Marrying Kate (2 page)

"It’s not a joke, Jared. Steve, Jen, Dad and Stephanie were killed in a plane crash." Kate rubbed her arm, sure it would be bruised the next day. "I would never joke about something like this."

Jared stood staring at her, his eyes bleak, his shoulders slumped. She could see the pallor even beneath his tan. Suddenly he looked much older than his thirty-five years. "What happened?"

Kate decided that even if Jared didn’t need to sit, she did. Once she
was settled on a stool she looked at him again. "You knew that Steve had learned to fly, right?" Jared nodded. "Well, he decided to take Jen, Dad and Stephanie up for a flight. Something malfunctioned in the engine and it crashed in a farmer’s field. There were no survivors."

Kate longed to offer him comfort
, but she wasn’t sure he’d accept it from her. It had been a couple of years since she’d last seen him, and before that they’d never been more than casual acquaintances brought together by his brother marrying her sister.

Jared rubbed a hand over his eyes. "When did it happen?" he asked, his voice thick with emotion.

"September. The Labor Day long weekend."

Jared’s hand dropped. "Six months ago? Why wasn’t I contacted?"

"I tried, Jared. I really tried. I searched until I found a number for you for emergencies
, but when I talked to the guy who answered, he said you were out of contact for the next six months. I told him it was important he contact you, but he said it was impossible. I told him if there was any possible way, to please try it. Then four months later someone phoned to say you were dead."

Jared shook his head. "This doesn’t make any sense. I made contact as planned, in January. They said nothing to me about this. What’s going on?"

Kate just sat still, not sure what to say. Then Jared’s head jerked up and he pinned her with an intense gaze.

"The kids. How are the kids taking all this?" He walked over and stood across the counter from her, his large hands braced on the smooth surface.

"As well as can be expected. They were just coming to accept things when we got the news about you. It was a pretty rough time. They’re doing a bit better now though."

Relief passed briefly over Jared’s face. "I’ll talk to them in the morning. Right now I need to.…"

Kate nodded. He needed to get himself together. It was something she knew well. She did it on a daily basis so the kids would never think she was anything but strong and in control.

Jared turned and left the room without even a word of good-night. Kate sat and listened as the front door opened, then shut. The silence returned
, but it wasn’t as threatening as it had been earlier.

She was no longer alone.

Kate didn’t sit there for long. She cleaned up the kitchen then headed for bed. She stopped to peek in on each of the children, glad to see them sleeping soundly. In her own room, she quickly changed
into her pajamas and crawled into bed.

She picked up her Bible from the nightstand. In these past six months her Bible had been a source of comfort and even tonight she couldn’t rest without reading something from its pages.

Kate needed peace tonight. Jared’s arrival might have solved a few problems
, but it also created a whole new set, not the least of which was what her role would be in the children’s lives now that he was back. It still hurt more than anything knowing that Steve and Jen had not chosen her as guardian for their children. Instead they’d chosen a man who spent most of his time in the jungles of some third-world country doing God only knew what.

No one thought she was mother-material, or that she had any desire to be anything but a career woman. They were all wrong. She would have tossed her career
away in a second for the chance to be a wife and mother. Actually, she had tossed away her career, at least temporarily, for the four children sleeping down the hall from her.

Kate let her mind dwell only briefly on the fact that she was now unemployed. After granting her a five month leave of absence, her employer had fired her when she’d asked for an extension. They had said they needed her and if she couldn’t come back they would have to hire someone to fill her position on the team. She hadn’t had a choice. The rock had been her employer and the
hard place had been the kids.

And now Jared was back. He’d find out he was the sole guardian of the kids and would probably send her on her merry way because he, like everyone else, thought she lived for her career. But the kids needed her, she was sure of it. And Kate was even
more sure that she needed them.

As t
urmoil swelled to life within her, Kate turned her attention to the Bible that lay in her lap. She needed some comfort tonight. Her fingers quickly found the 8
th
chapter in Romans that contained the verse she sought.
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God
.
She did love the Lord and because of that, Kate believed that He’d work things out for her and give her the strength and grace to get through the rough patches that lay ahead.

*****

Jared stormed into the dark apartment and tossed his bags on the floor. A staleness hung in the air. The place hadn’t been aired out in months. Jen had always freshened out the small converted garage once a week since they never knew when he’d be returning home.

Jen.
Her name brought a wave of sorrow. His beautiful sister-in-law and his beloved brother were gone. Jen would never again bring him baskets of freshly baked cinnamon buns. Jared closed his eyes. He could almost smell them.

In his mind Jared could see her, green eyes dancing with laughter as she flirted with Steve or played with the kids. Full of life. Full of love
. But now gone.

And Steve. They’d been close
their whole life. It was a closeness forged when their parents had spent more time on their careers and socializing than with their children. Neglected, they had clung to each other and become best friends. Steve and his stupid jokes. Steve and his incredible mind. On more than one occasion Steve had gone off on some deep subject that had left them yawning from boredom. Jared would give anything to be bored by Steve now, but he was gone. Gone forever.

Jared reached to rub his eyes and felt the dampness there. He didn’t know how long it had been since he’d last cried
, but the grief he felt couldn’t be contained. With a roar of rage he slumped onto the couch and buried his face in his hands.

Finally the first wave of grief ebbed and a measure of sanity returned.
Exhausted mentally and physically, Jared sat slouched on the couch feeling bereft of all support and love. Finally, with the slow movements of an old man, he stood and picked up his bags.

