Running for Cover (16 page)

“The past is part of who we are. It formed us and shaped us and brought us to this place, but it does not define us. What defines us now, in this moment, is our relationship with God, our desire to serve Him and our pursuit of His will. We must let go of what was if we are going to embrace what is.”

Jackson turned the pastor’s words over in his head again and again as the sermon continued.

Let go of what was.

Embrace what is.

What defines us now, in this moment, is our relationship with God.

The truth of the words was something Jackson couldn’t deny. He’d avoided church for years, spent a lot of time living life his own way. In the end, that hadn’t been enough to fill the emptiness his sister’s death had left. It hadn’t been enough to ease his guilt or to help him move on with his life.

Maybe the emptiness wasn’t just the spot left by Lindsey’s death. Maybe it was the emptiness of living a life for nothing but self.

The pastor finished speaking and asked the congregation to rise for the benediction. As he prayed, Jackson prayed, too. For forgiveness. For peace. For the kind of relationship with God that he’d never wanted, but that he was beginning to think he needed.

M
organ moved by rote as the congregation filed out into the aisles. The pastor’s sermon had hit home, and she knew she’d have to spend some time thinking about it. Not now, though. Not today. Letting go of the past had ceased to be a possibility two nights ago.

What about having a relationship with God?

The question slipped into her mind and lodged there, filling her thoughts as she stepped out into bright sunshine, Jackson and her family right behind her.

“Are you coming to the house for lunch, dear?” her mother asked, stepping close and taking Morgan’s hand. It was the kind of affectionate gesture Morgan had never gotten used to. In Latvia, life had been about survival rather than love, and Morgan had spent the first nine years of her life avoiding the adults who seemed to come and go with abandon.

“I’d like to, but I’m meeting Shannon Mallory at noon.”

“Your friend from college?”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t know the two of you still kept in touch.”

“We haven’t, but since I was in town, I thought I’d look her up.” That was all she would say for now. Sharing the rest with her family wasn’t something she felt prepared to do. They
probably suspected that Cody hadn’t been faithful. Maybe they even knew it for sure, but Morgan didn’t want to discuss it with them. She didn’t even want to discuss it with Shannon.

“Well, I’m glad you’ll be reconnecting with her. You two were so close during college. Maybe if you finish early enough, you can stop by for dinner. I made pot roast for lunch, and I’m sure we’ll have plenty left over.”

“I—”

“I think that sounds fantastic, Mrs. Alexandria.” Jackson spoke up, taking the decision out of Morgan’s hands.

That was fine with her. She’d come to Spokane to reconnect with the family, forge the bond that seemed to have always been missing when she was a kid.

“Wonderful! I’ve still got that huckleberry pie I promised Morgan last night. Dad and Benjamin wanted to eat it for breakfast, but I refused to cut it. The first piece is always for you.” She squeezed Morgan’s hand, smiling into her eyes, and Morgan’s throat tightened with emotion.

“Thanks, Mom.”

“For what?”

“Remembering that the first slice of huckleberry pie is always for me.”

“You’re my daughter. I remember everything about you.”

“Hopefully not everything, because there’s plenty I’d prefer you forget.”

Her mom laughed and released her hand. “We’ll see you for dinner.”

“You’re sure it won’t be a problem?”

“Of course. It’s actually better this way. Lauren will be home by five. We can all eat together.”

“I’ll see you then,” Morgan said, pressing a kiss to her mother’s cheek and doing the same to her father. Then hugging Benjamin and Lauren.

“Ready?” Jackson asked, opening the car door and waiting while Morgan got in.

“I guess I’m going to have to be.”

“We could wait.”

“For what?”

“For you to be ready.”

“How about you just close the door and we get moving? Putting it off is only making me more anxious.”

Jackson nodded, closing the door and rounding the car. He seemed distracted as he got in, his gaze on the parking lot and the people who were moving through it.

“What’s wrong?”

“Just wondering how long it’s going to take for our late-night visitors to return.”

“Not long enough.”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking. Where are we headed?”

“Take 1–90 to downtown Spokane. Shannon lives on the south hill.”

“Sounds fancy.”

“It is. Her ex-husband is a doctor. They bought the house right after they got married. It was part of her divorce settlement.”

“How long has she been divorced?”

