Road To Whatever (Perfect For Me Book 1) (9 page)

“Yeah, I got you man. Thanks.” I can feel my jaw working as Mitch’s words really sink in.

I don’t want to make Kitty unhappy, if anything I want to make her happy again. Make her forget about that douche and put that pretty smile back on her face. I want her to smile at me the way I see her smile at Crush when no one else is paying attention to them. She doesn’t even notice the way she smiles at him. I want that so bad it hurts.

“Hey Guys,” Kitty chimes just as my mind starts to fill with her. “Sorry I took so long. Storm is loading my bike now.” The guys raise their beers to her and nod.

“You’re good babe,” Crushed smiles. “Want a beer?”

“Sure,” she smiles back sending that pain through my chest once again.

I hop off my stool and place a hand on her waist turning her to me. I lean down to push my forehead to hers just like I saw her with Crush wishing it was me. Kitty takes in a sharp breath in surprise. I step closer to her and pull her to me.

“Kitty,” I say and lick my lips.

“Yes,” she breathes.

“Do you want Chris?” it was the only thing I could think of. I need to know. Before I make her mine I have to know.

“No, he’s just my friend,” she answers exasperated and pushes out of my hold as if clearing her head. “Not that it is any of your business. Maybe you should slow down, get your head in the game, Rage.” She bites out, throwing my words from the first night I met her back in my face.

I feel the sting in my chest. This is not going to be as simple as just talking to her. I can see in her face she has thrown up a wall when it comes to me. I am going to have to earn my girl’s trust again.
Two months is more than enough to do so
, I think to myself.
You’ll have her on the bus all to yourself in no time
.

I smile to myself. Mitch is right anything has to be better than the way things have been between the two of us. Nothing can stop me now, I’ll have my Kitty. I can’t help the smug smirk on my face as I watch her ignore me while she talks to Sleep. She looks so hot tonight. I just want to bury my face in her neck and tell her what she means to me. But I will soon enough when I get her on that bus and she has nowhere to go. I am in Nirvana.

“Hey, Kit,” and with that voice it all goes to shit.

~B~

I stiffen at the sound of his voice. I was so busy stewing over Rage and his stupid accusation that I hadn’t notice him and Mandy come into the bar. But I would know that voice as it booms over the crowd and music anywhere. I almost sag in tears before turning around to look up at the most handsome face smiling down at me. The handsome face that I still can not feel more than friendship for.

“Linc,” I gasp as a tear rolls down my cheek.

“Hey babe,” he grins tightly. “Missed you.”

I bite back a sob and lunge at him. Linc catches me in his arms and holds me tight to his chest. I hug him so tight I am sure I am cutting off his air supply but I am afraid if I let go he will disappear. I breathe him in and squeeze a little tighter.

“So what took you so long you jerk,” I cry into his shoulder as he holds me tight to his chest.

“I’m sorry baby,” he murmurs in my ear, he kisses my shoulder then sets me back down on my feet.

The moment my heels touched the ground I feel a hard chest push up to my back. I shudder knowing it is Rage just by feeling the tension coming off of him. It occurs to me that Rage has tried to kill two guys for just touching my arm or my fingers. Just to think I have actually cried on his shoulder over Linc before.

Linc has just had a lot more contact than a touch and I already know that Rage is in one of his over protective possessive moods that have been driving me crazy for the past month. This is not the best way to start an evening or a reunion.

Instinctively Rage wraps me in his arms. I peek up at Linc to see a pained and angry look on his face as he stares at Rage’s arms locked around me. I am at a loss for words. I craned my neck to look up at Rage and he is staring right back at Linc with a murderous look of his own. Suddenly the space is getting really small.

“You okay?” Rage asks against my ear.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I hiss and wiggle free of his hold.

“Hey Linc, let’s go get a beer,” Mandy chimes in. “You guys better get to the stage Cindy is giving the signal.”

