Loving Vin (Barretti Security Series, #1) (13 page)

“I needed you, you son of a bitch!” she yelled.

“Stop,” he said when she continued to fight him.

Tears began coursing down her face as she kept repeating that she’d needed him over and over again and every time she said it, he felt like she was stabbing him.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as she continued to say it between choked sobs. She finally quieted and didn’t fight him when he pulled her against his chest. But the tension never left her body and when she pushed against him with both arms he released her.

She dashed at her wet face with her sleeve. “I thought if I gave you enough time you’d find a way to be okay with the things about us that are so different. I thought you’d see that my age is just a number. That I wasn’t looking for you to take care of me. That I could be more than just a victim.” She reached down to grab the garbage bag off the floor where it had fallen during their tussle.

“I made that reporter wait for more than an hour because I was sure you’d show up. Because I needed you that much...” she whispered brokenly as she reached blindly behind her for the door handle.

As she turned to leave, Vin’s voice caught as he said, “Mia, please don’t leave me.”

M
ia tried to force herself to step through the door but her body wouldn’t listen to her brain and she just hung there on the threshold. Bane and Briego, who’d both been outside, came through the door, their tails wagging with excitement. But the sensitive animals seemed to pick up on the tension in the air and they both dropped quietly to the floor.

“I wanted to believe you didn’t need me,” she heard Vin say. “Because if you didn’t need me...” When he didn’t continue, Mia forced herself to turn around. His head was hung low as he stared at the hands he was rubbing absently-minded together, but it was the sheen of tears on his face that had her quietly shutting the door.

“My brothers needed me to keep our family together even though I’m the one who destroyed it in the first place. Rafe needed me to keep my promise to bring him home. Ren needed me to find him. Dom needed me when he was burying his wife,” Vin whispered, his voice cracking.

He lifted one hand to cover his eyes as a gut-wrenching sob escaped him. “My baby needed me to keep her safe from the mother who didn’t want her.”

Mia had no clue what he was talking about but she didn’t need specifics as she closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around him.

“I never wanted to fail you too,” he said against her neck as hot tears hit her skin and his arms closed around her waist.

“You didn’t,” she said softly. “You didn’t fail anyone, Vin.”

Vin stiffened against her when the dogs both suddenly jumped up and disappeared down the side hallway. A moment later there was barking outside and the sound of an engine.

“Dom’s here,” Vin said as he released her and used his hands to wipe his tears away. The door pushed open a moment later and Dom froze at the sight of them.

“Hey. Everything okay?” he asked with trepidation as he closed the door behind him. His gaze darted from Vin to Mia.

“I’m sorry for making you come all the way out here Dom, but I’ve changed my mind,” she said.

She heard Vin’s sharp intake of breath behind her.

“No problem,” Dom said though he was clearly confused by what was going on. “You sure?” he asked her as his eyes fell on the discarded garbage bag.

“I’m sure,” she responded.

“Okay,” Dom said as he reached for the door handle.

“Dom, can I talk to you before you go?” she heard Vin ask.

Dom nodded. Mia reached for the garbage bag and started towards the stairs but Vin snared her hand as she walked by. She let him lead her to the living room and when he pulled her down onto the couch next to him, he left no space between them and didn’t release her hand. Dom dropped into the chair next to the couch.

“Dom, I need to tell you something I should have told you a long time ago, but I was ashamed.” Vin’s grip on her hand tightened. “I’m the one who told Dad about Mom cheating on him,” he whispered brokenly.

Dom seemed taken aback by the confession but he remained silent so Vin could finish.

“I was so angry with her,” he admitted. “All I could think about was how she lied to him...to us.” Vin dropped Mia’s hand so that he could run his fingers through his hair as he lowered his head. Mia kept up their contact by placing her hand on his leg.

“I never thought he’d do what he did,” Vin said hoarsely.

“Why would you?” Dom asked gently. “He never once raised a hand to her...to any of us in anger. There was no way you could have known, Vin.”

