My Heart Can't Tell You No (2 page)

March 1959

Joey McNier was a boy again as he entered the old Baker house. He followed his four playmates who, consisted of the three Baker brothers (eleven-year-old Jackie, ten-year-old Johnny, and seven-year-old Tommy) and the boy from the orphanage down the road, seven-year-old Bobby Green. The aroma of Sarah Baker’s spaghetti sauce filled his nostrils as he stopped in the kitchen long enough to smile at his best friends’ mother. The others piled into the living room to see the Baker boys’ new puppy.

“Hello, Joey. You hungry?” Mrs. Baker held one hand affectionately on her protruding abdomen.

“Sketties?” he asked hopefully.

“Sketties,” she answered with a smile as she went back to stirring the sauce.

“Sure.”

“Maybe you better go call your dad and tell him you’re eating here.”

“Ah, Mom, he won’t care,” Joey replied, using the affectionate title he and Bobby Green used because neither had a mother of their own.

“Probably not, but I think it would be nice to let him know anyway, don’t you?”

“I guess.” He started for the telephone.

“Better tell Bobby to call the orphanage and let them know he’ll be eating here too,” she called after him.

After convincing his father he would not eat the Bakers out of house and home, Joey returned to the kitchen to find Sarah leaning against the sink, her face slightly pale with anxiety.

“What’s the matter, Mom?” he asked quietly as he walked up to her.

“Nothing, Joey, I’ll be all right. Maybe you better go get Jack. Tell him my water broke and I’m ready to go.”

“Go where?” he asked, fright filling his eyes as he noticed the wet floor at her feet. “Jackie—something’s wrong with Mom!”

The oldest of the Baker boys was in the kitchen in an instant, eyeing his mother carefully as the others soon followed.

“She said her water broke. What’s wrong with her?!” Joey asked in a rush.

“Johnny, go get Dad. Tell him the baby’s coming,” Jackie ordered with the authority of the eldest child.

“What about the sketties?” Tommy asked with wide eyes as he ran to the stove, dragging a chair behind him, then climbed up and looked down into the pot of sauce. “If you’re going to the hospital now—who’s gonna give us our sketties?!”

“Tommy! Get down before you burn yourself!” Sarah Baker ordered her youngest son as sternly as she could manage.

“But—we’ll starve!” Tommy insisted.

“Jonas, get your brother down.” Sarah told Jackie, calling him by his Christian name.

“Get down, fickled. We ain’t gonna starve.” Jackie yanked Tommy to the floor, then lifted the chair next to his mother. “Do you want to sit down?”

“No, just go help Johnny find your father.”

“I’m here,” Jack Baker said in his low voice as he took a step into the kitchen. He grabbed a towel to wipe the black grease from his hands, obviously having been working on the engine of a car. “John said you’re ready to go.”

“I think so.”

“Then let’s get a move on. You’re early. The sooner we get to the hospital the better.” He moved to her side and helped her across the kitchen. “Are they coming along or is someone coming out to be with them?”

“I called Lew earlier today. I had a feeling this might happen. He said he’d be home all day. Jackie, call Uncle Lew and ask him to come out right away. Meanwhile keep the boys in the living room with the TV. I don’t want them around the stove. Uncle Lew will feed you when he gets here.”

“Okay,” Jackie called after his parents.

“Tommy, you be good! Johnny, help Jackie with the boys,” Sarah Baker called back to her sons as they came to the door and watched her leave.

“And I don’t want no more brothers! I have too many already! Bring me home a sister!” Tommy called, making his two older brothers look at him a moment, then push him toward the living room.

“Go sit down ya jerk!” Jackie said as he started for the telephone.

“But I’m hungry,” Tommy protested.

June 1984

“Mom?” Joe spoke gently. “Mom?”

Sarah’s eyes fluttered a moment before opening and slowly turning to look at him. Recognition took a moment before a smile touched her eyes and lips.

“Joey. You’re back.”

