Rotten (12 page)

“Oh, can’t forget the
in bed
part. Let me see what mine says.” Snapping open the tan cookie, I ate it before flipping over the small piece of paper. It was a small quirk I had picked up one point for some unknown reason.

“Your choices will change the world...in bed.” I chucked the paper in the drink console between our seats and shrugged.

“Those are some pretty heavy fortunes. I wonder what happened to the ones that just said that you will be lucky next week.”

Nodding in agreement, I picked up the fortune again and rubbed it with my fingers. “No shit.”

For being cheesy tokens, they seemed to be pretty accurate. Rather than putting it back in the console, I shoved it into my pocket to keep as a memento. Talking to Erin made me acknowledge what I already knew. This was only temporary.

The scorching March sun gave no relief during daylight hours. Any rain that passed through evaporated before hitting the ground. Without the swamp coolers running, the house often felt claustrophobic at times. It was nearly ready for repair. All of the debris had been cleared. The furniture that was salvageable was in the garage, and the dingy shag carpet had been ripped out with the sub floor being prepped for the tiles I had picked out the week before. Sitting on the front porch, I used my forearm to wipe my brow of the sweat that never seemed to cease pouring.

“Toni, let’s take a break. It’s a perfect time for me to take you somewhere.”

Looking up under a hand that created shade from the harsh light, I shrugged my shoulders and stood up. “Okay, let’s go, captain.”

We crawled into the GT where I took a whiff of my armpit and cringed. Making a fake cough, I lifted my arm and fanned it with the other hand. “Smell my funky greatness.”

“Wow, you are such a lady.”

David rolled down the windows, and the hot, desert air whipped around us loudly. We both laughed while heading back into town.

“Where are we going?”

David looked at me with the most mischievous smile. Not another word came out of him until we pulled up to the rink. “I thought you might appreciate this stroll down memory lane.”

As I looked at the massive brick building, the images of years sitting in the rafters watching him do drills poured in. I never stepped foot on the ice. I simply enjoyed the reprieve from the heat it offered.

As he opened the door, an arctic blast hit us in the face.

“OMG, this is awesome. It’s perfect. Let me go crawl up in my spot for a while.”

Shaking his head, he chuckled loudly. “Oh no, you’re going out in the rink. You’re not getting out of this. Time to lace up, sweetheart.”

The large, white expanse full of kids became a feared landscape. Toddlers with those trainer bars scooted carefully in a circular motion as the more experienced kids flew by.

“You’re fucking kidding. No way, I’ve never done this. I can’t afford to bust my ass out there!”

Still guiding me towards the skate rental, he was relentless. His own set was slung carelessly around his neck while the pimply face kid in front of the generic brown loaners looked at me, annoyed.

“Size?”

David would not budge on this; he was getting off on my anxiety.

“Seven and a half.”

A reassuring arm began to stroke between my shoulder blades. A small part of me was thrilled to finally step out on the ice. I always wondered how they moved gracefully about without falling, especially during the fights. I loved to watch the fights. Something about grown men allowed to beat the crap out of each other on purpose made it less violent, although the damage was still as vicious.

Sitting on the low bench, David tightened my laces so much my ankles couldn’t bend if they tried. Walking awkwardly across the black flooring, I stood at the threshold of the rink. I didn’t want to make an ass of myself or get hurt.
Pride before the fall.

He held my trepid arms and let me hold the edge of the wall as I inched slowly around the arena. As long as I was holding onto the wall, I was good. A small group of boys no older than ten came up to him excitedly.

“Mr. Stark, Mr. Stark, come play with us, please.”

He looked at me with concern before I waved him off. I was sure it was a big deal for them to be out on the ice with someone so special. Leaning off to the right, I watched as he interacted with them all. The boys were all smiles as he showed them how to position their sticks, ways to angle their bodies – they were soaking it up. After a few minutes, a man who had been standing on the other side of the wall came up next to me.

“He’s here once a month at least. He has a deal to come in early for drills, but I imagine it’s late for him. My son is always so excited when he comes in and Stark’s here. He’s the small one to the left, number thirteen. Shame it went the way it did.”

This man obviously did not see both the ring on my finger or the fact that David and I came in together, so his candidness was unsettling.

“Have they ever asked him to coach? I am sure he would be great at it. I mean, look at him with the boys – they love him.”

The man snorted with disgust. “Stark coaching peewee? Yeah right. That’s below him, and the only thing he wants below him is another woman every night. Anyways, which one of those boys is yours?”

I pointed at the small group with David in the middle. “The one you just insulted.”

Sliding away from the open-mouthed man, I gave a sly smile. “I will be sure to mention you are a fan tonight while he’s busy pinning me against the wall, fucking my brains out.”

David skated over to me as he saw me moving towards the exit. “You okay?”

I tried hiding it, but he could tell I was upset. “Pick me up right now.”

Not questioning my request, his arms embraced my rib cage, raising my body against his. Without warning I laced my arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. He didn’t protest; instead, he tightened his grip on my thighs that were now wrapped around his waist. The young boys started to circle and hoot and holler at our display. When the kiss broke, I leaned next to his ear.

“Don’t ask right now, I will tell you later – just go with it.”