“Four years,” Morgan responded, wiping damp palms on the skirt of her dress. She felt a nervousness way out of proportion to the situation. Whatever had been between Shannon and Cody, it was over. Even if it hadn’t been, even if Cody were still alive and the relationship had continued, it shouldn’t have mattered. Morgan had walked out on Cody two years ago. She had no claim to him. Wouldn’t have wanted one if she’d been offered it.

“What’s she like?”

“Shannon? Pretty, fit, fun to be around. Take this exit and turn left when you get to the bottom of the ramp.”

“And the two of you got along well?”

“For a while. We had similar interests in college. Art, pottery, sculpting and parties. After college, things changed. We both got married. Lived different kinds of lives, but we were still friends until her divorce.”

“And then?”

“We lost touch.”

“Just like that?”

“No. She came to stay with Cody and me after her divorce. She said she needed some time away from Spokane and her family. We were happy to have her.”

“And now you wish you hadn’t?”

Did she? Morgan’s marriage had been troubled before Shannon’s visit. They’d managed to put on a good show, pretend to be a united front, but reality was that they’d been living separate lives. Cody pursuing his business and Morgan pursuing their marriage. “Nothing would have changed what happened between me and Cody, so even if I could go back in time and uninvite Shannon, it wouldn’t make any difference.”

“I was thinking about that during the sermon.”

“Thinking about what?”

“The past and how easy it is to get caught up wishing we could change it. I’ve spent two years thinking that I could have prevented my sister’s death. If I’d asked the right questions, pushed for answers, maybe she’d still be alive.” He shrugged.

“Do you really think you could have saved her?”

“I’ve spent a lot of time since her death telling myself that I could have. But when I was listening to the sermon today, I started wondering if that was the truth. Maybe I could have changed things with the right question. Maybe I couldn’t have, but I can’t spend any more time wondering about it. Wishing for it.”

“I’m sorry, Jackson.” The words weren’t enough. Morgan
knew it, but there was nothing else to give, and she put her hand on his shoulder, wishing she could offer more.

“Me, too, but it’s time to move on. Time to really put the past behind me. Maybe it’s time for you to do the same.”

“I wish it were that easy.”

“Why can’t it be?”

“Because the past is following me, Jackson. Once this is over, once we’ve got the disk and the police have figured out why someone wants it so badly, then I can move on.”

“But will you?”

“Of course. It’s what I’ve been trying to do for years.”

“Then why open a pottery gallery in Lakeview, Virginia, when your family is here? This is a beautiful place. I’m sure that for an artist it’s full of inspiration.”

It was true. She couldn’t deny it. “Turn right here. Shannon’s house is the cream-colored Victorian on the corner.”

“I guess you’re not going to answer the question.”

“I would if I had an answer,” she responded, tensing as he pulled into the driveway of the beautiful old house.

“Think she stuck around and waited?”

“She’ll be here. Shannon was never one to back down from a challenge.” Morgan took a deep breath and got out of the car, knowing her college roommate was probably staring out a window, watching them approach.

“Come on, then. I’m sure you’re as anxious to get this over with as she probably is,” Jackson said, taking her hand, tugging her along when she might have been tempted to take another minute, and try to prepare a little more.

“It’s an awkward situation.”

“Awkward?” Jackson raised a brow, his blue eyes as clear and bright as the summer sky.

“Uncomfortable. Disturbing. Weird. But I figured I’d just go with
awkward
.”

Jackson knocked on the door, and Morgan took another deep breath, wiped her palm on her skirt again.

“It’s going to be okay.” Jackson squeezed her hand, holding it tight as he knocked again.

The door swung open and Shannon appeared, dressed in dark, low-slung jeans and a fitted sweater. Blond hair perfectly highlighted. Green eyes perfectly made-up. Beautiful, but faded since the last time Morgan had seen her. Fine lines fanned out from the corner of her eyes, and her skin seemed a shade too pale.

“Morgan, come on in,” she said, stepping aside so that Morgan and Jackson could walk into the large foyer.

“I appreciate you letting me come by to see the box.”

“I didn’t realize you were bringing someone.” Shannon cast a quick glance in Jackson’s direction.

“This is Jackson Sharo. He’s…a friend.”

“I see.”

“See what?”

“I guess you really did move on once you left Cody. I’d been worried…” Her voice trailed off and her cheeks flushed.

“That I’d be brokenhearted when I found out you were having an affair with my husband.” There. It was out in the open where it needed to be.

“I’m not going to deny it, and I’m not going to apologize. But I will say that I’m sorry to lose your friendship. You always meant the world to me.”

Jackson snorted, and Morgan shot a hard look in his direction.

