Reuniting With the Rancher (6 page)

“Well,” she said after a moment, “I did offer her a room. I don’t want anyone to sleep in a car if I can avoid it. Since I’m not in love with her, dealing with her ought to be easier for me. I’ve met the type, if not the exact version.”

“You’re kindhearted,” he said. “You took her in so she wouldn’t have to sleep in a car?”

“Anyone would.”

“A stranger? But apart from that, don’t be so kindhearted that she takes advantage of you. And don’t let her know Martha left you any money, or she’ll find a way to wheedle something out of you.”

Holly laughed. She couldn’t help it. “News flash, Cliff. I’ve dealt with manipulative people before. The hardest part of being a social worker in the early days, aside from the horrors you see, is realizing that some of those cute, sweet kids you want to help are master manipulators. It’s survival and they learn it early.” She paused. “I take it Lisa didn’t grow up here?”

“No. She came to town with her parents. Her dad was a lawyer and he was working for some big development company.”

“The ones who have the sign outside town about the ski resort?”

“Yeah, the ski resort that’s never going to happen. Anyway, he was here about three months trying to work things out with the county and forest service. Long enough for me to get in serious trouble.”

“I wonder why she came to you instead of Daddy.”

“I haven’t a clue. Maybe he had enough of her, too.”

“Did she give you any idea of why she came here now?”

“Apparently she’s not only between jobs but between marriages.” He sighed. “I swear I’ll try to find another arrangement for her. I’d already told her she could stay for a few days with me. I figured that would give me time to sort something out.”

Holly felt a grin split her face. “Did you have to beg Jean?”

“Practically. Which reminds me, she sent over dinner for the two of you. She figured Lisa wouldn’t do anything about it and she thought it was a damn shame you should have to.”

“That’s really nice! I always thought Jean was a sweetheart.”

“She is. She was also a good friend of Martha’s.”

They started walking back toward the house and Holly couldn’t resist saying, “I guess Martha left out all the good gossip.”

“Martha never gossiped,” he said drily. “It’s probably why she had so many friends all her life. Listen, call me if Lisa gets to be too much.”

“What can you do?”

“Throw her over my shoulder and carry her out of here? Hell, I don’t know. Just don’t let her get around your kindness again. She’s a taker, Holly. Not a giver like you.”

Which, when she thought about it, was probably the nicest thing he’d said to her since she had returned. Maybe they’d get over the hump after all.

But as she watched him walk to his truck to pull out a cooler, she knew there was one hump she wasn’t going to get over. She still wanted that man. She wanted him as much as she had from the first all those years ago. The sight of his narrow hips cased in denim as he walked away from her was enough to bring back memories of touching and holding him. Feeling him fill her, feeling...

“He’s not worth mooning over,” Lisa said. “He’s not a very nice person.”

Holly had to resist an urge to snap at her. “It hardly matters,” she said quietly. “I’m going home in ten days. Like I told you.”

The words were true, but a different truth seemed to impact her heart. She wasn’t quite as eager to get away from Cliff as she had been even this morning.

That realization disturbed her more than Lisa’s presence.

Then Cliff astonished her out of her thoughts. “I’m staying for dinner,” he announced as he walked toward them with the cooler. “Jean sent plenty.”

“Why?” Lisa demanded. “You think your friend here needs protection? Funny, I never saw you as a watchdog.”

“No, just a lapdog,” Cliff said as he passed her. Then, where Lisa couldn’t see, he winked at Holly. “And by the way, my friend has a name. It’s Holly.”

Oh, man,
Holly thought as she followed him into the house. This was going to be an interesting evening.

* * *

Lisa finally carried her own bags up the stairs. Holly was surprised at how small they were, not the kind of thing any healthy young woman should need help with. Clearly Lisa didn’t need the help, because she didn’t have the least struggle getting them upstairs all by herself.

Shrugging inwardly, she followed Cliff to the kitchen. He unloaded the contents of the ice chest. “There’s enough in here for a few days. I’ll take you to the grocery tomorrow if you like.”

“I can find my way.”

He paused and looked at her. “Do you ever let anyone help you?”

“You helped me with the tree.”

“Because I didn’t let you escape it. I want to help. I could help with a whole lot around here. Including my ex.”

Holly couldn’t help an almost furtive giggle. “She’s really got you on edge.”

“I’m more on edge because she’s here with you. Bad enough having Jean put up with her, but Jean has experience. You have no idea about Lisa.”

“So what should I expect?”

