Only Through Love: A Cane River Romance Novella (6 page)

             “We
sure are. You should come.” Charlie felt herself relax a little at the idea of
other guests. It wouldn’t be so obviously a cooking lesson, but more of a dinner
party, and maybe it was easier for Ruby to entertain if she had a young person
to do the work.

            “What
should we bring?” Gideon asked, dark eyes fixed on his wife. There was a tenderness
in his features, the way a person far from home recognizes a familiar accent.  

             “Maybe
dessert? Or a garden salad?” Ruby suggested. “But if everybody starts bringing
food, we’ll have leftovers for days. How about y’all just come and enjoy the
food?”

            “If
you insist.” Henry came over and bent down next to the old armchair. Pulling
back the blanket, she smiled at Aurora. “Lucky duck, getting to hold the baby,”
she whispered.

            “I
know. I have the best job in the world,” she whispered back. “Would you like to
hold her?” Without waiting for an answer she got up from the chair, moving to
place Aurora in Henry’s arms.       

             “Oh,
we should invite Father Tom.” Ruby turned to Gideon. “And Austin. I bet he
doesn’t get a hot meal very often.”

            Charlie
froze, her arms outstretched, Aurora’s tiny body halfway to Henry’s hands. Her
argument with Austin had been running through her mind since she returned to
the bookstore. The more she thought on it, the more she was afraid she’d misunderstood
him. Misunderstood and then accused him of being arrogant, entitled and not
caring if he did his job. Shame flashed through her. There was no way she could
sit through a dinner with him but Ruby was already counting on her to help
cook. For the hundredth time that day, Charlie felt the frustration of being
trapped between a rock and a hard place. Or a bowl of ramen noodles and a guy
she really didn’t want to see.

            Henry
looked into her eyes, and there was the smallest fraction of time where Charlie
felt as if Henry could read her thoughts. But that was impossible. Charlie
stepped forward and deposited little Aurora in Henry’s arms. “That’s a great
idea,” she said.

            “I
can call Tom and Austin,” Gideon offered.

            “Or
we could have them over this weekend,” Henry said. She brushed Aurora’s cheek.
“We don’t want to overwhelm Ruby and Charlie. That’s a lot of cooking.”

            “Oh,
it’s no problem at all,” Ruby said. “Well, I might have to cook up another side
dish or two, but we’ve got plenty, honest.”

            “I’m
sure you do.” Henry turned and flashed a brilliant smile. For a moment, Charlie
could see Henry’s aunt, the famous film actress. It was hard to keep a thought
when Henry smiled like that.

            “Austin
can eat his own weight in catfish, if I remember from our last trip.” Gideon
was leaning over Henry’s shoulder, eyes fixed on the baby. “How about we just
invite everyone over after church for a low country boil? It’s been a while
since y’all have been out to our place.”

            Ruby
shrugged, her lips turning up. “Can’t argue with that plan, either. I love
coming out to Lac Terre Noire. So peaceful.”

            Charlie
let out a breath. “I’d better get back. Don’t steal the baby. Alice wouldn’t be
afraid to chase you down the river walk.”    

            “Not
sure who she’s talkin’ to but I don’t think it’s me,” Ruby said and winked at
Henry.

            “No
stealing, I promise,” Henry said and her cheeks were pink.

            Gideon
let out a soft laugh and stepped to the side. “My turn. It’s bad manners to hog
the baby.”

            “I’ll
walk over as soon as I’m done here, Ruby.” Charlie took one more look at Gideon
and Henry, her heart aching at the love in his eyes and the way she leaned into
his side. It was the kind of love she’d wanted, the kind she’d thought she had.

            On
her way back to the desk, she passed Alice heading toward the door, coffee mug
in hand. “Good luck getting her back now,” Charlie said.

            “Hey,
if they thought I was hard on Paul when we first met, they should see what
happens when you run away with my baby. They’ll never know what hit ’em.” Alice
gave her best tough guy expression as she headed for Gideon, which was actually
a little bit scary. Even though Alice wouldn’t hurt a fly, Charlie knew how
stubborn she could be. Add in some maternal hormones and they would all be
sorry.

            Charlie
settled back in the desk chair and ran her hand over Van Winkle’s sleeping
side. God bless Ruby and her inability to see a good Creole girl eat some junk
food. Alice had said holding Aurora and watching the rain would solve her
problems, and in a way, it had. She closed her eyes for a moment. The idea of a
hot, home-cooked meal wasn’t attractive just because she was sick of cheap,
packaged food. She missed her parents, missed sitting at a table and talking to
other people about her day. If she still had any online friends, maybe it
wouldn’t hurt so much to go back to that dark little apartment. Climbing four
flights of stairs, walking down the long concrete hallway and entering the
cramped corner unit filled her with dread.  It wasn’t that she was so spoiled
and had always lived in beautiful homes. It was just so depressing to be alone.
Alone and unmoored.

