Jessie Belle: The Women of Merryton - Book One (14 page)

We
checked into a beautiful suite with a mountain view. Even though we were
surrounded by mountains where we lived, I never tired of looking at them.
Besides, those mountains above Salt Lake City were where I spent the best
months of my life. I stood at the window and breathed deeply. My life was about
to change once again. We were going to finally become three instead of two, but
it wasn’t in the way I wanted. My mother kept telling me it was going to be one
of those blessing-in-disguise moments, but I still wasn’t sure about God or if
any blessings were in store for me.

I
wrapped my arms around myself at the same time Blake came from behind and
wrapped his arms around me. He kissed my cheek softly. I barely felt the
stubble from his own cheeks. “Are you ready for this?” he asked.

I
shook my head no.

“Me,
neither.”

“Ready
or not, I guess. Right?”

“I
said we would be there soon to pick them up for dinner.”

“Give
me a minute to change and freshen up.” I felt gross after being in the car all
day.

He
let me go only to pull me back and kiss me hard once. His lips lingered and I
felt a release of tension from him. “Jess, I love you,” he whispered.

“I
know.” I wanted to say I love you back. Sometimes I even felt like I meant it.
But I didn’t say it because there were still times when I felt anything but
love toward him, and when I said it next I wanted him to know it was for real
and for keeps. My mother disagreed with me on this course of action, but she
wasn’t always right. “It will be okay,” I whispered. It was the best I could
do.

“Are
you lying?” he asked playfully.

“I
would never lie to you.”

“I
know.”

With
that I left to prepare myself to meet the girl that would change my life
forever.

We
held hands as we rode the elevator down to the parking garage. I could tell he
was nervous because he was playing with my ring again.

“Do
you think we would have time to visit Montagne before we head back to
Merryton?” I asked as we walked across the well-lit parking garage.

He
halted and looked down at me. “Didn’t I tell you they sold it? It’s a dude
ranch now.”

“When
did that happen?” I don’t know why, but that really disappointed me.

“A
couple of years ago.”

“How
did you find out?”

“Dane.”
Dane was the owner of the construction company Blake used to work for in Utah.
He was one of the very few people Blake considered to be one of his friends.

“I
wonder why the Marcelles sold it.”

Blake
shrugged his shoulders and continued walking toward the Tahoe.

After
I buckled my seatbelt I turned to him. “Do you think the new owners would at
least let us walk around the lake? I hope they kept the gazebo.”

“I
don’t think we’ll have time,” he said, almost irritated as he pulled out.

“What’s
wrong?”

He
didn’t answer right away.

I
knew better than to push, so I pulled out my phone and texted Cheyenne and
Abby. We may have had the world’s longest group text going. I let them know we
arrived safely and I was on the way to meet Maddie. By the time I hit send
Blake was ready to talk.

“That
place holds some bad memories for me.”

“Oh.
It holds some of my best.”

He
turned my way as we waited at a red light and his features softened. “Jess,
meeting you is the best thing that ever happened to me, but after you left, I—”

“Yeah,
I know.” It was the reason we were here now.

“It’s
more than that. It was a dark time in my life. I did some things I’m not really
proud of.”

The
light turned green and we began to move forward, but Blake wasn’t done talking.

“Madeline
has already asked me if I loved her mom. Do you know how hard it was for me to
tell her that I didn’t? Hell, I didn’t even like her. I still don’t. What kind of
an example am I? The very thing that gave me Madeline, I wish I could forget.”

“So
what you’re saying is you don’t want to go to Montagne or whatever it’s called
now?” I tried to add some levity to the conversation. I figured it was the best
way to go since we were about to meet Maddie and Sabrina. And to be honest, I
really didn’t want to talk about how his daughter got here.

I
could see him smirk as he faced forward, paying attention to the road. “Not
really, but if you really want to, I’ll try and work it out.”

“That’s
okay. I’ll think of something else for us to do.”

He
reached over and ran his finger down my cheek. “I’d like that.”

I
reached over and rubbed his neck. “You need to relax, because one of us has to
be calm and I’m choosing you.”

“All
right. Just keep doing that, it feels good.”

I
happily complied. I forgot how much I loved the feel of his skin and running my
fingers through his hair.