“Lisa doesn’t cook, doesn’t clean, doesn’t pick up after herself, doesn’t do laundry... In fact, all she likes to do is ride horses. Crap, I guess that means I’ll deal with her every day anyway.”

“She’ll come to borrow a horse?”

“Probably. It’d be nice if she would take care of them, too.”

A short silence fell as they put food away. Fried chicken. Potato salad. A whole host of filling foods, almost enough for an army. From above they heard some banging around.

“I guess she
does
unpack,” Holly remarked.

Cliff paused then broke into a hearty laugh. “Evidently. Although not cheerfully.”

He surprised her by reaching for her hand and holding it. Holly almost jerked from the electric zap that ran straight to her core. Oh, damn, she didn’t want this. Or maybe she wanted it, but she didn’t need it.

Cliff spoke. “I wish she hadn’t come here. Maybe she can behave reasonably well for a few days. She used to know how, but that all depends on what she thinks she can get out of it. Now that she’s got a room, she might not care what you think of her. I don’t know.”

“I’ve dealt with worse,” she assured him.

His turquoise eyes held hers. “I guess you have. Did you give any more thought to having some of your kids out here?”

He dropped her hand, leaving her feeling bereft. Even that simple touch reminded her of how much she had given up when she left him to pursue her dream.

“Actually, I have.” She had to clear her throat, as it felt oddly tight. “I’d just begun to consider it after what you said. Of course, there are a million hurdles, but I could see it in my mind’s eye.” She heard the growing excitement in her own voice. “It could be so great.”

He put the lid back on the ice chest and set it near the door. “I hear a
but
in there.”

“I think I need to talk to a friend of mine, Laurie. She’s a child psychologist.”

“Why? What worries you?”

She met his gaze, feeling her smile fade. “Taking those kids and showing them life out here, then throwing them back onto the same city streets? I’m not sure it would be good in every case.”

“Don’t some of these kids already go to camps of different kinds?”

“Some do. I just need to get advice on the right way to do it so that it’s helpful, not harmful.”

“Makes sense. It’s something that never would have occurred to me. I guess that’s why you’re the social worker. I was just thinking how great it would be for kids in the city to spend some time on a minifarm.”

“Oh, it would!” She felt her excitement return. “I could see having a vegetable garden, maybe a few sheep or goats, bunkhouses for them. But I’d have to come up with a whole raft of confidence-building ideas for them, maybe get some trained counselors to participate...but that’s the end idea, the big idea. First I think I’d have to start pretty small.”

She was bubbling again with the ideas that had been percolating before Lisa had showed up. “Maybe I’ll have them stay for the entire summer break.”

“That might be good. And don’t give up on winter. We have Nordic skiing, sledding and ice-skating. Hell, I could make you a skating rink out back over the garden plot. And there’s a new guy up north of here. He bought out the old Olmstead place and is running sled-dog trips over the winter. I bet you could get him interested, and he might even like some helping hands from time to time.”

Her eagerness was growing by leaps. It always helped to find that someone else thought an idea was good. “Really? You’d help?”

“Of course I would.”

Lisa’s voice startled them both. “Of course he’ll help,” she said with acid in her voice. “He’s quick to promise and quick to change his mind.”

Whatever she might have thought of Cliff in the past, in that instant Holly’s heart went out to him. She saw his face tighten, saw his brilliant eyes darken. He appeared all too much like a man taking another lash from a familiar whip.

Before he could respond, Holly turned to Lisa. “I don’t remember including you in this discussion. How about we have some ground rules if you want to stay here? First, you look after yourself. Second, if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it.”

“Or what?” Lisa demanded.

“Or I’ll throw you out.”

Lisa rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right.”

“Listen,” Holly said calmly, “I’ve dealt with a lot worse than you. This is
my
house, so it’s
my
rules. Live by them or leave. And yes, I can throw you out. Easily.”

Lisa glared, then flounced out the front door, slamming it behind her.

“Bravo,” Cliff said quietly.

“She’s actually quite breathtaking,” Holly admitted. “She doesn’t know me, but she’s carrying on like this. And no, I’m not going to ask.”

“Ask away. The answer is no, she wasn’t this petulant when we were dating. So she
does
know how to behave.”

“Only when she wants something, evidently. I guess she really does believe I won’t throw her out, so she has all she wants from me.”

“Damn, Holly. I don’t want you to have to put up with this. I swear I’m going to find another solution.”

“It’s just ten days. I’ve dealt with worse, believe me. We’ll either jolt along or she can clear out.”

