Here to Stay (9 page)

Elijah told her, “There is no
digging
drive. He’s a malamute. Digging is just something he does.”

Sissy had traded stud services from Teddy plus money she had made teaching obedience to acquire a wonderful black-and-tan bitch named Julia. Julia was expecting her first litter in five days.

Sissy had tried to involve Elijah in selecting a name for the kennel, but he offered no suggestions. Sissy badly wanted his input. Her father was every bit as
involved in showing dogs as her mother was, and she still hoped Elijah would be the same way.

Outside the doctor’s office, Ezra said, “Park?”

“Yes,” Sissy answered, smiling at him. “Yes. That’s where we’re going. And then we have to go home and take care of the dogs.”

S
HE HAD PLANNED
a romantic announcement of her pregnancy. Instead, Julia began first digging in the yard, then in the laundry, whining, pacing, anxious.

Sissy took her to the whelping box. “Ezra, you need to be a good boy. Julia’s having her puppies.”

Ezra came into the “puppy room” which was actually the little house’s side mudroom, with his blanket. He sat on the floor, watching with concern as Julia began shaking her towel. Sissy tried to explain. “She doesn’t know what’s happening, and having puppies hurts a bit. But it will be okay. Some kinds of hurt are normal, and this is one of them.”

Soon Sissy’s attention was divided between Julia, each new puppy—removing the sac and searching for a sound or sign that the puppies were breathing and weighing the newborns and recording their weight—and Ezra, who was disinclined to go to sleep.

Elijah was late getting home from work, not returning until eight-thirty, by which time Ezra had fallen asleep in the corner of the puppy room. So far Julia had birthed five puppies, one sable female, two black-and-tan females and two black-and-tan males. Elijah found Sissy catching another puppy and drawing the sac from it. A sable male. Elijah sank down beside her on the floor, pulling off his blazer and tossing it behind him.

Julia half-sat, half-squatted, turning and turning around, and another puppy was born into Sissy’s hands.

“I’m pregnant,” Sissy said.

Elijah leaned forward to see around her long hair, which had darkened to a light brown-sugar color. She smiled her wide, beautiful smile at him.

He grinned broadly and hugged her, then asked, “Is everything all right?” He glanced at their sleeping toddler.

“Yes,” she said quickly. Sissy was distracted, not so much by Julia’s labor and the new puppies but by the anticipation that now everything between her and Elijah would feel
right
to her. And it did not. The baby she carried was his, but the lie around Ezra remained. She tried to cover her preoccupation. “I still don’t have a kennel name, and I have puppies to register.”

Elijah watched her. There was something else, he knew, something she wasn’t saying. He stood and picked up Ezra to take him to bed.

He returned in minutes. “What is it?” he said.

The temptation came to her again, the temptation to confess all. Discretion was not, after all, the better part of valor; it was cowardice. She now knew that what she most feared was not Elijah’s anger or the loss of his love—it was his pain. She did not want to hurt him. She pretended again, watching Julia, uttering a truth that was not
the
truth. “I wish you wanted to be more a part of this. The kennel, I mean.”

They sat in silence for a while. Elijah studied Julia as she labored, watched the birth of the next puppy. He watched Sissy catch it, and begin to care for it. He said, “Tell me ideas you have for kennel names.”

But Sissy was rubbing the puppy vigorously, then
suctioning her nose and mouth with a bulb syringe. “Come on, baby, wake up.”

Then a small sound from the puppy.

“Good girl,” Sissy whispered. Minutes later, as she weighed the puppy and recorded the number, she answered Elijah. “I wanted to combine our names, like Elisis or something.”

He laughed. “It sounds like bad Latin.”

“How about E.S.?” Sissy asked.

Elijah thought he knew what lay beneath the question. She wanted to be thoroughly united with him through the kennel. The knowledge touched him, and he was ashamed that unconsciously he must have been distancing himself from the breeding of dogs, being more Humane Society rep than Sissy’s husband.

“How about something from mythology?” he suggested.

“I can’t think of too many positive dog images from mythology,” Sissy admitted, half relieved he seemed to be accepting the supposed source of her discontent. Another part wished he would keep probing for the real truth, until it
must
be told.

But Elijah was thinking of Ezra and of the child Sissy carried and of the fact that he would do anything for this woman, anything of which he was capable, when he whispered, “Genesis. Beginning. And it has
genes
and
Sis
in there.”

Genes.
The mention of the word stopped her. But he couldn’t mean anything, except in reference to the genetic characteristics of their dogs. Sissy blinked up at him. “It has a couple of Es as well. I like it.”

