Microsoft Word - MeantForEachOther.doc (5 page)

But that had been at the beginning of their relationship, back when they both made the same salary and still thought the most important thing was the love they shared.

Andrew would go to work at Fidelity Investments, managing portfolios, but rushed home after work so the two of them could be together.

When gentrification set in and rents began to climb, Andrew’s priorities shifted. He was still a wonderful man, loving, attentive, gentle. But some of the free-spirit that had initially attracted Jeremy had seeped from him. In the beginning of their relationship, Andrew’s idealism lifted Jeremy up, reminded him that good things do happen. He had forgotten that for the longest time.

With each promotion, Andrew became more and more corporate and the spirited DJ, the carefree lover, drifted further and further away. And the further Andrew slipped from him, the more Jeremy thought back on his youth; about Craig. Craig had been the one person who had remained consistent for him.

Jeremy pushed his thoughts from his head. He popped another fry into his mouth then headed into his building, walking up the three floors to their apartment. When he entered the living room, his breath caught and he dropped the fries. What was Andrew doing home so early? The initial rush of disappointment caused him to feel slightly guilty.

Andrew rushed to Jeremy’s side and bent over to pick up the fries he had dropped.

“You okay, baby?”

17

D.H. Starr

Meant For Each Other

Jeremy ignored his comment and took in the rest of the scene before him. Andrew was dressed in nice but casual clothing. The table was covered with a crisp white cloth topped with flowers and lit candles. Hope sparked in his chest, causing his heart-rate to speed and his skin to warm. Did he come home just to do something special for me? Just to surprise me? “My God. You’re home. What is all of this?” Jeremy waved his arm at the room in general.

Andrew was still scooping up the spilled fries. He glanced up at Jeremy, wrinkling his nose. “You love this creamy garlic sauce don’t you?” After picking up the last spilled fry and depositing the mess on the kitchen countertop, he returned to Jeremy, cupping his face in both hands. “I’ll kiss you even if you do have garlic breath.” He leaned in and brought his lips to Jeremy’s, gently brushing them against his mouth and flicking his tongue across the surface begging entrance.

Jeremy leaned into Andrew, accepting the comfort after reading about Seth’s story.

He opened to him, enjoying the familiar warmth of Andrew’s mouth. Andrew kissed him with an intensity Jeremy had not felt for quite some time. He allowed Andrew to take charge, pulling them closer together, letting out a short gasp when Andrew caught his bottom lip between his teeth and nibbled, laughing at his uncharacteristic playfulness.

After he had spent his walk home thinking about his problems with Andrew, finding him home was a welcome surprise. Maybe he does get it? The hope from a moment earlier flared and he tightened his grip around Andrew’s neck, kissing him back.

Winded and lips sore, they pulled apart. “What was that for?” Jeremy staggered back a couple of steps, grabbing hold of the countertop to balance himself.

Andrew grinned widely. “I have a surprise for us. Today I got promoted. You are looking at the man in charge of three of the firm’s largest clients and my salary was increased by fifteen percent. I’m well on my way to becoming a director of portfolio management.”

Jeremy froze. So this was the real reason for the romantic dinner. He should have known. Andrew had been working for years to get this promotion, putting in long hours and doing everything in his power to stay a step ahead of the other investment bankers in his firm. Yet, the tension between them was growing because of this very thing. Shit. Yet if he mentioned this, Andrew would be crushed. It was important to be the supportive partner, wasn’t it? “I—I’m so proud of you, although I’m not surprised.

You’re incredible at what you do.” He braced himself, expecting what was coming next, but hoping against it. More money meant Andrew was going to push moving once again.

Andrew was beaming. “I decided to cook for us. To celebrate.”

Some celebration. I’d rather eat the fries. Feeling powerless over Andrew’s ambition, Jeremy eyed the fries he had dropped on the floor and grabbed one, dragging it through the garlic sauce and popping it into his mouth.

18

D.H. Starr

Meant For Each Other

Andrew stared at him, shaking his head. “Let’s forget you spilled those on the floor and just ate one; I have no idea how you keep them from showing up anywhere on your perfect body.”

