The scent of lightning-struck evergreen burned Nick’s nose. “Well, for one thing, I keep meeting you in them. You’re different in them; all green, like you were a jade statue. You also had pine needles for hair and you weren’t this thin. But it was you. Your face, your hair, everything is the same.”
“It is night. You cannot see me properly.”
“I can see you fine.” She rested a hand on his chest—she couldn’t seem to stop touching him—and bumped his right hip with her left. “It sounds stupid, okay, I know that. I’ve never seen you in real life, and yet here you are, glowing green eyes, green scars, and you smell like a Christmas tree. Dream man come true.”
“Coincidence.” He gestured around them. “We are in a forest of conifers. I may resemble other men you have met in the past.”
Again with the noble act.
“I know about the great smells you guys all have, but I haven’t exactly run into that many green-eyed, green-scarred vampires.” She took a step back to check him out from head to toe. “Actually, so far, you’re it.”
He began to reach for her, and then turned it into a dismissive gesture. “Whatever your dreams have been, they do not make you responsible for me, Nicola.”
“Sometimes dreams are just reality turned inside out,” she murmured. “I know you can’t see me, but did you ever dream about a girl you’d never met? About five-seven, on the thin side, black leather jacket?”
“I do not dream.” His scent grew thick. “Go. Now.”
“You need to work on lying—you suck at it. And what would you do if I really did leave you here?” She watched him frown. “You don’t know anyone. You probably don’t even know where you are.”
“St. Valereye. A village east of Bordeaux.”
“Okay, so you know,” she conceded. “But how are you going to get anywhere? You’re blind, half-naked, and barefoot. You planning to Braille your way through the forest?”
He lifted his face toward the moon he couldn’t see. “The forest is my home.”
“What are you, Bambi?” She felt like breaking her promise not to hurt him. “There are no people around here for miles. No one to tap when you get thirsty. Your strength will run out before you get to the next working farm. I know drinking from animals doesn’t work.”
“You know too much,” he told her, his voice toneless. “I can take care of myself.”
“Yes, you’ve been doing a bang-up job of that so far from what I’ve seen.” So much for her dream man wanting her. This was beyond pathetic. “I might as well take you back and brick you in again; you’d live longer.”
“Nicola.” At last some anguish came through with the low, lyrical way that he said her name. “Don’t regret saving me.”
She didn’t. He was everything she wished she could be: brave, noble, honest. What would he think of her when he discovered what she did?
He never has to know
.
“I’m not abandoning you,” she said, wrapping her hand around his fist. Slowly he opened his fingers and entwined them with hers. She raised their hands until her wrist brushed his mouth. “Go on. Nobody’s coming to look for us; we’re okay here for a while. Take what you need.”
“I cannot. I
will
not.”
“You won’t kill me. I’m your only way out of here.” Although it bruised her heart, she made her voice stern. “You have to do it, Gabriel. I need you stronger. I can’t carry you, and I’m not dragging you. Take the blood.”
An Exclusive Excerpt from
Plague of Memory
by S.L. Viehl
Published by Roc Science Fiction/Fantasy, an imprint of NAL
After becoming caught up in a rebellion on a slaver ice world, Dr. Cherijo Torin has been rescued and reunited with her husband, daughter and friends on board the Jorenian star vessel The Sunlace. Cherijo has no memory of her life before the rebellion, however, and struggles to accept the strangers around her as family
.
Now as a deadly plague of insanity threatens the Hsktskt homeworld, Cherijo may be the reptilian slavers’ last hope of a cure. But first she must decide who she can trust: the old enemies who still have a blood-bounty on her head, or the lethal stranger who calls her his wife…
I knew that Reever would become impatient if he were waiting for me, so after Darea explained how transition used different dimensions to move the ship over great distances, I went to confront him. Neither he nor Marel were in our quarters when I arrived, which made my heart grow cold.
He has taken her from me
.
I hurried over to the console to make a computer inquiry as to their location, but before I could finish inputting the request, Reever entered and secured the door.
I saw no anger in his expression, but that meant nothing. Reever did not show his emotions on his face. He came toward me, but as I braced myself he walked past and went to the wall machine. “Marel is spending the night with Garphawayn and Squilyp.”
“There is no need.” Although I was relieved to know Darea would look after Marel while I was on Vtaga, I disliked having others care for my child when I could. “I will go and fetch her.”
“She is asleep by now. You were out all day. You must be tired.” He began using the machine to prepare a meal. “Would you prefer hot or cold tea?”
“I am not thirsty.” Why was he behaving like this? Why was he not shouting at me? Did the man truly have ice for blood? “I ate in the place where all the crew gather to share food and conversation.”
“It’s called the galley.” He reprogrammed his selections and filled a server with a murky-looking liquid. That was all he brought from the machine to the table where we ate our meals. “You should go to bed.”
“I am not interested in sleeping. Darea said she would care for Marel when we go to Vtaga.” I sat across from him. “Did you know there is a giant cat on this ship that walks on two legs and talks?”
“Alunthri.” He nodded but kept his head down, so I couldn’t see his expression.
“That beast scared the wits from me when I met it today. I thought I might jump through a wall panel. Reever, I know you are angry with me. I also think you will not beat me for what I have done. We should”—what was the way he always said it?—“discuss this.”
“You never liked talking to me,” he told the server in his hand, not me. “You always thought I said too much. We shared few interests. You often became bored or impatient with me.”