Vin shook his head at his brother’s words.

“I was always closer to her than I was to him but if it had been me who found out, I would have done the same thing,” Dom said. That seemed to surprise Vin and he looked up.

“You’ve always carried so much of the responsibility, Vin. Even before they died. But you were still just a kid.”

“I promised to keep us together.”

“There were some things you just couldn’t control, Vinny,” Dom said. “We lost Rafe to an unjust system. And Ren...if anyone can survive, it’s Ren. You taught him that, Vinny. How to be strong. How to have faith – you taught us all that.”

Dom reached out his hand to grab Vin’s. “You’re one hell of a big brother, Vin. I just wish you’d start believing it.”

Vin nodded briefly and Dom stood and leaned down to press a kiss to the top of his head. “Call me in the morning,” he whispered and then he left the room.

Mia took Vin’s hand in hers and gently said, “Let’s go to bed, okay?”

***

“H
ow was the interview?” Vin asked as he tightened his arm around Mia’s waist. As soon as they’d laid down on the bed, he’d pulled her back against his front so there’d been no space between them but it still didn’t seem like enough...he’d come so close to losing her.

“Scary,” Mia said and he felt her fingers caressing his where they were resting on her abdomen. “The reporter seemed nice and Dom said I did well.”

Vin leaned down to kiss the back of her neck. “I’m so sorry-” he began to say but Mia turned her head and stole his remaining words with a kiss. It went on for several long seconds before she drew back.

“Just hold me, okay, Vin?” she said as she settled against him once more.

That he could do. As much as he needed to try and figure out what would happen next, keeping her close was the one thing he was absolutely sure of. She’d seen him at his most raw and vulnerable, but she’d stayed. When he’d needed her most, she’d stayed.

“Tell me about the baby,” he heard her whisper and an automatic pain tore through him. As much as he hated remembering that time in his life, he owed her the entire truth.

“It was almost seven years ago,” he said. “Elise was twenty-three when I met her – she worked the front desk at the gym I went to. It was just flirting at first, then we dated casually. I liked how fun and spontaneous she was but as I got to know her better she started telling me about the rough time she’d been having since her parents died and her brother was deployed. She never came right out and said it, but I knew she was struggling financially. She kept telling me how much she loved me and that she wanted to build a life with me. I asked her to move in with me after a few months.”

He hadn’t realized he’d been silent for a while until Mia tightened her grip on his hand. “What happened?” she asked gently.

“It didn’t take long for me to figure out everything that came out of her mouth from the day we met was a lie. Her parents were alive and well and were sending money to her every month for tuition and living expenses – they thought she was still enrolled in graduate school but she’d dropped out six months earlier. There was no brother at all – I guess she figured I’d be more sympathetic to someone with a family member who was serving. And there were at least half a dozen other guys she was seeing on the side. But when I kicked her out she told me she was pregnant and it was mine. Even though we’d been safe, I knew there was always the slim possibility that it could happen.”

Mia turned in his arms and kept enough distance between them so she could see him. It unnerved him to have to look her in the eyes as he recalled the worst time in his life aside from losing his parents and brothers, but she ran her fingers through his hair and didn’t push him to continue.

“I made her have a sonogram to prove she was telling the truth. When I heard that heartbeat...” he whispered before his voice broke and he needed to catch his breath. “When I heard it, I knew it was mine. Even if it didn’t share my DNA, in my heart I’d already decided it was my baby and I wanted it more than anything I’d ever wanted in my whole life,” he admitted.

He didn’t realize silent tears were sliding down his face until Mia wiped them away.

“She threatened to get rid of the baby more than once if I didn’t give her money for clothes, an apartment, a car...the list was endless. I finally made her a deal to pay her to carry the baby to term. She agreed to give up her rights for a million dollars and I paid her half as a deposit. I made a terrible mistake, though. I thought her greed would be greater than her hatred of me. Maybe if I’d given her less up front...”

“She didn’t keep the baby?” Mia asked.