His frown darkened his whole face; he looked as if he wanted to say something, but chose not to. Finally he asked, “So is it all right if I stay for dinner? I can take some of the load off you.”

“It’s up to you.” The truth was, she wanted him to stay. Funny how she’d changed her perspective so fast, at least when it came to Cliff. But even as she was trying to act casual about it, she wondered why. Was that any way to respond to a courteous offer? Or was she just so damned determined to be independent that she could be unintentionally rude? It was possible. Life had toughened her quite a bit out of necessity. She wrapped her heart up to keep the pain at a distance, to avoid being used.

“I’d like you to stay,” she said quickly. “Really. But from what I’ve seen, that’s a lot to ask.”

He surprised her with a short laugh. “I’ve dealt with her before. I was prepared to deal with her for a few days. I can’t imagine why she came hotfooting over here. She didn’t need to.”

Holly tilted her head. “You’re right.”

“So that leaves me wondering what she’s really up to.”

“Maybe it was spur of the moment when she saw me.”

Cliff shrugged. “I guess anything’s possible. I’ll never understand her, that’s for sure. I can often predict her, but I don’t understand her.”

That, thought Holly, was probably the most succinct description she’d ever heard of a problematic relationship, and a good measure of what Cliff had been through.

She actually felt sorry for him.

Chapter Five

H
olly asked if they should wait for Lisa. Cliff rebelled immediately. He supposed he wasn’t presenting himself in the best light, but too bad. Holly didn’t care about him anyway. As for Lisa, his answer was simple: “Best to start the way you mean to continue. You’ve got plenty to do over the time you have left. I’ll be glad to help as much as I can. But don’t start treating Lisa like a guest or you’ll regret it. If I’d had any idea, I wouldn’t have been such a pushover in the early days.”

He caught the twinkle in her eye. Was she warming to him? When he was acting like an ungentlemanly jerk? He had the worst urge to just sweep her into a hug and kiss her until she was breathless. The way he once had. But look where that had gotten him.

“You? A pushover?” She gave him a gentle shove on the shoulder with her palm. “Okay, then. Let’s just fill our own plates. It was so nice of Jean to think of this.”

“I think Jean was feeling a great deal of sympathy for you.”

“So she really did mutiny?”

“Believe it.” He found the plates in the cupboard, still where Martha kept them, and pulled them out while Holly got silverware. “I’ve never seen her as furious as she was the day she decided she had had enough. She followed me into my office at the end of the day and let fly. Honestly, she’d been keeping so much to herself that I had no idea how bad it had gotten.”

“But you’d already had some of your men leave, right?”

“Oh, yeah. They weren’t paid to carry shopping bags, or plant flowers she bought, or... Well, it was a pretty long list, all of it full of things I hadn’t hired them to do. So they left, one after another, as soon as they found other work. Meanwhile, I was going nuts with the bank, the money and all the rest. They didn’t want to be personal servants and I didn’t want to lose the ranch. Then Jean.”

“What did she say?”

“That she couldn’t stand watching me be treated this way. That was her major thing, I guess.”

“I can understand that.” They sat at the table with plates of fried chicken, potato salad and glasses of iced tea.

“But there was other stuff, too, little stuff that must have been chapping her for a while. Having to pick up wet towels and dirty clothes in the bathroom and bedroom. Dirty dishes and cups left all over the house. Cleaning up spills. Ironing whatever Lisa wanted to wear at that moment. The list went on. I don’t even remember it all. The main thing that struck me was her insistence that she couldn’t stand to watch Lisa take advantage of me, and that she’d have to leave if things didn’t change.”

Holly paused as she put her fork into the potato salad on her plate. “I’m sorry. It must have hurt to hear all that.”

“I was past being hurt. I was mad most of the time. I knew something had to give, but I’d said those vows, you know.”

Holly nodded. He thought she looked pained. For him? The idea shocked him. “I’ve watched plenty of people break up over less,” she said slowly. “But I’ll say again, her behavior was abusive.”

“Maybe so. But now it’s in your house. Damn it.”

As they ate, he wondered how the hell this had happened. He had told Lisa she could stay for a few days until he figured something else. What had caused her to move in on Holly?

He had a thought that caused him to pause in midbite. “You,” he said.

“Me what?”

“She said she came over here looking for Martha. But what if she’d heard something about the two of us?”

“I thought we were pretty secretive.” She colored faintly. “I’d have sworn nobody knew but Martha, and maybe Jean.”

“Martha never missed a thing. But what if somebody else had mentioned how close we were that summer?”

