Authors: April Emerson
He waves, and I wave back.
I step through the door and am hit with a gust of wind. It’s freezing out, so cold compared to the sweet warmth I just felt.
I head up the path and feel something icy and wet touch my face. Small white flakes land in my hair, and I’m overcome with a feeling of thankfulness. I’m so happy I was just so close to him. I can’t stop thinking about how good I feel when I’m with him. How happy he makes me. How well we fit together.
My heart rate returns to normal now that I know we’re in the clear, but in the back of my mind, I wonder what would happen if we ever got caught.
What would we do? What would Stefan do?
I won’t let myself envision the horrifying worst-case scenario. Instead, I replay the last beautiful hour in my head.
When I get home, I enter our bedroom with caution, afraid to see Stefan. Thankfully, he’s not there, but his overnight bag is open on our dresser. I look inside and see some casual clothes and—
A gun
.
There’s a silver gun with a mahogany handle right on top of his clothing.
I feel sick. I stagger backward and practically collapse on the bed just as Stefan walks in.
He shuts the door and puts his hands on his hips. “I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to say it. I hate to do this, but I have no choice. Carina, I’m sorry, but we have to go back to Italy.”
Chapter Eighteen
I flash back to the plane ride that started it all.
What if I’d never said a word to Stefan? Where would I be now?
If I had not met and become involved with Stefan, I would never have met Enzo. Everything has happened for a reason.
But what’s the reason for this horrible news? How can I leave Ravine Creek?
My time with Enzo has been fleeting. I’ve clung to those rare, glimmering moments of wonderful. How can I go on if they become nonexistent? If I go back to Italy with Stefan, to that huge lonely mansion with Bianca, we’ll be living side by side again, each trapped in a relationship with a man we do not love.
How will I go on?
I’m afraid to leave, and I’m afraid to say no to Stefan. I’m afraid of the cold metal that he has in his bag.
“Why?” I’m stunned. I need answers. “Why do we have to go?”
“We have to go because something has come up. Rocco needs me to come back and take care of some things, and I just don’t have the heart to leave you behind, darling. I can’t have you planning our wedding all on your own.”
He’s full of it as usual.
He sits beside me on the bed, rubbing his hands up and down my back.
Over skin that Enzo just kissed. I stifle an impulse to vomit.
“Carina, I love you. I don’t want to be away from you, even for just a few weeks.”
“So, we’re not moving back there?”
“No. No, I just need to go and take care of some things. It will be quick. A few weeks. A month at the most.”
Uh-huh. Just a few weeks. A month. A few months. No. I have to find a way out of this.
“Are you sure we can’t just stay here?”
He stands and rakes his hands through his hair. “I don’t want to go, either. Nonna isn’t well. You’ve just lost your mother . . . but I have to go, and I need you with me. I can’t be away from you again because of business. I regret not going with you to Michigan. I never want to feel that way again. I guarantee I will never make
you
feel that way again. I should have just let Lorenzo go to New York for me.” He looks out the window at the falling snow and smiles. “That’s it. I can have Lorenzo go!” He looks at me as though it’s the best idea anyone has ever had.
I can’t look disappointed, so I force my face to feign a happy expression. “That’s a . . . great idea.”
I wish he would just go away, just disappear, and leave Enzo and me alone
.
I don’t want to imagine horrible things happening to Stefan, but I do. I have visions of ways he could meet his end. I visualize myself shooting him with his own gun. These dark thoughts rush through my mind and heart, and I hate myself for them. I can’t help it. I’m like a prisoner planning an escape. I would do anything.
“Stefan, I’m not feeling well. I’m going to take a quick shower, okay?”
He rubs his hands together like a thief planning an epic caper as he begins to plot this new course of events. “Yes, darling. Anything you want.”
I grab my robe and open the door.
He walks over to me and shuts it before I can get out. “Listen, I don’t want to say anything to the family until I have all of the details worked out. So don’t discuss it at dinner.”
I nod and Stefan moves in to kiss me. I bow my head so that his lips land on my forehead.
“You’re sweaty, Carina. Are you sure you don’t have a fever?”
“No. I’m fine. I’ll feel better after a shower.”
He smiles. “I’m going to have to tell my nephew not to work you so hard.”
“What did you say?”
“If you’re coming home from work sweaty, it means you’re working far too hard.” He smiles and opens the door for me.
It’s your nephew’s cock that was hard. It was his mouth between my legs that made me sweat. It’s him that I love, not you
.
I can’t let Stefan take him away from me.
I wait until the last minute to come down to dinner and find the family already seated. The chair beside Stefan is empty, of course, and across from my seat is Enzo. Lucy sits beside him with her mother and her father on her other side. Gemma, the chef tonight, sits at the head of the table beside Nonna.
Once I sit, bowls and plates of food are passed around. I have no appetite, and I can’t even bring myself to look at Enzo. Luckily, he is preoccupied with cutting Lucy’s meat for her as she tells him all about the deer she saw while walking with Frank earlier today.
“. . . and I saw it first, and then I said, ‘Daddy, it’s a deers!’ And then we tried to take a picture, but it ran away, but we could see where it went because it’s snowing out, and it left
feetprints
!”
Her story is punctuated by Enzo’s smiles and exaggerated shocked faces. Their whole interaction is so tender and sweet, it almost brings tears to my eyes.
I don’t want him to have to leave his family. He belongs here, not in Italy. He deserves the love and safety of these people, his family, not the loneliness and potential danger waiting for him at Savano Vineyard. If we were to try to run away together, it would be the same thing. Something would always be missing for him.