Linc nods tight lipped at Mandy and turns for the bar. I watch them walk away but I can feel Rage still at my back staring down at me. What is his deal tonight? So much for hoping things would get better.

I turn to look up at him and he is giving me a pained expression that I just don’t understand. Before I can ask him what the hell is wrong with him he reaches for a curl of my hair and lets it slip through his fingertips not once taking his eyes off my face. Too my surprise he reaches for my hand and leads me to the stage.

I officially feel like I am in the twilight zone. I let him gently pull me toward the stage, totally confused on what he is doing or why. Rage hasn’t been this way with me in weeks. Not that I want him to be. Rage is not for me. I learned that the first night he took home that groupie. He is no better than Linc.

I mean nothing more to him than an opportunity at having a shot for a deal for his band. Our time together was just to create chemistry. Just the thought makes me stop in my tracks to rip my hand free. I’ll give him his chemistry on stage, but his touch means nothing to me outside of the performance we put on for the crowd. At least that’s what I try to tell myself.

CHAPTER Nine

T
his is the most unreal night of my life. I finally get the go ahead to go after my girl and now I feel like she is slipping through my fingers. She totally forgot all about me just at the sight of that douchebag. I want to break his jaw and tell him to stay the hell away from my girl, but the way her face lit up and the way she held on to him like her world would fall apart without him crushed me.

Now I’m so confused. I know I will be on tour with her and I can fix what I have done but I don’t know if she is going to have thoughts of him in the back of her mind for the next two months. I know she is still pissed at me. At first she responded to me completely when I touched her. I had her. I felt it. Then I asked about Crush. Then when I reached for her hand and led her toward the stage she was with me. It felt so right, but something changed in a split second. Could it be her feelings for him?

I know nothing about their relationship. Only that he ditched her for two months. Kitty has cried about missing him but never told me why he disappeared in the first place. I never got a chance to ask Kitty about any of that because I was being such a big jerk about everything. Now I know Kitty will rip me to shreds if she is in love with this guy. I can’t handle that, not when I finally feel like I can make her mine.

Watching her step out on stage causes a pain to rocket through my chest so hard I have to take a step back. I have no idea when it happened but I have started to fall for this girl and she completely owns my heart whether she knows it or not. I want to smash something to get rid of this hurt.

This is so twisted. I don’t want to lose my chance to get my girl. I feel so disconnected as I watch her smile out at the crowd greeting them and getting them amped up. When I first saw her tonight I didn’t think I could ever see anything so sexy, but now looking at her in her element, charged up by the crowd. Kitty is so amazing.

I know I am not going to lose her sitting down. I am going to fight for my girl. With that thought the first song starts and I play the intro and walk right up to Kitty. I lean down and kiss her on the cheek, the crowd goes nuts and I look down at her smiling like a geek.

The crowd here has watched us for the last three weeks giving off all types of sexual energy, that kiss just fueled the rumors. Kitty looks up at me forcing a smile, but raises a brow at me before she turns back to the crowd and gives them a show they will never forget.

We played our hearts out tonight. It was the perfect performance to kick off the tour. I could feel everyone getting into the zone for the weeks ahead of us and it felt right. Kitty had looked over at me with that perfect smile a few times during the set. I hope that’s a sign I have a chance and this was more than the show we’ve been putting on for the last four weeks. I can see Linc sitting at our table with Mandy and I am wishing that for once my sister would get a clue and get rid of the guy before he ruins my perfect world.

It is time for the final song and it is the one Crush and Kitty wrote together about that douche. I have to admit a part of me feels the sting of jealousy. I am not sure performing a song written for or about this jerk sits well with me. I am having a hard time hiding the grimace on my face as I strum the first chords.

It’s a ballad so Kitty sits on a stool while Mitch fixes her mic. It will be the first time she has played guitar with the band during a live performance and we are all amped about it. Crush was right she can really play and we happen to play really well together, like everything else we do perfect together.

I watch as Kitty starts to play and the room seems to fall silent. She starts to sing and I can see she has the room pulled in; even the douche is sitting forward leaning toward her.

