Read Santa Vs. The Living Dead Online
Authors: Josh Hilden
Santa Vs. The Living Dead (4 page)
Tea Party Patriot Bunker
“The dead are coming!” the elf said bringing his mount in for a landing. The reindeer snorted in agreement and stamped its hoof on the asphalt.
The elf and reindeer team had been on a long aerial recon of the area making sure all was going as Santa planned. Other teams were landing across the fields in front of the bunker. As human units were bolstered and reinforced across the world, select teams of elf and reindeer warriors rallied to Santa. Amongst the elves and reindeer were elite teams of humans sent by the governments of the world for this assault.
Everything hinged on this action and Santa had been put in overall command. He was the only person all the surviving governments trusted to give the orders needed to end the nightmare.
“We want them to come to us Hermy,” Santa said looking through his brightly colored binoculars. “Our people will be safer with the enemy coming at our defenses than if we attacked them. We need to keep the dead occupied while we breach the bunker.”
The elf nodded in silent agreement.
In the far distance a wall of ambulatory corpses chewed up the distance between themselves and Santa’s Army of elves, reindeer, and humans. All that could be done had been done and now they had to wait, once the army of the dead was engaged and occupied the way to the complex and the vaccine would be opened to them.
“Krampus,” Santa said turning to his lifelong frenemy. “While the good boys and girls engage the dead you and I will deal with the bunker.”
The holiday demon flicked his serpent tongue and grinned with delight. Never has he been given the opportunity to enact punishment on such naughty people. He was hopping up and down with excitement. He was like a puppy jerking at the end of his leash.
The forces of the living and dead clashed in the middle of the field. Blood flew as elves, reindeer, and humans were torn asunder. But for every good boy and girl brought down by the ocean of the dead, a thousand zombies were left broken and empty. The heavens roared and the ground shook with the cacophony of carnage.
“Now Krampus!” Santa yelled.
The two ancient beings, opposite sides of the same coin, dashed for the entrance of the bunker. The locks on the bunker, some of the most complicated and powerful in the world yet to Santa they were as effective as a piece of string. Once inside the concrete and steel fortress Santa was assaulted by the smell of death.
“I think the dead may have already been dispatched,” Krampus said growling and sniffing the stagnant air of the bunker. They moved swiftly through corridors stepping over unmoving corpses. “But I can smell at least one living person here.”
They rounded a corner and nearly ran into her.
Congresswoman Shelly was dressed in riot armor. In one hand she held a fire axe coated in blood and gore. In the other she held two ropes connected to the necks of two zombies. Senator Eddie and Congressman Willie had fought her at first but now they accepted their new place under her command.
“Oh Shelly, you’ve been a naughty little girl,” Santa said shaking his head sadly. “Tell us where the vaccine is and we’ll let you be.”
“This is my time now!” the woman shrieked. Her eyes bulged with insanity, any rational thought she might have once possessed had been exorcised from her during the course of the long nightmare. “Serve me Santa. Join me and together we’ll rule the world!”
Krampus vaulted past Santa and scooped Congresswoman Shelly off her feet. She attempted to bring the axe down on him but Krampus snatched it from her hand and snapped it like a twig. “Naughty girl,” he hissed flinging her over his hairy shoulder.
Zombie Eddie and Zombie Willie moaned and moved towards them.
Santa acted quickly shattering both of their skulls with a single strike from his staff. The former politicians and conspirators crumpled to the cold hard ground.
“Get the vaccine Santa,” Krampus said grinning. “There are many spankings to be delivered to this one.”
Congresswoman Shelly screamed as Krampus bounded away. As he hopped on his strong goat legs he delivered smack after smack to her narrow bottom.
Krampus will do his job and do it well. It is after all his purpose in life. I need to get the vaccine and replicate it in my sack then I need to spread it to all the good little boys and girls.
And Santa was as good as his plan. Once he located the vaccine he used the tremendous magic of his sack to replicate it. Then using his powers over space and time he delivered the vaccine to the children of the Earth and their parents. It wasn’t enough to end the zombie plague in a night but coupled with the heroics of the human, elf, and reindeer warriors they managed to turn the tide.
As the sleigh returned to the North Pole on Christmas morning, Lucy woke. She’d slept through the end of the fighting and the night of deliveries. Martha Kringle was waiting for her husband, hot coco in hand.
Christmas Eve, One Year Later
The year had been one of hard work and rebuilding. In the aftermath of the Christmas Zombie War, the children of the Earth came together. Old differences and conflicts were set aside and all the good boys and girls worked to make the world a better and brighter place. Things were far from perfect but every day thing got a little better.
