Last of the Summer Tomatoes (15 page)

Kyle stiffened at first, then let himself relax into Sam’s arms. “I can try.”

Sam stroked Kyle’s hair. “That’s all I ask.”

There was a shuffling in the hallway. Glenda’s voice came through the door. “You two okay?”

Sam let Kyle go and opened the door. “I think so, Mom. I… I’d like to sleep in here tonight, if that’s okay. I… I think he needs someone to talk to or just, be there.”

Glenda reached up and smoothed the hair from Sam’s face. “I think that would be okay. Love you, son.” She kissed his cheek, then headed to her own room.

Sam closed the door behind him. “I… I guess I should have asked you first. I can stay, or go, or….”

“You… you asked her, and she said yes.” Kyle couldn’t believe what he’d heard.

“She knows what you’re going through. Well, sorta. She saw what I went through. And she trusts me not to be inappropriate with you, especially right now.”

“But….”

“I told you I would never lie to my parents. If she had said she didn’t think it was a good idea, I would have dealt, but I think she understands you might need someone. And all we’re going to do is sleep. Or talk. Pops isn’t expecting us to help with the milking in the morning. We can sleep in. That is, if you want me to stay.”

“I… I think I’d like that.”

“You still okay with all this? With me?”

Kyle touched his lips, remembering how Sam felt against him. “Yeah. I liked that.”

Sam again pulled Kyle to him, this time leaning down to kiss him. “You want to talk?”

“I think I’d like to lay down. Maybe talk, I don’t know. I just… I like….” Kyle pulled back a little.

“Tell me what you want. I told you, I want you to feel good about yourself. I want you to be able to express yourself. And nothing you could say will change the way I feel about you. Nothing you could say will make me think any less about you. I want you to be able to tell me anything, ask me anything.”

“How… what do you know?”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“About… dating, I guess. Sex.”

“Not much actual, practical knowledge about sex, although I know how it’s done. I read
The Joy of Gay Sex
in high school.” Sam gave him a shy grin. “I told you, that’s for a committed relationship in my book. I do know about making someone feel good, about, well, everything but the actual sex, I guess.”

“I don’t… I don’t know anything.”

“I don’t expect you to.”

“But I know I like it when you put your arm around me. When you kiss me. I like that. I like being close to you.”

“So, let me be close to you. I swear, right now, I won’t push for anything else. I won’t ask you to do anything you don’t want to. All I ask is that you trust me.”

“I do.”

“Wow, I got a declarative statement from you.” Sam grinned, then kissed him.

“I told you I’d try. And I am, really. And right now, I’d like….” Kyle nodded, looking Sam squarely in the eyes. “I’d like to lay down with you and just… feel.”

“We can do that.” Sam stepped back, stripping his shirt off, then his socks and jeans, and standing there in his boxers. “This okay, or should I go get my sleep pants?”

“I… I’m good with that.” Kyle cautiously reached out and touched Sam’s chest. “You… stunning.”

Sam placed his hand over Kyle’s, holding it close to his heart. “I’ve never been called stunning, either. I think dating an artist is going to do wonders for my ego.”

“I just can’t believe…. I can touch?”

Sam cocked his head. “Of course. Touch all you want.”

“It won’t… I mean, what if….”

“If that happens, then all it means is that I like it. That you are making me feel good. I promise, nothing,
nothing
is going to happen that you don’t want, especially tonight. Your emotions have been through hell and back. You’re not in the right mind for anything other than me holding you. So, you want to lay down?” Sam moved toward the bed and pulled down the covers. Kyle stood frozen to the floor.

“You aren’t ready for this.” Sam leaned down and grabbed his clothes. “Why don’t we go downstairs, get some coffee, talk some more?”

Kyle grabbed Sam’s hand before he could put his jeans back on. “No, I want….” He took a deep breath. This actual verbalizing what he wanted was going to take some getting used to. “I want to lay down with you.”

Sam grasped both of Kyle’s wrists in his hands. “Whatever you want.”

