Lost in Flight (15 page)

In a strange way, Christina felt some satisfaction and comfort in the knowledge that she wasn’t the only one that reverted to an imbecilic child in this weird relationship they had going on.  “I can’t talk to him, Bonnie.  If that’s what you’re asking – I can’t do it.” 

“No,” Bonnie snapped.  “You won’t do it and that’s different.”

Christina laughed without mirth.  “I used to tell him
everything
.  Now, we can’t have a conversation without acrimony or bitter recrimination.  It doesn’t leave the communication channels open for healthy discussion.”

Bonnie sighed.  “But you still go sleep with him right?  And then fight for the whole neighborhood to see.  I worry about you, Dina.  I really do. I just hate seeing you open yourself up to this type of pain.  It’s masochistic and unhealthy.”

“I thought you said you didn’t care if I slept with him,” Christina queried.

Bonnie laughed.  “I lied and I don’t care about Riley.  I care about you, which brings me to the other stuff.”  Bonnie paused for a bit and then burst out quickly.  “I don’t know if your little avoidance/denial thing is going to work anymore.”

Christina had a bad feeling about this and with some trepidation asked, “Why?” 

Bonnie pulled a face.  “I’m not sure if I should tell you this, but I’m going to and please – do not tell anyone else, because it will cost me okay?”  When Christina agreed, Bonnie said quietly, “Riley is buying a large property in Seattle.  He’s going to build a place and move back here.” 

Christina failed to see what that had to do with her or how any of it was her business.  Bonnie pursed her lips and scrunched her face up.  “He’s going in with Johnny, your father, and um, Mandy, and Dave.” 

“WHAT?”  Christina felt like she’d been punched in the solar plexus.  “None of them told me,” she spluttered.  “NOT ONE.  I was with them for two weeks and they didn’t say a thing.”  She sat there fuming.  “Oh-my-god.  They talked about guitarists, records, bands, superheroes, even boobs, but they didn’t say one effing thing about this.”

Bonnie stared at her quizzically.  “Boobs?”

Christina waved her question away.  “It’s irrelevant.” 
Why, why, would they do this and not tell her?

Giving Christina a sideways look, Bonnie sighed.  “It’s quite a recent development.  Mandy never got the chance to tell you.  I don’t know why the others haven’t, but Riley asked me to start checking out potential properties last week.  It’s not a definite yet.” 

Her eyes were huge as she turned to Bonnie snapping.  “WHAT?” 

A sheepish Bonnie nodded.  “Yeah – he’s asked me to act as the agent for them and I’m telling you, Dina, with the economy the way it is, this is a big deal for me.  They plan on building a housing complex, with a recording studio and everything.” 

Christina felt sick and more than a little betrayed, not by Bonnie, but with her family.  It shouldn’t have been left to Bonnie to tell her.  Someone – one of her family members – should have told her.  They’d had plenty of time, but hadn’t.  Probably because they knew she’d get upset.  Heaven forbid! 

“I’m pretty sure it’s got everything to do with Gabby where your Dad and Johnny are concerned,” Bonnie said.  “Johnny wants to be based here and so do Mandy and Dave.  Mandy’s father is sick and she wants to be in the same state as her parents, not on the other side of the country.  I don’t know why Riley is in on it.  He didn’t elaborate when I got the call and I didn’t ask.” 

Christina’s eyes filled with tears and she started to snivel.  She didn’t know if it was the extra hormones in her system, the drama of the weekend, or life in general.  Bonnie was horrified.  “Don’t cry, Dina. Come on.  We – we – we can work this through.  There must be a reasonable explanation for this.” 

When Christina stayed silently crying, Bonnie groaned.  “Say it, Dina.  Get it off your chest.  It’s me.  I’m your best friend.  I’m sick of you keeping everything locked away until it explodes out. 
Say it
.”

“I can’t,” Christina cried.  “
I can’t
.  If I say it out loud, it makes it real.”

“You have no problem screaming at Riley.  Do you?  I want you to take a deep breath and let it out to me. 
To me
, Dina” Bonnie growled.

“It’s selfish.”

“So what?”  Bonnie laughed.  “What’s wrong with being a little selfish?  If you don’t put yourself first sometimes, no one else will.”

“You know they choose him over me – all the time,” Christina sniffed.  “It’s like I’m only part of this family nominally and they don’t care how I feel about – about anything.  They didn’t even ask my opinion.  They say they want us to be close again and then they do stuff like this.”