“It’s possible. I mean, we did go out a few times with your friends.”

“So she could have guessed.”

Holly nodded. “Still...”

“What if she said something to Jean about staying with Martha? It’d be just like Jean to tell her to forget that, because Martha had passed and you owned the house now.”

He watched Holly’s eyes widen. “It would fit her pattern of trying to keep you away from your friends.”

“Her pattern of trying to spread nastiness about me.”

“Either way.” Holly resumed eating. He realized that he was sitting there staring at her as if he was moonstruck. He’d better stop it. That time had come and gone.

He finished a few more mouthfuls of chicken, then asked, “What makes people act that way?”

“I can’t be certain about Lisa because I just met her. But generally speaking, I think a lot of them must be control freaks. Extreme control freaks. She wanted you cut off so you had no support system. She wanted everyone else to do her bidding and if they left, so much the better for her, because then she’d have total control.”

“I wasn’t going to cook or clean for her.”

“No, but if Jean left, she could hire someone and then she’d have control. She couldn’t completely control Jean because she knew you’d never get rid of her. So she sought other ways of getting rid of her.”

“Crap.”

“I’m just guessing,” Holly said. “I’ve had some psychology training, obviously, and this is also based on my observations of abusive relationships.”

“I guess you’ve seen more than a few.”

“I have. Trying to convince someone to get out of a relationship like that can be difficult, because the victim is steadily trained to feel responsible for everything that displeases the abuser. I guess you were strong enough to withstand it for two years.”

“I’d have been stronger if I’d gotten rid of her sooner.”

She astonished him by putting her fork down and reaching across the table to clasp his hand. “Love is a dangerous thing,” she said quietly. “All of us begin with a huge desire to please the one we love. If one of the parties is unscrupulous, the other one can wind up in trouble. I don’t think you were weak. Far from it. You got mad and got out. Congratulations.”

He turned his hand over to clasp hers and their eyes met. She had such beautiful blue eyes, he thought. The years had thinned her too much, but she was still every bit as gorgeous as she had been a decade ago when he had believed the only thing he wanted in life was a future with Holly.

Looking into her eyes, he had that impulse again. His entire body began to sizzle, and he felt his groin grow heavy with desire. Her eyes darkened and he recognized her response to him. She still wanted him, too.

Before he could remind himself there was no future in it, a sarcastic voice said from the kitchen doorway, “My, isn’t this cozy.”

Holly snapped her hand back as if she’d been scalded. Cliff felt the surge of an old, familiar anger. Right then he’d have loved nothing more than to carry that woman out to her car, throw her clothes in after her and tell her to get lost for good.

“I don’t get invited to dinner?” Lisa asked. “What a rude way to treat a guest.”

Cliff stood and faced her. “You’re not a guest here. You’re a stray that a kind lady offered to take in for a few days. She could change her mind and I wouldn’t blame her. So find your own food in the fridge and feed yourself. You can do at least that much on your own, can’t you?”

He turned back to Holly and was surprised to see a faint smile dancing around the corners of her mouth. “Would you like to take a walk and finish eating later when the company is more pleasant?”

Holly rose instantly. “I’d love to.” Her smile became visible.

Cliff held out his hand and to his amazement, she took it. They grabbed jackets from the mudroom, because spring evenings cooled down quite a bit, and stepped out back.

“I’m sorry,” he said when they’d left the house a few yards behind. “I probably just made it worse for you.”

She shook her head. “It’s okay. I’ve dealt with tougher nuts. Gang members. Street fighters. Men who were pummeling their wives or kids. She doesn’t scare me.”

He took her hand again, squeezing her fingers. “I can’t imagine what you’ve seen or been through.”

“Good. Not everyone needs to. So, if Lisa hadn’t turned up, it would have been nice to use you as a sounding board about this camp idea.”

“We can do that anyway. Maybe if we ignore her enough, she’ll leave. You know what occurred to me today as I was working? Before Lisa arrived, anyway.”

“What’s that?”

He drew a deep breath, preparing for any kind of response, and said, “I’d have loved to take you riding, visit some of our old haunts.”

He half expected her to get angry for bringing up that long-ago summer. Especially when he’d initially been so cold to her when she returned.

He heard her sigh. “Cliff, you can’t go back in time.”

“I know that. But we had a wonderful summer and sometimes I go to our places and just remember it. Good memories are rare enough in this life.”

She stopped walking and faced him. “Really? You do that?”

“There’s only one part of it that wasn’t good. Why the hell would I want to forget?”