He smiled and touched her abdomen lovingly, rev
erently. “But I still have to confess, I’m more excited about Genesis’s second child.”

With a miserable shiver, Sissy tried to recall whether Genesis’s second-born had been Abel or Cain.

When we came home, there were no puppies and no Julia in the puppy room. It took us ten minutes to find them in the hamper where Julia had moved them.

—
Dog Brethren,
Elijah Workman, 1977

October 6, 1973
Greenwich, Connecticut

O
N HIS SON
Gene’s second birthday, Elijah found himself standing next to Clark Treffinger-Hart at a dog show. Sissy was in the ring, handling Martha against a bitch from Echo Springs Farm German Shepherd Dogs among others, and she had sent Elijah with the two boys to buy more bait, which was allowed in the breed ring. Usually they brought their own in a large cooler, but they were so far from home at this show. They had brought two cars so that they could show the four dogs that they’d entered. Sissy talked about their buying a trailer—perhaps an Airstream—but Elijah wasn’t sure where the money would come from. Sissy helped finance showing dogs by handling other peoples’ animals in the breed ring, and Elijah had learned how to do the same.

He learned what was important to the dogs by watching them, learning from them. They often liked one another’s company, but Belle, their blind and deaf dog, preferred people. Elijah kept trying to learn what they wanted, and he recorded his discoveries, writing about the dogs. The contrast between watching them when they were happy, when they were in their element, and seeing what he did in his work, opened the door to new ways of seeing animal behavior. To Sissy’s surprise, he’d actually sold an article entitled “Drive Discovery: Learning What Your Dog Wants and Making It Work for You” to the leading dog-training quarterly.

He looked thoughtfully at Clark Treffinger-Hart.

Sissy’s former fiancé was as handsome as when Elijah had first seen him, but Elijah felt no jealousy. The past was past. He doubted Clark would recognize him, but the other man did turn around and glance at the two boys, Ezra with his curly blond hair and light aqua-blue eyes, which were a bit like Alan Atherton’s, and Gene, who looked, said everyone, like Elijah. Clark seemed to do a double take on Ezra, then looked up at Elijah and nodded.

Elijah smiled back. He held three-year-old Ezra by the hand and Gene in his arms. He wasn’t sure Clark recognized him when the handler turned back to the counter to buy dog treats from the vendor.

Elijah realized he was holding his breath. Ezra said, “Dad? Can we buy dog toys?”

Clark turned around and seemed to examine the children again, probably startled to hear perfect enunciation from a three year old.

“Not right now.”

Elijah decided not to reintroduce himself to Clark.

The vendor counted Clark’s change, then the other man walked away, looking prosperous in his light tan blazer, tie and creased trousers, ready for the breed ring.

Elijah, who wouldn’t be taking any dogs into the ring that day, wore jeans and a flannel shirt.

Ezra’s small hand tugged at his as he set his treats on the counter, preparing to pay the vendor. “Dad,” he said again, “are we going back to watch Mother in the ring?”

“We are,” he said, and touched Ezra’s blond curls. For a strange moment, the memory of Clark’s face seemed to blend into Ezra’s. Elijah blinked and thought nothing of it.

“Y
OU LOOK
just like your dad,” Alan Atherton said, holding baby Gene. “And a handsome fellow you will be. I think I have the best-looking grandchildren anywhere.”

Elijah scooped up Ezra. Ezra said, “Can we go see the Akitas?” At present, Akitas were Ezra’s favorite breed. There were rarely many of them at a show, but so far Ezra had counted five at this one.

Sissy heard him and murmured, “Yes. Sure.”

She was reasonably content because although Martha had not won, she’d placed ahead of ESFGSD’s China Daughter. The judge had told Sissy, “She really has a beautiful face. She’s a lovely bitch.”

Unfortunately Clark was at this show. That troubled Sissy because to her it didn’t seem out of the realm of possibility that someday Elijah would notice that Ezra resembled Clark.

Also, she disliked spending time near her mother, who was rude to Elijah. Not only that, but Sissy had noticed the tension between her parents over this fact,
their differing opinions of Elijah. Sissy loved her father and didn’t want his life to be miserable. But when it came to Elijah, Heloise might do her best to make it so.

Heloise Atherton surveyed her husband and family, including Kennedy and Kennedy’s daughter, Ellen. She said, “Ellen, you’re a lovely girl, aren’t you? Here, Kennedy, let me take her.”

They traded a leash attached to China Daughter for a child.