Jeremy shrugged and tried to place a demure and innocent an expression on his face. “I guess I’ve got good genes.”

Andrew crossed the kitchen in two steps. “I’ll tell you what’s getting into your jeans after dinner.” He leaned in and traced the tip of his tongue along the line of Jeremy’s neck, which normally made him go weak in the knees.

Jeremy tensed under Andrew’s touch. He was still waiting to see where all of this was going. “That’s not what I meant,” He murmured. He understood Andrew was playing on his words, and couldn’t remember the last time Andrew had taken the time to do something as spontaneous and romantic as cooking for him, flowers and candles and all. Still, now that he knew about the promotion, he couldn’t get past the fact that there was more to this candlelit dinner than simple romanticism. “Let me get out of your way so you can cook. I need to take a shower.”

Andrew stood in the middle of the kitchen, staring at Jeremy for a moment, his brow furrowed as if he were contemplating something, but then his face smoothed and he kissed Jeremy on the cheek. “Okay, dinner will be ready soon. I bought some cheese and crackers and we can crack open a bottle of red if you want.” He turned back to the pile of groceries on the counter and began his preparations.

Jeremy scooted out of the kitchen and into the bedroom to take off his clothes.

Under the cascade of hot water, he sighed contentedly at Andrew’s romantic mood.

Why do I seem to expect the worst from him lately? He’s excited and wants to share this with you. This doesn’t mean he’s going to push a move, or worse, bring up my job again. He finished his shower, got dressed, and joined Andrew in the kitchen. Andrew was busy frying up shrimp, a heavy smell of garlic in the air. Next to the fry pan was a pot with a thick creamy sauce simmering and pasta was boiling away. “Looks like you’re preparing a fancy dinner.”

Andrew turned and flashed his bright smile at Jeremy. “We have a lot to celebrate.”

He picked up the glass of wine he had poured for Jeremy and handed it to him. “Here’s to us and to great things in our future.”

Jeremy clinked his glass with Andrew’s, taking a sip as he appraised his boyfriend.

The man had a head of sandy blond, clean cut hair. He was bulky, but not in a body builder sort of way. Still, his large shoulders, bulging pecs, and thick arms always made him feel safe and protected whenever they wrapped around his own narrow frame.

Defined cords of lateral muscle tapered sharply into a trim waist, and sloped back out invitingly into his pants which revealed an ass with just the right amount of bubble.

Jeremy’s dark hair, amber eyes, flawless bronze skin, and narrow frame, thin and defined, was completely opposite from Andrew’s bulk. He brought the glass to his lips, taking a sip, and continued his inspection. Andrew’s hair was a bit tousled. Something jarred in Jeremy’s mind, a memory, and then it hit him. Andrew looked a lot like Craig.

19

D.H. Starr

Meant For Each Other

The shock of the realization hit him hard. It wasn’t like him to miss details like that, especially when they involved Craig. If Andrew had been just a little slimmer, a tad less beefy, he could easily be Craig’s older brother. The thought sent a shiver through him. I didn’t pick him because—

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, even though he didn’t allow himself to finish it, he knew it was true. He had chosen Andrew because something about him reminded him of Craig. Oddly, the realization did not cause him any guilt. Instead, it poked at a loss he had long since buried; one he didn’t want to face.

He wouldn’t allow himself to complete the thought. When dinner was ready and the two were seated with food on their plates and the flickering yellow orange glow of the candle light setting a romantic atmosphere, Andrew peered into Jeremy’s eyes. “I have another surprise for you.”

Jeremy couldn’t believe how the night was turning out. First he came home to Andrew, which usually never happened. Andrew had prepared a romantic dinner for the two of them. Now he was getting another surprise. “What is it?”

Andrew took a bite of pasta and shrimp. “I started searching for a new condo for us. I got a realtor and we can start viewing places until we find something we can buy.

We can finally own property in this city.”

