Laughter in the Wind (9 page)

Rebecca felt flushed and a little disoriented. “Slow down a little, Bec,” Olivia said softly. “It’s okay. Remember where we are. Won’t the parents be back in a little while?”

“Oh. Oh, yeah. Parents.” Rebecca was having a little trouble organizing her thoughts. She turned to lean forward, elbows on her knees, and stared blindly at the TV.

“Are you okay?” Olivia asked, the concern obvious in her voice.

“Yeah,” Rebecca said. “I’m the most okay I think I’ve ever been. I’m just not sure…” She trailed off into silence, unsure how to finish her thought.

“Not sure of what, exactly?” Olivia gently prodded. She reached to hold both of Rebecca’s hands in her own as if she could feel what was going on inside of her.

“Um, lots of things. But I am sure of one thing,” she said, sitting up straighter and turning to look again into Olivia’s eyes. “I could become addicted to your kisses.” She leaned in to kiss her again, demonstrating the truth of her words.

After several seconds of pure bliss, Rebecca was the one to back away. Olivia’s words had remained in the back of her mind—
parents.
She was sure she wasn’t ready to talk to them about making out with Olivia on the sofa in their living room. “As much as I am enjoying this, I think we have to stop for now,” she said.

“I know,” Olivia said, disappointment evident in her tone. “The parents.”

They sat silently, smiling and holding hands as each drifted in the sea of each other’s eyes for a few minutes. Then they both rose together, as if on cue, grabbed their empty Coke glasses and the popcorn bowl and headed to the kitchen. Rebecca returned to the living room to put away the movie and turn off the TV. When she entered the kitchen again, Olivia had refilled their glasses and sat down at the table. She was shuffling a deck of cards she’d found on the counter. Rebecca sat down opposite her and she dealt out a hand of rummy. “You do play rummy, don’t you?” Olivia asked.

Rebecca nodded. “Don’t tell Grandma.”

“Don’t tell Grandma what, about playing rummy, or about kissing you?”

“Uh, well, maybe both. I know what she’d say about us playing cards. She’d let us have an earful for that. The kissing, well, you never know what Grandma will say about some things.”

“Oh.” Olivia sounded relieved. “What about your parents?”

“Don’t worry, they play cards,” Rebecca teased. Then, more seriously, she added, “This is kind of new territory for me and for them. I mean, both my sisters married guys and gave my folks all the normal grief about dating.” She suddenly felt a little shy, embarrassed to let Olivia know she had never dated, never even kissed anyone until that night. “I just never was interested in any of the guys at school.”

“What about the girls?” Olivia asked. “Did you have a girlfriend?”

“No,” she answered honestly. “I might as well ’fess up.” She looked at the table as she continued. “I’ve never kissed anyone until tonight, guy or girl.” She closed her eyes, unwilling to face the truth she had allowed to escape into the room.

Rebecca found the silence in the room deafening so she looked up from the table. Olivia had gotten up quietly from the table and had come around to her side. She squatted down and placed her hands on either side of Rebecca’s face. “Thank you. Thank you for trusting me enough to let me be your first. I’m flattered.” She kissed her briefly then leaned back on her heels to look into Rebecca’s eyes again. “By the way, you do a pretty damned good job of kissing for someone with no experience. The guys and girls you went to school with don’t know what they missed.” She smiled and chuckled a little, then rose to her feet and returned to her chair.

Rebecca didn’t know how to respond. She felt a little foolish but honored at the same time by Olivia’s words. She just blushed hotly and smiled a sheepish smile.

Olivia asked her again, “So, what about your parents?”

“Mom and Dad would probably need a little time to get used to the idea but I think they would come around. They’re already used to me doing things differently than either of my sisters. I don’t think I’m ready to bring it up tonight, though,” she added quickly.

“Don’t worry, I won’t kiss and tell,” Olivia reassured her. “I do hope to get another opportunity to kiss more in the future, though.”

“I think I could go along with that,” Rebecca said softly.

* * *

Rebecca lost three hands of rummy in a row before her parents returned. She was usually very competitive with cards, but losing wasn’t bothering her tonight. She was continually distracted by Olivia, by her eyes, her hair, her skin, her lips… She felt nearly weightless sitting in the chair, as if she were floating in a cloud of warmth and euphoria.