The North Pole
“Ho-Ho-Ho,” Santa called out entering the stables to inspect the team. “Are we ready to head out, team?”
The line of excited reindeer, with Rudolph at the front of the line, stamped their hooves in affirmation.
“Good!” Santa exclaimed examining the raiment of each member as he passed them. “Now where is my assistant?”
“Here I am, Papa Santa!” Lucy cried out entering the stable. “Mama Claus wanted me to make sure I finished my dinner before we left.”
Santa took his foster daughter up in a hug and spun her around.
“Well that’s just fine,” he said laughing as she giggled with dizziness. He set her back on her wobbly legs and tweaked her nose playfully. “Now we have a lot to do and we need to get moving.”
Lucy, dressed in a miniature version of Santa’s own working clothes, took her spot next to him in the sleigh. Maybe it was fate that brought Santa to her in the dark night, or maybe it was chance, but regardless when he laid eyes on her, Santa knew her destiny.
Santa was long-lived but not immortal. He knew one day he would be too ancient to continue delivering the presents. He’d often wondered who’d do the job when he no longer could but now worried no more. One day Lucy, the daughter of his heart, would take his place and wear the name of Santa.
“Give the order little one,” Santa whispered.
“Alright Rudolph, are we ready?” Lucy said taking the reins.
The tall and powerful reindeer turned his head and nodded.
“Let’s fly!” Lucy yelled and the sleigh took to the air.
MERRY CHRISTMAS BOILS AND GHOULS!
- Josh
A Call to Action!
If you will forgive me, and even if you won’t, I am going to take a few minutes of your time before you dive into your download.
I am an Indie Writer. This means that I am either self publishing my work or I am being published by a small company and not one of the “Big 6” publishers. I enjoy being independent, I can write what I want when I want with little to no oversight from above.
It also means I am doing all of the heavy lifting for myself.
That is the part I enjoy the least. I don’t enjoy constantly spamming social media with information on my latest work, but it is a task I have to do.
“But Josh”
you ask,
“What can I do to help you out?”
The answer is very simple. I have a short list of things you can do to give me a helping hand.
- Share information about my work with your friends and family
- Like, review, and rate my work on Amazon and Goodreads (of course if you don’t like something I would prefer you not leave negative feedback)
- Finally you can sign up for my mailing list (link below) to keep up with the latest goings on with me and my work
I look forward to producing more products that you can enjoy and I anticipate a long and happy reader/writer relationship!
-
Josh Hilden
Published Works
Fiction
Beneath The Ice: A Mythos Novella
Bunny, Bunni, & Bobby Book 1: A Rabbits Tale
Flash Story Collection Volume 1
Frankenstein King of the Dead Book 1: Overture of Chaos
Summer Camp of the Dead Season 1
Summer Camp of the Dead Season 2
Tales from the Shores of the Dead
The Free Story Friday Collection Volume 1
The Free Story Friday Collection Volume 2: The Mythos Cycle
The Free Story Friday Collection Volume 3: The Earth Interregnum
The Residue (Revised & Expanded)
The Risen Dead: A Survivors Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse
The Ruins in the Mountains: A Mythos Novella
The Shores of the Dead Book 1: The Rising
The Shores of the Dead Book 2: The Journey
The Shores of the Dead Book 3: The Final Stand
The Shores of the Dead Book Omnibus Edition
Non Fiction
A Cautious Decent Into Respectability
After the Decent Volume 1 (2013)
Before the Decent the Collected and Annotated Essays (2006 – 2012)
Josh Hilden’s Useless Advice for New Writers
Poetry
Walking the Spiral Poems Book 1 (2008 – 2012)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
When I was born on August 3, 1976 in the great state of Michigan the hills shook and the sky was swept with fire. These were portents of the greatness for my future that was written in the stars ... I'm still waiting for that greatness.
My name is Josh Hilden and I am many things. I am a husband, a father, a son, a friend. These are all important things but at my core I am an artist and the medium that I work in is words. I am a writer of Role Playing Games, short stories, essays, poetry, novellas, and novels.
In the everyday world I can be found spending time with my family and friends. I have been married to my lovely wife Karen since September of 1996. We have six amazing children. We tend to be a family of unabashed geeks and gamers who were geek before geek was chic.
If you are really interested in me I am very active online with a personal and a writing blog along with a plethora of social media outlets. All links are available at my website (www.joshhilden.com). If you have any questions or just want to chat hit me up!