Heaven's Key (Demon Hunter Book 1) (11 page)

I looked straight ahead and pulled my knees up to my chin on the lounger. The sun danced around on the water as the seagulls dove for their breakfast. A battle waged in my mind. I could still get up and leave. Telling my story was going to be hard. Not even Aunt Bevie knew my story. It was time I had someone in my life I trusted and Cole had proven he was worthy. Taking a deep breath, I waded in.

“I wasn’t always this cold-hearted bitch. Once upon a time, I was sweet and naïve. I was a romantic, if you can believe it, and I was also in love with the sweetest boy.” An image of him, all tall and gangly, popped into my mind. He eventually filled out, but when we first met, he was so goofy. “We were high school sweethearts. We met in grade ten and I knew he was the one. I know a lot of sixteen year olds think that about their first love, but I knew. Sure we had our problems and we broke up a couple of times, but we always got back together. It was like I was missing part of me when he wasn’t around. I loved him with everything I had.

“When he asked me to marry him, I never hesitated for a second. It was so corny, looking back on it. He proposed on the Ferris wheel at the fair, but I was nineteen and I thought it was the most romantic thing ever. He got a job in construction and I worked at the local grocery store. We were so poor, but we didn’t care.

“Two years into our marriage, I became pregnant with twins. Two little chubby-faced boys. Their hair was almost white and they had big blue eyes. They looked like two cherubs. You’d think that would put a strain on us, but we were happy. Our family had even more love than before. My boys were my heart and Daddy’s pride and joy. Sure, money was tight and we were always exhausted, but I just had to look at my two little peanuts with smiles on their faces and everything was better.

“By now, Henry was the assistant to the foreman and he was making a little more money. He was also working more hours, but we had two growing boys and we needed the money. They took on the biggest job ever. Some guy from Japan wanted to build a giant resort and spa. It was too big a job for just the regular crew, so they had people come in from all over. Henry was a kind man and he would sometimes bring the odd one home for supper. He was always trying to do for people. He felt he had it all and sharing what we had was the right thing to do.”

“One night, he brought home Jeremy. He seemed nice and normal at first—he was a charmer for sure—but it felt nice to laugh and receive a little harmless attention. Henry had been working a lot lately and I was stuck home all the time with the twins. That first time, nothing happened. I fed the men and then they went out to the garage. I didn’t see him again for almost two weeks.

“That night was the same. We had supper and they went out to the garage and drank some beers while I put the kids to bed. It had been a long day. The boys were teething and they had been fussy all day. I was glad to have them out of my hair so I could relax.

“I was coming out of the nursery and I ran into him. Sometimes they came right to the house and they would still be dirty and sweaty, but this time, they must have stopped by his place. He was wearing a tight black t-shirt and a pair of tight dark jeans. He made my heart beat a little faster. I wasn’t like I am now. I was innocent in a lot of ways. Too many ways. Today, I would have known, but back then… well, I just didn’t see it. He flirted and I blushed. It felt wrong and yet I didn’t know how to stop it.

“He started coming over almost every night. Jeremy and Henry were becoming best buddies. I didn’t like it, but I didn’t know what to do about it. It was like being in a trance the whole time he was around and then, when he was gone, I felt dirty and so guilty. The way he’d look at me across the table. One glance and I’d go wet; an innocent touch, and I had to stop myself from touching him back. I wanted him and I hated him. On some level, I knew he wanted something from me. I thought it was just sex, but he wanted so much more.”

I stopped for a moment. Two seagulls flew just in front of us, dive-bombing the beach, looking for a morning snack. I had told the easy part of the story and I needed a minute before I told the rest. Cole didn’t push me to continue. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. He was sipping his coffee. I could stop now. I could take the keys to the Hellcat and leave. Never have to do this.

I lay there thinking that I might do exactly that, but I had come too far. I needed to do this. I was just scared of what it might do. Just a brief flash of one of my boys’ faces would require a big bottle of gin and a few nights of meaningless sex. What would the whole story do to me? I would deserve whatever pain flooded through the wall I had put up. I cleared my throat.