“I have never said or felt such things,” I was happy to tell him. Whatever that stupid female had felt, I could not call Reever tedious or dull. “You speak of my former self.”
“Yes. Your
former
self.” He lifted the server and drank from it. “However much I despise what you have done, Jarn, it gives me hope. Cherijo would have made the same choice to go to Vtaga.”
He said the last with such venom that I flinched. Not because he despised me, but… “Did you love her, or hate her?”
“I hated myself for not being the man she wanted. For not inspiring enough love in her.” Now he looked at me, and there was so much pain in his eyes that a sound escaped me. He ignored it. “She chose another man over me.”
“Another?” I felt alarmed.
“He is dead.”
Why had Cherijo not written about this? “You are not,” I pointed out. “She remained with you, did she not?”
“It doesn’t matter. Even dead, he always took first place in her heart.”
I would have to discover who this dead man was. “A woman would not love a memory more than a real man.”
“I thought what happened to you would at last give me some advantage.” He looked at the server as if he couldn’t quite recognize what it was. “You have no memories of him, only me. I took the first place in your heart… or perhaps I have not.” He rested his forehead against his fist. “I did not want you to know of him, so I erased everything she wrote about him in her journal files.”
That explained the periodic gaps in the data. I couldn’t understand why he would do such a thing, but I saw no shame in it. Indeed, I thought his endless obsession with my former self unhealthy. Such fixations had nearly driven Teulon insane, although it had been more understandable in his case. He had lost his bondmate and every member of his HouseClan except his young son.
Discovering Xan had survived the Jado Massacre had given Teulon hope and renewed interest in life. Could not Marel do the same for Reever?
“I am not interested in the dead,” I said. “We are together, and even when we do not agree, we suit each other.” I glanced at the bed chamber. “If last night did not convince you of this, remember that we also share a daughter. She needs both of us. Can that not be enough for you?”
“For me?” His head came up. “You don’t care that I destroyed some of your past?”
It is not my past
. I shook my head. “I might erase the rest of it myself; it would save me much confusion.”
He seemed shocked by my words. “You should know how you came to be.”
“I know I was made from a man and grown inside a machine instead of a woman’s belly. I cannot get sick and I may never die. If there are more unnatural things involved, please, do not tell me of them.” He did not respond. “You understand the Hsktskt better than I, husband. I will need your wisdom when we reach Vtaga. And I… care for you. Do not let this become another wall between us.”
He was silent for a long time. “If I agree, you must also make a concession.”
“Anything.”
“When we are among the Hsktskt, you must listen to me and do as I say.” Before I could speak, he put his hand over mine. “I know this species intimately. I served as a member of the Faction for years. Your death on Akkabarr may have lifted the blood bounty, but there are other dangers. You cannot recognize them, but I will.”
I hardly heard the last of what he said, so busy was I trying to absorb the fact that Reever had once belonged to the Hsktskt. Cherijo had said much about him in her journals, but never this. That he had once been a slaver changed everything. “Perhaps it will be better if I summon Teulon.”
“No.” His hand tightened. “I did not join them. I made a pretense of it. I never enslaved anyone.” When I jerked at his hold, his mouth became a thin line. “You will listen to me this time.”
I felt a curious paralysis move up my arm. Before I could react, some unseen force rendered my body immobile. I tried to cry out, but something besides myself filled my mind.
I can do more than read your thoughts, Jarn
, Reever’s voice said inside my head.
I can use your mind to control your body
.
My heartbeat raced as I tried to escape the invisible force he used to hold me in place. At the same time, I felt Reever’s own cool, focused thoughts enclose me as he somehow slowed my pulse and relaxed my knotted muscles.
I had never felt such an invasion, not even when we had coupled. I should have been terrified, or outraged, but his thoughts held me as gently as his arms.
How can you do this
?
I don’t know. I have never been capable of such a link with anyone else but you
. Reever spoke as if my thoughts were my voice.
It is the bond we have shared since the moment we first saw each other. Kiss me
.
The paralysis lifted, and I shifted forward, leaning across the table to press my mouth against his.
He took his time enjoying the kiss before immobilizing me again.
I can make you say or do anything I wish
.
My lips tingled.
Why have you never done this to me before now
?
It is wrong to control another person
. His fingers threaded through my hair.
I’m only demonstrating what I can do. I will not lose you again. It nearly drove me mad when they took you from me the last time
.
The mild affection I felt for Reever tightened inside me. I had respected him before this, but now I understood many things about his relationship with my former self that had not made sense.
You might have said something about this when we made our agreement. You hide too much from me. How can I trust someone as dangerous as you are
?
“Not dangerous.” He sat back. “Devoted.”
The paralysis vanished, as did his presence in my mind. I lifted my hand to touch my mouth, and then looked down at myself. “This is why she worried about giving herself to you. Because you could do this thing to her. Because you
did
it to her without her say. She knew.”
He nodded. He did not seem ashamed of it.
“Do you understand
nothing
about women?” I demanded. When he didn’t answer, I got to my feet. Perhaps I had been made from a man, but I felt wholly female now. “You wish me to give you my trust, and then you do things like this as if you would destroy it. You wish me to desire you, and then show me that you do not even need my cooperation to have me whenever you wish.”
“I demonstrated the power of our link so that you would know that I love you,” he countered. “If I did not, I would use it to take what I want.”
“What is it that you want from me?” I shouted.
Reever did not move. “You. All of you, mind, body, and soul. You are all I have ever wanted.”