If I Loved You (Harper Falls Book 1) (21 page)

They didn’t speak but Rose saw everything
that she needed to know in his clear, blue eyes. He needed her,
wanted her. Lifting one of her legs, he hooked it around his thigh.
Bending just slightly he began to enter her, slowly, inch by
agonizing inch. Her eyes never left his; their breathing synced in
perfect unison. There was no hurry; the build was gentle but
intense. Minutes passed or was it hours? Time didn't matter. And as
they reached their peak they came together, the rush so powerful
she felt her legs begin to buckle. But Jack had her, his strong
arms keeping her safe as they floated slowly down to earth
again.

Jack gave her one last kiss before reaching
over and turning off the water. Guiding her from the shower he took
a large towel and began to dry her hair.

It felt good to let him take care of her.
She closed her eyes and just relaxed as he wiped the moisture from
her body and then quickly did the same to himself. He found her
clothes and handed to them to her before he dressed himself.

“Is your car outside?”

Rose nodded. They silently made their way
through the building. She wondered where everyone had gone. Drew
must have cleared them all out for which she was grateful. She’d
been so intent on finding Jack that it hadn’t occurred to her that
someone might walk in on them while they were in the shower. Not
that either of them would have noticed. But still, it would have
been embarrassing to find out later that someone had observed
them.

After setting the alarm, Jack led her to his
SUV. He assured her that her car would be fine, but that was the
least of her worries. She’d run what she was going to say to him
over and over in her mind and on the short trip to his house she
thought it through one more time. But now that the moment was
almost here she realized no amount of preparation was going to
help. She would say her peace and that would be that. It was the
unknown that was frightening. What would Jack's reaction be? But
before she said anything else there was something she needed to do.
After he had let them both into the house, Rose began to
apologize.

“I’m sorry, Rose.”

That threw her for a moment. Jack had
nothing to be sorry for.

“Jack—”

“Sit, please.” She did, expecting him to
join her. Instead, he paced.

“I shouldn’t have dropped the news about
your aunt’s visit so abruptly,” he began after a few moments.

“Jack, there was no way you could have
anticipated my reaction.” Rose was horrified to think he’d been
feeling guilty for the last few days. “It was extreme, to say the
least.”

“I got a little glimpse of what your aunt is
like.” He finally joined her on the sofa. “Will you tell me about
her? About what she did to you?”

“I wish I had some great revelation I could
share with you, Jack. I spent a lot of time in therapy looking for
one.” It hadn’t been a complete waste of time, but there hadn’t
been any magic answers either. She was still screwed up, just to a
lesser degree.

“I told you that I was sent to live with my
aunt after my mother died. What I didn’t tell you was that she
didn’t just die, she committed suicide.”

Jack was shocked. “Rose, I’m so sorry. I had
no idea.”

“Very few people know.” Rose closed her
eyes; it was such an ugly subject. “I felt guilty.” She’d never
admitted that to anyone besides her therapist. Not even Dani and
Tyler knew. But for some reason she needed to tell Jack.

“Why?”

“I loved my mother and I think, in her way,
she loved me. I tried so hard to cheer her up. The first song I
ever wrote was silly and so bad, but it made her smile.” Rose
cringed when she thought of it. Ninety percent plagiarized and one
hundred percent crap. But it was all it took to get her hooked,
music became her passion—her escape.

“After she died I cried. Maybe that was when
I cried myself out. Tears don't come easily to me anymore. And I
missed her. But I also felt free. I was nine years old and I’d
never felt like a kid.”

Jack took her hands, hoping to give her a
bit of comfort. God, they were like ice. “Let me get you something
hot to drink.”

“I’m fine, really.” It felt so good when he
cupped her hands in his, sharing his warmth, making it easier for
her to continue.

