Hot and Bothered (Hot in the Kitchen) (38 page)

“Now that we are on better terms,” Tony continued after a minute spent staring at the vending machine, “I feel I can ask you this.”

“Shoot,” Tad croaked.

“Do you have a dollar to spare? It seems I will have to pay again for this chocolate bar.”

Good one, Tony.
Tad felt as though an elephant had taken a step off his chest and oxygen was now rushing to make his anemic blood strong. Filling in all those transparent gaps, making him solid again.

“There you are,” he heard Lili’s soft voice behind him.

“How is she?” Tony barked.

“She’s okay. It was Braxton Hicks contractions but they wanted to be sure, hence the delay. She’s already asking for her chocolate fountains binder. Shane’s trying to decide how much rope he’s going to need to keep her on bed rest.”

Tad sighed. The women in this family tended to have this effect, even the ones who were related by marriage.

“
Grazie de Dio.
” Tony grasped Tad’s arm in a friendly way, his relief palpable, then gave him the eyebrow. “Now you must take care of this business with Julietta.”

Merda,
that didn’t take long.

Lili folded her arms and stared at him, using less of the DeLuca stink eye and more… Christ Almighty, was that compassion?

“You okay? You didn’t answer any of my calls or texts. Or the door.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just needed some time.”

“You know I love you, right?” She sniffed, as if that could somehow temper the sudden bout of schmaltz. “I don’t tell you but you’ve always been there for me. In high school when I had it rough, and then again with all that online stuff when I met Jack, you’ve always been like a brother. I don’t think you realize how much I care about you. How much we all do.”

“Where the hell is this coming from?” he snapped, instantly regretting it because he knew everyone was feeling raw.

She stroked his forearm, easing him out of his ill humor. “We need to tell each other these things more. Maybe Jack’s sensitivity is rubbing off me.”

He laughed nervously. Lili often joked that Jack, for all his stiff upper lip Britishness, was more Italian than the entire DeLuca clan put together. But that wasn’t strictly true. Vivi had been emotional, and Tad used to be like that as well. These days, he felt like a walking open wound and a certain green-eyed girl was the only one with the right-sized suture kit.

“I love you, too,” he said gruffly.

“Then you’re probably not going to like what I have to say next.” She peered up at him, her shining blue eyes determined.
Nice turnaround, cuz.
“You’re, in my husband’s vernacular, acting like a total arse. I know you love her.”

“Language, Liliana,” Tony warned.

“Sorry, Dad.”

“Did you guys have a freaking intervention without me?”

Her brow furrowed. “What?”

“Nothing.” Tad split his gaze between them and inhaled deeply. “I messed up with Jules. Things got hard and I messed up.”

Tony considered him. “No one said love was easy. When your aunt had cancer, it was a difficult time for this family, but loving her during that time was never hard. The hard part is the times she will not rest when I ask her to or she refuses to add the extra spoonful of Marsala to the
zabaglione
or acknowledge that I am right when it is clear as day.”

Lili laughed. “So she’s hard to love when she won’t cooperate with you.”

“No, I am the one who’s hard to love. The DeLuca men never know what is best for them but we must learn from our women.”

“Amen,” Lili said.

Tad thought back to Jules’s determined words as she told him she was the best thing to happen to him. Undoubtedly, she would move on and get over him but as every single one of his female relatives was fond of telling him, men were the weaker sex.

Tad didn’t have that kind of strength. He would never get over her.

He sure as hell didn’t want to and he sure as hell didn’t plan to. Jules was the kind of woman you worshipped on your knees, you walked over burning coals to get to, you went to hell and back for. He had been there and he didn’t like the décor. Clawing back his life needed a goal. Not the bar, not cooking, not even that jungle in his backyard.

Just Jules.

If he had her and Evan, then he just might make it.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Love is like a shadow—no matter how hard you try to escape, it will chase you.
—Italian proverb Jules’s heart thudded wildly as she knocked on the front door of DeLuca’s Ristorante. It was usually closed on Monday, but today was the very special occasion of Tony and Frankie’s anniversary dinner party, and she was going to help with the decorations. And try not to collapse in a heap around Tad.

The door crept open to reveal Lili, who dragged her inside with shifty looks left and right.

“Can’t be too careful.”

“Frankie knows already. You can’t keep anything from her.”

Lili smiled, and Jules’s heart gave a solid kick to her ribs at how that smile reminded her of Tad.

“So true. She always knew when I’d been sneaking out as a young ’un. Never missed a trick. But I’m pretty sure Dad’s still in the dark.”

Jules took another couple of steps inside and was immediately transported. DeLuca’s was a wonderfully appointed restaurant with a long cherrywood bar and a frescoed ceiling, but today it was like something out of an old world fairytale. Cara had spun her magic with indoor landscaping, working to bring a vineyard vibe indoors, and transformed it into a re-creation of the spot where Tony and Francesca had said their original vows in a joint union with Tad’s parents. Empty wine casks, similar to the ones at Vivi’s, framed the space while twinkling fairy lights sparkled overhead, shining off the sky-cloud ceiling. A couple of working casks had been set up at one end of the bar, with spigots at the ready to satisfy the influx of DeLuca relatives now waiting at their hotels for the signal to swarm.

It took a moment to realize that Lili was speaking. “So, are you okay? I know it’s been a rough few days. Sometimes I just want to shake that cousin of mine.”

“The queue forms right here.” Jules pinned on a smile, aiming to put her sister-in-law at ease. This was exactly what she had wanted to avoid, the domino effect that failing with Tad would have on the rest of the family. “I knew the risks going in and while it sucks to be me this minute, it won’t always.”

Her heart felt like a piece of pulverized meat, but eventually she would heal. If she had learned anything over the last two years, it was that resilience suited her.

