If I Were You (10 page)

“What about the dough, Obie? You owe me a buck on the meter already.”

“You collect from Mac. Tell him I’ll send it to him as soon as I get to Borneo. Yeah, and get me a banana from that stand. I’m starving.”

Crow went. O’Brien squirmed around on the seat, trying not to show himself to passing pedestrians and at the same time keeping an apprehensive eye out for Frankie’s friends.

Crow got back in and started the motor as a huge and slightly battered-looking sedan drew up. O’Brien slid to the floor, but not quickly enough. The crack of a pistol was followed by the tinkle of glass as the cab started with a furious rush.

O’Brien, on the floor, was putting on the doll’s clothes. “Where’s that boat leaving from?”

“Pier eleven, on South Street.”

“Make it snappy, Orson.”

“What does it look like I’m doing? Taking a sun bath?”

When they reached the pier, there was no sign of the gangsters. O’Brien tumbled out with his banana.

He said, “Better scram, Orson. They’ll be along. Yes, sir.”

“I’ll see that you get off foist,” said Crow. O’Brien scuttled down the pier to where the little freighter lay. Her screws had just begun to turn, and seamen were casting loose the
hawsers
. Crow glimpsed a small mite, barely visible in the darkness, running up a bow rope. It vanished—at least he thought it did—but just then the gangsters’ car squealed to a stop beside him. They had seen, too. They piled out and ran down to the ship. The gangplank was up, and the ship was sliding rapidly out of her berth,
stern
first.

One of the gangsters yelled, “Hey!” at the ship, but nobody paid any attention.

A foot-high, Frankie Guanella capered on the pier in front of the gangsters in excess of homicidal rage. He shrieked abuse at the dwindling ship. When he ran out of words for a moment, Crow, who was climbing back into his cab to make a quiet getaway, heard a faint, shrill voice raised in a tinny song from the shadows around the bow hatches.

It sang, “On the road to Mandalay-ay, where the flying fishes play-ay-ay!”

Crow was too far away to see. But Frankie Guanella saw. He saw the reduced but still-round figure of Euclid O’Brien standing on top of a hatch, holding aloft his bloody ax in one hand. Then the figure vanished into the shadows again.

Guanella gave a choked squeak, and foamed at the mouth. Before his pals could stop him, he bounded to the edge of the pier and dove off. He appeared on the surface, swimming strongly toward the
SS
Leeuwarden,
bobbing blackly in the path of moonlight on the dirty water.

Then a triangular fin—not over a couple of inches high, but still revealing its kinship to its relatives, the sharks—cut the water. The
dogfish
swirled past Frankie, and there was no more midget swimmer. There was only the moonlight, and the black hull of the freighter swinging around to start on her way to Hong Kong and Singapore.

Story Preview

N
OW
that you’ve just ventured through some of the captivating tales in the Stories from the Golden Age collection by L. Ron Hubbard, turn the page and enjoy a preview of
Danger in the Dark.
Join Billy Newman, who has newly purchased a South Seas island only to discover it’s haunted by the giant shark-god Tadamona. Unfortunately the sharp-toothed entity wants more than ritual sacrifice; it’s bent on destroying the entire island unless Billy battles it out like David (without the slingshot) versus Goliath!

Danger in the Dark

T
HE
medicine drums were beating wearily and another, greater drum had commenced to boom with a hysteria which spoke of breaking nerves. The slither and slap of bare feet sounded upon Billy’s verandah, and he straightened up to see that Wanoa and several lesser chiefs had come.

They greeted him with deep bows, their faces stiff to hide the terror within them.

“Hafa?”
said Billy, giving it the “What’s the matter” intonation.

“We come to seek your help,” said Wanoa.

“I have done all I can,” replied Billy. “But if you think what little medicine I have may stave off any new case . . .” He got slowly to his feet and reached mechanically for his topee, although it was already night.

“Medicine does no good,” said Wanoa with dignity. “We have found it necessary to use strong means—” He paused, cutting the flow of his
Chamorro
off short, as though he realized that what he was about to say would not go well with the mahstah.

