Moore to Lose (30 page)

“Do you believe me?” He needed her to believe him. He needed her to know he would never, ever have betrayed her. He was nineteen and trying so hard to be a man, to protect her, help her deal with her attack, heal her by giving his love. And he just needed her to believe him. Twenty-four years later and he needed her to believe him.

“Yes,” her voice was soft, just slightly more than a whisper and he knew how overcome with emotion she was, “I do.”

He sighed. And the nine-thousand pound elephant sitting on his chest got up and sauntered across his office. Tail swishing. He took a deep breath. She finally knew. He would’ve never betrayed her. Ever.

“Schooner, how do I begin to apologize for being an immature sixteen year old, for not trusting you, for believing what she said. I am so, so sorry I hurt you.” There it was again. That empathy. Her concern over hurting him. It was just so foreign. Someone worried about him. Worried that he was hurt. It felt odd because he wasn’t used to it and it took a moment to actually recognize it.

He wanted to soothe her. Take care of her. Soothe her heart. “Shhh, don’t, Baby Girl,” it was past his lips before he could think about it or catch it. Calling her Baby Girl just seemed so natural. No matter what happened after this phone call, she always was and always would be his Baby Girl. He’d carry that forever in his shattered heart. “You were a victim in this, too. What she did was malicious with the intent to hurt you and to put an end to us. And my whole freaking life has been based on a lie.”

At that moment, he wanted to rip CJ’s Barbie head off its Barbie body. Mia had clearly picked up on the nuance of his statement and her sobs were just painful to hear. That was the last piece of information he ever wanted her to learn. Letting her know that he had married CJ MacAllister was something he never thought he’d be sharing with Mia Silver.

This all still hurt so much — twenty-four years later and it still was clearly an open wound for both of them. The hurt had gone so deep that although the surface seemed to have healed, it was merely a protective mask over a wound that never seemed to fully mend. And the things that made the wound open over the years, it was hard to say what a trigger might be. Sometimes it was a full moon, or a date on a calendar, a song on the radio, or a national disaster. Sometimes it was a new member at the gym who had just relocated from the east coast or a curly haired girl with an attitude.

“Schooner, my assistant just came in and I’ve got to prep for a two o’clock meeting.”

He wasn’t ready to let her go yet. How could he let this end? Be bereft of her again. He just wanted to hold on and not let go. “What time are you up until at night?” He needed more.

“I’m kind of a night owl, usually between midnight and one.”

Please don’t let this be the end, Baby Girl. “Mia, are you going to answer the phone when you see my number come up?”

“Yeah.”

“Say it, Mia.” He needed to hear her commit. He could not handle her disappearing again.

“I will answer your calls, Schooner.”

He let out his breath, nodding his head. “You promise?”

“Yes, I promise.” He could hear the smile in her voice and involuntarily it brought a smile to his face. The first smile since the conversation began.

“Ok, I will call you later.” He was already missing her. Ending this phone call was hell.

“Ok.”

“Mia,” he needed her to know, “it’s really good hearing your voice.”

And where he expected to hear the smile in her voice, he heard a sob escape and it felt like a punch in the chest. “It’s really good to hear your voice too, Schooner.”

“I’ll talk to you later, Baby Girl.” Just saying those two words was every wish he had ever made come true. They just flowed out from him so naturally because she was his Baby Girl.

Overwhelmed, he sat back in his chair. Today’s events were extreme. He had just talked to Mia. Mia. His Mia. His Baby Girl. His love. He had just talked to Mia. A dream whose reality had been abandoned long ago so that he could save his sanity. Just processing that phone call was going to take some time. Talk about bombshells. And the bombshells had just begun to drop.

He picked up his phone and dialed Aaron Bender. “Hi, Leslie. It’s Schooner Moore. Is Aaron available?”

A moment later his attorney was on the line, “I’m always available for you. What’s going on?”

“I’m about to go home and end my marriage. I’m moving out today. I need a separation agreement immediately and I need you to start working on the divorce. I want to serve her so fast that her head spins off of her body.” It would be a tournament serve. It would be the championship ace his tennis racquet never had the opportunity to hit after she set into motion events that robbed him of all the things he loved most in life. And now this would be the ace she never saw coming. Game. Set. Match.