“This continued for weeks. He’d come over and he and my husband would retire to the garage, but he always found an excuse to come into the house. He always found me alone in a place in the house where he had no right to be. I was stupid. I should have told Henry what he was doing, but I kept thinking that it was my fault. If I had just been more direct, told him he wasn’t welcome, then he’d stop. I never told him that. I just walked away or made an excuse that the kids needed me or I had to be somewhere. Each time, I let it go a little further.

“Brushing a stray hair from my eye led to a hand on my shoulder. One night, he sat with me and his hand trailed up my leg. I never stopped him. I never told him to fuck off. I started flirting back. I laughed at all his jokes and sometimes I’d find my hand on his. One night, he kissed me—just a quick peck—and it shocked me awake. I was throwing my wonderful life away for this drifter. I ran from the room, but I was still a coward. I didn’t tell my husband. Instead, I vowed to be strong the next time Jeremy came over. I was going to tell him to stop, that I wasn’t going to risk my marriage for this little game we were playing.

“A week later, late at night, Henry was called in to work. Some kids had been knocking things over and they stole some tools. He had to make a report with the police. The twins were sleeping and I was just sitting on the couch reading. I looked up and there was Jeremy. I wasn’t alarmed. I thought he must have come home with my husband. I asked where Henry was and he said he was busy.

“I asked him why he was there. He just stared at me. The kind of look that smolders, makes your knees go weak. My heart was pounding. I wanted him, but I knew it was wrong. He smiled and pulled me up onto my feet. I was frozen in place.

“He said, ‘If you were my wife, I’d never leave you unattended. I’d never spend my time away from you when it could be spent in your arms.’ I really was so stupid. I thought it was romantic. Can you imagine a me that would fall for such a cheesy line? He put his arms around me and held me close. Now was my chance to end it; now was the time to tell him to fuck off, but I didn’t. I let him kiss my neck. It felt so good. His hands roamed over my back and down to my ass. I kissed him. I wanted him in that moment. I ached to have him inside me,, but then I thought of my boys and Henry. I couldn’t ruin that over someone I barely knew.

“Somehow, I got the strength to push him back. I told him no. He laughed. He told me I wanted him as much as he wanted me. He said what was the harm? No one would find out. He grabbed me and started kissing me. I started to struggle, but he was strong and I couldn’t get away. Then he was on the ground. Henry had come home and attacked him.

“He just started kicking him and all Jeremy would do was smile at me. He kicked him over and over and Jeremy never even defended himself. He just took it. The whole time, he had this creepy grin on his face. It was like he was telling me, ‘You did this. This is all your fault.’ I had to jump on Henry’s back before he came to his senses. He shrugged me off like I weighed nothing, but he had calmed enough that he just dragged his friend across the room and tossed him out the door.

“I was terrified. I didn’t want this to ruin my marriage. I told him that Jeremy had come in here and I tried to make him stop and he wouldn’t. He was so angry. I had never seen him like this. Henry was always a turn-the-other-cheek kind of guy, but tonight, he wanted revenge. He couldn’t settle down. He paced around the house and then our property as if he was daring him to come back so he could finish him off. I begged him to come inside.

“He said it was his fault for bringing him into our house. We argued and cried together. I finally got him to come to bed. I should have told him the truth. If I had, maybe he wouldn’t have been so angry at Jeremy. I should have confessed to kissing him. To wanting him. Maybe that would have changed what happened, but I couldn’t. I was scared of losing him and, if I’m honest, of what he might have done. He wasn’t himself that night.”

I remembered the fear and despair that had crept into every cell that night. The kind that grips your whole body and squeezes. It’s the terror of knowing something horrific is coming your way, but there isn’t a thing you can do about it. You’ve made a mess of things and now whatever happens will be your fault.