I have to think of a way . . . but it can’t make anyone suspicious, least of all Stefan
.
I push food around my plate, my head down, lost in my impossible thoughts.
“Where’s Natalie tonight?” Nora asks Enzo.
He drops his fork and it clanks loudly. He clears his throat and hesitates before he answers. “She went out with some of her friends. Why do you ask?” He sips his wine.
I watch his throat as he swallows.
“You should bring her around sometime. She seems to be interested in you, and I’d love to see you start to think about settling down with someone, Lorenzo. She’s cute.”
Now he’s the one pushing food around his plate. He doesn’t look at me. “I’m not planning on settling down until I find the right person.” He takes another sip of wine.
“Leave it alone, Nora,” Gemma says.
I grind my teeth and feel Stefan’s hand drape over my shoulder.
“It took me nearly forty years to find my right person. It will happen for you, too, Lorenzo.”
In a daring motion, I rub my foot against Enzo’s leg under the table. I see his lips twitch in the smallest smile.
Stefan jolts beside me.
He must have seen me. He must be furious
.
He pushes back from the table, his hand to his throat, his face growing red.
He’s not angry. He’s
choking
.
This is it. This is the end. The beginning. This is what I wished for, what I want
.
I stare at Stefan as he lurches up out of his chair and begins to beat his chest. No breath can enter him.
I hear women’s voices screaming, but everyone is frozen.
Except Enzo.
Plates clatter everywhere as he leaps over the table and grips his uncle’s waist and jerks his fist into Stefan’s abdomen. “Come on, Stefan. Breathe.”
Deafening silence.
Finally, the piece of food dislodges, and Stefan takes a gasping breath.
I cover my mouth with my hands, and my eyes widen as I realize what just occurred. I sat here and did nothing to help my dying fiancé while Enzo saved the life of the man who has always been so important to him.
Everyone at the table is dumbfounded.
Plates and food are scattered on the floor, and I do the only thing I can think of that makes sense. I jump up and wrap my arms around Stefan.
After the family is satisfied that Stefan is okay, we all clean up the mess together, and then everyone heads into the living room, chatting and recapping the almost-deadly events.
I notice Enzo is missing. I slip out and find him in the kitchen, washing dishes alone.
“I don’t need any help. Almost done,” he calls out.
I lean against the countertop, and he smiles when he sees me. I can’t return the expression. “I need to talk to you.”
“What’s wrong?”
I feel my eyes tearing up.
“Cari, what’s wrong?”
I shake my head, unable to summarize the events that have unfolded—one of us will have to leave this place, I wished death upon my husband, and my wish almost came true.
“Please, don’t cry. Listen, I’m going to tell them that I’m going out. In ten minutes, say you’re going to bed and meet me at my car. It’s parked in the back driveway.”
I nod, and he marches into the living room to announce his plans.
I wipe my eyes and enter the living room several minutes later.
Stefan is playing chess with Frank as if nothing even happened.
“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”
“I’m fine, Carina. Don’t worry about me. I’m not going anywhere.” He takes my hand in his and kisses it.
“It’ll take a lot more than a piece of steak to take this guy down,” Frank says and makes a move on the board.
I yawn and stretch, trying to mask how bad of an actress I am.
“You should head up to bed if you’re tired, darling. You worked hard today.”
“All right.” I walk over to him, rub his shoulders, and then give him a chaste kiss on the cheek.
No one pays any attention as I walk toward the stairs, past them, and grab my coat before slipping out the back door.
The air is frigid and tiny white flakes cascade all around me. A thin layer of ice has formed on top of the snow and on the trees.
The white of the snow creates a haunting light against the deep midnight blue of the sky as the lights of the house grow smaller behind me.
Enzo’s leaning against his car. His face is hidden in shadows, and his breath looks like smoke with each exhale. He has his arms wrapped around himself in a solitary embrace.
I bring my crunching feet to a halt beside him. “We have to go.”
“What? Where do you want to go?”
“Not you and I. I wish it was us.” The lump in my throat grows. “Stefan needs to go back to Italy and he wants me to join him. I resisted the idea and now he wants to send
you
. He wants to send you away. I have a feeling whatever he needs to handle there will be lethal.”
“Maybe I should go.”
“What?” I raise my voice. “No.”
Enzo opens his car door. “Shh. Let’s talk in here.”
I walk to the other side and get in.
We’re alone, trapped together in this freezing metal box. Snow has settled on the windows, covering them completely, and the car almost feels like a coffin.
“It would make everything easier if I just left, Cari. You know it’s true.”
I shake my head in resistance. “No, it’s
not
true.”
“Yes, it is! Do you realize that I was just tempted to let my uncle choke to death? I hesitated in saving him tonight because I was too busy thinking about what it would be like if he was gone from our lives. How fucking sick is that?”
“I thought the same exact thing.”
He thumps his fist against the steering wheel. “Fuck!”
We sit in mutual silence, hating ourselves, hating the people this affair is turning us into.
“I’m going to go to Italy. It’s what Stefan wants, and it’s for the best.”
“So, that’s it? That’s the end? It’s over?”
He doesn’t reply.
I put my hands on his shoulders. “Enzo, look at me. You need to do whatever it takes to stay. You have to think of
something
. Lose a bet. I don’t know. I don’t care!”
He looks me in the eyes, licks his lips, and looks down at his hands. “Do I really mean that much to you?”