Portrait of Jealousy (The Art Models Club Book 2) (10 page)

Amber had heard that level of desperation from her mother when the rent was due or when she had plowed through her food stamps only halfway through the month. Could Kayla's family have some sort of financial woes? But that didn't make sense if her father was some sort of bigwig executive type. Then again, none of this made sense.

Amber waited several minutes after hearing the building door shut before slipping out from behind the candy machine. She ducked back into the restroom to clean herself up.

Looking at herself in the mirror, she realized that she looked as though she were a repair person. Her fingers were filthy. Her tee shirt was not only dirty but had a small rip in the shoulder. Dirt and oil were smeared across one leg of her jeans. She would be lucky if she got the stains out. Hmm . . . maybe she could repair the rip with a funky little patch.

She sighed as she finally left the building. This had turned into a day to skip history class. She didn't think she could handle one more unpleasant experience in her day. Facing drool boy just wasn't an option.

Amber quickly learned that trying to communicate with Hunter by phone was annoyingly difficult because of the time zone difference. Although he sent frequent texts when he could, she barely got to speak to him in person. To make matters worse, Hunter texted the photograph that been printed in the gallery newsletter. In the photo, Hunter stood proudly next to a very stunning Isabelle Lebas. The raven haired woman, slender and leggy, wore a black form-fitting sheath and impossibly tall heels. She held one arm possessively around Hunter's shoulder. Hunter looked incredibly handsome in his suit and tie. His smile showed exactly how happy he was.

Amber had stared down at her frumpy pajama pants and old tee shirt, feeling hopeless. How could she hope to keep Hunter's attention when it was clear that even a woman like Isabelle Lebas found him attractive? She forced herself to write a lighthearted response: “Do not recognize the responsible adult in the photo. Please send search party for Hunter Webb.”

She added a smiley face and hit send. Then, realizing that the reply might sound too flippant, she quickly added a second message. “Very proud of you! Sure that you are exceeding expectations.” She hit reply a second time, wondering when he might see the message. It was now six o'clock in the morning his time.

After the photograph, Amber took as many shifts as her supervisor offered, often coming in to work when others were no shows. If she didn't have a class, Amber always went in. She even worked Thanksgiving morning, refusing Caleb's offer to spend Thanksgiving weekend at his mom's house with him. Hunter had not been happy over her missing Thanksgiving dinner. However, there was little he could do from Paris to make her change her mind. Of course, Stacey was so impressed that she promised to let Amber have several days off in a row during Christmas break.

Even though Kayla had not come around again, Amber was always looking over her shoulders, sure that the girl would pop up on her again when she was least prepared. Maybe that was even part of Kayla's strategy to keep her unnerved.

Knowing that Kayla was being forced to go after Hunter was not enough to keep Amber's anxiety levels down. In some ways it made things worse. If Kayla felt like she ultimately had no choice, she would always be trying to find a wedge that would cleave Amber and Hunter apart.

The truth was that working on her feet double shifts and coming home exhausted was what got Amber through the weekends when she felt the loneliest. Painting was also a balm. She was using Hunter's room as her own private studio so that she didn't have to commute to the college after hours. She would stay there, painting late into the night. Professor Collins expected three finished paintings by the end of the term and she was determined that she would make a good impression. She had chosen some of her early sketches of Hunter to work with for one of the paintings. 

The other two paintings, however, were self-portraits. She knew she was taking a risk, but she felt a deep need to search within herself. When she looked in the mirror, she saw only her flaws. She saw her mother's failures in life. She saw a girl who could easily be discounted. A girl who was easily broken. Even in a photograph Amber saw that Isabelle Lebas was a woman to be reckoned with. She stood straight. She stared at the camera with confidence. Even Kayla with the big boobs had confidence after Hunter rejected her.

When Hunter was around, he made Amber feel strong and confident. But now that he was gone, she knew that she was reverting back to her timid self. She kept her head down at work and avoided problems. Only when she was painting or sketching did she really feel alive. So she hoped to catch some of that in her self-portraits.

She had pulled the mirrors back out and made herself the model, even posing nude for some of her sketches. Learning to sketch herself with mirrors was hard, but it was a way to push herself beyond her comfort zone. How could she expect Hunter to ever love her if she could not find something to love in herself?

Perhaps Kayla was right. Perhaps her past was something that Hunter ultimately wouldn't be able to accept. But if that was the case, why seek out her affection in the first place. He knew all about her from the very beginning. Were his parents going to be an issue? Would she ever even meet them? Ugh! She wished she could stop her brain from thinking too much!

Of course, there were also nights when she had to cover her ears with a pillow as she heard Caleb and his  girlfriend of the week having sex. To be honest, Amber had never thought about the noises that she and Hunter made. No wonder Caleb often took in late night movies, she thought after listening to a particular high-pitched scream from the other room. Ugh! She was going to be a lot more respectful of Caleb's presence in the future.

As Christmas break approached, she started anticipating Hannah's visit. Surely Hannah would see that they just needed a girl night or two to bond again. Amber was even curious about meeting the mystery guy. She was puzzled as to why Hannah was being so secretive. It simply wasn't like her at all. Hannah typically bragged about her recent conquests. Which made this particular guy seem a little scary to Amber. Was there a reason Hannah didn't want anyone to know about him?

Still, with all the extra shifts she had taken, she had saved enough to pay for a couple of dinners out. But just a week before Christmas, Amber was taken by surprise when Hannah announced that she was still bringing someone with her.

“Okay, I've been holding out,” Hannah said.

“
But I want to bring John with me and I just don't think that Dad's going to like him.”

“
That's never stopped you before,” Amber said.

