Let It Burn (28 page)

“Tucker never came home for visits. We rarely spoke, except for in letters....a few calls. I knew Tucker had his truth at last so I wanted mine. Then he died. I felt guilty because I knew I could live my truth now while he never really got a chance to live his.” Tears streamed down my face as I remembered the guilt that had nearly eaten me alive.

Though I had loved Tucker, had even given him my innocence, I had not been in love with him. I had always wondered how I could tell the difference. When I lost him, I hurt because we were so close and no one else knew him like me. For over three years I planned a wedding I knew was never going to happen.

That last phone call had freed me but I loved him enough, he was my best friend, that I would have lied for him as long as he wanted. When he passed I knew I could be really, truly free while he had just gotten a taste of it. So instead of moving on, I mourned him as the entire town and everyone who knew us expected me to.

Moving here had been a big middle finger to Tucker’s memory to some people. They expected me to die a widow even though I never got to be a wife. Our relationship was so romanticized by the entire town; it felt like I might never escape it. I couldn’t come out with the truth because it would devastate his family all over again. They loved Tucker and me as a couple, treated me like a daughter.

When I left, his mama had taken it hard but I couldn’t bear the weight of their loss anymore. I loved Tucker for half my life, and part of me always would. Once I wondered how I might know if it was different. Then, I met Cage Cooper. What I felt for him, in just days, was more than I had ever felt for Tucker.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I don’t...I know what it’s like to lose someone, but not like that. I…I...how long ago was it?” His touch, his gentle fingertips at my jaw, swiping away tears, whispering over my lips, brought me back to him.

“Almost two years ago. Christmas makes it two. Cage,” I reached out to cup his strong jaw, holding his gaze, “I loved Tucker because he was always there. I trusted him. We were always together, and we were always
expected
to be together. We...we shared just about everything but he kept his truth, who he was inside, from me almost until the end. I never shared who I really was with him either. I never...” Cage shook his head when my breathing picked up.

“Baby you don’t need to give me more than you can. Only what you can, Sugar. I know...how losing someone important can hurt. I only need to know what you are ready to share, Sugar.”
Sweet Jesus
he was perfect and I fell more every time he opened his perfect mouth. Or touched me. Or looked at me.

“Cage. We were....Tucker was the quarterback and I was a cheerleader and we were homecoming king and queen. I was expected to wait for him while he fought a thousand miles away. Then marry him in front of the whole town then sit at home giving him children. How long have you known me?”

“Charli...it’s been,” Cage glanced at the watch on my wrist and seemed to calculate; I went gooey all over watching how damn cute he was, “ninety-seven hours, forty-eight minutes.” His sexy dimple flashed and, unable to help myself, I leaned up and flourished a wet kiss there.

“Hmm, yes. Almost five days. Tell me anything about that story sound like it fits what you know of me?” Cage shoved closer, which I didn’t think was possible, his hand tightening at my throat.

“I believe you were a cheerleader. I expect demonstrations in fact. Preferably sans panties but definitely with pom poms. I don’t believe for one fucking second you want to be what anyone else expects you to be. Or that you might want to be a baby factory to someone you are not passionately, forever in love with. Tucker was not your forever.”

“No, Tucker was not my forever. I was not his. That truth,” I took a deep sigh hoping he could understand my not sharing it all, “is not mine to tell. Not yet. But y-you.... are the first person I want to share it with. You scare the shit out of me, Cage Cooper. I lost Tucker and I loved him as much as I thought I could, even though I knew it wasn’t enough. If I lost you....” I didn’t want to say more because it was already too much.

“You won’t lose me, baby. I could lose you too,” He took a shaky breath and his next words were thick and full of emotion, “you could run away and no matter how long I chase you could never let me catch you. Or you could cross the street in the middle of rush hour and... I am risking just as much as you by wanting you, baby. Just as much. Besides...you...having you, fuck if that don’t give me a good reason to be safe.” My thighs tightened as his voice went rough with emotion and I drew my thumbs over his full lips.

“You make me feel things I never even knew could be felt. I don’t want to give you power over me,” His expression clouded before I went on, “but it’s already too late. You have all the power over me you need to make me try. To make me not want to run.” Cage let out a strangled sound and bowed his head against mine, dragging his lips over mine.

“Sugar,” The word came out full of lust and need and maybe more, “you know you run this, right? Anything...I will do anything for you, Charli. I don’t know why it’s this way, why it’s so strong, so intense. I want you. I don’t care if it’s been ninety hours or nine. I know what I want, Charli. If you want me.... I’m yours.” Cage’s husky words built a fire in my belly that scorched through my veins when he finished with that.

“I want you, Cage.” I meant it no matter how scared I was. I didn’t want to risk not feeling what he made me feel.

“Then I’m yours, baby. As long as you want, however you want me.” Forever is what I wanted to scream; truth is I didn’t even think that truth would scare him.

“Come here; let me show you something I want.” Cage laughed deep in his chest and it pulsed through me from my lady bits to everything else.

“You’re so fucking perfect.” Then he was so close my nipples pebbled against his firm chest as his hands slid down my back, cupping my ass.

Cage claimed my mouth and me at the same time. I was his and he was mine and it was the scariest shit I had ever felt. I was consumed by need for him; for him to know everything about me, to share everything about him.

Spreading my legs a little, I urged him closer with my knees at his hips before locking my ankles behind him. Cage growled, waking my aching pussy up with the needy sound. I pressed into him, wanting him to ease that ache because only he had ever been able to.

What he did to my body was like nothing else I had ever felt. Even long frustrated nights with my hand and a good trashy novel were no comparison. Without needing to ask, Cage knew when and where to touch me. When to press closer, when to let me catch my breath. I didn’t want to breathe if I wasn’t breathing in his taste, his scent, feeling him surrounding me. It was obsessive and crazy and probably not healthy.