Rebecca’s mother sat and talked to them for a few minutes before retiring for the night. She said nothing about Rebecca’s distracted manner. She did seem surprised when she looked at the pad of paper where Olivia had been keeping score. “Rebecca, are you coming down with something?” she teased, putting a hand to her forehead. “I’ve never known you to lose three hands of rummy in a row.”

Rebecca blushed a little but all she could come up with for a response was a drawn out, two-syllable, “Mo-om!”

“Okay,” Beth said laughing. “I’ll leave you alone. Don’t stay up too late. Rebecca, show Olivia where the towels and washcloths are, if she wants a shower. I’ll see you girls at breakfast.”

“Goodnight, Mom.” They were getting pretty good with responding in unison to her and their eyes met as they both smiled.

Two rounds later, Rebecca was starting to tire. It had been a day of high emotions and she was suddenly exhausted. She set Olivia up with towels for her shower then took one of her own as soon as she heard Olivia make her way to the guest bedroom. When she came back to her room, Olivia was sitting on the end of her bed dressed in an oversized T-shirt and boxer shorts, looking ridiculously adorable. Rebecca had been using a towel to dry her hair as she walked, ruffling it back and forth to absorb the moisture. At the sight of Olivia, she moved the towel quickly in front of her chest, suddenly self-conscious in her thin tank top and shorts. She pushed the door closed behind her, cautious that their voices might wake her parents.

“I just wanted to tell you good night,” Olivia said. “Also, thank you for helping me investigate my mystery, or I should say
our
mystery. I really had a wonderful day, even before you let me kiss you.”

“Good night,” Rebecca said, sitting down beside her. “Thank you for helping me link my mystery to yours. I had a great day too, and I am so glad you decided to kiss me.”

She kissed Olivia’s soft, luscious lips, this time very aware of the presence of her parents two doors down the hall, and with enough restraint not to lose herself as completely as before.

Olivia moved away slowly then stood and walked away. She stopped at the door, turned and said softly, “Sweet dreams.”

“Sweet dreams,” Rebecca replied, equally softly.

Seconds later, she heard the door to the guest bedroom close quietly. For several minutes Rebecca sat on the edge of her bed staring at her image in the dresser mirror. She shook her head, not understanding what Olivia could see in her. Her hair was quickly drying in a whirlwind of directions. She noticed with dismay that her bare arms showed four markedly different tan lines. Her unremarkable features and nearly flat chest would never stop traffic.

Olivia, on the other hand, was the type that definitely could stop traffic. Rebecca closed her eyes and saw Olivia’s smooth complexion complementing her sensuous lips and pert nose. Long eyelashes fluttered over enchanting green eyes. Her smile warmed Rebecca effortlessly. She fell back onto her bed without closing the door and was asleep in minutes, dreaming of soft, smooth lips and delightful curves.

Chapter Eight

Sunday morning, Rebecca awoke into a new world.

She felt different, like she finally fit into her own skin. All her struggles with change over the past several months, all the worry when her mind didn’t seem to work like the minds of her friends—now she realized she simply hadn’t given herself the opportunity to consider all of her options. The pathways she had considered just weren’t right for her. The idea of making future plans with another woman was a possibility she hadn’t thought about. But now that she was thinking about it, that type of future held endless potential.

Thinking back, she remembered learning from her friends what to look for in a guy, who was hot, who wasn’t. But these weren’t things she noticed unless prompted by her friends for her opinion. She had noticed Olivia’s appearance immediately. She knew Olivia was a very attractive woman from the instant she set eyes on her in the dim light of the old courthouse. When Rebecca allowed it, Olivia could easily dominate her thoughts and daydreams. No one had ever done that before. She grinned foolishly as she realized that Olivia might even be worth all the drama which she had found so foolish and distasteful in her friends’ lives.

She had heard the discussion many times about whether it was right or wrong to be gay. Some of her extended family belonged to fundamentalist churches and they said that gays would go to hell for their sins. She had never been quite sure she believed that because it seemed to her that God loved all his children, not just those who fit a certain pattern. This felt really right for her, like she had always been gay and just hadn’t figured it out yet. So, if God made her this way, it must have been for a reason. And she didn’t believe God made mistakes so he must have wanted her this way.