Bonnie grinned.  “That’s better, but you know that’s not true, right?  Your family loves you.”

Christina shook her head.  “Love – yes?  But it’s like I’m the classic, ignored, middle child.” 

Bonnie couldn’t help herself and giggled, “Ignore?  You?  Do you remember yourself as a teenager, Dina?  You were impossible to ignore.  By the way, tissues in the glove box.” 

Christina laughed a little.  “I mean – my ex-husband?  They’re going to build houses and live with my
ex-husband
.  This is unbelievable.” 

Bonnie agreed, but the Martins had always been a weird tribe.  Christina might have been rebellious with a side order of crazy, but apart from the Riley factor, she was solid and lived in the real world.  She took after her mother that way, but her family’s continued relationship with Riley
was
strange to Bonnie.  She would never put up with it.

They were silent for a bit and then Bonnie replied.  “Maybe you need to tell them how you feel.  Come on, Dina.  Stand your ground.” 

Christina snorted.  “What would it change?  I don’t think Dad or Johnny would get it.  Johnny would do his passive aggressive thing and Dad would strum his guitar, thinking a family harmony would fix it. ” 

Bonnie had to press her lips together because she could picture it and it was funny, but hell horrible too.  “You could try, Dina…”

“If we’re really being honest, Bonnie,” Christina confessed, “I’m too scared to ask them the question of who they’d choose between, me and Riley.  I’m not sure I want the answer because I can’t guarantee it.”  The thought scared her.  It was one thing to be distant from your family by choice, but it was quite another to have them reject you for your ex-husband.

“You’re not serious?”  Bonnie whispered.

Christina screwed her face up.  “I am.” 

Thinking about the absurdity of the situation, her mind went to places she didn’t want it to.  She was never going to be rid of him, or whomever he connected to in the future.  When pictures of the holidays with her family and Riley and his future family formed in her mind, she exploded.

She snarled, startling Bonnie.  “I look forward to spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with them
and
Riley.  Oh and I can’t wait until he has a wife and kids to stick in my face too.  That’s going to be just - just awesome.” 

Bonnie said quietly, “Would that bother you?”  

“Of course it would bother me,” snapped Christina. “It’s okay when I can’t see him.  Out of sight, out of mind, but I don’t want that in my face.  I don’t want him or him in combination with other people and what if he married Stephany Gilmore?  I think I
really would
kill him.”

It was too much for Bonnie and she laughed.  Every time Bonnie thought she’d stopped, she’d think about it and laugh again.  “He’s not going to do that,” Bonnie giggled.  “You know that right?  Stephany Gilmore?  Seriously?  Come on.” 

Christina shook her head.  “I couldn’t stand that Bonnie.  Ugh - having to compete with Riley for a place in my family is bad enough, but Stephany Gilmore as well?  I would leave the country.”  She didn’t share Bonnie’s security about Riley and Stephany Gilmore.  There was always the possibility he’d do it out of spite if he ever knew how much it would bother her. 

Bonnie tried to channel Mandy’s optimism, but it didn’t come naturally.  With a forced upbeat tone she said, “Hey, maybe you’ll find someone first and it won’t matter?” 

Christina sighed.  “It’ll still matter.  Besides, I wonder how my fantasy new husband would like having my ex in the picture being treated like he’s the favorite son by my family?”

Looking at Christina, Bonnie agreed.  “You’ve got a point there.  I can turn this deal down you know…”

Christina shook her head.  “No way.  They’re going to do this and the one positive thing for me is that it’ll be good for you.” 

Taking Christina’s hand and giving it a squeeze, Bonnie said, “I had no idea how you felt.  I’ve always thought you were way too forgiving where Riley and your family were concerned. 
Too
understanding, you know if you catch my meaning.”  Smiling at Christina Bonnie nudged her arm.  “You’ve always got me.  You know that right?  I’m on your side no matter what.” 

Christina did know that.  She’d always known that.  If there was ever anyone that would fight in Christina’s corner without mercy, it was Bonnie. 

She grinned at Bonnie.  “We still on for being spinsters and living together in our old age right?  Cats, cabbage, being smelly – the whole works?” 

Bonnie pulled a face.  “No cats, but I’m in – definitely.  We need rocking chairs and money for seriously hot strippers.  We maybe old, but we don’t have to be celibate or sad.”

Christina laughed and Bonnie joined her.  As a backup plan, it didn’t sound too bad.  She made a decision then and there.  If her family went through with this:  that-was-it. 