Frank and Lucy were actually pretty liberal with Hannah. Boys could stay over as long as they stayed in the guest room.

“Yeah, well, I'm in college now. And John is a bit older so he is not going to take kindly to sleeping in a guest room with me down the hall.”

“
So bring him for dinner and then get a hotel room. You don't even have to tell them you're still in town while he's visiting.”

Hannah dropped her voice a notch.

“Um . . . The thing is that he is a bit short on cash. No big deal but he needs a place to crash. So I figured we could just stay at your place until Hunter gets back.”

“
Until Hunter gets back? That's a couple of months from now! What about school?”

Hannah laughed. “Come on, what are you worried about? Hunter can afford it. He gives you money for groceries and bills I'm guessing. So we can do all that for you. Drive you around. Buy your food, pay the bills. You'll have personal service. And we'll do it just for the room and board.”

Amber stared at the phone. “You're joking right? You aren't even making sense! And, for the record Hunter doesn't give me money.”

“
Stop being a goody two shoes, Amber,” Hannah said, her voice sharp. “My family helped you out and now you can help me out.”

“
Hannah, you know I'd help you out if I could but you're talking about using Hunter. And there is no way in hell he would allow two people to live in his apartment the whole time he was gone. Even if he would, my room isn't that big.

“
Your room?” Hannah laughed.

“
Oh, sweetie, I wouldn't want to displace you. We could use Hunter's room. You said it's the biggest room in the house.”

Amber's head was swimming. She couldn't believe that Hannah was even asking her this. She would have to be hopped up on drugs to be thinking this irrationally.

“Um . . .Hannah? You stopped taking the uppers, right?”

The other end of the phone got silent. For a moment, Amber thought that Hannah had hung up on her. Which meant that she was way off base. Or spot on target.

When Hannah finally responded, she sounded ticked off.

“
I can't believe your pulling this crap,” she said harshly. “I thought we were friends.
”

“
Oh, come on, Hannah,” Amber retorted, suddenly angry herself. “You haven't seen me in months and you suddenly have this boyfriend that you can't bring home to your dad. The boyfriend is dead broke and you want me to hand over my boyfriend's apartment, money, and car? Do you even recognize how freaking insane you sound right now?”

“
I'm sorry, Amber,” Hannah said, sounding contrite. “I'm just so caught up with John and I want to be with him so much. You know how that feels, right?”

“
Of course I do, Hannah! You know how much its killing me while Hunter is gone.”

“
Look, I have to go,” Hannah said suddenly. “I'll see you at my parents on Christmas Eve and we'll work all this out then. Okay, sweetie?”

And just like that, Hannah hung up on her. Ugh! She had forgotten how stubborn Hannah could be. This trip was supposed to be a best friend get together. But she knew that Hannah would be fully absorbed with this loser guy John. Worse, she had a bad feeling that Hannah was using drugs. It was one of the reasons that they stopped hanging around each other as much last year.

Amber threw down the phone and rubbed her forehead. She could feel a headache coming on. She had a feeling that Hannah was going to try to force the issue. She didn't want to fight her best friend.

Later, as she stared at her image in the mirror as she painted, she wondered if standing up for herself, standing up for what she knew Hunter wanted, was wrong if it made Hannah unhappy. She only had a few days to figure it out. Had she and Hannah grown so far apart that she even had to ask? And who would she choose if she had to decide between the two?

Pulling up to the modest home where Hannah's parents still lived, Amber sat in the Range Rover for several minutes. For the first time ever, she felt uncomfortable coming here. Hannah's parents had been there for her ever since she could remember. She had often spent the night here when things got too rough at home. The past several years she had celebrated at least Christmas Eve at their house. When they were younger, she and Hannah had been inseparable. But in high school things blurred a bit.

While Amber often worked to save for college, Hannah dated and enjoyed all that high school had to offer. When Amber wasn't working, she was studying late at night to keep her grades up. She knew that her only hope of escaping her mother's life was to go to college. The problem, she realized suddenly, was that she was outgrowing Hannah.

Sighing, Amber grabbed her small bag of gifts and carried them inside. Like always, she simply opened the front door and walked in. Hannah's parents would have been insulted if she had rung the bell.

As she entered the foyer she was surprised to hear Hannah and her dad yelling. She stopped, not wanting to invade their privacy. She started to back up and go sit in the car for ten minutes when Hannah's mom, Lucy, stopped her.

“
Amber, honey, let me look at you!”

She waved a hand in the direction of the verbal fight.

“Don't mind them. They'll stop fussing in a few minutes. Frank is upset because of Hannah's grades.”

Lucy opened her arms and the two hugged for several moments.

“My, you get prettier every time I see you,” Lucy said.

“
Hang up your coat and let's go and stop all this racket. It's Christmas Eve and I'm not having it ruined with temper tantrums.”

Amber squeezed her coat in the small closet  and took off her shoes. She padded in her sock feet behind Lucy.

Lucy was a lion trapped in a tiny woman's body. Her temper was legendary. Amber grinned as Lucy grabbed a yardstick from the top of the refrigerator. When she and Hannah had been naughty as kids, Lucy would always grab that ruler and chase them around the house with it. She never actually touched them, but the threat always felt real. They always stopped whatever mischief they were involved in.

Now, Amber giggled as Lucy marched into Hannah's room, brandishing the yardstick like a sword.

“I thought I told you two to knock it off half an hour ago!”

Both Hannah and her dad, Frank, ducked and dodged, trying to move out of Lucy's path. It was particularly amusing because Frank was over six feet tall and had bulging muscles. Lucy, on the other hand, barely measured five feet and probably weighed no more than a hundred pounds.