Renegade (27 page)

All my fault. That’s what had happened before. Why I was punished. I deserve to be punished. Innocent people are dead because of me. And now I know it isn’t the first time. How many other deaths are on my hands?

Gavin suddenly grabs my arm and tugs. “Come on. It’s time to go.”

I stare at him, uncomprehending. “Go? Why? Where?”

“People are coming. They must’ve heard something.” He tries yet again to pull me to my feet.

At first I resist. I won’t leave Macie. She needs me. Then I hear the banging on the door.

“Evie, come on. Please. We have to go.”

“We can’t just leave her!”

“There’s no time! I’m sorry. I really am. Please! Don’t make me throw you over my shoulder and drag you out the door.”

The door to the apartment crashes in and my instincts, my Enforcer instincts, kick back in. I jump to my feet and pull a surprised Gavin toward the servant’s tunnels. Unfortunately, people are already coming through that way, effectively cutting off any escape. Now we’re stuck in the middle of the hallway, surrounded.

Again I hear the clicking sound in my head and my whole body calms. My heart rate settles. My breathing evens. Even the pain is gone. I smile at the Guards as they jam into the small hallway. I take a quick head count. Six to my front. At least twice that to the rear.

“It’s them,” one says. “The Surface Dweller and the Daughter of the People.”

“She’s covered in blood,” another says.

“Where did it come from?”

“Why is she protecting the Surface Dweller?”

Their voices swim in and around one another, making it impossible to differentiate who’s talking.

Gavin is tensed, ready to spring, but I think he’s waiting for me to make the first move. I’m torn. Fighting the urge to side with the Guards and take Gavin down, and calculating what it’ll take to escape with Gavin, without killing anyone else. There’s only one way to go, and that’s back out the way we came in: the front door. There seems to be fewer Guards that way, which will make it easier for us. Chances are they sent the majority through the maintenance tunnels.

When someone gasps and a whisper rises up about the two forms lying broken in the living room, one lying in a pool of blood, I realize that’s my chance. I smile, but it’s more like baring my teeth.

Still, they don’t seem scared. I can change that, I think.

“Move,” I growl, startling them with the hate in my husky voice. I know what they’re thinking and I have every intention of playing on it. I don’t care what they think of me. I have nothing keeping me here anymore.

I growl again. And watch them jump. “Leave us.”

Even when I step forward, they don’t budge. They aren’t afraid of me. They’re watching Gavin. The manipulative Surface Dweller.

I shake my head, clearing the hateful thoughts from it. I’ll have to find some way to force them to move. I pull out the Reising from the bag, slam a magazine into it, and hold it to my shoulder.

The Guards tense, but still don’t move. One even snickers at me. “Hand over the gun, sweetheart,” he says, “before you hurt yourself.”

With narrowed eyes, I squeeze the trigger, releasing a spray of bullets into the ceiling.

Bits of concrete rain down on our heads and the Guards take a step away from me, pulling out their side arms and aiming them at me.

“Do you really think you worry me? Now get out of the way.”

They don’t move.

“I’d listen to her, if I were you,” Gavin says.

The Guard directly in front of us sneers. “Shut your mouth, Surface Dweller. Hiding behind a girl. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Gavin steps forward, but I don’t give him the chance. I aim the gun right at the Guard’s heart and squeeze the trigger.

The gun slams into my bad shoulder, but I don’t even feel it as I watch the bullet tear through the chest of the first Guard, then the one directly behind him.

There’s a look of shock on the first Guard’s face as he topples to the floor.

“Anyone else care to argue with me?” I ask, stepping forward.

The rest take a step back. With each step I take, they take another until finally our backs are toward the broken door. Gavin watches our exit over his shoulder as we back toward it. Just as we get to the opening, I reach into my bag and pull a grenade out of my pack.

I yank the pin out with my teeth and toss it directly at the remaining Guards. There’s no choice, we have to get away and we won’t be able to if they’re at our heels.

As soon as we clear the threshold, I spin around, then run through the hallways. The blast from the grenade blows out the doorway and slams us against the wall, knocking our breath from our bodies.