Kyle stepped back and pulled his t-shirt over his head, shucked off his own jeans. He hugged himself as he stood in the middle of the floor.

“You still okay?”

Kyle nodded. “Just not… no one’s seen me like this.”

“I saw you at the creek.”

“That was… different. That was swimming. This is… intimate.”

Sam placed his hands on Kyle’s waist, holding him close. “Only what you want.”

Kyle leaned against Sam’s muscled chest. “I want to lay down.”

“Okay.” Sam turned off the lamp, then crawled into bed. He scooted over to make plenty of room for Kyle.

Kyle slid into bed, apprehensive about being in the same bed with Sam. But the moment he laid his head on his pillow and Sam’s arm came around him, all his worries evaporated. They both fell fast asleep.

Twelve

I
T
WAS
still dark when Kyle woke up, at first a little disoriented as to where he was. A heavy hand on his hip and a snoring sound grounded him. He was in his room, Sam next to him. They had moved a little during the night. Kyle was now face to face with Sam, and his own hand was brushing up against Sam’s chest. He wanted to reach out and trace the fine lines of his chest, touch the soft skin over the sculpted muscle, but he held back. Sam twitched slightly and a thrill went through Kyle’s body. Then he realized he’d woken up like a lot of teenaged boys do, and he had no idea what to do about it. He didn’t want to move away from Sam, didn’t want Sam to move his hand, but there was an urge there he didn’t want to ignore. For the first time, he wanted to feel good about his body, feel good about someone else. Then Sam’s hand moved, and their bodies touched, chest to groin. Kyle took in a hiss. Sam was in the same “condition” he was. He stared at the rise and fall of the chest before him.

“You okay?”

A very quiet voice roused him from his thoughts. He looked up into very sleepy but vivid green eyes. He could hear the chirp of the crickets, the call of the birds just waking up. It was noisy and quiet all at the same time, and he never wanted this moment to end. Feeling brave and totally secluded at the moment, his entire world just he and Sam… Kyle kissed him.

Sam smiled. “I take it that’s close enough for an answer.” Sam hugged him closer.

Kyle’s body responded without his brain connecting. He rubbed up against Sam, both of their “conditions” touching. Then his brain engaged, and he pulled back.

“I’m… I didn’t….” Kyle kept his voice low, quiet.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’ve woken up like this before, haven’t you?”

Kyle nodded. “I usually try to ignore it.”

“Do you want to ignore it now?”

“I… I’m not sure. I….” Kyle laid his head against Sam’s shoulder. “I like being this close to you, but this is not… normal.”

“Yes it is.”

Sam moved slightly, bringing their bodies back together, the lightest of touch. The sensation turned every nerve in Kyle’s body to the “on” position. He scrunched his eyes closed and bit his lip hard.

“Hey, hey there, don’t do that. You’ll draw blood.” Sam rubbed his thumb over Kyle’s lips.

“I… I need to stop. I need to get up.”

“If that is what you want.” Sam started to pull away, but Kyle held on. “Kyle, what’s happening here is perfectly normal. If you want to finish, it’s okay. Allow yourself to feel, to react. My parents are at the other end of the hall, and believe me, the walls are pretty thick.”

“I….”

“It’s okay. Rub up against me. It’s okay. I’m not going to touch you. You do what you want.”

Kyle moved his hips closer to Sam. This felt good, very good, and it felt right. He grabbed Sam’s biceps and kissed the little valley between his pecs. The thin fabric of his boxers stimulated him further and within a few minutes he felt a flush through his body, and he let out a moan. He quickly shut up and moved his groin away from Sam.

Sam placed his hand on Kyle’s hip. “Never feel bad about making yourself feel good. You look sexy.”

“Sexy?”

“Yeah, you do.” A clang of dishes startled them both. “Sounds like Mom is up.”

“Yeah, I… I need to….”

“I understand.” Sam reached across and handed Kyle a tissue. “Mom thought I had severe allergies when I turned twelve. Took her a little bit to figure out what was going on.”

Kyle felt a blush creep over him. “I… try not to, you know.”

