[Ravage MC 03.75] - Rattle Me (8 page)

In the car on the drive home, I allow the tears to rain down my face. Even if he didn’t sleep with her, something is going on there that he is trying to hide. My gut tells me to trust him, but my battered heart aches.

Parking the car, I rush into the house and strip out of my clothes, deciding on a shower instead of a bath. I crawl into bed after putting on comfy jammies and allow my tears to fall, finally drifting off to sleep.

I awake with a start, jolting out of bed. Sitting up, I take in my surroundings and relax. For some reason, my mind wanted me to be at the cemetery. Damn dreams. I shake my head and move to the bathroom, walking quickly so I don’t piss my pants. I swear I’m peeing every five minutes lately.

I listen to sounds in the house as I move, but don’t hear anything. GT must not be home yet. Good. I’m still not ready to hear his explanation. If the roles were reversed, he would have stormed up and kicked the guy’s ass. Maybe that’s what I should have done. Who am I kidding? Being pregnant, I would never risk my baby for some piece of shit club momma.

I pull down my pants and gasp, my insides freeze and time stands completely still. Blood. Bright-red thick blood coats my underwear. My hands shake along with my legs; tears cascade down my face. No. No.

This cannot be happening again. I pull my pants and underwear off, throwing them onto the floor and hearing them hit the tile.

I grab toilet paper and quickly clean myself up. The blood disappears from my skin, but when I wipe, it’s still there. I rush to my phone, fumbling through the door of the bathroom. I grab my purse from the chair by the bed and search through it quickly. My hands shake but I brush it off. I need to help my baby; fear is not standing in my way.

I dial the doctor’s number and within five minutes I am speaking with her on the phone.

“Casey, the nurse said you have some bleeding?”

My heart races and my hands are so damn slippery it’s hard to hold the phone, but I grip it hard, not wanting to lose this connection. “Yes. I woke up from a nap and blood was everywhere.”

“When you put toilet tissue on your vagina is there more blood?”

I do it again quickly to see if it’s stopped. Damn. “Ye-yes,” I get out but my voice is losing its strength.
I will be strong. My baby needs me.

“Is anyone home with you?” The doctor’s concern comes though the phone, upping my anxiety to catastrophic levels.

“No.” My hand shakes and I grip the phone tight, trying not to drop it.

“I do not want you driving. Call someone and meet me at the hospital. If you can’t find someone or they can’t get to you in ten minutes, you call an ambulance and meet me there.”

“Th-th-the hospital?” I thought maybe her office, but the hospital is bringing back thoughts of Mia and
that
day. My knees buckle, but I catch myself on the bed and sit.

“It’s just a precaution. If there is something wrong, I will be able to help you best there. Now, call and meet me there. I’ll be waiting for you.”

“Okay,” I whisper and hang up then quickly call GT. It goes straight to voicemail. Shit. I dial Harlow and nothing. I dial Ma and she answers on the first ring.

“Hello?” Her voice is bright and warm and I want to seek comfort in it.

“Ma. Please come and pick me up. I’m bleeding and can’t get ahold of GT. The doctor doesn’t want me driving and wants me at the hospital.” I choke back my sobs and swipe my hand across my nose, leaving a trail of snot that I wipe on the bed.

“I’m on my way. Be outside waiting for me. I’m about two miles away at the gas station.”

I nod then, realizing she can’t see me, I answer, “Okay.”

“I’ll find GT, I promise you that.” The sound of Ma’s car revving gives me little peace, but I am thankful in the same breath. I slip on some cotton underwear and sweatpants, grabbing my phone, and purse and head to the door. I lock it and sit on the steps that lead to our entryway.

Fear grips me and twists my heart into a knot. I suddenly become painfully aware that if I lose this baby too, I may not make it. There is only so much strength a woman can have.

Stay strong, little one. I’m going to get help. I promise.

Those minutes feel like hours as they slowly tick by. I sit and cry, holding my stomach. I love this baby so much. I rock back and forth, wiping my face profusely with the back of my hand. Ma’s black SUV barrels down my road and I rise, waiting for her to stop. She throws the truck into park and rushes out of the car.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Everything’s going to be okay,” Ma reassures me over and over as she helps me in the car. I’m in pain, but I enjoy her comfort.

“We have to go.” The urgency in my voice is clear as she shuts my door and runs to the other side of truck, getting in and starting it.

I clip my belt just as she takes off. I reach forward, steadying myself on the dash and look over at her. She’s biting her cheek and her eyes are in deep concentration. When we get on the main drag, she turns on her Bluetooth and the speakers crackle to life.

“Call Pops.” The machine does her bidding just like everyone else. Ma is one tough cookie all the way around.

“Hey, sweetie. Saw you called and was getting ready to call you back,” Pops coos through the speakers. At any other time, my heart would melt at the sentiment, not right now. I need to get help for my baby.

“Find GT. Angel’s bleeding and I’m taking her to the hospital.” Her words are frantic and rush out of her mouth like a waterfall.

“Shit,” he mutters. “Is she okay?”

She looks over at me and I try to give a small smile. “Don’t know yet. We’ll know more when we get there.”

“I’ll get him there in ten minutes. Love ya.” He hangs up without another word from Ma.

“I swear these men are so damn hard to find when ya need ‘em.” Her hands grip the steering wheel so tight her knuckles turn white. Her concentration on the road while having a conversation is admirable.

“GT probably didn’t answer because he’s mad. We had a little… issue.” I think back to his lips on that woman, my stomach cringes. Not time for that shit now.