“And?” said Billy, feeling it somehow.

“We turn back to old rite. Tonight we sacrifice young girl to Tadamona. Maybe it will be that he will turn away his anger—”

“A young girl?” gaped Billy. “You mean . . . you’re going to kill—”

“We are sorry. It is necessary. Long time ago priests come. They tell us about fellah mahstah Jesus Christ. We say fine.
Bime-by
island got nothing but crosses. Tadamona is boss god Kaisan. Tadamona does not like to be forgotten. For a long time he slept. And then he see no sacrifices coming anymore. He get angry. For thirty years we get no rest. We get sick, all the best people die, the crops are bad, the typhoons throw our houses down. Then white men here get plenty power and Tadamona jealous and not like. Things get worse and worse. Tadamona no like white man because white man say he is boss. Tadamona is boss.”

“You can’t do this,” said Billy quietly. “I won’t let you murder—”

“We not murder anybody,” said Wanoa. “Christina say she happy to die if people get saved.”

“Christina! Why, she . . . she’s a mission girl! You’re lying! She’s half-white! She would never consent to such a thing!”

Wanoa made a beckoning motion at the door, and Christina came shyly inside to stand with downcast face.

Billy walked toward her and placed his hand on her shoulder. Very often these last months he had watched her and wondered why he should go on forever alone. He would spend the rest of his life here, and Christina—she had that fragile beauty of the
mestiza
, beauty enough to turn the heads of most white men.

“You consented to this?” said Billy.

She nodded, not looking at him.

“Christina, you know something of white ways. You know what you have been taught. This Tadamona—why, he is nothing but airy mist. He is a superstition born out of typhoons and sickness and the minds of men who know little. Tadamona does not exist except in your imagination, and your death could do nothing to drive off this plague. You would only add another gravestone in the cemetery, and all the village would weep for you when the disease went on unabated.” And as she did not seem to be listening, he raised his voice with sudden fury. “You fools! Your island god doesn’t live! He never did live, and he never will! Give me this week and I’ll stop this plague! Obey my orders and it will take no more of your people! Tadamona! Damn such a rotten idea!”

They stared at him with shocked attitudes, then glanced uneasily out into the darkness.

“You must not speak so,” said Christina in a hushed voice. “He . . . he will come for you.”

“How can he come for me if he doesn’t exist?” cried Billy.

“You have seen the footprints in the rock,” said Wanoa.

“A trick of lava!” shouted Billy. “No man or god has feet ten feet long!”

“You have heard him grumbling in the caverns of the point,” said Wanoa.

“A trick of the sea in hollow coral!”

“You have seen where he has torn up palms by the roots,” persisted Wanoa.

“They were ready to fall at the slightest breeze. I tell you, you can’t do this! Tadamona is in your heads, and only in your heads, do you understand? If he lives, why haven’t I seen him? Why?”

“He is too cunning for that,” said Wanoa. “And to see him, to look him full in the face, is to die. Those of our people who have seen him have been found dead, unmarked, in the streets. The wise ones here never stir about after midnight.”

“Bah! If he exists let him come and show himself to me! Let him walk up that path and call on me!”

They shrank back away from him as though expecting him to fall dead on the instant. Even Christina moved until his hand fell from her arm.

He was tired again. He felt so very alone and so small. “You can’t do this, Christina. Give me a week and I’ll stop this plague. I promise it. If I do not, then do what you like. But give me that.”

“More people will die,” said Christina. “I am not afraid.”

“It is the white blood in her,” said Wanoa. “It will quiet Tadamona. In a week, we will lose many, many more.”

Billy walked up and down the grass mat for minutes. He was weary unto death himself, and these insistent voices bored like awls into his skull. Again he flared:

“So a week is too much to give me?”

“You have had a week,” said Wanoa impassively.

Billy faced them, his small face flushed under the flickering hurricane lantern, the wind from the sea stirring his silky blond hair. For the moment he filled his narrow jacket completely. “Yes, damn you, I’ve had a week! A week obstructed by your yap-yap-yap about Tadamona. If a week is too much, how many days?”