Just hear me out just listen

I know there’s something you’ve been missing

And you believe it’s me… you want it to be me

I know that I am selfish

All you want is my kiss

But I don’t know what to do… I can’t love you like I need to

So you’re freeeeee

Free to live your life, free to be loved right

Free to find the right one, free to say you’re done

I know you deserve better

I know you deserve for us to be together

But I can’t give you what you deserve, I’m just grating at your nerves

But I can free you

You’re free to love again, you’re free from holding my hand

So you’re freeeeee

Free to live your life, free to be loved right

Free to find the right one, free to say you’re done

I want you to be free

Kitty starts into her amazing guitar solo and I watch the whole crowd sway as she plays her heart out. I can see Linc’s face compress as the words sink in and the tightness I felt in my heart since I saw my girl wrapped in his arms washes away. We have rehearsed this song a million times but I never listened to the words and understood what she was telling him until right now. I was always too pissed off that she had written a song for him to really hear her words.

I sort of feel bad for him for a second. I have fallen for this amazing, funny, talented, and beautiful girl in just two months and here he had so much history with her and he is watching her slip through his fingers just like I thought I was not too long ago. It hits me that I never want to be in his shoes. I’d do anything to make sure Kitty never has to sing me a goodbye.

~B~

I think actually performing this song out loud for Linc is the hardest thing I ever had to do besides going to my parents’ funeral. Although, I am so glad I’ve done this before I leave, this will give us time apart to heal and maybe someday I can have my friend back. I can see the pain on his face as I sing my goodbye. It will take time for us to be okay again, but I feel like a weight is being lifted. I communicated my feelings the way I know best.

As we finish the set I take off my guitar and take the towel Crush hands me as he pulls me into a hug. We worked hard to get that song perfect and I think we came pretty close tonight. We all push our way off stage and back to the bands table while people around us are congratulating us on going out on tour.

“Hey,” I beam up at Linc.

He swallows hard and looks me in the eyes. “Hey babe,” he says, voice thick with emotion.

“We okay?” I ask nervously.

“We will be,” Linc smiles.

“You guys were great,” Mandy squeals. “This tour is going to be awesome.”

“I know,” I gush.

“You were great baby,” Rage croons in my ear as he wraps his arms around me.

And this is the part of tonight that I just may not be able to handle. I could deal when Rage was ignoring me but this attention he is suddenly giving me tonight is frustrating and confusing. One minute he acts like I don’t exist and now he is just being plain weird. The kiss on stage, though it was only on the cheek, almost fried my brain. We have been pretending on stage but we never touch each other not like that.

I don’t know what changed when I got here tonight. I was not expecting Rage to talk to me least of all get in my personal space as much as he has tonight. I just know I am not open to being hurt and Rage has neon signs all around him that says he will hurt me.

“You were pretty awesome yourself,” I smile as I look up at him, not able to hide my confusion.

“Storm and Tommy want to hit the road so we sort of need to breakdown and load up,” Mandy announces as she wrings her hands and bites her lip.

I know we are all nervous about what’s to come but she seems to be extra nervous right now. It is so unlike her. I start to call her on it but Rage distracts me by kissing my shoulder.

“We’ll handle the equipment. Why don’t you go shower on the bus before the guys get on,” Rage whispers against my ear. My mouth falls open as I stare up at him.

I tense a little taking a step back from him. He just watches me cautiously with a grin playing across his lips. Oh this is just great. If Rage thinks he is going to get me to be some type of hook up buddy for the tour he is out of his flipping mind. I narrow my eyes at him and ball my fists at my sides.

“What babe,” Rage says as he watches my reaction. “I just thought you would want the privacy before you lose it for the next two months.”

“Yeah, um, sure,” I murmur. A month ago I would not have minded the way he is acting and it may not have raised a brow, but that was before the cold shoulder and the overprotective brother act.

“Cool,” he smiles. “Mandy, what happened to the roadie you were supposed to be getting. We can use a hand with this stuff. Where is he?”