            She
opened her eyes and doodled on the notepad at the desk. Investing ten years of
her life in one area seemed like a good idea at the time. She never imagined
that she’d have to leave it all behind. There wasn’t any reason to work on her
programming or her illustrations now. She hadn’t even unpacked her art
supplies. Charlie blinked down at the sketch she’d made. Without thinking,
she’d outlined one of her favorite creations. The young man peered out from
under a hood, his cheek bones like knife edges, eyes slanted and heavy lidded,
brows arched impossibly high. His limbs were lithe and long, the bow in his
hand a clue to his status as an archer. He was powerful and confident.

            She
frowned at the paper and moved to scratch out the figure but paused, her pen
hovering over the lines of the familiar face. Slowly, she enlarged his top lip,
making it lush and full. A few pen strokes and his figure changed imperceptibly,
giving the impression of someone softer and more feminine. Charlie rounded the
cheeks, darkened the lashes, and added a miniature knot-work necklace that
rested against the hollows of the neck.

            Squinting
at the drawing, Charlie knew it wasn’t quite right. It was too feminine to be
considered a male character now, but still it wasn’t enough. She quickly added
two small, rounded lines on the chest. Now there was no doubt. Her archer, the
character she had programmed an entire game around, was now a girl.

            She
set the little sketch against the desk and felt the ghost of a smile cross her
lips. She’d spent years creating characters while keeping in mind what would be
most marketable and popular. And nobody wanted to play the girl. Maybe as a
side character or an alternate, but an entire game wrapped around a female? Not
likely, unless it was some over-sexualized bikini maiden that was used and
abused by all the other characters.

            Charlie
touched the sketch with a forefinger. “I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough for
you,” she said. Of all the people she’d hurt, all the people she’d
disappointed, this character was right up there on the list. It was straight
from her heart, part of her, yet she’d been too afraid to show her to the world
the way she was meant to be.

            She
wouldn’t get another chance at creating her game. That opportunity was gone as
surely as her college account. But looking at the drawing, Charlie knew she’d
finally made right something that had been wrong for a very long time.

It is life near the bone where it
is sweetest. ― Thoreau

            “Are
you sure I’m invited?” Austin turned and gave Bix another searching glance.

            “Of
course. Why wouldn’t you be?” He set his old straw hat on his head, the jaunty
angle giving him a playful air. “Come on. Forget about that game you play for a
night. It’s nothin’ compared to real life. Ruby said she and Charlie are
cookin’ blackened catfish for the crew and I don’t wanna be late. Gideon’s so
big he must spend his whole salary just keepin’ himself fed.” Tugging the door
closed behind them, Bix inserted the key and turned it. The slight breeze from
the river made the afternoon heat more bearable.  “The more the merrier, I
say.”

            Austin
said nothing. He didn’t know how to explain that he’d gone through the front of
the store for a specific reason. The apartment above By the Book had its own
entrance around the back and there was no reason for him to wander through the
foyer of the antique bookstore― unless he had an apology to make to one
young, dark-haired employee. Maybe he’d get a chance at dinner. He was
inserting himself into a happy meal between friends just for the chance. The
look in her eyes had haunted him all afternoon.

            “Too
bad Alice and Paul couldn’t come. He’s sure busy gettin’ the new headquarters
straightened out. Of course, he’s right to move his company to Natchitoches so
they can all be together,” Bix said. Austin reached out and lifted a tree
branch right before the elderly man walked into it.  “Back in the day, a lot of
men had to work away from their families. But if he runs the place, he should
be able to make his own rules and livin’ in this little town can be one of
‘em.”           

            “You
know, when they first met and I saw Alice fallin’ in love with him, I worried
about her, thought she might be getting her heart broken.” Austin steered him
between a parking meter and flag pole. “But love makes a way. Love always makes
a way.”

            Austin
felt his heart sink. Love also made people take chances, break rules, and
betray their families. Love wasn’t always the greatest motivator that brought
about miracles. Sometimes it ruined lives. He’d been in love before and the
memory had stayed with him, fading only a little. The sheer power of the
emotion gave him chills to think on it now. Megan wrapped him around her
finger, asking things from him that no one should have asked. And he gave them
freely because it was she who was the one asking. For love, he’d given his
integrity and honor away as easily as a stick of gum. 