Before we even land, Gavin’s yanking me back up and pulling me down the hall. I have no idea where we’re going because I’ve let Gavin lead the way. I don’t even know where we could go. I’m hoping he’s thought of something, because my mind is suddenly blank. I don’t even realize I’m crying until the tears welling in my eyes blind me.

Voices follow us, and every once in a while someone stops us to ask if we need help. My heart trips each time, but Gavin keeps his head down and says, “Got caught in the turret malfunction by the Tube. I’m just taking her to the Medical Sector.”

Unfortunately a trio realizes we’re heading in the wrong direction, and tries to stop us from going farther. One of the women says, “That’s Miss Evelyn!”

Like before, the click sounds in my head, and everything but the people in front of me disappears.

I straighten and kick out with a leg, knocking the woman into the two men behind her. Before any of them can regain their footing, I’m on top of them. I yank the woman up by her arm as she tries to cower from me.

My plan is to break all three of their nosy necks, but when I glance at Gavin, he’s staring at me in horror. When he notices I’ve hesitated and I’m looking at him, he shakes his head.

I shove the woman off to the side and she hits the concrete wall and crumples to the ground. I watch her chest for a moment, confident she’s only knocked out when I see it rise and fall.

The other men are still trying to untangle themselves. I quickly bang their heads together. Their eyes cross, then they slump over each other.

There’s a crunch behind me and I whirl around and drop into a crouch, prepared to defend myself from whoever it is.

Gavin tosses his hands up. “Whoa. It’s just me.”

Again I’m filled with suspicion and hate directed toward Gavin.

After several tense moments, I force myself to drop my hands. I glance over to where the woman lays against the wall and it reminds me so much of Macie.… The next thing I know, I’m collapsing to the ground.

Gavin wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me up, then leads me down the street, glancing behind us every few steps. It surprises me we haven’t passed anyone since I attacked those people, but I’m not going to complain.

I don’t want to hurt anyone else. For Mother’s sake, I almost killed those three, and they’d just been unlucky enough to run into us.

Finally we get to a wall that looks familiar. But it isn’t until he presses a block and the wall swings open that I realize we’re back in Sector One. He shuts the door, but doesn’t stop. He follows the path we made just a few hours before and then forces me into the secret room.

After crawling into a corner, I curl into a ball and sob into my knees. Within moments he’s next to me, pulling me into his lap, much the same way I’d pulled Macie’s body into mine.

At first I fight him. How can he want to touch me after what I’ve done? After finding out what I really am? But he just holds me tighter to him and I give in, letting him gather me into his arms and then sobbing into his chest. Tears are useless. I know that. But I can’t help myself. Everything I thought about myself was wrong. I’m a monster.

To my relief, Gavin doesn’t say anything. None of those useless words people always use when they don’t know what to say. Instead, he just holds me tight and lets me cry myself dry. Finally the sobbing subsides, yet I cling to him. Despite the overwhelming exhaustion, not to mention the agony in my arm, I can’t bear to let him go.

It’s quiet in the room, the only sound the occasional hiss from the recyclers. Then I hear voices. I should have known our escape had been too easy. And with the mess I left, it’s not surprising they found us.

I stiffen and Gavin brushes my hair with his hand. “It’s okay,” he whispers.

I look up and place my finger over his lips. He narrows his eyes, then they widen and I know he’s heard the voices as well. We both crawl over to the small door.

“Are you sure they came in here?” a female voice asks. The sound of her voice brings a flood of memories and I recognize it as one of the friends I’d trained with. She’s an Elite Enforcer. I stare wide-eyed at Gavin. What have I done? Killing all those Guards … and now an Elite is after us. We’ll never escape.

“Well,” a male responds, “witnesses say they ran this way, and there’s nowhere else they could go. Besides, this is where they were earlier.”

“People see a lot of things.
I
don’t see anything,” the Enforcer says. “This trail is fresh, but you said they were here earlier. There isn’t any blood, and if she was covered in it, like you said, there’d be blood somewhere.”