It
wasn’t long before we pulled into a very rundown apartment complex in not the
nicest area of town. Who was I kidding? It was terrible, and I worried about
leaving my Tahoe in the parking lot.

Blake
easily found a parking space next to some jacked-up sedan with the biggest
spinning hubcaps I’d ever seen. As soon as he turned off the car he reached up
and took my hand from his neck and kissed my palm.

I
smiled at him. I loved that particular expression of love and he hadn’t done it
in quite some time. I took a big, deep, nervous breath. “So, this is where they
live?”

“Unfortunately,
for now.”

If
I knew Blake—and I did know him—Maddie would not be living here once we
returned her to her mother. I was surprised he hadn’t already removed her from
the premises.

We
walked up the old, wooden, paint-peeled stairs to the second floor. I wasn’t
sure if I was more nervous about meeting Maddie or seeing her mother again. The
jealous side of me wanted to claw her eyes out, or at least give her a piece of
my mind. She knew how I felt about Blake and how devastated I had been when we
broke up, but it wasn’t like we were the best of friends. I knew I shouldn’t be
jealous—Blake obviously had no feelings for her—but she had known my husband
intimately and shared a child with him, and that was a hard pill to swallow.

Blake
knocked on 27C and then reached for my hand. It lent me some comfort, at least
briefly. I lost his hand to his very exuberant daughter, who opened the door
with gusto and flew into her father’s arms.

“Dad,
you’re here.”

There
she was in all of her glory: unruly dark blond hair, long legs, and her arms
wrapped around my husband. Blake reciprocated nicely and hugged her tightly.

A
lump rose in my throat, but I at least prevented the tears from forming.
Believe me, they wanted to come out.

After
a few seconds Blake released her and put his arm around me. “Madeline, this is
my wife, Jessie.” The only time he used Jessie was when he introduced me. It
was like he didn’t want anyone else to call me Jessica, and I was fine with
that.

“Jessie,”
she said loudly as she hugged me. I was not expecting that at all. At the very
least I thought she would be wary of me. I honestly thought she might hate me.
After all, I had married her dad while her mom was pregnant with her.

I
remembered that I was going to be friggin’ Maria von Trapp, so I put my arms
around her in return, albeit a little awkwardly, and patted her back. She was
almost as tall as me, which wasn’t saying a lot, but it was weird. “It’s nice
to meet you, Maddie.”

She
let go of me and looked up at her father. “See, Dad? She calls me Maddie. Why
won’t you?”

I
laughed softly. Blake wasn’t into nicknames.

“I
like the name Madeline,” is all he offered. “Where’s your mom?” he asked her.

Her
face and shoulders immediately dropped.

Both
Blake and I looked at each other, concerned.

“She’s
not feeling well. She’s resting on the couch.”

We
followed her into the dingy apartment that was uncomfortably cluttered with
laundry, old pizza boxes, magazines, and who knows what else. It also smelled
of cigarette smoke. I hated to think that Sabrina was smoking, especially
considering she was being treated for cancer. I was trying not to stare too
closely as Blake held on to me and led us through to their small living room. I
was suddenly so grateful for my life, and even more grateful for it as I looked
at my old roommate sitting on the couch, wrapped in a stained, white blanket.
She was no longer the beauty I remembered. Her hair was thinning and shaggy,
she had a couple lower front teeth missing, and a completely defeated look to her;
maybe that was from her glazed-over eyes. I felt horribly guilty for every
mean, spiteful thought I had had about her the past several weeks.

I
looked down at my outfit and wished I had dressed down some. I had thrown on a
chambray shirt dress and paired it with red shoes and accessories. It wasn’t
dressy, but I felt extremely overdressed in present company. Madeline was
wearing a tank top and tiny shorts, like too-tiny shorts. I had already noticed
Blake’s look of disapproval.

Madeline
sat next to her mom, but not too closely, as her mom looked me over and landed
on Blake’s and my clasped hands. I didn’t feel guilty for that, especially
after everything we had been through lately as a couple. The fact we were
holding hands was a miracle of sorts.

“Hi,
Sabrina,” I said nervously to the rhythm of my pounding heart.

“Jessie,”
she said raspily and somewhat out of it.

“Are
you ready to leave?” Blake asked somewhat insensitively, but I think he was
just as nervous as me and, to be honest, their apartment had this icky feel to
it. I think we both wanted a quick exit.