“It took about a month for the authorities
to track down a relative. They asked me about my father, but I
couldn’t tell them anything. My mother never told me his name."
Rose remembered being afraid that no one would want her. "When she
thought I couldn’t hear, my social worker told another woman that
she doubted my mother even knew his name, but that wasn't true, she
just didn't like talking about him. Then, when they finally found
my aunt I was so excited. I started creating all these fantasies
about how beautiful she would be and how she would love me and take
care of me." Rose scoffed. "Well, she
was
beautiful.”

“They just turned you over to her?”

Rose understood Jack's outrage and was
touched by it.

“All I know is that a few days after they
located her, Louise swept in, make-up perfect and every hair in
place. She charmed everyone, including me. We left; I was with her
for a few months and then she found a new man who paid for me to
come here to Harper Academy.”

“You’re leaving something out, Rose.”

“It wasn’t that bad the first time I was
with her,” Rose assured him. “Louise had just started dating the
man who would become husband number three.” Chester Freemont was a
widower with a lot of money and a little girl about Rose’s age.
When he found out his new girlfriend could provide his little angel
with a ready-made playmate, Louise used Rose as a way to upgrade
her status to wife. Though she made it clear in no uncertain terms,
that Rose was never to call her
Aunt
Louise. She only slipped once, and Rose found out that Louise knew
how to slap and pinch—hard. The bruises were hidden by long sleeves
and Rose never forgot again.

“So you lived with her, the new husband and
his little girl?”

“Shirley was her name.” And she was spoiled
rotten. The last thing she wanted was another child around to take
away any attention away from her. Rose hadn't been there two weeks
before she was being shipped off to the most remote location they
could find.

“Louise was happy to get rid of me and I was
happy to go. Harper Academy was a dream come true. Dani’s and
Tyler’s families welcomed me in like I was one of their own. For
the next few years I was happy, unbelievably so. There was no
reason to think it would end. I’d almost forgotten that Louise even
existed, so why would I think she would come back into my life and
turn it upside down?”

“Drew said that one day you were in school
and the next you were gone.” Jack braced himself for the next part
of her story. His gut was already in a knot. He couldn’t begin to
imagine how hard it was for her to tell him—to relive it through
the telling. He wanted to know. He wanted to understand. But he
didn’t want to cause her any more pain.

“I need to finish, Jack.” Seeing the concern
on his face, Rose gave his hand a squeeze. “It isn’t bad as you
think it’s going to be, so don’t worry. I just want you to hear the
rest.”

With a nod, Jack settled back to listen.

“It was about the same time of year it is
now. I was fifteen and looking forward to getting out of school for
the summer. Dani, Tyler and I had lined up jobs taking care of
people’s yards. Dani’s dad was letting us use his lawn mower and
other equipment, and we figured to make a good chunk of money. Then
Louise showed up. No warning. She told me to pack a bag and get in
the car.”

At first Rose had been more confused than
scared. Tyler’s father was away on business and her mother was
easily intimidated. When Anita Jones tried to protest Louise
pointed out that she was still Rose’s legal guardian, it was her
right to take Rose and there was nothing anyone could do about
it.

“Mrs. Jones was no match for Louise but
Tyler wasn't going to let me go without a fight. She dared Louise
to call the police.”

“You have to love Tyler.” Jack cheered the
teenage hellcat. Unfortunately, he knew how the confrontation
ended.

“She was my hero,” Rose agreed

She’d often wondered what would have
happened if she’d stayed and fought. Would things have turned out
differently? Who knows? In the end, Rose left with Louise without
any fuss. Tyler’s parents had been so good to her she couldn’t
stand to think of them getting in trouble because of her.

She had packed one bag, got in the rusty
Ford Escort and left the only real home she had ever known. She
made Tyler promise to say goodbye to Dani for her. They hugged and
promised to keep in touch. Rose had her phone and they planned on
talking as often as possible.

As soon as Rose fell asleep in the car, her
phone “disappeared” out the window.

“What the hell was her game?” Jack's meeting
with Louise had been brief, but she hadn't come across as the kind
of woman who would wake up one morning with the burning desire to
play mother.

“Louise was riding pretty low, maybe as low
as she’d ever been. Why she hated me, I don’t know. But for some
reason she got it in her head that if she was going down she was
taking me with her.”