Yoli rapped lightly on Schooner’s closed office door while entering simultaneously, “You ok?” Her concern evident for her dear friend.

“I don’t know.” Schooner shook his head. Sitting at his desk, long legs stretched out in front of him crossed at the ankles.

“Did you talk to her?”

He nodded. A half-smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah. We talked.” And he just nodded his head, lost in thought.

Yoli was getting annoyed. She wanted to drag it out of him, but she knew him well enough. Give him a moment. Let him work through processing it and it will eventually come flowing out.

And just like that, he began. “So, poor Mia spent twenty-four years thinking I’d betrayed her,” he shook his head, Yoli could almost feel the thoughts ricocheting around his brain as he tried to streamline and make sense of everything. “Did I tell you what happened to Mia?” Yoli shook her head no and he continued. “Mia and I had always talked about me being her first and then we broke up because I was stupid and too immature to even know how to communicate properly.” He shook his head, clearly disgusted with a memory of himself.

“So, you weren’t her first?”

A pained look shot across Schooner’s face and Yoli assumed Mia had found another boyfriend.

“No. I wasn’t. Mia’s first and second were two animals who took turns beating the crap out of her and raping her.”

Yoli literally gasped out loud, “Oh my God. That is horrible.”

“It was. It was really horrible. But I thought if I loved her enough and protected her that I could help her heal,” he looked Yoli in the eye, “and I think I did.” Schooner paused again and took a deep breath.

Yoli watched the pain etched between his eyes. What the hell was going on, she wondered.

“There were only a few of us that knew what happened. Kind of the inner circle. Me, a couple of very close friends, her roommate — who essentially moved out of her own room so that I could move in and stay with Mia. Obviously, Mia didn’t want anyone to know. And I’m sure you can imagine the one person above all else she didn’t want knowing this.” He paused, looking Yoli in the eye, “She did not want CJ to have this information.”

“Oh no.” Yoli and Schooner locked eyes. She tried to read what was going on in his, but all she could detect was static, as if his mind were a radio caught between stations.

“So, when I asked her today, “Why did you leave me,” his voice cracked, “She replied, ‘You told her what happened to me.’“

Yoli’s eyes narrowed and she leaned forward, “You didn’t tell her, did you?” Yoli ached for this woman she didn’t even know.

“No!” Schooner erupted. “I never would have betrayed her. I loved her. All I wanted to do was protect her and I failed, Yoli.”

“Stop that right there. Do not take that on.” Yoli could get tough with this man who intimidated many. Schooner squinted at her, but quieted. She could tell he was seething. She let a moment pass before, “What did CJ say to her?”

“I don’t know the specifics and she was way too upset to go into it. I just wanted her to know that I didn’t betray her. I never would’ve betrayed her.” Elbows bent on his desk, he put his head in his hands.

“Do you think she believed you?” Yoli’s heart was breaking for him. The woman he loved believing he had betrayed her and finding out his wife was behind the betrayal. He didn’t deserve this. He may not have always made the best decisions (marrying CJ being at the top of that list), but Schooner Moore was a good man. A very good man.

“Yeah, I think she did. I think she really did. She saw how shocked and upset I was and when she realized I never knew why she had left and hadn’t been complicit, she literally went to pieces. Yoli, she shattered,” he had to stop to gain his composure and Yoli could feel her own eyes wet with the tears she was trying to hold back as her heart ached for him. Finally, “She was devastated that she hurt me. That I was innocent and she hurt me.” It was finally too much and he turned his face away.

“What are you going to do, Schooner?” Yoli needed to ground him with action because he was too raw.

“I’m going to confront CJ. She’s going to lie. And I’m going to move out. I’ve already talked to Aaron Bender.” He nodded his head with resolve.

“Wow, you didn’t waste any time,” she observed.

“I wasted twenty-four fucking years.” Schooner was starting to blow. And then, “I’m sorry, why am I yelling at you?” The question was rhetorical.

Yoli held up a hand, “I’d rather you yell now, get it out, work through it, so that you are totally together when you confront her.”