“After hours of watching him lie there, every muscle tensed, his face in a permanent scowl, I drifted off. He must have waited until I was deep asleep, because I didn’t stir when he left. I awoke to his side of the bed being empty. My hand lay on his side of the bed the rest of the night. I drifted in and out and it was my hand I stared at every time I woke up. Then it was morning and, for a little while, all that worry was gone. The sun streamed into our room, warming the side of my face. The smell of bacon and the sound of the twins giggling floated up from the kitchen, causing me to smile. I remember thinking everything must be okay.” That moment of hope came back to me. It tasted bitter this time because I knew what was to follow.

“Throwing on my robe, I ran down the stairs to join them. My body knew something wasn’t right, even if my mind was happily fooled. My heart was beating fast. I remember pressing my fist to my chest as if that might slow it down.”

The tears were streaming down my cheeks, but I couldn’t stop now. It was far too late to go back. “Henry had the wood stove stocked and that made the kitchen warm and cozy. The twins’ pudgy arms reached for me as I walked in. I left them in their highchairs, but kissed their sticky maple syrupy cheeks.” It was all so vivid. I felt like I was back there again. This time, I knew what was coming and there was nothing I could do.

“Henry turned towards me with a big smile, telling me to sit down, my food was almost ready. The coffeemaker was gurgling and the bacon was sizzling; everything was how it should be, but it was not. I awoke to another world that morning. It looked picture perfect. I wanted to believe in the sunshine streaming in the window, but there was a shadow over everything.

“It was like if I squinted real hard, I’d be able to see things for the way they really were, except I didn’t want to. I wanted the illusion to stay in place forever. Slowly, I lowered myself onto my chair. I remember moving so carefully, as if the wrong move would bring the façade crashing down.

“He brought everything to the table, whistling a tune as if it was the best day of his life. When he had everything done, he joined me, planting a cold, wet kiss on my head. Once he was settled, he fished the newspaper from his robe and placed it in front of me. I caught the headline before I could turn away. A large black and white photo took up the whole page. It was a man under a white sheet being placed inside an ambulance. You couldn’t see his face, but I knew it was Jeremy.

“The strangled and beaten body of a drifter was found in a local hotel. I looked from the paper to my husband. Everything but the two of us was out of focus. He was still smiling, but it was mean. My heart was now pounding so loudly, it blocked out all other sounds. I was trapped between that evil smile and the thrashing of my heart.

“I had to ask him, even though I knew the answer. It took two attempts and in the end, it was only a whisper, but I managed to ask him. He threw back his head and laughed. He said of course it was me. Isn’t that what men do? Restore the honor of their wives? Even when she’s just a big whore?

“The kitchen floor fell out from beneath me and I was floating. My brain was trying to make sense of what he’d said. My sweet husband. The man who let me sleep late Sundays and took the boys out for breakfast. The man who carried spiders outside instead of killing them. The man who spent every night for a month at his father’s side while he was dying of cancer. That man was not here anymore. I didn’t know how that was possible.

“I actually asked who are you? Somehow, I knew my Henry wasn’t there anymore. He laughed and then got quiet and still. He said his name was Esau. He said he knew I was weak the moment he saw me. Lust was strong in me. Lying was second nature. His eyes were cold and such a light blue they were almost white. Henry’s were hazel. He lunged for me and I threw myself back, tumbling over the chair.

“‘Don’t fight it, Jael,’ he said. ‘You need to take your punishment like a good little slut.’ I threw a plate at his head and he didn’t even flinch when it hit him between the eyes. The twins were screaming, calling me and their father, not knowing what was going on. He stood behind them and I was on the other side of the table. I couldn’t get to them. They were frantic. They had never even seen us fight before. Their scared little faces are etched in my brain, pleading for the people who loved them most to make things go back to normal.”

I was sobbing now, the words coming in gulps. I didn’t know how much Cole could make out, but he never said a word. He just let me tell my tale. “Slowly, like he had all the time in the world, he gave each one a peck on their heads. He asked which one I wanted to live. How do you answer that? I just shook my head. I couldn’t form words. Whatever this thing was, he couldn’t hurt them. They were innocent.