Rebound: Passion Book 2 (5 page)

“Pumpkin
you okay? You’ve been standing there with a lost look on your face for about five
minutes.” Dad is constantly watching and waiting. I know he expects me to have
another meltdown and it scares him. “Sorry dad I was just thinking about
something, I’m fine I promise.” I turned to the sink where I’d been about to
rinse my coffee cup before I got sidetracked. I couldn’t bear to see that look
of worry that was a constant thing with my dad these days. It’s the first time
since I was a kid that we’re living together and we can’t even enjoy that
because of one man’s craziness. No don’t go there Kadyn, you have enough to
deal with without dropping back into that deep dark hole. I haven’t thought of
him this much in a long time, not since I came here and felt free for the first
time in forever.

“You can
take the day off if you need to I’ll call Janet to cover…”

“No dad
that’s okay I’ve got it.” Working keeps me busy and helps the days go by
faster. It keeps me from dwelling too much on the past and the bleak future
ahead of me. I’m eighteen years old and already I feel like my life is over.
The unfairness of it all threatens to cripple me sometimes but the shrink said
I have to fight to overcome those feelings. Easy for him to say he’s not the
one living under a dark cloud. I’ve seen those afterschool specials; I know how
these things work. I’ll be running for the rest of my life, looking over my
shoulder. And no piece of paper was going to save me from the clutches of a
deranged monster who’d vowed to torment me for the rest of my life.

I
miss mom but I can’t call her. Too risky the cop had said. It makes me wonder
what kind of justice system we have where the victim is constantly under threat
from her tormentor. He has all the rights I have none. I guess I am going down
that deep dark hole today after all, since my mind doesn’t seem to want to quit.
I felt the threat of tears at the corners of my eyes as I tried to hurry out of
the room so dad wouldn’t see. I know he feels helpless his hands too are tied.
To protect me would mean a jail sentence.

 
What a world we live in when a man can’t
protect his own flesh and blood. But the police and the lawyers had warned him
against retaliation. The best he could do was uproot me from my home and move
me halfway across the country. While the evil one gets to stay in his home and
live freely. I know it’s only a matter of time before he finds me. In this day
of technology it wouldn’t take much. The restraining order advising him to stay
away wouldn’t do much I’m sure. He’s already made that known. I ran to the
bathroom and threw up as the whole sordid mess came crashing down on me.

I
stared in the mirror at my drawn face trying to find the girl from a few years
ago. Inside I knew she was gone but it was still hard sometimes to let go. Some
days I wish I could pretend that the last few years hadn’t happened and just go
back to being that carefree young woman who was just starting to blossom. Who
would she have become? How far would she have gone to achieve her dreams?

It
wasn’t possible that life could be derailed that drastically through no fault
of your own. That someone else could take away your control so easily. One day
you’re an innocent teenaged girl full of hope and that boundless energy that
came with youth, and in the twinkling of an eye you were a shell of yourself.
Left bruised and battered in spirit, which I was beginning to think was worst
than physical blows. At least those healed with time, my wounds will never
heal. Not as long as my tormentor drew breath.

I
wonder what would’ve happened had I met Matthew before, in a time when I was
free to follow the unusual beating of my heart. I knew what that all meant, I’m
not that green. I know what the shortness of breath and the racing heart
implied. I know what seeing his face the last thing at night before I closed my
eyes entailed; one more dream lost. I went to my room and grabbed my journal
for a quick reminder before heading down to the diner. I’d written down a set
of rules that I needed to follow in order for my life to have any semblance of
normality. There was no place for Matt or anyone else on those pages, there can
never be. I will never put another human being in danger that would be selfish
after all. But how I wish…

MATT

I
can’t go on like this. One minute, I’m angry about the whole Patti situation
and the next, I’m angry about Kadyn. The only common denominator here is anger.
I’ve never been an angry person before, but lately it seems that’s all I know.
Anger and fear; I’m afraid that I’ll never learn to trust another human being
again. That I’ll always be this hard, cold shell that I’ve become.

 
I want to be excited about going away to
school and finally getting the hell out of dodge at least for a little while;
but not even that can get me out of the doldrums. Why the hell should this girl
have so much influence over me? I don’t know her, but somehow she’s infiltrated
my mind and I find I have more thoughts of her than I now do of my unfortunate
three-year lapse in judgment.

 
I’m sure my brother would think that’s a good
thing. At least I’ve had sort of a reprieve from his meddling for the past few
days. With Carrie sick he’s been like a bear with his paw caught in a trap and
I along with the rest of the self preserving members of the human race have
been steering clear of his ass. Watching them somehow has opened my eyes to an
even more daunting realization. I was never really in love; I’m not sure if
that’s worst but I do know it makes me feel like a complete ass.

Patti
has tried to contact me more than once since the whole incident. After she’d
been home on bail and her and Carrie got into it Josh had lost his mind and dad
had pulled some strings to have her held until trial. I’m not sure exactly what
he did because her family isn’t without their resources, I guess it came down
to who had the biggest balls and dad won. I didn’t tell the family about her
attempts to reach out to me through her sister and friends. One because I had
no doubt Joshua would find a way to end her and I didn’t want him taking her
place behind bars, and two, I had no interest in seeing her ever again. I’d made
peace with that at least.

In
the beginning it was hard to accept that I could so easily turn my back on
someone I loved. I always believed that if I loved someone there wasn’t
anything that person could do that would stop me loving them. That I’d be there
no matter what, the way my dad was with mom. That had proven false with her and
it was only now that I was beginning to accept the reason. Sad, I would’ve gone
ahead and married her at some point in the not too distant future and missed…a
picture of Kadyn flashed into my head just then and my stupid heart went on
alert. “What the fuck?” I rubbed the spot and looked around my room but there
were no answers there.