“Then where do you suggest they went?”

“Probably into the tunnels. They could be anywhere now. Send your men to search.”

“What about you?”

“I’m going to search this place just to prove you’re wrong.”

There’s silence, then the scrape of shoes against the concrete, and he mutters, “Bitch.”

I’m sure she hears it, but she doesn’t respond. It’s entirely too quiet for my tastes. Then she mutters, “Come out, come out wherever you are!” There’s silence again and I dare not breathe, for fear she’ll hear it. “Now that you know what you are, where are you going to hide? Do you really think that Surface Dweller is going to accept you now that he knows?”

More silence. Then there’s another scrape and her shoes click against the concrete as she walks away. We wait, frozen in our spot, too afraid to move even a centimeter, until long after we hear the squeal of the hinges of the wall door. Then we sneak out and make our way back to the apartment we stayed in before, watching our backs the entire trip.

Gavin double and triple checks the apartment before securing the door.

I’m a mess, covered in blood and Mother knows what else, and I just want to wash everything away.

My feet drag and I know it’s not only the exhaustion that has finally caught up with me; it’s mind-numbing depression. Not only did I watch my best friend die while I did nothing, but then I went psychotic and killed her boyfriend.

I go straight to the shower, but sit on the floor of the stall and let the freezing water wash over me. I’m hoping the water will wake me up, but even when I’m completely clean and shivering, I still feel weighted down. The water soaks my bandage and burns the wound, but I can’t make myself get out. I just sit in the corner of the granite stall and bury my face in my hands. I’ve cried myself dry, but that doesn’t stop the sorrow.

Eventually, Gavin comes to check on me. He knocks at first, but I ignore it, hoping he’ll just go away. I should have known better, because when he receives no answer he pushes into the room. Then rushes across the bathroom, practically ripping the curtain from its hooks in his hurry to check on me.

His expression changes from worry to sadness when he sees me curled into the corner. He turns off the water with a flick of a wrist, then bundles me into a fluffy white—and dusty—towel and carries me into the bedroom. Then he starts chafing me with the towel, trying to rub warmth into my freezing body.

Even when I stop shivering, I still feel cold. I wonder if I’ll ever feel warm again.

“How are you feeling?” he asks after several minutes.

I jump. I hadn’t expected him to talk. “I don’t know,” I say. “She was my best friend. And she died because of me.”

“Not you. Never you. Mother. She’s the one who started this.”

“I’m an Enforcer,” I say without any emotion. “A monster.”

“No, Evie. Not a monster,” he says quietly.

“I killed those people. I’ve killed lots of people. All in the name of Mother’s ‘peace.’”

“Because Mother programmed you to do it. And Nick. Apparently.” He takes my chin in his hand and forces me to look at him. “You also saved me. And you tried to save Macie. You only killed the Guards in self-defense and you stopped yourself from killing the innocent people in the hallway. That’s not a monster.”

There’s nothing to say to that.

“You’re not afraid? Of me?” I ask finally, averting my eyes.

He waits until I look back up at him before he shakes his head and smiles at me. “No. Never.”

Gavin pulls me into his arms again and kisses me. Gently at first, then more aggressively. As if he can’t help himself. And the minute of panic fades as if it was never there. The kiss has the effect that nothing else has—it warms my blood and soothes my soul. I don’t want it to stop.

Winding my arms around his neck, I pull myself into his lap. I shiver when his mouth trails down my neck.

My hands impatiently race over his body. Every hard line and ripple. His body trembles as I splay my hands over his chest. He pulls me closer and deepens the kiss.

I lose myself along with my breath and my heart.

C
HAPTER
T
WENTY-TWO

Unauthorized coupling is punishable under the law and will be dealt with most severely.

—
C
ITIZEN’S
S
OCIAL
C
ODE,
V
OLUME
VI

When I wake, my face is pressed into a pillow and there’s a light flutter on the back of my neck. I swipe my hand at it and my fingers catch in my tangled hair. I suck air through my teeth, making a hissing sound when I yank a few of those hairs from my head.