“Um, that’s kind of what I need to tell you guys. He’s right here,” Mandy says with a little laugh as she points to Linc.

I think my world literally starts to spin. I look at Mandy with my mouth half open as I let her words sink in. This cannot be happening. What is she thinking? I look at Linc and he gives me an uncomfortable smile.

“What?” I squawk out.

“You have got to be kidding me, Mandy,” Rage growls.

“I thought… you know…you were so sad Kitty…I went to talk to Linc about everything and I told him about the tour and how we needed a roadie. We thought it would be fun like old times and you two could make up.”

“Look Kit, I thought we could make up for the two months we lost. I really am sorry about being a jerk. I thought time on the open road, on our bikes and some music would get us back to us,” Linc smiles impishly.

What do I say to that? This is my best friend but I can feel my blood boiling. The point of tonight was to say goodbye and have time of my own to heal and to let go. Now Linc will be in my face for two months. Then there is Rage. I can feel his body vibrating with anger. Trust me, it is not a secret that Rage is not a fan of Linc’s, which is partly my doing. I am going to kill Mandy. How could she do this to me?

“No way bro, not gonna happen,” Rage growls. “Fix this shit Mandy.”

“But I can’t fix it. His bike is loaded with everyone else’s already and it’s too late to find someone now,” Mandy whines.

“I knew you were up to something. I knew it,” Rage rumbles.

“Well if I told Kitty she would have said no and I – I wanted them to fix things and if I told you, you would have made this about the band,” Mandy stutters.

This is way too much to deal with. I just want it to be over with. Linc looks annoyed and pissed as he narrows his eyes at Rage. I just want to feel safe and secure the way Linc used to make me feel. Right now the warmth coming off Rage is sort of inviting in a weird way but I am not going there. However the second Rage puts a possessive hand on my waist and leans toward me, makes me instinctively lean into him.

“Listen dude, you are not my favorite person in the world right now either,” Linc starts causing more tension to radiate from Rage. “But I can help. Mandy said you guys needed someone with the experience but not the price tag. Kitty knows I’ve done this a few summers and from what I saw tonight and the gigs Mandy mentioned you will possibly need the extra muscle to keep Kitty safe. You guys are pulling larger crowds if you haven’t noticed. I’ll do anything for Kit so the price is right.”

“That’s the problem,” Rage hisses under his breath so low I almost don’t hear. What is that about?

I sigh, Linc is right. He grew up around the business as much as I did. My dad had taken him under his wing and let him work for friends. He would be a great help. This summer just went down the toilet, but it is too late now.

“Listen, what’s done is done. Storm and Tommy will be pissed if we don’t get moving. We’ll just be one big happy family, right,” I smile halfheartedly.

“Sure, one big happy family,” Linc says through a tight smile.

“You know, I should have known you’d say that,” Rage hisses and lets go of me before turning to storm off. I feel cold at the loss of his hand on me and wrap my arms around my middle. Oh yes, being around Rage is more dangerous than I like to admit to myself.

“You know how to pick ‘em,” Linc murmurs and pushes past me to go help with loading the gear on the bus. I am a little thrown by that remark. What exactly does Linc think is going on between Rage and me?

“This is going to suck. You know that, right?” I glare at Mandy who is wringing her hands again.

“I’m so sorry Kitty, I really didn’t know. You have been so upset and I never thought …I didn’t know,” Mandy sighs with her head down.

“Well it is done now and we are about to spend two months on a bus with five guys so how about we hit the shower before it is too gross to step foot in,” I throw an arm around Mandy’s shoulders and steer her toward the door.

One thing good came out of all this. Whether I want or not all the people I care about will be along for this journey. Now if we can all get along that would be great,
and monkeys fly side by side when sleep
. I peek over my shoulder to see Rage and Linc working together but with their backs to each other. Mitch is next to Rage whispering something in his ear. I hope whatever it is will keep this whole trip from turning into a nightmare.