Knowing the man was still watching, my hands grabbed the sides of his face and I began to kiss him even more dramatically. Breaking the kiss, he gently laid me down on the solid surface and helped me to unlace. Wearing the biggest smile, he gazed at me as his eyes conveyed the confusion he felt. While getting back into the GT, I knew it was coming.

“What was that all about?”

Even though he was smiling, I suddenly felt childish for my behavior. “There was this guy who was an asshole and pissed me off. He made a shitty comment about you, so I felt the need to do something about it.”

David gripped the wheel as his smile vanished. “What did he say?”

Looking out the window, I turned to him sheepishly. “Something about the only thing you wanted was a different woman underneath you every night.”

David laughed at my admission. “Well, sugar, that’s true, though. Why did you get all pissy about it? Though I am not complaining. I won’t ever deny the opportunity to get between your legs.”

I felt like an idiot. David didn’t care what was said about him. He found it funny that was the word on the street. I thought he would be upset, but I was incorrect. “I was wrong. Sorry. It just bothered me that that was the thing he used to define you. You’re so much more. I won’t do it again.”

It suddenly hit him what I was doing. I was trying to defend him. “I appreciate what you did back there, but it’s not necessary. I wish I would have done it for you, though.”

I sighed heavily. We hadn’t gone down this road, yet. I wasn’t sure I wanted to. “It’s in the past.”

He pulled off on the side of the road and shut off the engine. There were no highway lamps or lights of any kind. Even the moon was hiding its brilliant light.

“Toni, I need to tell you something. You wouldn’t let me tell you then, so let me tell you now. I told you not to say anything because I didn’t want you to get hurt. It was easier they thought you were some dyke rather than a whore, because most people just left you alone. I didn’t want some asshole thinking you were easy and heaven forbid attacking you like that. I wouldn’t have been able to protect you and just thinking about it made me sick. I know what they were thinking about you, because I was thinking the same thing. You have always been beautiful, and I took advantage of your trust. I did the very thing I thought I was keeping you safe from. I don’t give a fuck what people think of me, because I destroyed the only person whose opinion mattered.”

His truth pained me as if a spear were running into my flesh. Hearing it put that way made sense, but I was so hurt at the time, I wouldn’t let him explain. It was still awful. The internal damn burst, and there was no holding back the tears in my eyes. I sat up in my seat, hopped the console into his lap and cried. Yeah, he fucked up more times than I could count, but when it came to me, he still tried. I was too caught up in my pain to see it. David’s arms cradled me tight as I soaked his t-shirt with tears. I could smell the day of sweat come off of his chest and permeate my senses. Although I was broken, there was nowhere else I wanted to be.

I should have been sleeping. Unfortunately, the past week’s events had me wound tight. I watched David’s slumbered state and studied every curve of his upper body. His chest and arms were carved deep with hard-earned muscle, and the lines along his face and eyes told the story of a lifetime passed. He was devastatingly handsome, and I couldn’t help but wish our situation was under different circumstances. He must have sensed my restlessness and opened his eyes. As he caressed my waist, his actions seemed as natural as breathing.

“What is it, babe?”

I could see the concern in his dark brown eyes, the way his brow furrowed in thought.

Shaking my head, I curled into his chest and draped his arm around me. “My naive familiarity with you. I think that it is dangerous. I can’t pretend to know anything about you. And for a moment, I thought I did. That was stupid on my part. Who you are in my head is vastly different than who you are in real life – I have to keep reminding myself of that. I fear I’ve made a dangerous mistake in assuming one above the other.”

He stilled against me, taking the words in.

“I don’t get it, Toni, explain.”

I sighed wistfully and shook my head. “I just wish things were different, that’s all.”

David’s hands ran slowly up and down along my spine in a hypnotic motion. “Tell me more.”

I brought my hand to the curve of his neck, and we came eye to eye in the moonlight that streamed through the window and illuminated the bedroom.

“I know I can’t change anything, but the ‘what if’s’ have a bad way of stealing my focus. My mind just goes on and on; it never stops. It’s exhausting.”

His breathing was exaggerated, though not intentionally. I could feel the puffs of air stream across my chest as he exhaled. “The ‘what if’s’ will drive you crazy; you need to think about what could be. As for me, I am still the same guy deep down.”

I nodded and remained silent a bit longer, taking in a new direction to send my worries. “David, do you think we will ever be happy?” I knew that he would see it as a trick question, deceptively simple, yet impossible to answer.

His large hands gently brushed through my hair, causing my scalp to tingle and waves of warmth to radiate down my body. “How do you feel right now?”

I smiled at his soothing voice and rhythmic hand movements. “Happy.”

He leaned in and kissed my forehead. “Yeah, me too. So, I guess it’s possible.”

My laugh was quiet. He was right; this moment was the only place where we had control.

“Take your shirt off, Toni, and roll over.”

David slipped off of the bed and reached into his top drawer, pulling out a small white tub with a black lid.

I watched him skeptically as he crawled back on the bed and waited expectantly. “Tell me why first,” I said as he pulled the lid from the jar.

“Because you need to go to sleep before I strangle you, and I know this will help you relax.”