She looked down at her feet. “I try hard not to, but sometimes I think about it, too,” she admitted quietly. “On nights when I start to feel worn-out or burned-out. I’m not complaining, mind you. I chose the life I needed, and I’m sorry my choice hurt you, but yeah, sometimes I remember. I was happier then than I’ve ever been.”

He supposed he could be content knowing that. His memories weren’t addled. “Me, too,” he said quietly. “Me, too.”

Another look passed between them, this one almost smoldering. It was a fire they couldn’t douse with Lisa in the house nearby, and now he had a new reason to curse his ex. On the other hand, it was probably best that they couldn’t. She intended to go back to her job. Neither of them needed a repeat of the summer long ago, and sex wasn’t enough. It was never enough.

He was just getting to know this Holly. Best not to muddle things any more than they already were.

He dragged his gaze away, and they walked farther along the fence line. “These leases...” he said.

“Yours, you mean?”

“Yeah. If you need more room, you could use some of the land. I don’t need every square inch of it. But I do need most of it. It’s allowed me to expand my operation because of the added grazing. The ranch is actually turning a profit, not an easy thing to do these days. But you’re talking about bunkhouses and things like that. You might need more room.”

“That’s a long way down the road,” she answered. “But that’s a generous offer. Thank you.”

“It might not be as far down the road as you think. We could transform this place pretty fast. The main thing you need to do is figure out what you need.”

“And figure out the red tape.”

He was glad to see her brightening again. He wanted to know more about her life in Chicago, about the things that had brought her here looking so worn, but he didn’t feel he had the right to get so personal. Not yet, maybe never.

Ten days, he reminded himself. She was leaving in ten days. She kept mentioning it, maybe as a warning. Evidently she didn’t want to repeat the mistakes of their long-ago summer romance.

Except, much as it had hurt him in the end, he just couldn’t think of it as a mistake. But maybe it had been for her. She hadn’t accepted his offer to visit some of their old haunts, even though she’d admitted to treasuring at least some of the memories.

Maybe for her it hadn’t meant what it had meant for him at the time. Maybe her heart hadn’t been in it. Maybe for her it had been just a fling.

The thought soured his mouth and stomach.
Be smart,
he told himself.
Keep your guard up.
It was possible to be helpful without going any further.

Maybe for once in his life it was time not to throw his entire being into something. For sure, the only thing he gave his all to that had never betrayed him was his ranch.

It would be wise to remember that.

* * *

Cliff headed out an hour later with a handwritten thank-you note from Holly for Jean. She stood in the doorway watching him drive away, feeling as if something really important had happened, as if the ground beneath her feet had shifted in some way.

She had certainly seen a side of Cliff she’d never imagined. He had survived a poisonous relationship; he seemed firmer and steadier than she remembered him being. He had certainly grown up well. And he had evidently turned into a protector. Imagine him spending all this time here just to try to keep Lisa in line. That had to have been uncomfortable for him, even after all these years.

Her attraction to him hadn’t faded one little bit, either. Maybe he was even more attractive now. It was pointless to give in to it, but considering she hadn’t felt any attraction to a man since she was attacked last year, it was good to know she still could respond this way.

“How do I get wash done?”

Holly turned slowly, closing the door on the night and preparing to deal with Lisa. “Laundry?”

“That’s what I said.”

“Well,” Holly said slowly, “there are machines at the back of the house. Help yourself. If you want someone to do it for you, I think there’s a laundry in town where they charge by the load for washing, drying and folding. I’m not sure they also do ironing.”

Lisa frowned.

Holly smiled politely, then headed for the living room. She needed to find something to read, a wall to put up between her and this woman. She had a feeling she was going to regret taking Lisa in more than she had ever regretted providing shelter to someone in trouble numerous times in the past.

Lisa wasn’t really in trouble. She
was
trouble.

Unfortunately, the woman followed her into the living room. “I can’t afford to pay someone to do my wash.”

“Like I said, there are machines in the back of the house.” Holly sat in her aunt’s rocker and reached for a magazine. Something about embroidery. She’d never had time for that.

“I’ll need help,” Lisa said.

Holly looked up. “Really? You don’t know how to do laundry? I’ve worked with
children
who do laundry for their entire families.”

“You’re mean.”

“If I were mean, you wouldn’t be staying here.” Holly returned her attention to the magazine.

But Lisa wasn’t ready to go away. “I saw how you looked at Cliff. You have the hots for him.” She sat on the sofa facing Holly.