He shook his head. “She paid some doctor with a suspended license to do a late term abortion. But she made sure to find out it was a baby girl first and she sent me a birth announcement...”

His voice broke as harsh sobs consumed him. “She sent a fucking picture...” he managed to grate out. The day he’d opened that card and watched that horrid image fall out of it and onto his kitchen counter even now had him wanting to vomit like he’d done then.

He had no idea how much time had passed before the tears slowed and he was able to get his breathing under control. Mia’s arms were wrapped around him and she was cradling his head against her chest as she murmured soft, soothing words in his ear.

When she whispered, “I love you, Vin” his heart nearly stopped. Joy went through him at the words but were quickly followed by a sense of terror. What if she was just caught up in the moment? Or worse, she felt sorry for him? What if what she felt for him was what he’d thought he’d felt for Elise and it also turned into something ugly and hateful?

God, he did love her but the words clogged in his throat. She was young and kind and beautiful and she had her whole life ahead of her. She had worried about not being enough for him but the truth was that he might not be enough for her.

He struggled to find the right words to say but Mia took the issue away when she leaned down and kissed him. After that, there was no room for words.

***

“M
ia, wake up, baby.”

Mia snuggled farther under the comforter, the soft material sliding over her skin. Last night had been a high and low of emotions and not hearing Vin tell her he loved her too had been devastating. But then he’d made love to her and any doubt she’d had about his feelings disappeared because she’d seen what she needed to see as his eyes held hers as his joined their bodies together. He’d finally looked at her and he’d let her see him – every part of him. Whatever he was still struggling with, she knew the words would come eventually.

Big hands turned her and then soft kisses were being brushed over her mouth. His weight settled down on her once she opened to him but when she felt the fabric of his clothes beneath her palms, she forced her eyes open.

“Are you going to work today?” she asked. It wasn’t unheard of for Vin to work on a Saturday but she’d hoped that after the hellish day yesterday that they could just spend some time together. It took her a moment to realize that what he was wearing was completely wrong for the office or a day at home. They were the same clothes he’d been wearing the night he’d come home and found her hiding out in his house – fatigues.

She instantly sat up, ignoring the duvet as it dipped precariously low around her chest.

“Ren?” she asked quickly, her body tightening with anxiety.

Vin nodded.

Fear went through her because she knew the danger that awaited Vin but the hope that went through her was even greater. Vin needed his brother back. He needed to bring Ren home.

“We got an anonymous email this morning with a GPS location. It’s a long shot-”

“Go,” she said quickly. “Go get him.”

Relief seemed to go through Vin and he stole another kiss. “Dom and Logan are going to come stay with you,” he began to say. Mia was about to protest but he silenced her with another kiss. “Please Mia, I need to know you’re safe while I’m gone.”

“Yes, okay,” Mia said quickly. “Be careful,” she whispered.

“I will,” he said before kissing her once more. His eyes lingered on hers and then he pulled away. “Be back soon,” he said quickly as he hurried from the room. The front door opened and closed a moment later and she found herself squeezing her eyes shut and saying a quick prayer asking God to bring Vin safely back to her. And then her thoughts shifted to Ren and she hoped liked hell that the brother Vin found was the same one he’d lost.

***

M
ia’s gut clenched at the sight of Logan and Dom embracing in the kitchen. She’d gotten used to seeing the two men’s stolen kisses and lingering, emotion-filled glances in the past week that they’d been staying with her at Vin’s house but the sound of Dom’s soft crying had the panic firing through all of her nerve endings. Words escaped her as she stood in the entryway to the kitchen. How would she survive if they told her something had happened to Vin?

Dom finally caught sight of her and pulled free of Logan. “They found him, Mia,” Dom said as he laughed. “He’s alive.”

It took her a long moment to realize Dom was talking about Ren and that had been the cause of his tears. She closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around Dom. She felt Logan’s arm settle around her as he joined them and she reveled in how good it felt to be a part of the emotional moment. Dom finally released them both and grabbed a towel off the counter to wipe at his damp face.