“One day,” said Wanoa. “Not many people die in one day.”

“One day?” cried Billy. “What— All right,” he said, jacket emptying again. “One day. And when that is through I suppose . . .” He glanced at Christina and saw that she would hold to her word then.

To find out more about
Danger in the Dark
and how you can obtain your copy, go to
www.goldenagestories.com
.

Glossary

S
TORIES FROM THE
G
OLDEN
A
GE
reflect the words and expressions used in the 1930s and 1940s, adding unique flavor and authenticity to the tales. While a character’s speech may often reflect regional origins, it also can convey attitudes common in the day. So that readers can better grasp such cultural and historical terms, uncommon words or expressions of the era, the following glossary has been provided.

bale ring:
in a large tent, the canvas is perforated by holes where the support poles will be. Each hole is fitted with a sturdy metal ring, which is a bale ring. The poles are placed in the rings as the canvas lies on the ground and the rings are raised up the poles by ropes using block and tackle.

bale ring to stakes:
everything and everybody; the whole circus.

billiken:
a doll created in 1908 that had elf-like pointed ears, a mischievous smile and a tuft of hair on its pointed head. It was a symbol of good luck. Named after its manufacturer, the Billiken Company of Chicago.

bime-by:
by and by; eventually.

Black Forest:
a wooded mountain range in southwestern Germany. It is known for its highlands, scenery and woods, and in early times it was impenetrable. The Black Forest region is blessed with a particularly rich mythological landscape. It is said to be haunted by werewolves, sorcerers, witches, the devil in differing guises and helpful dwarves who try to balance the scales.

Borneo:
the third largest island in the world, located in southeastern Asia.

Brobdingnagian:
of or relating to a gigantic person or thing; comes from the book
Gulliver’s Travels
of 1726 by Jonathan Swift, wherein Gulliver meets the huge inhabitants of Brobdingnag. It is now used in reference to anything huge.

bull man:
bull hand or bull handler; circus employee who works with the elephants.

bung starter:
a wooden mallet used for tapping on the bung (cork or stopper) to loosen it from a barrel.

Chamorro:
a people inhabiting the Mariana Islands; also the language of these people.

chumps:
suckers; people who are gullible and easy to take advantage of.

coconuts, string of:
money, especially a large number of bills.

Colossus of Rhodes:
a giant statue of the Greek sun god Helios, known by the Romans as the god Apollo. Considered one of the Seven Wonders of the World, the statue stood at the entrance to the harbor of Rhodes, a Greek island, for approximately fifty-five years. It was built in 280
BC
to commemorate the island’s survival of a year-long siege. Made of bronze and stone with reinforcements of iron inside, the Colossus measured about 120 feet in height. It is sometimes said to have straddled the harbor so that ships sailing in and out went under its legs and is depicted in one account as shielding its eyes from the sun with one hand.

crumb castle:
cookhouse; where the circus crew eat.

de facto:
exercising power or serving a function without being legally or officially established.

dogfish:
a small bottom-dwelling shark with a long tail.

fagots:
bundles of sticks, twigs or branches bound together and used as fuel, a torch, etc.

G-men:
government men; agents of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

governor:
the head of the show.

gravedigger:
a hyena.

hackman:
the driver of a hack or taxi.

hawsers:
cables or ropes used in mooring or towing ships.

high traps:
trapezes high in the air or the people who work them.

high wire:
a tightwire act high in the air, or the performer on it.

hoople:
ring; the circle in which circus acts are presented. The center ring is about forty-two feet in diameter. It is heavily made, as it is where most of the animal acts perform, and it has to be strong enough for the horses to walk on.

horse piano:
calliope; a musical instrument consisting of a series of steam whistles played like an organ. Mounted on a horse-drawn wagon, it is part of the circus parade. It is typically very loud and produces sound that can travel for miles.

howdy:
howdah; a seat on the back of an elephant or camel.

John Law:
an officer of the law.