“You’ll have a lot of those. What did he do?” This is really not the time to be discussing this. I could be losing my baby, but I answer, not wanting to be disrespectful.

“He kissed a woman on top of her head and hugged her tight outside the clubhouse door. I wasn’t supposed to be at work, but I was bored and wanted something to do. I saw him, he got pissed. I went home.”

“And that’s why you’re bleeding?” she huffs. “That boy.” She shakes her head and pulls into the emergency area. I open the door quickly and rush to the door. The rumbling of bikes in the distance catches my attention. I hope that’s him. I walk into the ER and immediately see Dr. Hernandez waiting for me.

“Come.” She says no more, just ushers me into a wheelchair and pushes me down the long white corridor and into a room with lots of machines. Three nurses wait for us, helping me up out of the chair. They quickly help me out of my clothes and hand me a robe. Dr. Hernandez and Ma stay right by my side as I climb into the bed.

The doors burst open and GT barrels in, panic evident on his face. “What’s wrong?” He ignores the doctor, nurses, and comes at me, but before I can speak, Ma stops him and begins talking to him in a low, calm voice. The small bit of relief having him here grips me. Together. We are in this together.

“The blood was bright red, correct?” the doctor asks, pulling my attention away from GT and Ma.

“Yes.” My voice comes out raspy like I haven’t had anything to drink for quite some time.

“Let’s get the ultrasound over here first.” The nurse brings the machine over, setting it next to my head. She pulls my gown up and a nurse throws a blanket over my exposed flesh. Doctor Hernandez squirts the gel and puts the microphone back onto my stomach. Seconds later, I hear it. The thump that I heard back at her office echoes throughout the room. My eyes shoot over to GT’s and he freezes at the sound, running over to the other side of the bed next to me. He pulls my hand into his and clutches it as if I’d disappear at any moment. My heart fills.

Ma gasps, but I don’t turn her way.

“Look.” Dr. Hernandez points to the screen on the machine and my world stops. I didn’t think I could have any more tears, but I do and they pour down my face. A grainy black and white picture appears on the screen. It is the exact profile of a human face, from the curve of the eye, the tip of the nose, and even a small indentation for a mouth. I can’t really see the features or anything, but it’s all there.

“Holy shit!” GT booms, making the nurses beside the machine jump.

The doctor moves her hand to the screen. “See here.” She points at a little flicker. It’s like a light flashing. “That’s your baby’s heart beating.” I squeeze GT’s hand, bringing it to my lips, and kissing it.

“I have no fucking words.” GT’s voice is shaky and a slight squeeze on my foot has me looking down that way. Ma is standing there, her eyes leaking just like mine. I give a short smile and turn back to the monitor.

“See how the baby is positioned.” She gestures to the screen, showing us an entire side profile, including stomach and little bitty legs. “There’s no way to tell the sex of baby. But look at that.” The little baby on the screen lifts its tiny little arm and it looks as if it’s waving to us. Sobs rack my body as the doctor pushes some more buttons. Dr. Hernandez smiles and turns to me with a deadly serious look. “This is all really good, Casey, but we have to find out why you bled. I’m going to do an exam, get your blood drawn, and we are going to get the tests going. We’re gonna hook you up to a bunch of monitors to get reads on the baby. It’s going to be overwhelming for a little while, but it’s what needs to be done.”

“Okay,” I say, not taking my eyes off the screen. Dr. Hernandez moves the wand away from my stomach and my heart aches, not seeing my baby.

She turns to GT. “Here.” She hands him three small rectangles of pictures and his eyes light up like she just gave him the world. “You hold on to these while we get her tests going. You have to wait out in the waiting room for just a little bit and I’ll come back and get you.”

“Is the baby okay?” GT asks, not budging toward the door, his eyes glued to the doctor while he clutches the pictures.

“Everything on the monitor and the ultrasound looks good, but there was a reason she was bleeding and I need to figure it out.”

I look up at GT. “I’ll be okay. Let them do this so we can find out what’s going on.” My eyes connect with his and pain is swirling inside of them.

“I’m so sorry, Angel.” He shakes his head. “I didn’t—”

“Not now. Go with Ma. The sooner we do this, the faster we can go home,” I try reassuring him, even though I want him by my side during this whole process, but right now is not the time to discuss any of this and if the doctor says he has to go, then he has to go. Me being scared out of my ever-loving mind isn’t reason enough to disobey.

“I’ll be right outside those doors. I’m not leaving.” My heart breaks for the pain and guilt I see written all over his face. I want to wash it away for him.

I give him a tight smile. “I know, baby.” He leans down and places his hand on my cheek, pressing his lips to mine. My breath is taken away for a moment. He pulls back. “Take care of her.” He directs the words to the doctor.

“I sure will.” Dr. Hernandez begins moving throughout the room in a rush with the nurses on her heels.

I turn back to GT. “Go. Let’s get this over with. Everything will be fine.” I try to believe the words coming out of my mouth, but part of me is fighting to not yell
you’re full of shit!
to myself.

“I’ll be right outside that door,” he repeats himself. I can see in his eyes he’s worried as shit and the fact he has no control over it is eating away at him.

“Okay. Ma?” I look at her expectantly. She nods, reading my thoughts.

“I’ve got him.” She squeezes my foot again. “We will see you very soon.” Ma practically has to push GT out of the room, but he does go. I watch the scene around me and the worry deepens. Logically, I saw the baby moving inside of me; subconsciously, all I can think is that didn’t make a difference last time.