I couldn’t care less. I had lived my life for other people long enough. I wanted Cage and he wanted me; for once I was letting myself have what I wanted and Jesus it felt good. I was crazy about him, and like he said it didn’t matter if it was ninety hours or ninety days, I knew what I felt. Every moment, every second I was falling more in love with this man.

It made no sense and scared me and might rip me to shreds if I lost him. But, like Maisie said, at least I would know what it was like to feel that way. To have someone feel that way about me. I wanted him in every possible way I could have him.

I promised myself as he pressed me back onto the table, it was okay to hurt if I lost him. That I would forgive myself if he hurt me or broke my heart. Because I had come here to find myself. When I found Cage, I think I did find part of myself. I believed he would let me find the rest, too. I didn’t want to need him but I did. I told myself that was okay too. I could forgive myself for lasting a week before I let someone else consume me.

After all, I never had a chance. Cage made certain of that.

1

Cage

Charli tasted like sugar and oranges and felt like fucking heaven. I had her pinned to the table in the privacy of the periodical section. I wanted to spread her legs and dive inside of her. My hips settled my aching cock between her legs and Charli let out a cry that I knew was not proper for the library.

Lifting away from claiming her mouth, my breathing ragged, I watched her in the sunlight. The sun spilled over her, colored by the stained glass window set into the wall above us. She was so fucking beautiful and she was mine. Details had been dealt with. Charli was mine and I was fucking crazy about her and she knew it. It was okay though, because I knew she was crazy about me too.

We had come here to talk, and I had listened to her story about her past. Engaged. God that had ripped my heart out. Until she soothed it and wrapped her tiny hands around it and made me whole again. Because he had not been the love of her life like I feared. Tucker was not the ghost I had to battle.

The memory of her not being in love with him when everyone thought she should be, of her losing someone she had shared her life with, those were her ghosts. Even if it had been Tucker, I would have battled that ghost too. The tightness in my chest had eased the more she talked about him because I knew I didn’t have to compete with some great love.

Instead, staring down at her as my hands shoved up her thighs, yanking her to the edge of the table, I knew something she didn’t. I would be the great love of her life. Because she was going to be mine. I didn’t want or need to fix her or make up for the losses in her life. I just needed to let her find herself; part of that was her realizing I was part of her. Had been before we had even met, I was sure of it.

I would give her anything she needed. I’d wait for her to heal however long it took and help piece together whatever parts of her that were missing. I would adore her body and take care of her heart and looking up at me, I think she realized that.

“Fuck you’re so beautiful. I love your perfect mouth,” My thumb swiped over it, then my fingers trailed down her neck, “your beautiful eyes and the way you laugh. Jesus your laugh goes right to my dick. I love your long legs, and your perfect tits and this delicious ass.” My hands cupped it and tugged, shoving her skirt high on her thighs.

“Cage...” Charli arched off the table and I bent over her, dragging my lips over her full pink mouth, swollen from my kisses.

“Sugar, I won’t fuck you here,” I growled against her ear, “not the first time I make you mine. Do you need me to make you come, baby? Tell me you do.” Charli whimpered as her fingers yanked at my hair.

“Yes. God what have you done to me,” Her hips rocked against mine as she struggled for friction, “I come apart the minute you touch me. I never...Cage no one else has ever made me...” My teeth bit into her shoulder and she cried out, her hips bucking.

“Sugar? Am I the only man who’s made you come?”
Jesus fuck
that would drive me crazy if it was true.

“Yes. Yes...I never...we never...,” I flattened my palms on the table, caging her in as I looked into her eyes, urging her to go on, “the night Tucker left.... just once in the back of a truck like fumbling teenagers.” I tensed against her as I broke away more, needing my head to clear.

“Sugar, when I fuck you, which I plan to very soon.... will I be the only other one since then?” Charli looked away and flushed all over and I growled.

“Does it.... disappoint you?” Charli had hinted at not having been with many men, but I had no idea she meant just one.

“Look at me,” Charli bit at her lip and I had to tug at her chin, “look at me, Sugar. It bothers the shit out of me that one other man touched you. I feel like a piece of shit because my resume is too stacked in comparison.”

“It's different for you,” Charli sighed and blushed again but never looked away, “you’re so sexy, in a big city, with this body and those eyes...I expect it to be a lot...and maybe that’s okay because then you know I’m different. That...I’m special.” Love flooded me as need clawed through me, making me want to take her and prove her right.

“Oh Sugar you are special. I’m focusing on you saying shit about me being sexy,” I smirked as I hovered over her again, “because that turns me the fuck on. You, Sugar, are the sexiest thing I have ever laid eyes on. I have thought of fucking you a thousand different ways, all day, every day since I met you. Ask me my truth now, baby. Seems like the right time.” I pressed my hard cock into the seam of her, knowing the friction of my jeans against her bare pussy would drive her crazy.

“I don’t want to know. Tell me anyway, Cage. It might hurt less when you’re making me hot.” Charli watched me as her hips rolled with mine, rubbing her clit just right against my zipper.

“Shit don’t say that; I don’t want to hurt you. I want you to know though. I kept track because I didn’t want to be like Finn or Hunter. Eight women have had me inside them,” I thrust my hips and she moaned, “I have tasted five of them and ten women have had me in their mouth. Sometimes the same woman. I had rules. Always wore a condom. Never stayed the night. Never even brought them home with me. I never said their names. I never kissed them after the first girl. Not on the mouth. Never more than four times with the same woman. Never more than twice a month with any of them.” Still I rocked against her, my hands touching her everywhere, her slender throat, the swell of her breasts through her sweater, her thick thighs, and her mouth.