            “Glad
the heat is fadin’ away. Makes a walk along the river a lot more pleasant. When
I had the Caddy, I liked to drive out to Lac Terre Noire. It’s real fine
country out there,” Bix was saying. “You could fit a lot of bodies into that
old Caddy. Funny, those last few years everybody preferred driving in their own
vehicles. Guess they all liked them foreign models. Never could understand it.”

            Austin
could guess why nobody wanted to get into the Cadillac of Doom, as Tom had
taken to calling it. He’d told Austin that the last time he’d ridden with Bix,
he’d wanted to kiss the ground in relief when he reached his destination
safely. The people of Natchitoches had learned to get off the road, and
sometimes the sidewalk, when they saw Bix driving toward them.

            “I’m
sure glad you decided to come settle here. Tom sure talks about you a lot. He
and Gideon are so proud.” Austin gently tugged Bix’s elbow until he was around
a No Parking sign. “Maybe you’re thinkin’ to move on after you make your mark
here but you could always find a nice girl and stay.”

           
Nice
girl.
Austin said nothing. They always seem nice in the beginning and it
was only after a few months that you find out they’re not all sweetness and
light. Sometimes they were shadows and bitter accusations and jealousy. By that
time his heart was lost and he did whatever it took to keep her. And in the
end, that wasn’t enough.

            “Like
our Charlie. You two have a lot in common. You should make an effort to get to
know her,” Bix said.

            “Car,”
Austin warned him and they stopped at the curb to let a silver minivan pass
through the intersection.

            “You
remind me a lot of her, ya know. You probably have a lot in common. She loves
that game, too. The one Paul made up. Super Journey or whatever.”

            “Ultimate
Voyager,” Austin said as he helped Bix across the intersection. It was true, he
loved that game. Or he had until last spring. The witch hunt over the person
behind the UltimateStarCrossed persona had made him sick to witness. Hundreds
of players argued about the merits of throwing the girl out of the game but
Austin could never decide whether the allegations were true. Her guild accused
her of writing a virus that rigged the final levels, and using some sort of
program that stole information from the other players. Of course cheaters
should be barred. It wasn’t because he’d been a cheater that he reserved
judgment. It just never made sense to him. Especially since they couldn’t ever
track down her real identity. He’d heard it was a woman named Mary Charlene
from New York City, or from Boston, even Natchitoches. But every person they
accused denied she was the woman they were searching for. To this day, no one
was quite sure where UltimateStarCrossed had gone. All they knew was that she
had disappeared after years of playing. Austin still felt unease when he
remembered the swift and irrevocable judgement that was passed on that player.

            “Right.
That one. She’s been plum crazy about it since high school. Even played the
dragon princess at Paul’s opening. Alice went as Elizabeth Barrett Browning but
that’s another story.”

            “Aalyea,
the dragon queen,” Austin supplied, fighting back a laugh and making a note to
ask Alice about that particular choice in cosplay characters.

            “Uh
huh, Aalyea, with the long blond hair. She used to dye it then. Way down her
back. Always had some crazy style, Charlie did.” Bix was smiling at the memory,
but a sadness passed over his face. “Alice is real worried about her. She
hasn’t been the same this summer. I don’t mean her hair. Or those funny gaming
shirts she used to wear.” He chewed his lip for a moment, thinking. “She’s lost
her sparkle. Girls like Charlie light up the room when they walk in, they make
everybody sit up and take notice. They make friends everywhere, as natural as
can be.”

            Austin
pointed out a planter in front of an antiques shop and they stepped around it. He’d
known a girl like that. Everywhere she went, people turned to smile at her.
He’d been so proud to be near her, even if she insisted on keeping their
relationship a secret. He thought of the first time he’d met Charlie and the
way she’d given him a dark look, then turned her back. Certainly not lighting
up the room and most definitely not interested in making friends.

            “I
wish you could find out what the trouble is. In my gut, I feel like something
real bad happened to her but she won’t talk to any of us.” Bix looked up at
him, perfect confidence behind those thick glasses. “You’re good at that.
Drawing people out. Helping ‘em come to peace with it. Solving their problems.”

            Austin
swallowed hard. He didn’t know why everyone had gotten the idea he was such a
miracle worker. Probably because he’d never denied it. His stomach twisted. It
was past time he was honest. But that would include going back, way back to the
beginning and if he did that, he would lose everything he had. His job, his new
place, even his degree.

            “We’re
here,” Bix said, surprise coloring his words as Austin almost steered him past
the turn of the century, two story wooden house with the wrap around porch.

            “Sorry,”
he murmured and helped Bix up the wide steps.