“Yeah. I’m back,” he sighed, relieved at the sight of the part of her that outshone all the rest, the part of her that would never change or grow old, all the warmth, understanding and graciousness she possessed. “I see your legendary spaghetti still attracts little orphan boys.”

“You mean Jackie and Robby?” she chuckled as she retrieved her hand from his and cradled it in her other hand. She slowly straightened her fingers, revealing the painful arthritis that was invading her bones. “My spaghetti and just about anything else I cook.”

“Then things haven’t changed much in the past twenty-five or thirty years.”

“Sit down, Joey.”

“I can’t stay long. I have a truck to unload down home. I’m moving back into Pop’s place.”

“I didn’t know your cousin and his wife moved out.”

“Last week. The last time the creek got high she gave the order that she wanted out of there.”

“We’d have to build an ark if the creek got this high,” Sarah remarked with a glint of humor.

“She wasn’t raised around here though. I imagine the idea of being stranded at home for a week or two during high water really got to her.”

“It’s been over three years since we had a flood,” she reminded him, then changed the subject. “Have you seen the boys yet? Tom and John?”

“No. Are they home?”

“John’s probably down at his house. I wouldn’t doubt Tom’s down there with him. If you stop in and ask, they’d probably help move your things back.”

“Maybe I’ll do that.” He got to his feet. “Will you be all right?”

“Maddie and her boys are here, and Jack’s downstairs. He’ll be up soon.”

“Well, then I’ll go. I have a lot to get done.” He looked down at the familiar face that was the closet thing to a mother he could remember. “It’s good to see you again, Mom. I should have never left.”

“Maybe—maybe not. You’re here now. That’s what matters, isn’t it? Just stop trying to be a stranger. You should know by now it won’t work. You’ll always be called back.”

“I know,” he said gently as he kissed her cheek then stood to leave.

When Joe returned to the kitchen he found Maddie clothed in a pair of cut-off jeans and a T-shirt. Her thick black hair was brushed to a fullness as it flowed over her shoulders to her breasts. Surprise filled her eyes as he grabbed her arm and moved out the door.

“What are you doing? Let me go!” She growled as she tore away from him.

“What’s the matter with her?”

“What are you talking about?” She took a step back from him. “You mean Mom? Besides having arthritis throughout most of her body, taking two shots of insulin a day, having congestive heart failure, and going through double bypass two years ago with a heart disease that continues to eat away at her—
nothing
! Today she seems to be having a relatively good day. She only reached for her nitro twice that I’ve seen!”

“Why didn’t you let me know?” he asked in very slow, tense words.

“Why didn’t I let you know?!” she asked with a false laugh. “Who are you that I should let you know anything?”

“You should know who I am by now, little girl. Or do you need me to remind you
again
?”

“Yeah. I know who you are,” she said dryly. “And I know your connections with my family. As for my brothers and parents—go ask
them
why
they
didn’t fill you in on the condition of
my
mother’s health.”

“Did you tell the others not to let me know? Did you sit there thinking of how this shock was going to hit me?” He knew exactly what he was doing as he watched the fury fill her eyes, stopping only when he saw the build-up of tears.

“No. I didn’t sit there pondering on
how
this
was
going
to
affect
you
! For all I knew she was dying on the operating table. I sat there wishing, hoping—praying—that by some miracle, you’d show up—just once—when you were needed. And God knows we all needed some extra strength those days she was in Intensive Care. So, if you still think it’s a big mystery as to why we didn’t let you know—go talk to your wife. Maybe she’ll give you the message she evidently
forgot
to give you two years ago when John called her parents’ house!”

Joe watched her turn and head back into the house, feeling a disgust for his ex-wife for not giving him such an urgent message and an anger with himself for not checking to see how things were. He knew, as he witnessed all the anger Maddie held toward him, he had a long, rutted path to travel to get where he needed to be. One of the deepest ditches was to gain her trust and forgiveness. But he also had to gain the ability to forgive her as well. He sighed as he turned and walked down the long driveway toward John’s house. Nothing seemed much different actually. He had known Maddie for twenty-five years. She had gotten under his skin the first day he saw her and had somehow managed to stay there ever since.