They’d made their choice and she would withdraw from their lives for good.  No more Ms. Understanding.  If they wanted Riley over her, they could have him.

“Feel better?”  Bonnie grinned.

Christina shrugged her shoulders, but her eyes sparkled.  “I’m still not sleeping with you.”

“Pffft,” Bonnie snorted.  “As if I’d be so desperate.”

The two women made Seattle by late afternoon and Bonnie set Christina up in her spare room.  They ordered pizza and talked until both started yawning, and then headed off to bed.  Christina fell asleep dreaming of the Martins and Riley as the girls from Charmed.  In her dreams her Mom was there as the ghostly mother figure.  Gabby played Phoebe, Johnny, Piper, and Dad was Leo.  Symbolically, Christina played Prue and Riley was Paige.

********************

Riley, Seattle, The Present, Sunday 7 October 2012

Jed was laughing so hard his shoulders were shaking and he had to wipe his eyes.  He had a laugh that Riley usually found infectious, but right now, Riley wanted to punch him in the face.  Glaring at Jed he snarled.  “It’s not funny,” which made Jed laugh even harder. 

The two men were sitting on the couch at the townhouse sharing war stories about the Martin sisters.  It had taken Riley four beers to open up and now he wished he hadn’t.  It wasn’t funny; none of it was funny.

Looking at Riley, Jed smirked.  “So let me get this straight – you got chased out of town by a little slip of a girl?  AHAHAHAAAA.  This is priceless.” 

Riley shook his head.  “Hey – you’ve never seen her in full flight.  It’s like her all round bat-shit crazy, psycho-ness gives her super powers.” 

Jed fixed Riley with his warm brown eyes.  “Lest we forget, mate.  I helped Christina Martin drag her drug-addled brother out of a hotel room
for you
.  Granted, she was a fearsome sight to behold - awe inspiring of almost volcanic proportions.  It’s actually one of my favorite memories, even though sadly, she doesn’t remember me.” 

Holding his arms open theatrically, Jed grinned.  “But I can’t blame her.  I-was-in-disguise.”  Riley rolled his eyes at Jed, but he just smirked. “I’ve often used Christina’s line – you know.  Yes I have.”  Shaking his head, Jed’s smile grew wider with admiration.  “Your girl said and I quote:  ‘Come at me and I will knock you the fuck out’.  It was beautiful.  Sheer poetry.  Unless I’d seen it with my own eyes, I would never have believed that she could wrestle Johnny out of that place the way she did.” 

Riley nodded.  “Yes.  Christina is freakishly strong when she’s angry and agh, she’s not
my girl
.”  Not anymore.

It often occurred to him that Jed had missed his true calling as an actor.  Instead, he’d had to make do as an ex-MMA fighter, turned top personal security guard.  They’d met years ago when Riley was on what he termed his ‘road trip’, but was, in actuality, when he was on the run from Christina.  She’d served him divorce papers and he refused to sign them. 

Instead he’d broken up with her and left town.  He knew it would drive her crazy (or crazier) and it did.  He’d underestimated her response though – something he’d never do again.  It was like accidentally grabbing hold of a feral cat, maybe with rabies and without protective gear.  She’d often accused him of being a slow learner, but he’d learnt his lesson on that one.

Jed was still talking and Riley tuned back in when he heard him say, “I was fully prepared to hate her on your behalf, you know.  But she’s not that bad, maybe a bit quirky, and high-strung?  No.  It’s the little one I’d be worried about.  Christina?  You know where you stand with her, but Gabby.  Uh.  She’s got a dark gift.  Looks all sweetness and light, but she can be evil.  I reckon she’d be the one that’d take a blowtorch to a man.” 

Riley made a noise in the back of his throat in disbelief.  Christina would have no problem taking a blowtorch or any fire-wielding tool to him if given half the chance.  Instead he said, “Maybe you should try marrying her, Jed?” 

Jed shrugged.  “Hmmm.  She’s not a bad prospect.  Quite tidy, in a sexy librarian sort of way – a bit on the thin side for me - but not a bad set of headlights.  Still her feistiness would compensate for any flaws.  Does she have Irish in her?  She must have Irish in her.” 

Riley sighed and met Jed’s eyes that were full of mirth.  Jed had a penchant for trying to connect anyone he admired to some Irish ancestry and winding people up until they lost it.  Under normal circumstances, Riley would have found the humor in it because it was just Jed, being Jed.