Read Bottom Up (20 page)

 

 

 

Subject: Merci

From: Madeline Whittaker

Date: Fri, Jun 20 at 8:45 AM

To: Emily Roberts

. . . thanks for coming last night. Do I owe you one? Why do I feel like I owe you one?

KISSES.

 

Subject: Re: Merci

From: Emily Roberts

Date: Fri, Jun 20 at 12:30 PM

To: Madeline Whittaker

You owe me more than one. Or one very big one. WHO WAS THAT SKANK? You know how I hate to turn on our own kind but . . . At one point while you were making cooking-sex-face (“Oh, is that how you whip vanilla beans into cream? Go faster, Elliot . . .”) I got trapped talking to David and that girl. Is she an actual stripper? You know she showed me what was in her pocket at one point and I was 100% prepared for her to whip out a sex toy and instead she was like: HERE'S THE PINK LEATHER-BOUND BIBLE I CARRY WITH ME EVERYWHERE I GO.

Whatever. I shall recover from one night of vapid conversation but it's a shame because . . . I don't really know David well enough to say that he could do better but isn't he a lawyer or something? He is kind of cool and vaguely non-heinous-looking. Too bad he and Fluffy the Bible Thumper had their hands down each other's pants (IN A KITCHEN WITH AN “A” FROM THE DEPT. OF HEALTH, NO LESS).

 

Subject: Re: Merci

From: Madeline Whittaker

Date: Fri, Jun 20 at 12:48 PM

To: Emily Roberts

I am dying laughing.