Ruined (To Love a Governess Regency Short Story) (6 page)

She looked up at him, her eyes crinkling with worry.
 
“But there is more to my ruination than my father disappearing to avoid his debts and Vickery breaking the betrothal.”

Alec took both of her gloved hands in his.
 
“I can’t imagine anything so horrible that Fairfield would reject you.”

“But it is. And I must tell him first, before he learns of it somewhere else.”

He squeezed her fingers. “Go on. I will let you know if it is something he can’t ignore.”

Miss Rutledge pulled her hands from his and turned away.
 
The fact that she wouldn’t look at him was worrisome.
 
Had something horrible happened to her? Was she truly ruined in the most literal sense?
 
Would it matter to him if she were?
 

Of course not.

“I was given a governess position with the Stuarts, for their three daughters.”

“I know the family,” Alec said slowly, afraid of what was to come.
 
Miss Rutledge’s posture was straight and her shoulders tense.

“They have a son who had just returned from Oxford.”

Alec knew of the gentleman, though he had difficulty referring to him as such, given the rumors he had heard.

“He came to my room one evening.
 
He wanted to benefit from the governess as well.”

She sniffed and Alec walked forward, placing his hands on her shoulders.
 
If that bastard laid one finger on her, Alec would kill him.
 

“I fought him off but the noise drew attention.
 
His parents blamed me and turned me out without reference.
 
They said if I hadn’t flirted, he wouldn’t have thought he could come to my room.
 
They also said things around Town that this is what happened when you hired someone with my reputation and that I only wanted to work as a governess to trap a lord’s son into marriage.”

Alec turned her to face him. Tears streamed down her face and he drew her into his arms.
 
“I am glad you fought.”

Her body shook with her sobs.

“That is why I had to come north for work and why I am afraid Lord Fairfield will not hire me.”
 
She sniffed and Alec pulled a handkerchief from his pocket.

“Thank you,” she said, dabbing at her eyes.

He pulled her tight against him.
 
The desire to hold and protect her from the world was stronger than his desire to make love to her.
 
What kind of man put that desire over the other?
 
Perhaps a man in love?
No. It was too soon to be in love with Miss Rutledge. They barely knew one another.

“I am sure my cousin will hire you.
 
He will trust me. Especially when I advise him
of
 
Lord
Stuart’s son’s reputation.”

She sniffed again and looked up at Alec. “Thank you.”

* * *

Though her tears were spent, Audrey had no desire to step away from Lord Winters and out of his arms.
 
She had never felt so safe, so secure. But if she stayed here much longer, what would he think of her?
 
Audrey moved to take a step back but his arms tightened, not letting her go.

She remained a few moments longer, her cheek against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart.
 
She could stay here forever.
 
But why was he holding her? She should have been alarmed but fear was the last thing from her mind.
 

“Though this is highly improper, I can’t seem to let you go.”

She looked up. His blue eyes were dark and a russet curl had fallen onto his forehead. If he could confess his feelings then so could she. “I am not sure I want to pull away.”

“I’ve missed you.”
 
He studied her face a few moments longer until his gaze settled on her lips. Winters lowered his head and brushed his lips across her mouth. It was warm and innocent. Audrey thought that was all he would do but he returned and applied more pressure as his arms tightened further.
 
His tongue traced the seam of her mouth and Audrey parted her lips. Winters delved deeper and she was lost.
 
She had been kissed before but his were always exquisite.
 
She had to grasp his shoulders for purchase before her knees gave out.
 
Over and over he plundered her mouth with his tongue and she mimicked his actions.
 

Her body grew warm and she welcomed the cool wind that swirled around them.
 
Winters’ hands caressed up and down her back, his lips never leaving hers as his arousal hardened against her stomach. This always happened when they were alone in a dark garden.
 
After the first time he kissed her, they tried to be alone this way as often as possible.
 
It was wrong because she had been betrothed, but she found her betrothed repugnant and thought to take as much pleasure for herself before settling into an unhappy marriage.
 
Their passion was as strong now as it had been a year ago.
 
Why did she have to be reminded of this now when she knew there would never be another opportunity?

Winters’ hand skimmed around her side and came forward to cup her breast. His thumb slid across the tip.
 

Even the cold wind couldn’t quell the heat now.
 