When she looked back over the past several years of her life, she realized that all those things she thought were strange about how she thought or acted while she was growing up weren’t strange at all—if she were a lesbian. She felt like herself again, like she knew who she was again, and that had been missing for a long time, since childhood in fact.

“Morning, Mom,” Rebecca said in the kitchen, reaching into the cupboard for a cup. She tried to sound nonchalant as she asked, “Seen anything of Olivia yet this morning?” Truthfully, Olivia had dominated her thoughts since before she had walked out her bedroom door. Rebecca poured her coffee and sat down next to her mother.

Her mother laid her paper down as if to get a better look at this new version of her daughter. “Actually, she must be an early riser. She’s already had a cup of coffee and your father is giving her a grand tour of his machine shed. I’m not sure why, but she seems to find farm equipment interesting,” she said with a wry smile.

“I think it’s just all new to her, Mom.” Rebecca knew her mother was teasing but still felt compelled to explain. “Dad loves a receptive audience so I’m sure they’re enjoying themselves.”

Her words were proven true seconds later when the two entered the back door, laughing and talking about his trials with his antique tractor. He had a newer tractor which Rebecca usually chose to use but his favorite, the Allis-Chalmers, was older than he was and seemed to be broken down more often than not. He had driven all over Missouri and called all over the country looking for parts in an attempt to keep it running. Rebecca never really understood what was so important about it, but it apparently was worth the effort to him.

She watched as they shook off the morning cold. Her father hung his lined flannel jacket on the coat rack and tossed his ball cap onto the top spike above it, then reached for Olivia’s leather coat, hanging it up beside his. Rebecca watched Olivia turn away from him and scan the kitchen, settling quickly on where she sat at the table. Their eyes locked and everything else faded from Rebecca’s mind.

“Biscuits are in the oven and now that sleepyhead here is awake, I’ll get some eggs going,” Rebecca’s mother said, tousling Rebecca’s hair as she walked around her. “Rebecca, get the eggs out for me and grab the bacon, too.”

Rebecca was glad for the chores her mother directed her to do for the next several minutes. She had been instantly entranced when she had locked eyes with Olivia. The green of Olivia’s eyes was brilliant this morning, no doubt enhanced by the emerald-green blouse she had chosen to wear. Rebecca had been unable to pull her eyes away until her mother intervened. She knew she would be unable to conceal how enamored she was if she continued to stare at her.

Breakfast was on the table quickly and Rebecca’s father and Olivia kept up a discussion about farming in the rocky Ozark hills. Rebecca tried to keep her mind on the conversation instead of gaping at Olivia. As she listened, Rebecca realized that many facts of life she had taken for granted were not common knowledge to those outside of rural Missouri.

Finally, her mother broke in and asked if they were planning to do any research that day.

Rebecca answered first. “We figured out everyone in the picture but Ralph. I thought maybe Grandma might know something more. If we hurry, we might be able to catch her before she goes to church this morning. Is it okay with you, Mom? We can help clean up the kitchen when we get back. I’ll feed the cows then, too.”

“You two run along and do your detective work,” her mother insisted. “I can always work you harder another day to make up the difference,” she teased Rebecca.

“Thanks, Mom,” Rebecca said, giving her a quick hug. She hurried down the hall after Olivia, grabbing her notebook and jacket along the way.

In the front seat of the Buick, caught up in the mystery again, Rebecca was surprised when Olivia reached over to hold her hand. She maneuvered the Buick around potholes in the gravel road with one hand while squeezing Olivia’s hand with the other.
It feels really good to just touch her,
Rebecca thought, and she smiled as she weaved the old car along.

A comfortable silence ensued throughout the short trip, with both lost in her own thoughts yet still linked through their hands. They exchanged a long, warm look after Rebecca stopped the car in front of Grandma’s house. “We’re here,” she stated the obvious, at a loss for meaningful words, breaking the spell so quickly created between them.

They clambered out of the old Buick and walked side by side up to the door where Grandma was waiting for them. Rebecca wondered briefly if Grandma had noticed them sitting looking at each other for the long moment when they had arrived but there was no indication she had. They both received her trademark greeting and Olivia again responded to the warm bear hug with an equal squeeze for the affectionate woman. Rebecca suspected that unlike her own childhood, Olivia’s had not been filled with these frequent displays of affection and she wasn’t taking them for granted as Rebecca tended to do.