“Sorry, but I don’t see how a person could betray someone who means the world to her.”

“Let’s not make this any more difficult than it has to be,” Morgan said.

“It’s okay. He’s right, but I’m not going to offer excuses. I didn’t want to hear them when my husband cheated on me, and I’m sure you don’t want to hear them now. You came for the
package.” She lifted a small box from a round foyer table. “Here you are. There wasn’t much in it. Just a personal letter, the necklace I’m wearing and a computer disk.”

Morgan tried to avoid looking at Shannon’s necklace as she accepted the box, but it was impossible to keep her eyes off it. Large to the point of gaudiness, the heart pendant appeared to be made of diamonds and rubies and looked exactly like one that Cody had given to Morgan six months before she’d walked out on him.

What would Shannon say if she knew that the necklace she wore, the gift she so obviously treasured, was one of two that Cody had purchased?

For a moment, Morgan was tempted to tell her. Tempted to make Shannon suffer just a little of what she had.

She didn’t. Wouldn’t.

“Have you looked at the disk? Tried to find out what’s on it?” Jackson asked, taking a step closer to Morgan, offering silent and unmistakable support.

“No. In the letter, Cody told me not to. He said the information on it could be dangerous.”

“Then why pass it on to you?”

“Security. That’s what he told me.”

“And you were never tempted to take a peek? See what kind of security he was talking about?” Jackson persisted, and Shannon shook her head.

“Why would I be? Cody said the information was dangerous, and I figured the less I knew about it the better.”

Morgan took the box from Shannon’s hand, doing her best not to notice the tears in her former friend’s eyes. She couldn’t comfort her. Couldn’t offer condolences. Not when the man Shannon mourned was the one she’d betrayed Morgan with. The one who’d betrayed Morgan over and over again.

“I appreciate you letting us have this, Shannon.”

“I’m happy to get it out of my hands. Cody said it was his security system. I guess it didn’t work nearly as well as he thought it would.”

“I guess not. We’d better get out of here and let you get on with your day.”

“Morgan…” Shannon’s voice trailed off and she shook her head. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.” Morgan stepped outside, handing Jackson the box and forcing a smile as she offered Shannon a quick wave. “It was nice seeing you again.”

The lie rolled off her tongue with relative ease, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

It was over. She’d gotten what she’d come for. Learned what she hadn’t wanted to. And it hadn’t hurt nearly as much as she’d expected.

“You, too. Take care,” Shannon said, shutting the door with a quiet thud.

“I’m impressed,” Jackson said as he opened the car door and waited for Morgan to get in.

“With what?”

“The way you handled that. It was a tough situation, but you managed it with grace.”

“Only because I was nearly mute with disgust. That pendant she was wearing, the one I kept expecting her to press close to her heart?”

“What about it?”

“Cody gave me one just like it a few years ago. It was a Christmas gift.”

“Nice.”

“Yeah. Fortunately, I’d already been through a lot with him, and the pendant didn’t do anything to convince me that he’d changed.”

“I don’t think Shannon was nearly as pragmatic about it
as you were. She seemed to think it was a symbol of his undying devotion.”

“Maybe because she still believed she was Cody’s one true love.”

“Cody was—”

“Let’s not talk about him, okay?”

“What would you rather discuss?” he asked, pulling out of Shannon’s driveway and heading back through downtown Spokane.

“This.” She lifted the box with the disk in it. “We need to call Jake and let him know we’ve got it.”

“Right after we make a copy of it.”

“Can we do that?”

“Sure. We’ll just take it to your parents’ place, copy it onto one of their computer hard drives and be done with it.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“No?” he asked, briefly meeting her eyes before turning his attention back to the road.

“You know it’s not. Won’t we be tampering with evidence or withholding it or doing
something
illegal with it if we make a copy?”

“Tampering would mean changing it, withholding would mean keeping it from the police. We’re not doing either. We’re simply waiting a few extra minutes to let the police know what we’ve got.”

“Why?”

“Partially because I’m curious. I want to know what’s on that disk, but mostly because I’ve got a lot of resources at my disposal. The P.I. agency I work for is top-notch, and we’ve got a computer expert who may be able to track down any leads we find on the disk more quickly than the local P.D. can.”

“The police here are first rate. So are the ones in Lakeview,” she said, not really protesting Jackson’s plan.

“And in New York,” he added. “There’s no question about that. But once they get this disk, we lose access and control. Personally, I’m not keen on doing either.”