Rose found out quickly that Louise loved the
sound of her own voice. And most of what she had to say concerned
how horribly life had treated her. Seven hours of almost non-stop
complaining, most of which made little sense to Rose. Names she’d
never heard, people she’d never met. Rose finally realized that
Louise wasn’t talking to her; she was just talking. Rose would have
listened to music, but she’d already lost her phone, she didn’t
want to take a chance on losing her iPod, too. So Instead she
composed music in her head. By the time they reached Boise she had
three songs written.

“Boise? Why Boise?” Jack realized his entire
body was clenched. He took a deep breath and tried to relax. He
wasn’t very successful.

“That was where she had arranged to meet up
with her current boyfriend, Gus Plank. He wasn’t up to Louise’s
usual standards, but she was at that '
beggars
can’t be choosers'
stage.”

Along with writing songs, Rose had been
forming a plan. She knew she’d been an idiot to let Louise take her
out of Harper Falls and away from anyone who could help her. So now
she was on her own and this time she had to be a lot smarter. If
she could get to a public library she could use one of their
computers to email Dani and Tyler and let them know where she was.
She doubted Louise would go to the police but just in case, Rose
didn’t want to involve her friend’s parents. They could send her
the money to buy a bus ticket home and they’d figure the rest out
once she got there. But she never made it to a library and it
wasn't long before she was incapable of contacting anyone.

“We only stopped in Boise long enough to
pick up Gus Plank. He was huge, Jack. For the first time, I was
really afraid. But it wasn’t Gus I needed to be afraid of, it was
Louise. She was relentless. She wouldn’t let me sleep longer than
an hour at a time. And she would sit next to my bed and whisper
what she was going to let Gus and his friends do to me when we
arrived at their cabin. I knew I had to get away from them, but I
was never alone. I think she started putting something in my food
because I had no energy.”

They moved around from small town to small
town; their routine never varying. Rose was terrified of getting to
"the cabin", the place where Gus and his friends would do terrible
things to her. Between the lack of sleep, Louise’s nightly threats
and the drugs, just one month after the nightmare had begun Rose
had become a jittery mess of skin and bones. She didn't have any
appetite, but Louise made sure she ate a few bites. Rose wanted to
refuse, but she didn't have the strength to keep the food from
being forced down her throat. She had no idea how much longer she
would have lasted if Gus hadn’t come to her rescue.

“He seemed like such a doormat. Louise
dictated every move. Gus almost never spoke but when he did it was
to agree with Louise.” Rose gratefully took the cup of tea that
Jack had finally insisted on making for her. She let the heat seep
into her hands; it felt wonderful.

“It took the son of a bitch a month to
finally help you?” Jack was so disgusted he could barely grind out
the words. “He was as crazy as Louise.”

“You’re probably right. But something
finally made him help me.”

“What happened?

“I have no idea.”

Every day became just like the last, so Rose
had no idea what had made that one different. She knew they had
stopped, and she thought she could remember Louise complaining
about needing to go to the bathroom. Suddenly Gus was lifting her
out of the car. The next time she was aware of anything she was in
a hospital in Harper Falls, hooked up to an IV.

“I didn’t know how I got there. Later, Dani
told me that her father had gotten a phone call in the middle of
the night telling him where he could find me. He didn’t hesitate,
Jack. He drove for hours to some no name town in Montana on the off
chance the guy on the phone was telling the truth. Knowing that
someone cared that much helped me get back on my feet. That and two
friends who practically lived at my bedside. Tyler and Dani willed
me to get better. I don’t know what I would have done without
them.”

“The police?”

Rose shrugged. “They questioned me but the
only thing I could tell them was who I was with and that at one
point we were in Boise. To be honest, Jack, I’m not sure they
believed any of it. I think they saw a runaway who had gotten in
over her head and finally called home when things got too bad.
Louise and Gus had disappeared. A few years later I read that he
was in prison for armed robbery. I heard from Louise about a week
after I sold my first song.”