“And I’m sorry about that.” Sam cupped the back of Kyle’s head and kissed his forehead. “Here, you can do whatever you need to, okay?”

“Thanks. Uh… um… what about you? I felt….”

“When you… well, I did too.”

“You didn’t touch… I didn’t touch….”

“Seeing you let loose, even just for that little bit, it was enough for me to respond.”

Kyle’s eyes went wide. “Really? Without… anything?”

Sam gave a little laugh. “Yeah, really. It’s because, well, I have an emotional connection to you. And well, you were kinda rubbing up against me a little. It… it didn’t take much.”

“It can happen just because you like me?”

“It’s a little more than just like, but yeah. You’ve been through so much, had very little to even smile about and to see you let go just a little, it means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me.”

“You mean a lot to me too.”

“So, we getting up or sleeping in?”

“Can we stay like this for a bit?”

“Pops said we could sleep in. Hang on.” Sam grabbed another tissue for his use. “I hate this part of feeling good. It sucks when it dries.” He tossed the tissue into the wastebasket. He drew the covers up over their shoulders, creating a little cave for just the two of them. “Come here.”

Kyle moved in closer, not afraid of his own body any longer.

A
COUPLE
hours later they emerged from Kyle’s bedroom. Walt was out with the cows. Glenda was sipping coffee and reading the paper. She took her glasses off and smiled.

“You two sleep okay?”

Sam reached down and grasped Kyle’s hand. Kyle let him. It was still weird, but again, it felt natural. He did duck his head a little, conflict still within him.

“Yeah, Mom, we did. Thanks.”

Glenda got up to turn the stove on. “How do we want our eggs this morning?”

Sam kissed Kyle’s cheek before letting his hand go and sitting down. “I’ll go over-easy if you would, please.”

“Kyle?”

He cleared his throat. “The same, please.”

Glenda broke some eggs open into the pan and pulled some sausage and biscuits from the warming oven. “Juice is on the table, coffee’s pretty fresh.” She kissed Sam’s head, then Kyle’s as she set the food down.

“It looks delicious as usual.” Sam dug in to the sausages. Kyle sat with his hands in his lap.

“Kyle, you okay?” Glenda pushed an empty glass toward him.

“Yes… just a little out of sorts I guess.”

Glenda paused, placing her hand on his shoulder. “That is very understandable. Walt has the cows this morning. Why don’t you two work in the greenhouse after breakfast? The mail brought me more seeds, mostly herbs. I know they’ll do well in a greenhouse. I figure we’ll start small for the first winter.”

“Sounds great.” Sam turned to Kyle. “You want to go for a ride after? Maybe take a lunch, make an afternoon of it?”

Kyle looked over at Glenda as she put eggs on both his and Sam’s plates. “It is Sunday. Sounds like a good way to spend an afternoon. I can pack you two some sandwiches, if that’s what you want. Since Walt and I didn’t get to see our movie, I think we’ll just settle in on the couch this afternoon. Nothing else is urgent around here.”

Kyle picked up his fork. “I… I think that’s okay. I like riding.”

“Well it’s settled. You two get the herbs going. I’ll pack you up some goodies.”

Kyle finished his breakfast a little before Sam and excused himself to head out to the greenhouse. It was hot, more humid than it had been previously. He opened all the windows to let a cross breeze in while he worked with the pots and soil. He started with some basil, one seed per pot as Glenda had shown him earlier, then moved on to some chives. He was finishing up a row of ten pots when Sam walked in.

“How’s it going?”

Kyle shrugged, not looking up from his work. “Basil is done. Chives almost.”

Sam stood behind him. “You’ve been very quiet since we got up.”

“Am I supposed to talk? To say something?”

“Well, no, you don’t have to. What’s going on in that head of yours? Are you overthinking things again?”

Kyle put down the trowel and looked out over the pasture. What had happened last night, this morning, it was all too surreal for him. It was one thing to be close, be in bed, like they were all alone in the world; it was another to have to face the light of day. “I feel different. I don’t know how to act.”