Juggernaut car:
a large forty-five-foot-tall, multi-ton chariot used in India during annual Hindu processions in honor of Krishna, also called
Jagannatha
(meaning “Lord of the Universe”). Devotees have sometimes been crushed accidentally as the massive car slipped out of control. Many have also been killed in the resulting stampedes. The sight has led to the use of the word
juggernaut
to refer to other instances of unstoppable, crushing forces.

juice joint:
a midway concession stand; refreshment stand.

kick ’em:
kickoff parade; the making of a street parade to bring people in to see the circus. Developed in the mid-nineteenth century, the circus paraded through the streets to announce its arrival and to drum up business in the community. Such parades featured marching elephants, caged lions and tigers in circus wagons, clowns, etc.

kife:
the act of bilking the locals of their money; swindle.

kinker:
acrobat or contortionist.

lot lice:
local townspeople who arrive early to watch the unloading of the circus and stay late.

mestiza:
a woman of mixed native and foreign ancestry.

mite:
a very small creature.

mitt reader:
palmist; palm reader.

pad room:
room near the animals where pads, harness and tack for the elephants and horses are kept. It is not really a dressing room, though most of the animal people congregate there and might put their wardrobe there for the kickoff parade.

physiognomy:
the features of somebody’s face, especially when they are used as indicators of that person’s character or temperament.

pony:
a unit of measure for liquor; a glass or the amount of liquor it will hold, usually one ounce (29.6 ml).

proboscis:
the elongated, protruding mouth parts of certain insects, adapted for sucking or piercing.

Prussian drill sergeant:
a drill sergeant from Prussia. Prussia, a former northern European nation, based much of its rule on armed might, stressing rigid military discipline and maintaining one of the most strictly drilled armies in the world.

Punchinello:
a comic character; Italian puppet character and probably the source of Punch, the chief male character of the Punch and Judy puppet show, dating back to the seventeenth century. He is the cruel and boastful husband of nagging wife Judy and the language is often coarse and satirical.

razorback:
circus day laborer; man who loads and unloads railroad cars in a circus.

red light:
a car; in the circus, this term is used when circus workers go to collect their pay and all they see are the red taillights of the employer’s car receding in the distance as he drives away with all the payroll.

ringmaster:
the circus Master of Ceremonies and main announcer. Originally, he stood in the center of the ring and paced the horses for the riding acts, keeping the horses running smoothly while performers did their tricks on the horses’ backs.

rosinbacks:
circus horses used for bareback riding, or the performers who ride them; the performing horses became known as “rosinbacks” by the circus personnel, after
rosin,
the non-slip foot powder that was placed on the horses’ backs and used by the performers.

rubbering:
rubbernecking; gawking or gaping; twisting or craning one’s neck as if it were made of rubber in eager curiosity to see something.

rubber mules:
work elephants.

sanctum sanctorum:
an inviolably private place.

Scheherazade:
the female narrator of
The Arabian Nights,
who during one thousand and one adventurous nights saved her life by entertaining her husband, the king, with stories.

shill:
the cohort of a dishonest gambler; a circus employee who poses as a customer, plays a game (and is secretly allowed to win), or stands in line to make the box office look busy and motivate other customers to buy a ticket for the show.

slip artist:
escape artist; a performer who entertains by escaping from confinement. Some of the performer’s tricks are accomplished by illusionists’ techniques.

spec:
spectacle; the opening procession of a circus; a colorful pageant within the tent of all performers and animals in costume, usually at the beginning of the show. Used figuratively.

spots:
circus music.

square-cube law:
the way to calculate how much the surface area of an object changes as you scale its size up or down. This mathematical law states that the volume of an object (the size of the three-dimensional space occupied by the object) will change by the cube of the scale, while the surface area will change by the square of the scale; i.e., if a 2" square block is made twice as big (2 x 2), the surface area of the block will be four times as big, but the volume, and therefore the weight, will be eight times as much (2 x 2 x 2). If one kept increasing the block in this way, it would eventually collapse under its own weight. Conversely, if an object’s size is halved, its structural strength (surface area) will be one-fourth of what it was, while its volume, and therefore its weight, will be only one-eighth of what it was. So, proportionally, it would be stronger.