Sissy had Martha in a sit stay, which the sable was maintaining nicely.

Elijah saw China Daughter’s lip curl, and he grabbed the leash from Kennedy, pulling the bitch back just as she went for Martha.

Heloise screamed, “What are you doing?” and pushed the baby back at Kennedy to grab the leash.

But Elijah had made the correction, Sissy had pulled Martha out of reach and the incident was over.

“What did you do to her?” Sissy’s mother demanded.

Ezra said, “China Daughter curled her lip at Martha and tried to bite her.”

Heloise stared at her grandson. “Ezra, my dogs don’t fight.”

Elijah was outraged on Ezra’s behalf.

Ezra replied matter-of-factly, “Well, she
tried
to, but my dad stopped her.”

Heloise glared at Martha, then told Sissy, “You better hope the judge didn’t see that.”

As though Martha had started it.

Sissy rolled her eyes. “Elijah, I need to put Martha away.”

Alan said, “Gene and I will come with you.”

His wife said, “Sissy, denial is no way to raise dogs. I hope you do better with your children, at least. Though I’m doubtful.” She cast a disparaging look at Ezra.

Elijah turned away with Ezra and strode toward the Akitas, Sissy trailing after with her father. Elijah heard her hiss, “I’m not speaking to her anymore, Dad, until she learns to be civil to my family.”

“You know she’s had health problems, Sissy.”

The health problems were mental health problems, but no one said it. Heloise had spent some time in a hospital earlier in the fall but seemed unchanged to Elijah. He’d resisted ever saying what Sissy had voiced at one point: “Maybe they can give her medicine to make her act like a human being.”

“Health problems are no excuse for being mean, especially to a child. And Ezra was right. Martha didn’t so much as growl, and I heard China Daughter begin to snarl. For Mother to act that way to her own grandchild…”

Elijah hurried ahead and looked at Ezra’s face. He told his son, “You were right. I saw China Daughter’s nose wrinkle, too. Your grandmother was looking at baby Ellen and didn’t see.”

Around his very light aqua eyes, Ezra’s long lashes and lush eyebrows were a shade darker than his hair. He was cherubic, the kind of child whom women stared at in wonder. Elijah was secretly pleased that Ezra seemed to disdain this sort of attention. “Why doesn’t Grandma like us?” Ezra asked.

Elijah wasn’t sure what to say. It wasn’t in him to lie to Ezra, but nor would he criticize his son’s grandparents. “I think she’s not very happy. Sometimes when people
aren’t happy they find reasons not to like other people. It’s nothing to do with you, Ezra. It’s all to do with her.”

Ezra exclaimed, “There are the Akitas!” and squirmed to be let down.

As Elijah set him on his feet, he heard Sissy and her father still behind them, Sissy saying, “And this stuff about Clark and Berkeley. Like after four years of marriage and two children I’m going to break down sobbing at the news.”

Elijah turned around, taking a quick glance back at Ezra, who had sat down at the edge of the ring where the Akitas were being shown. “What’s this?”

Sissy’s gesture with her nonleash hand was meant to convey the triviality of the subject. “Oh. Clark’s engaged.”

“Really,” said Elijah without much interest, eyes on Ezra. “Who’s he marrying?”

“Berkeley Ludlow. She handles sporting breeds and she’s in pointers.”

“An excellent handler,” Alan put in. “But nothing on you, Sissy.”

A woman’s voice called through the crowd from behind them. “Alan! Alan, come here.”

He handed the baby to Sissy, who held Gene tightly, kissing his face, seeing Elijah in his eyelashes, Elijah whom she loved. She hurried to his side.

T
HAT NIGHT
in their hotel room, Sissy was cheerful.

Her dog Oak had taken Best of Breed. He was the puppy she’d named Acorn, but he’d grown into such a muscular, handsome dog that he’d become Oak. She was happy, too, that the show was over. She liked it when Elijah came with her, but she couldn’t stop
thinking about Clark’s being there, too, and the chance Elijah would see the likeness between her former fiancé and Ezra.

Now they were in bed, the dogs sleeping in crates around them. They had four German shepherds with them and two more at home, plus Belle, Whiteout and Five the cat. Gene still slept with his parents, here as well as at home where they didn’t have a room for him yet. They needed to move, which meant selling the house in which they were living and buying another. Elijah wanted to move back to Echo Springs to be near his mother, but it might mean leaving his job at the Humane Society and returning to law enforcement. Sissy knew she would make less money teaching obedience classes in Echo Springs. They also had looked at other communities around the Lake of the Ozarks; the most appealing was Osage Beach. Sissy had suggested opening a pet supply and gift store on the Strip.