Cara came bustling out and Jules took a moment’s satisfaction in the fact that she waddled.
About time.
Two days ago she was terrifying the bejesus out of her family with her hospital visit. Now she glared at one of her staff who was hanging a banner and generally making a hash of it. Just as she parted her lips to unleash, Shane emerged from the kitchen, pushing a humungous cake on a rolling cart.

“LT, shut that gorgeous mouth down now,” he said before Cara could get a word out. “You heard what the doctor said about blood pressure.”

Cara growled and rolled her eyes at Jules. “The only risk to my blood pressure is your fussing, Shane Doyle.”

Shane stroked her cheek. “Just indulge me. Give our kids a chance to grow some hair on their heads before we meet them.”

Cara visibly relaxed under his touch. Satisfied his words had made an impact, Shane turned to Jules.

“Hey, sis, Jack’s looking for you. He’s in the kitchen.”

As much fun as Jules had had running the show at Vivi’s during Derry’s medical emergency, she knew she didn’t want to work in a busy restaurant kitchen. As for what she wanted to do… well, things were a little topsy-turvy right now and she needed to refocus on her little boy. The last few weeks had been confusing for him and she hadn’t been shepherding him through the changes very well. One day, she would get back to that goal of carving out her place but for now Evan was her heart—that was all she needed.

Good on ya,
the girls whispered in her ear. They had been gentle with her lately.

Of course, they knew what was coming. Tonight, she had to sit at a table with the man she loved and pretend everything was hunky dory.

Could they go back to what they’d had?

Probably not.

Had it been worth it?

Damn straight.

Her confidence in that statement took a nosedive as soon as she walked into the DeLuca kitchen.

She had expected Jack, and there he was, owning the space as he always did, but that’s not where her covetous eyes fell.

Tad.

Tad was here in DeLuca’s kitchen, wearing chef whites and testosterone, and making her world crash.

All. Over. Again.

Her brother spoke over his shoulder. “Hey, you’re late.”

“Your wife kept me gabbing,” she said mechanically, her gaze focused on the knife that seemed to be a natural extension of Tad’s hand. She coughed and, with great difficulty, turned to Jack. “What’s going on?”

“Tad’s in charge.”

“He is?” Tad was cooking the meal that would celebrate one marriage and would plunge him into painful memories of another. Stranger still, he was working with Jack and the knives were still being used for their original purposes.

He turned and just the sight of him sent a sharp zing humming through her. It was a painful pleasure to run her eyes over all that beauty.

“You ready?” Tad asked her.

“For what?”

“His big fat grovel,” Jack said, removing a pan from a burner.

“I don’t think so,” she said, unsure if she meant her reaction to whatever Tad was about to unload or the fact that her brother seemed intent on remaining as referee.

Tad tapped his knife in an insistent tattoo on the cutting board. “Jack, I need you to take your interfering, know-it-all, Limey ass out of this kitchen and give us some space.”

Unfazed by Tad’s bite, a relaxed smile came over her brother’s face. He looked at her squarely. “Is this what you want?”

“Making my own decisions, remember?”

He held up his hands. “All right, all right. Got it.” He kissed her cheek on the way out of the kitchen. “I’ll be outside.”

She swallowed into the silence, this wedge of awful, bruising space that stretched between them like a cavernous maw. She held onto it for a couple of moments while they assessed each other for… she didn’t know what.

“How’s Evan?” he asked.

“Fine. Sylvia’s bringing him by later.” She forced her lungs to cooperate. “Do you have something to say to me?”

He stared at her in a way that made her supremely uncomfortable. That stare coated every nerve and set up a high-frequency vibration through her body. Nervous as hell, she ran a finger over the nearest stainless steel counter. Still, he wouldn’t speak.

“How come you’re here? In the kitchen?”

“Today isn’t just about Tony and Frankie.”

It was also about Rafe and Vivi. She loved that he was facing it head on, but she pinned on her game face all the same.

“And it isn’t just about my parents. It’s about honoring who they were and making them proud and that means making a move forward. I don’t think they’d be all that proud of how I’ve lived my life since they died. I think they’d be pretty pissed off at me.”

Her heart turned over, revealing the soft, defenseless underside. “You were twisted up inside. It’s hard to get untwisted if it suits you better to be that way.”

He looked like he was mentally trying that on for size. A sly smile, directed more at himself than her, quirked his lips.

“Yeah, that’s about it. You know, a very wise person once told me that I deserved to be happy. I didn’t really know what that meant until a few weeks ago, when we went from friends to so much more. I thought I was too selfish to give myself to another person. To two people, you and Evan. This mistake I made came with its own accessories: a hair shirt, a bucket of mortar in my heart, a black cloud following me around. I let it take over and make decisions for me. I let it turn me into a selfish bastard. But no more.”

Riveted by his words, all Jules could do was stare at him.

“Remember that night you told me not to fall in love with you?”

Tears pricked the backs of her eyelids. “Yes.”

“Well, I didn’t.”

Her breath trapped in her lungs and she scrabbled for air. “Bully for you.”

“I didn’t fall in love with you then or the next day or the day after that.”

Crikey, why ever did Jack think this guy could sell anything? “You have my admiration for holding out.”

Those DeLuca electric blues trapped her in their beam. “Because I was already in love with you. I had been since the day I met you, maybe before I met you. Only with you, Jules, do I feel all these broken pieces of me fall into place.”

Unwavering in his gaze, he walked toward her. Slow and purposeful, with no hesitation. Not wanting to feel at a disadvantage, she held her ground and looked him straight in the eye. New Jules, stronger than ever. But all that girl power went to the dogs the closer he got.

He loved her.