Jeremy’s mouth dropped open. Damn. The hope Jeremy had been clinging to slipped away. He had been right all along. This evening wasn’t about celebrating a promotion. It was about changing their lives. How many times did they need to have this fight? “Andrew, I thought we agreed not to move anywhere for now. Shouldn’t we have discussed this before you made the decision to get us a realtor?”

“Aw c’mon, baby. I wanted to surprise you. With my new salary we can afford an awesome place right in the heart of midtown. I found a couple of places with an amazing view over Central Park. You love the park and…” Andrew tilted his head to the side, a sly smirk crossing his face, “we can even get that dog you’ve been pestering me about for years now.”

Jeremy had to admit the idea sounded appealing, especially living by Central Park.

The running paths and dog parks would be ideal since he loved nature and animals.

“All of this sounds amazing, but how am I supposed to contribute to this condo? You know I can barely afford the rent here and we have a pretty damn low rent.” Andrew knew how he felt about this issue. Why was he doing this?

Andrew put his utensils down and stared across the table at Jeremy. “How many times do I have to tell you not to worry about the money thing? Maybe you can’t afford it, but I can. We’ve been together for eight years. Do you think I consider my money just mine?”

Jeremy didn’t doubt Andrew’s sincerity, but the fact was, Andrew’s money was his own. “I know you don’t mind spending the money, but I do. I don’t want us to be on unequal footing. You’re already carrying the lion’s share of our financial commitments.”

20

D.H. Starr

Meant For Each Other

Andrew took Jeremy’s hand and let out a sigh. “Why does this have to be such a big deal? Can’t you let me spoil you and take care of you?”

Jeremy had picked this fight, drawing from a perpetual argument they had over the years. “What, now you want me to be a kept man? I suppose the next thing you’re going to ask me to do is quit my job.”

“You know I wouldn’t do that. I respect how much you love teaching, but now that you’ve brought it up, I don’t understand why you won’t consider moving to the public sector. Don’t they make something like three times the salary you make working in a private school?”

Jeremy exhaled. “I knew it. This is about you wanting me to change so I can contribute more money to our lives. I’ve explained why I don’t want to move to the public sector.” He ticked off the reasons on his fingers as he spoke. “The mandates restricting teacher flexibility and creativity, the lack of funding for the classroom, the overcrowding. I love my school, the students, and the families I’ve grown connected to over the years.”

Andrew conceded the point. “I get all that, but why won’t you consider going for a headmaster position and run your own private school? You could affect the lives of so many more students and families. You’d be able to foster a culture where all of the teachers can be as free to be creative as you’ve been.”

Jeremy had considered applying for headmaster positions a few years back, but as he got called on interviews and received a few offers, the reality of leaving the classroom hit him. He would miss the day-to-day practice of designing learning experiences for children and watching them grow and learn as a result of his teaching.

“I already explored that option and maybe I will again in the future, but for now, I’m happy where I am. I don’t see what the problem is remaining here in the East Village where we’ve been happy for the past eight years…unless you haven’t been happy.”

Andrew threw his hands up. “Jeremy. Why are you picking a fight with me over this? Of course I’ve been happy and still am happy. I love you. Let’s enjoy our dinner and forget I said anything about moving?”

Jeremy stared at his plate, guilt flooding through him.. “I’m sorry. You’re right. This should be an evening for us to celebrate.” He raised his eyes and gazed into loving eyes which only compounded his guilt. “I’ll tell you what. How about I agree to check some places out with you and see if something jumps out at us.”

Andrew’s eyes lit up. “Thank you. I appreciate you’re willing to be open minded.”

He returned to eating and Jeremy watched his lover enjoy his meal.

Andrew was a good man, he meant well, but he consistently disappointed Jeremy.

Their needs had changed ever since Andrew started making more money. But rather than working through the changes, growing together, it seemed as if they were growing apart. What made matters worse, was Andrew didn’t seem to recognize that encouraging Jeremy to leave his job was insulting. It cemented Jeremy’s suspicion that Andrew didn’t approve of the work he did. That he thought Jeremy could make more 21