Elijah wasn’t keen on this. Sissy had two children, taught Obedience classes and had a kennel. He’d noticed, too, that she seemed to constantly want to change her focus in life. She’d stopped writing plays, but had starred in one production at the community theater, then had started teaching dance classes, then had stopped. She was like a person trying on different outfits and tossing each aside as not quite right. And she seemed oblivious to their financial situation. Her excursion into community theater had cost them more than two hundred dollars in babysitting. Elijah hadn’t begrudged her that, thought she deserved time to herself, but she sometimes seemed incapable of saying no to
herself when it came to new clothes, to something unnecessary for herself or the children.

As Gene lay asleep between them on the bed and Ezra on his own cot, Sissy gazed at Elijah’s hand lying near hers on top of the cover. His hands were large and strong-looking, and she saw the wedding ring he never removed and longed for him as she had since she was twelve. Sometimes she thought her desire and need was stronger than his, yet he still touched her with the same attentive, thoroughly engrossed care. She said, “You’ll never leave me, will you, Elijah?”

“Not in this life,” he said.

Sissy sighed. “I told my mother I’m having nothing more to do with her. My father is always welcome in our home, but she’s not.”

“Sissy.” Elijah sounded distressed.

“I can’t stand it anymore. She’s never gotten over my marrying you, and she never will.”

“Don’t blow it up,” he said. “It doesn’t matter. Just let it be.”

“It matters to me!”

“You’re not going to change her by doing this.”

“How do you know?” Sissy demanded.

Elijah didn’t answer at once. “Because that kind of thing never works. Not for change. Not for good.”

“I’m not going to let her get away with it,” Sissy said, almost to herself, and heard how childish she sounded and didn’t care. “You’re the most important thing in my life.”

“Then do something for me.” Elijah touched her cheek. “Don’t burn any bridges. It’s a bad habit.”

June 3, 1978
Echo Springs, Missouri

I
T WAS THE LAST THING
they’d expected. Alan Atherton had died of a heart attack, and when his will was read, he had left the family’s house on the shore of the Lake of the Ozarks to Sissy and Elijah.

Even after his death and the discovery of their inheritance, Elijah and Sissy’s decision to move had taken a year and unexpected windfalls, including Elijah’s publication of a well-received book. Elijah would continue his work as an investigator from Echo Springs. Sissy was to teach drama part-time at the local high school.

When they sold the house in Kansas City, they’d been able to expand the Athertons’ small cabin and create the kennel runs they needed.

Sissy’s doubts about the move were that she would be farther from some dog shows (though closer to a few others), and her new location would be less convenient for prospective puppy buyers to visit.

But here there was less chance of seeing Clark Treffinger-Hart—or, more to the point, of Elijah’s seeing him.

She could not lose Elijah. She wanted to believe that his knowing the truth would make no difference, but how could it not? Especially after all this time.

She should have told him immediately, the first time they’d made love, that she’d had other lovers.

Yes, they had disagreements, but on most subjects they were of one mind. He was an excellent father, truly the husband of her dreams. He’d even become as interested in the kennel as she was. He made minute observations of the dogs and their interaction with one
another. He spent hours writing about them, and Sissy, reading his book before publication, had been surprised by his skill with words. Though she wasn’t sure why she should be—he’d always been a good student. Strangely, his way with the dogs reminded her painfully of her father. When she’d told him this, he’d said, “Thank you,” and hurried out of the room. She’d seen that it was to hide tears; he missed her father as much as she did.

A motorboat went by towing a skier, and Gene said, “I’d like to go to the beach, Mother.” Like Ezra, Gene was very articulate, but he was a strange child. He always spoke almost without inflection. He frustrated Sissy because he seemed unable to grasp basic things about getting along with his brother—or anyone else for that matter. He also seemed to be a bit of a problem for his teacher when he’d started school in Echo Springs that April. His teacher called him “uncooperative” and said he didn’t care about the other children’s feelings.

Admittedly he had many habits Sissy thought strange. For instance, what he did on the “beach,” at the lake’s edge, was find pebbles of nearly identical size and arrange them on the wall. He refused to go in the water, screaming and shrieking if anyone attempted to take him in. Elijah had at first insisted, even briefly swimming away from Gene, returning only when it was clear that Gene would not fend for himself and seemed likely to drown. Finally he and Sissy had both realized it was hopeless.