Schooner nodded, “You’re right. You are such a good friend to me.” Yoli could see the love in his eyes and her heart melted, but there was no way to alleviate his pain except to be there for him, help talk him through the bombardment of emotions.

“This may not be the time, but can she do anything to us here?”

Schooner smiled for the first time and shook his head no. “Not unless you vote against me. You’ve got 20%. The most she can ever get, and she won’t, would be 40%, so we’re good.”

Yoli closed her eyes, relieved. Clearly, nothing could be put past CJ. Yoli always suspected she was a dirty fighter, but now with Mia’s revelation, they knew CJ would do whatever she had to do to win. Including destroy lives.

“So, how did you leave it with Mia?”

“I told her I’d call her tonight.” There was something in his eyes that she’d never seen before.

“And she’s ok with that?”

“She didn’t tell me not to.” And there it was, that gorgeous All-American Boy smile.

He’s going to go after her, Yoli thought. “Be careful, Schooner.”

“Don’t worry, Yol. Mia’s not like that.”

“You’re really vulnerable, Schooner. Neither of you is the same person that you were twenty something years ago.” She felt very protective of this man who had taken such good care of her and always treated her with respect and deference. What he was about to go through with CJ was going to be explosive and she could tell in her gut that he was going to rapidly and relentlessly pursue Mia to put the pieces of his life back together the way he had once dreamed they would fit. Yoli feared that the reality would not be as pretty as his dreams.

“See, that is where you are wrong, Yoli. We may have just lived through a lifetime of experiences that were different and not shared, but we are the same people. It’s my Mia. That’s my Baby Girl.”

Yoli sat there shocked, his ‘Baby Girl’? WTF? This man who was so cool with women, detached, aloof, always staying one step removed, making him even more fascinating to them. He was the ultimate challenge to the women of Orange and Los Angeles Counties, an elusive prize. And that is what he stayed, elusive and untouchable, and they wanted him even more. And now he was talking about his ‘Baby Girl’?

He went on, “And I will move heaven and Earth to make sure that we finally have the chance that we were robbed of.” He started to shut down his laptop and grabbed for his Floto Parma messenger bag. “I know what I heard today. We both went to hell and we each thought the other one didn’t go there — and that made it even worse — and today we learned that we both went to hell — separately and alone. And now, I am going to fix this. I am going to make this right. We are going to have our happiness. I am putting this back on track — the way it was supposed to be.”

Yoli sat there wide eyed and stunned, yet she had no doubt that he would do exactly what he was saying he would do. Schooner Moore was single-minded in his pursuits and in twenty years, she had never seen him fail.

He was packed up and ready to head home for the final showdown with CJ. “Do you have a Kevlar vest?” Yoli was only half kidding.

“No shit. This is not going to be pleasant.”

“Good luck.” She was more than a little scared for him.

“My luck changed today, Yol. Mia Silver is back in my life. I never thought I’d have the opportunity to say those words again,” he acknowledged with a sad smile. “The hell of not knowing is over. I now know why she left me. And now — Karma. Today the universe finally rights itself. Karma is truly going to be a bitch.”

Driving through Newport Beach toward their house on Linda Isle, Schooner almost felt a sense of relief that this would no longer be his home. He didn’t know where his home would be or where he was going, but just knowing what he was about to do gave him a feeling of renewal.

“You told her what happened to me.” That knocked him for a loop. Whatever was said to Mia must’ve been pretty on target and devastating for her to believe CJ and not to have just told her to go fuck herself. For Mia to doubt what they had, what they shared and his love for her, CJ must’ve been very convincing. He wondered if she’d somehow caught wind of enough to be able to spin a tale close enough to reality. Maybe someday Mia would tell him, because he knew CJ sure as hell wasn’t going to be spewing any truths today.

As he pulled into the driveway of his modern white and glass home it struck him that this was the last time he’d be driving up as a resident. He wasn’t sad about leaving it — it was just he and CJ living there now. No more nights of helping Holly with her homework or playing video games with Zac. He’d need to make arrangements to have his boat moved so that he could have access to it.