“Ice
cream tonight Matt.” My brother walked into my room where I was playing around
with a barbell on the side of my bed. He looked sporty in his button down Black
Label and tailored slacks with loafers. Nothing at all like the raving lunatic
who’s been running up and down the house in sweats and a tank for the past few
days ordering everybody around. I hope lil sis hurries up and get better before
he goes back into asshole mode. “What do you mean ice cream tonight? You’re
gonna leave Carrie?” He looked at me like I was a two year old with a learning
disability.

“No
asshole, you don’t leave your woman while she’s sick to go get ice cream. She
wants ice cream, said she’s feeling better and it’s the only thing she wants so
it’s what she’s getting.” Yep he was totally gone, if I ever get like that I’ll
throw my ass off a bridge. The thought almost made me smile but since he looked
like he was biting nails I decided it was best to keep my humor to myself. My
brother, though I always knew he was stronger than others thought and not the
book nerd, had morphed into something entirely unexpected in the last few
months since meeting and marrying Carrie. It was almost as if I didn’t have to
stand watch over him anymore. Nah, that’s a lifetime commitment. Now I grinned
at his whipped ass because I suddenly felt lighter.

“Okay
okay calm down I just asked. Let me get dressed and we’ll go.” Why was my heart
racing in my chest and my stomach tied in knots? Fuck I so do not want to deal
with this bullshit right now. I’ve been lecturing myself all day about this
shit and had finally made up my mind that I wasn’t ready to go there. Now at
the mere thought of seeing her again my body betrays me.

 
She isn’t even my type. She has dark hair and
eyes; I’m more into the blonde haired blue-eyed type. She’s a good foot shorter
than I am when I could’ve sworn I liked my women super model tall and thin.
This shit is way too confusing. I contemplated begging off but with Carrie’s
doubts still fresh in my mind I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Who knows what
Josh would do to me if he thought I was slighting his wife again? See my little
brother knows that there’s no way in the world I’d ever hurt him so he’s been
getting away with shit his whole life. Not that he’d ever really hurt me or
anything but he knew I wouldn’t retaliate. That’s how deep the bond is between
us, and why this shit had gutted me

 
He left me to rummage through my closet for
something to wear. I was not about to dress to impress her but I needed to look
good so I went with a summer sweater and slacks with loafers. The short cut
Carrie had given me didn’t need anything more than a hand passed over it, a
splash of cologne and I was set. Hopefully no one would notice the veneer of
excitement I was trying hard to hide. I met them down in the foyer a few
minutes later and had to cough to hide my laugh.

 
“How are you feeling lil sis? You look
better.” She was also bundled up as if she was going on an expedition in the
Himalayas, no doubt Josh’s doing. “I’m much better now thanks, and thanks for
the flowers.”

“No
problem.” I kissed her forehead before her husband dragged her away from me and
headed for the door making me laugh. He was lecturing the poor girl to death
about staying warm. She looked over her shoulder and mouthed the words ‘help
me’ and I lost it.

Josh
sat in back with his arms around her as I drove us to the diner. It was still
early in the evening but the dinner crowd had already dispersed. That’s life in
a small town; we’re closing up shop while other places are just getting the
night started. There were a few cars parked in the parking lot but no one was
in our corner booth when we walked in.

 
I didn’t see her and I felt disappointment rip
through me, which only pissed me off. What does it matter if she’s here or not?
I’ve been coming here for years without the sight of her. But if she wasn’t
here where the hell was she? In the days that I’ve been tailing her I never saw
her with anyone which led me to believe that she didn’t know anyone in this
town.

“Looking
for someone Matt?” Shit, I was casing the joint like I was about to rob it. Of
course Josh would notice that shit. Even with his question as the three of us
sat around the table I couldn’t help giving the place one more once over before
getting settled. His stupid shit-eating grin made me want to punch him. “Shut
up Josh.” He held his hands up in surrender before whispering something in his
wife’s ear. The two of them looked at me with smarmy looks on their faces
before picking up their menus. I pretended to do the same but I was covertly
checking every corner for the sight of a tight ass. Just give it up Matt, she’s
not here and it shouldn’t matter to you anyway. So why did I feel like someone
had kicked my puppy?

“Good
evening.”

“Shit,
where’d you come from?” Now I was angry that she was here? What the fuck is
wrong with my head? Whatever it is I’d better get it figured out quick because
the looks my bother and his bride were giving me did not bode well for any more
fuck ups. “Uh sorry, you startled me that’s all.”

“That’s
okay, um do you guys need something to drink while you look over the menus?”
Had she been this shy the last time we’d met? I couldn’t remember. In fact come
to think of it I can never really remember much of anything after one of our
encounters other than the fucked up way she makes me feel.

 
“We’re just having ice cream tonight. How are
you Kadyn? You settling into our little town here?”

Carrie addressed her as though
they were long lost friends.

“I’m fine
thank you, Carrie is it? As to the town it’s okay I guess, just takes a little
getting used to after living in a big city.”

“Oh
really where is that?” I asked out loud before I could help myself. I wonder if
the others noticed the slight withdrawal or the flinch of unease as she looked
around as if searching for an escape. I got that sick feeling in the pit of my
stomach again. “Um out West, so you guys are having ice cream you say?” Josh
passed me a look of understanding. I’d let it slip to him that I thought she’d
been hurt but we’d never had a real chance to go any farther than that after
Carrie got sick. Now I guess he was picking up on her behavior as well. With
everything that had gone on in our lives here lately the thought of what that
could mean didn’t sit too well with me.