Impacted (Conflicted Encounters #2) (34 page)

Son and Brother.
 

"I wanted to tell you, I met someone," I choked on the words. My throat tightened as my heart broke in my chest. "He's really good to me. I, um, I love him, and I'm moving down towards Cincinnati to live with him. It's a really small town, but it's nice. I met a lot of really nice people there. I know it's far from home, but I will come back to visit."

I sighed and let the cool breeze run through my hair. The ground was still damp from last night's rain, and the sun was barely over the horizon yet. I shivered and wrapped my jacket tighter around my body. My jeans were soaked through already from kneeling in the wet grass, but I didn't care. I needed to do this.

"I wanted to say thank you and good bye. Thank you for loving me, for always being there for me and, pushing me to be the best I could be." I meant every word.
 

Carter was always encouraging me to study more, work harder, and give more. It may have been at things I didn't want to do anymore, but that wasn’t his fault. How was he supposed to know I didn't want to run the Adam's Jewelers empire when I didn't even know? If I wanted to be a teacher, or a cook, he would have pushed me in that, too. He saw the good and the potential in everyone and everything. That was why he would have made a great leader one day. He saw what could be.

"I will always love you," I said with tears running down my face. "You taught me how to love and what it was like. I will never forget that. And now, I will be moving on with Ryder. He taught me how to love differently. He taught me passion, being consumed, and lust. But, it was you that taught me how to forgive and to open up."

I broke down into a full out sob. It had been so long since I properly cried; I had so much bottled up. My heart may no longer feel shattered inside, but I missed the man I spent so much of my life with. I missed him as a friend and as a person. He was my first love and that would never change.
 

"I wanted to talk to you here because I don't want to think of you at that tree anymore. I want to think you are at rest and you are here. Not in pain on the side of the road. Logan and Ryder are very sorry for the part they played. They blame themselves. I know you wouldn't have blamed them, so I forgave them."

I sniffled and wiped my nose on the sleeve of my sweater. "Remember when Cindy Shows tripped me in the cafeteria in the tenth grade? I was so mad that she’d gotten ravioli all over my face, but you made me walk away." I laughed at the memory. I daydreamed for weeks about pulling her silly ponytail and shoving her face into a locker.
 

"You told me to let go of the things that cause us pain and hold on to only the good. Those words play in my head every day, Carter. I love you. I always will, and you have a special place in my heart. I have to let go of the pain of losing you. I can't keep hurting, and I know you wouldn't want that for me. I have to let go of doing things that everyone else wants me to do. I need to hold on to the things that make me happy."

I paused to catch my breath and hold back the tears. I like to think he could hear me here. "I love Ryder. He makes me feel like I never have before. I started designing and making my own jewelry. A woman in town started selling them and we can't keep them on the shelves. Daddy saw some of the pieces and even wanted to give me some shelf space in the store downtown. I guess it appeals to the younger generation."

I smiled and realized the sun was almost up. The sky was cloudless and light blue. I felt lighter than I had in a long time. "Anyway, I better get going. I know Ryder will worry about me. He said he has a surprise to show me when I get home. I love you, Carter. Thank you for being so important to me."

I held my head high as I walked over the grass and back to my car in the lot. My chest felt light and my head was clear. I knew Carter would understand and be forgiving. I didn't want to feel any more guilt for moving on and falling in love with someone else. I didn’t need to be upset that I fell into a different love that Carter and I never shared. I knew deep in my heart that he would want me happy. If the roles were reversed, then I would feel the same and want the same for him.

Everyone thinks they think that, but I know. You can never really judge anyone's actions until you have been in that position and felt how they felt. No one could tell me how to feel about losing my boyfriend unless they lost theirs. No one could say they would not be as forgiving until someone needs them to be. No one can tell you there is a right way to grieve and deal with a loss.
 

The drive back home went quickly. It was the only time I was truly happy and free of worry as I headed back to the small town. I knew Ryder would be waiting for me, and we would unpack my few belongings into our bedroom. With every mile that passed, I felt lighter and happier. I was going home.

I pulled up in front of the shop, like I had several weeks ago. This time, the sick feeling in my stomach from nerves was not there. I stepped out of my car and watched Ryder's head snap up to look in my direction. His face was erased off all the concentration and eased into a smile. I closed my door and ran to him, like I wanted to when I first returned here.
 

He grunted as I crashed into his hard chest. "What's wrong?" I asked, seeing the grimace he made as I squeezed him.
 

"Nothing," he smiled as he leaned down and placed his lips on mine. I pulled away and eyed him curiously.

Grabbing the hem of his shirt, I lifted it up to reveal his six-pack abs. My breath caught in my throat when I saw the red and swollen skin.
 

Black strokes of ink lashed up his rib cage, forming a tall and ominous tree. The lines were thick and bold, almost forcing the passion and expression into me. As I followed the lines of the roots up into the trunk, I felt growth and hope. I took in the branches and saw possibility.
 

My eyes watered over and my throat tightened. I didn't have to ask if this was Scarlett's work. I felt this tree was a perfect companion to my feather: both representing the same story of love and on the same part of our bodies.
 

Ryder's eyes were locked on mine as he searched my face. I sniffled and smiled up at him. This meant more to me than asking me to move in, or buying me jewelry, or even proposing. This was an everlasting mark of our love. Past, present, and future. I knew then, without a doubt, that we would be okay. We would always have each other and believe in each other. We would always be Ryder and Kallie.
 

When a meteor hits the ground, it leaves a crater. The earth is forever impacted from the collision. Everyone has a past. Everyone has a future. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The aftermath can leave you impacted. Forever changed.
 

Ryder came crashing into my life, as I did his. We were both forever changed from the encounter. Nothing will ever be the same again. I will never do anything I don't want to do. I will never go a day, or maybe even an hour, without telling Ryder that I love him. I will soak up every moment of every day, knowing life is short and could vanish in an instant. I will never be able to undo the things we went through, but that's okay.
 

About the Author

Alyne Roberts

Alyne lives in Ohio with her husband, dog, and cat. Working full time in an office all day, she spends her nights reading, writing, or watching an entire TV series in a night. She refuses to grow up and loves Disney movies and anything with owls. She couldn't live without her coffee or her furry "children".

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Aknowledgements
 

I find it hard to believe I wrote and self-published my third book, with a fourth in process. It's been a scary, but fun, ride. I would not have done this without those in my corner.
 

Thank you Dad for never
ever
thinking any dream is too big or out of reach. You’ve never thought that any of my ideas were crazy, even when they really are. Thank you for not reading this series, even though I know you wanted to support me. It'd just been pretty weird if you read these.

I love my family: Mom and sister. I love you both and thank you for always being there for me and listening to me ramble on about my books.
 

My husband, you are the best. Thank you for your patience and understanding. I don't know how you put up with me, but I am so glad you do. I would most positively starve without you.

I have the beta readers ever. Thank you Kat, Ashley, Melissa, and Megan. You stuck with me through two books and that's amazing. Sorry for leaving you hanging. I appreciate every word of criticism and praise. No one knows Ryder and Kallie better than you girls. Thank you Taylor at T.K. Editing for working your magic again! It's amazing how you polish my words.
 

Thank you Megan and Trish at Bedroom Bookworms because you rock and gave me the time of day. I love seeing Megan in my inbox. Thank you Heather and Shannon from Sexyways of Reading for the blog tours and blitz.