“Why
don’t you take Maddie? I’m not feeling all that hot.”

“No
problem,” Blake said immediately, relieved.

“Are
you sure? We could stay here and order something in.”

Blake
looked at me with wide eyes.

I’m
not sure why I said that because believe me, I wanted nothing more than to leave,
but she didn’t look like she should be left alone. She seemed off. I thought
she was in between treatments, but maybe they were giving her some type of pain
medication or something. All I knew was she wasn’t right.

“No,
no.” She waved. “Maddie has been looking forward to this,” she slurred. “And I
have a friend coming over.”

That
made me feel somewhat better about leaving. I guess Maddie did too, as she
jumped up. “Let me grab my shoes, Dad.”

I
think she liked saying dad. I guess it was new to her, so that made sense. She
ran down a small hallway and disappeared from view.

“Well,
you still look as good as ever,” Sabrina said to me.

“Oh,
uh, thanks.” I wasn’t sure what to say back—I couldn’t say the same—but she
kept on going, unfortunately.

“You’re
lucky you never had kids, it wrecks your body. I mean look at you, your boobs
are still perky, you still have a waist, and your legs don’t have veins bulging
out.” She almost sounded drunk.

I
squeezed Blake’s hand like a vise and took a deep breath. I made myself not say
anything. I looked at her in her pathetic state and turned the other cheek; she
had no idea about our situation or about what my poor body had been through.
But I thought as a mother she shouldn’t talk like that. It made me angry that she
did.

Blake,
on the other hand, wasn’t into turning the other cheek. His face was red like
the coals in a fire. “You have no—”

“Blake,”
I interrupted. It wasn’t worth it.

Maddie
reappeared at the exact right moment excited to leave in her cheap flip-flops.

“Let’s
go,” Blake said.

Blake
turned us to leave, holding onto me tighter than ever. I could tell he was
livid and trying to shield me from any other verbal assaults.

“Bye,”
Maddie called to her mom.

“Where’s
my kiss, brat?” Sabrina said somewhat playfully, but I didn’t like her undertones,
neither did my husband.

Maddie
reluctantly turned back and kissed her mom on the cheek.

“Don’t
you cause any trouble,” Sabrina warned.

“She’ll
be fine,” Blake said with warning in his voice. He held out his free hand to
his daughter and she gladly took it. I was proud of him for thinking to extend
her such affection. It was something my own father would have done for me. I
always knew Blake would be a good dad.

Sabrina
waved us all on and then went back to watching what looked like some trashy
reality television show that wasn’t appropriate for Maddie, in my opinion. I
think I heard more four-letter words than I’d heard all through high school in
the few minutes we stood there. I was trying not to judge the situation by
those few moments, but Sabrina was not “mother of the year” material in my
book. No wonder Blake was anxious to get there. It made me feel guilty I asked
him to wait a day so he could play in the game.

Once
we were settled in the car Blake turned to Maddie, “Where do you want to eat?”

“I
get to pick?”

We
both nodded at her.

Her
eyes lit up like we just handed her a prize. She was easy to please, that was
for sure. “Can we go to Provo?” she asked.

“Yes,”
her dad said. “What’s in Provo?”

“There’s
this really yummy pizza place there called Brick Oven.”

I
smiled over at Blake. We had been there.

Then
Maddie added, “My friend’s parents took us there one time. I asked my mom to
take me back, but she said it was too far and too expensive. ”

Blake
and I looked at each other uncomfortably. Maddie just said things like they
were.

“Well,
we haven’t been there in a long time and we would love to take you,” I told her
in my best Maria von Trapp voice.

“When
did we go there?” Blake asked.

I
rolled my eyes. “On our third date.”

“Really?”

I
shook my head at my husband before I turned forward and put on my seatbelt.

“Do
you remember where this place is?” Blake asked me.

“I
think it was near BYU’s campus, but I’ll look it up on my phone.”

Blake
made his way to I-15 while I looked up the directions on my phone. We had
plenty of time. Provo was about forty-five minutes south of Salt Lake City.

“Your
car’s nice,” Maddie said from the backseat. “And it’s really clean.”

“Thanks.”
I turned back to her.

I
was surprised to see her sitting there so comfortably.
If I were twelve and two semi-strangers were taking me to dinner, I would have
been as quiet as a lamb.