After a quick shower, Jared turned off the lights and tumbled into bed. He wanted to sleep. He desperately longed for the oblivion sleep would give him
, but it wouldn’t come. And it wasn’t just the grief that kept him awake, it was what Kate had told him of his own death. There was something very wrong there and he needed to find out what it was. Possible explanations popped into his mind but none of them made any sense.

Trying to calm his thoughts, Jared turned his mind towards Kate. He’d been surprised to see her at the door earlier. Jen had always said she was a career woman through and through. Jen, on the other hand, had lived for her family, and he had been part of it for these past nine years. In Steve and Jen he’d seen a real love that he hadn’t run across before. They had been perfect for each other
, and Jen had become the ruler by which he’d measured all other women. None had even come close.

In the rare times he’d allowed himself to dream of a family, it had been of finding a woman like Jen. One who would love him, faults and
all. Who would find fulfillment in raising a family and creating a home. He knew such women were few and far between but after having Jen in his life, he knew they were out there. And with four kids depending on him, he’d need one more than ever now.

Jared finally focused his mind and concentrated on blanking
everything out in order to fall asleep. It was a talent that had come in handy in his work, to be able to sleep wherever, whenever. Tonight it was a struggle though, since his emotions ran so high, but eventually his control won out and he drifted off to sleep.

When he woke the next morning the sun was shining brightly through the windows of his bedroom. Jared stretched, thinking as he did how glad he was to be home. This was the last trip. He knew that Jen and Steve would be glad to hear that.

Jen and Steve.
He froze in mid-stretch as last night’s conversation with Kate came flooding back. Jared slumped back against his pillow. How was he going to face the future without them? He had to find a way though. The kids were going to need him strong.

Thoughts of the kids propelled him out of bed and into the bathroom.
Fifteen minutes later he walked through the front door of the house and headed for the kitchen. He could hear their chatter as he drew closer.

"I don’t want pancakes this morning, Auntie Kate. Just cereal," a childish voice announced.

"But all you ever eat is cereal, Bry. I made these pancakes special this morning. See, this one’s in the shape of a bear."

"Okay, I’ll have one." Bry spoke the words grudgingly, and Jared couldn’t keep from grinning. They’d obviously tasted their aunt’s pancakes a time or two before.

"Great!" He heard the clatter of plates but still didn’t approach the open doorway. "Listen, guys, I have something I need to talk to you about."

The chatter died down slightly, except for the baby babbling in the background.

"Remember how we talked a few months ago when I told you that something had happened to your Uncle Jared?"

"Yep, you said he died, like Mom and Dad." Jared recognized Bry’s voice again.

"That’s right. Someone called and told me that he had died but they made a mistake."

"You mean he’s not dead?" A softer voice asked. Amelia.

"No, he’s not. He came home last night and he’s fine."

"Can we see him?" excited voices asked.

"Sure you can," Jared said as he stepped into the kitchen. There were squeals and shouts as the kids abandoned their breakfast and threw themselves at him. At least the three older ones did. Dani was secure in her high chair and watched them all with wide eyes.

Jared squatted down so he was at eye level with them. A wave of grief caught him totally by surprise as he looked into a pair of green eyes so like Jen’s and saw the smile on Bry’s face, the twin of Steven’s.

"I’ve missed you guys!" Jared’s throat was tight with emotion as he pulled the three close for another hug. "How’re you doing, Amelia Bedelia?" Jared gave his oldest niece a kiss on the nose. "And Bryan, my man, you’ve grown!" He gave his nephew a high five before turning to the little pixie hovering at his elbow. "How’s my sweeter than chocolate Candy?"

"I’m fine, Unca Jared." Candy’s green eyes sparkled and her black curls danced. "Did ya bring us anything?"

"But of course! A special gift for each of you but first I need to say hi to Dani." Jared straightened and walked over to the high chair. He sat down on the chair next to it and smiled at his chubby little niece. She couldn’t be much more than a year.

"Hi, Dani-girl." He leaned forward to give her a kiss but Dani shrieked, big tears spilling from her green eyes. "Hey, I’m not going to hurt you."

"It’s okay." Kate came and lifted Dani from the high chair. "For the past couple of months she’s been a little reluctant to go to people she doesn’t know. She’ll get over it pretty quick. Just give her a little time."

Jared stared up at Kate and wondered how the kids had fared with her after having Jen for a mom. Kate always seemed so cool and reserved, not at all like her sister. Even her appearance was the exact opposite of Jen’s. Jen had been tall and all womanly curves while Kate was of average height and
on the thin side. Jen’s black hair had been a riot of curls that she’d passed on to her children. He’d never seen Kate’s hair down but nothing could hide the average brown color. Jen’s eyes had been a snapping green while Kate’s were a pale gray. He would never have mistaken them for sisters or rather, half-sisters, since they only shared a father.

Jared stood and shifted his gaze from
Kate to Dani. She watched him, her eyes sparkling like leaves wet with dew in the morning light. He smiled at her but she just pressed her head against Kate’s shoulder and regarded him thoughtfully. He couldn’t help feeling sad that she would never know her parents the way the other three had. Jen and Steve would just be people in photographs and videos. She’d have to learn about them through the memories of others.

"Okay you three, you’d better eat a bit more before the bus comes." Kate slipped Dani back into the high chair.

"Do we have to?" Bry groaned as he slid back into his chair. "I’m not really that hungry. Today is hot lunch day so I’ll eat then."

Kate stood silently behind an empty chair. It surprised Jared to see hurt sweep across her face. It vanished so quickly that he was sure that he had imagined it
, but he wasn’t imagining the way her hands tightly clenched the back of the chair.