one foot against the hat and tugged. With a roar that made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end, a creature the size of a small car ripped free of the hat.

It hit the stage with a thud that echoed across the room. It lay there for a moment before rising and shaking out its lanky blue-black body. The entirety of it was covered in mottled scales and boney black spikes. It turned its enormous head toward me, piercing red eyes narrowed and angry.

“Now, shall we watch as the great Dragonslayer, Lillim Callina fights the evil dragon?” the Magician cried, gesturing at me with his tree branch.

I raised my hands, taking a step backward as smoke enveloped me once again. A wave of heat washed over me, and I flung myself to the side. I hit the stage hard, rolling to my feet, and as I turned to face the creature, it snorted black flame from its nose.

The lights dimmed, and a slow drum beat began to reverberate in the room like a beating heart. The dragon took another step toward me, and its immense bulk caused the stage to creak and strain. I glanced back toward the crowd, but they all stared at me transfixed, eyes glassy and unfocused.

“Great,” I mumbled as the dragon charged. I dodged, slipping by it as it crashed into the wall behind me. Wood shrieked and snapped as I charged at the magician. “What have you done with Caleb?” I cried as I reached him, my hand already arcing out in a punch.