            “I
can smell it already,” Bix said, sniffing the air. “Mmmm. Nothin’ like my
Ruby’s cooking. I woulda married her for that, even if she didn’t make me feel
like a whole new man. After my first wife died, God rest her soul, I thought
I’d never feel that passion again. I resolved myself to livin’ life like an old
priest. But she made my blood warm in a way―”

            “Oh,
look, Gideon and Henry are already here,” Austin said hurriedly. Even his
parents didn’t talk about their love life. Good grief. If he hadn’t sworn off
women already, Bix’s speech might just do it.

            Bix
pulled open the old screen door and waved Austin inside. He stepped into the
comfortable living room and inhaled the scent of good southern cooking. Spices,
greens, and hot oil. All good meals started there.

            Henry
looked up from where she was standing near the piano and blinked in surprise.
“Hey there, Austin. I didn’t know you were coming.” There was a hint of
something in her tone and he glanced around. Charlie was nowhere in sight.

            “I
had to drag him here by his ear,” Bix said as he hung his hat on the coatrack
near the front door. He crossed to the hallway, navigating the living room
easily. “I’m goin’ to change for dinner. You all just make yourself
comfortable.”

            Gideon
appeared in the entryway to the kitchen. “Glad you came,” he said. He moved
forward, hands at his sides. Austin always had the feeling that Gideon wanted
to hug him but didn’t know exactly whether he should. Austin held out his hand
and Gideon took it, smiling that rare smile of his, now less rare since he’d
married Henry. He still carried a subtle sort of quality, some kind of wariness,
that made most people think twice about approaching. Austin knew that Gideon
still carried guilt about the way he’d left their family when he’d gone to
prison, but for Austin he was simply someone who’d been returned to them after
a long absence. His parents said their family was now complete, all the boys
together, all their sons now upright citizens, happy and successful. Austin
didn’t have the heart to correct them.

            “How’s
the database coming along?” Austin asked, glancing past Gideon toward the
kitchen. He hoped he could talk to Charlie before dinner. Sitting down at the
table with everything unsaid would take the flavor right from the food.

            “Excellent.”
He put his arm around Henry, who’d come to stand beside him. “We’ve done a few
test runs and I think we’re getting pretty close to going live.” He looked into
her eyes, admiration and respect as palpable as the humidity coming from the
kitchen. “Even after losing half the collection in the fire, this is still the
biggest historical database of Cane River history ever created. All the photos,
records, land deeds, sales, baptisms, marriages, letters, birth and death
records of the Cane River Creole people, slave and free in one place. It will
bring our culture to the world.”

            “Sounds
wonderful.” Austin felt a glow of pride. This was his family, dedicated to
preserving the fascinating history and faith of their people. The glow faded as
he thought of Alice’s words about books being weapons in the fight to preserve
their culture and how the people around him were doing their best to uphold
their end of the bargain.

            “How’s
everything over at the juvenile justice center? Cora tells me you’re the
favorite counselor there.”  Pride colored Gideon’s words.

            “Oh,
right, it’s going really well.” He could tell them how Cora had read him that
nice letter but then he’d have to skip over the part where he was sure she was
firing him.

            “Stressful?”
Henry asked. A little frown line had appeared between her brows.

            “Not
really. The kids are great.” Not stressful except for how he was never quite
sure what he was supposed to do or say. All he did was parrot back his
textbooks.

            There
was concern in her eyes now. “You’re pretty close to their age, aren’t you? Is
that ever an issue?”

            Austin
thought of the kids who slumped in the chair across from his desk and mumbled
out their life story. He was supposed to be the good guy, the one who could
pass judgement on whether they could graduate the program or go back on
probation. Most days it felt like he was on the wrong side of the desk. “Age?
No. I don’t think they see us similar at all.”

            “Of
course not,” Gideon said, dismissing the idea.

            Henry
said nothing, her gaze slipping past him to focus on a painting above the
couch. Austin felt a bit of relief. He liked Henry. She was clever,
compassionate, and she loved Gideon with everything in her. But she made Austin
feel like she was looking into his soul.

            “Let
me take that,” Gideon said, reaching past Austin.

            He
turned and came face to face with Charlie. She was holding a stack of plates.
Her expression said that Austin was the last person she expected to see, and
not in a good way. She handed over the plates to Gideon and then retreated back
into the kitchen without a word.

            “I’ll
go see if she needs any help,” Henry said and walked past Austin, leaving him
to watch Gideon set the table and feel like the biggest jerk in the world.
Somehow he needed to talk to her before they sat across each other in this cozy
little family dinner. He didn’t think he could choke down the food while
Charlie glared at him, even if it was Ruby’s famous blackened catfish.