His lips left hers and trailed across her cheek to her ear before he kissed her neck. Audrey let her head fall back and enjoyed the wondrous sensations he was producing in her body.
 
At this moment she didn’t care what happened as long as he continued to make her feel this way.

“Excuse me.”

Audrey yanked away from
Winters
and stood on tip-toe to see over his shoulder.
 
Mortification sank in at the sight of Lord and Lady Timothy.

Chapter 7

I suppose courtship is now out of the question
.
 
In but a few moments Alec went from wishing to call on a lady to full-blown betrothal.
 
Yet he was not upset in the least.
 
Strotham looked a bit put out, however. His arms were crossed over his chest, and his feet were braced apart.
 
He’d only met Miss Rutledge today, why was he being so protective?
 
Lady Timothy’s eyes twinkled with delight and she bit her bottom lip.
 
Probably to keep from grinning.
 

Alec glanced down at Miss Rutledge, her face was pale, her eyes were wide and she trembled at his side. “I suppose I should go speak with the vicar so he can announce the banns.”

“What?” Miss Rutledge screeched.

“That would be wise.”
 
Strotham nodded.

“We need to talk to Monique right away about a dress.
 
I am sure Lord Winters will want to be married as soon as possible.”

“Wait,” Miss Rutledge squealed.
 
“There is not going to be any marriage.”

Alec took her hands in his. “Of course there is.”

Her head shook before she spoke. “I can’t let you do this.
 
A moment of, well, whatever it was, should not chain you to me.”

He tilted her chin up and placed a chaste kiss on her lips.
 
“I am rather content with this turn of events.”

“You should not settle for contentment.”
 
Miss Rutledge pulled away from him.
 
“There is no need to take such drastic measures.
 
I was ruined before I arrived so there is no need to save my reputation.”

He hated that she considered herself ruined or that anyone else did for that matter.
 
Alec turned to Lord and Lady Strotham. “Might I have a word in private?”

“We will move away so we can’t hear, but you will not be out of sight,” Strotham warned.

Lady Timothy laughed. “Need I remind you. . .
”

“Shush, wife.
 
Besides, we were handfasted. They are not even betrothed.”

“They are now,” she argued.

“It doesn’t matter.”

Alec pulled Miss Rutledge away from the couple so he didn’t have to hear them arguing and so they could not hear what he had to say.

He turned her toward him and looked down into her lovely face. “It was my intention to call on you. To court you as a gentleman should a lady.”

She gasped. “I don’t understand.”

“Audrey,” he began and stopped. “I am giving myself permission to address you as such.”

“Go on.”

“Audrey, I was taken with you in London but you were already betrothed to Vickery.”

“Not by choice.”

Alec grinned. He knew she never wanted to marry the man. “You cannot deny the passion that was shared then, or that it is still as strong now.
 
Had you been free, I would have called on you then.
Danced with you more.
Taken you for rides in the park.”

She smiled softly and her face flushed.
 

“Then, when your betrothal was broken and you were free, you disappeared.”

“I couldn’t go out in public any longer, especially after my father
—
” she broke off and waved her hand through the air.

“I looked for you and even called at your house.”

“I didn’t know. I stopped answering the door because they were either creditors, or vicious biddies who liked nothing better than to learn what they could of my downfall so they would have something to gossip about.”

“I wish you would have answered when I called.”

Her eyes searched his.
 
“So do
I
.”

Alec bent forward and placed his lips against hers.
 

“
Winters
,” Strotham warned and Alec straightened. They couldn’t be married soon enough.

“It would be my honor to marry you, Audrey, if you will have me.”

Her hand came up and caressed his cheek.
 
Alec closed his eyes for a moment, lost in her touch.

“It is unfair to you.
 
I have nothing to bring to a marriage. You should find a lady of quality.”

“You are the only lady I want.”
 
He grasped her arms. He needed to make her understand. “I think I was already half in love with you in London.
 
I don’t know how deep my feelings are now, but I do know that I want nobody else for my wife. I don’t want to face my future without you by my side.

Her smile grew wide. “I would be honored to be your wife.”

“Can I hope you return some of my feelings?”

“Lord Winters—”

“Alec,” he interrupted.

“Alec, I think I started falling in love with you last spring as well.”