Secret Cravings (3 page)

Luke almost said something, but the hurt in her eyes sealed his lips. Something bad had clearly gone on in her life, and he wondered if a relationship had ended. Over the last year he’d been ‘accidentally’ running into her, and she’d mentioned a relationship at one point.

“Follow me up. Promise I don’t bite.” Luke held up one hand to enhance his innocence. He doubted Bryan would buy his act. The man made him too hot. The night held promise that made his heart race and his dick harden.

“I don’t know. It’s kind of late,” Bryan said.

“The sun will be up soon. The view is incredible. A few hours’ sleep wouldn’t hurt. Slogging across town isn’t much fun at this time in the morning.”

Bryan took a step away and shook his head. “Maybe another time. Nichole, I’ll share a cab with you.”

Nichole bit her lip, her eyes filled with sadness. She placed a hand on Luke’s arm. “Spending the night with you would be nice, but I don’t know.”

Luke hated the brush-off junk. He wanted to tell them to fuck off, but they were both right. He shouldn’t have assumed they would come up for a threesome. Not everyone in the world was a skank. Messing with Christopher had jaded him. “I understand,” Luke said, though he wanted to plead with them to come up and just cuddle with him. Anything to fill the huge hole in his heart. Nichole and Bryan turned towards the exit and Luke felt despair sliding over him. Nichole stopped walking and turned around.

“I have a new set of clients next month. This neighbourhood. I’ll be at the usual spot on Mondays in two weeks. I would love to talk, if you aren’t too pissed off at the letdown.”

Luke couldn’t believe she’d thrown him a bone. Maybe taking it slow with this girl would work. But in a month he would have to be in London. The small amount of hope that had flared in his mind was soon dashed. His work was tough on relationships—few people stuck around once they realised he had depth and wasn’t only pretty to look at. Too bad Bryan wasn’t interested, because he was the one Luke really wanted to get to know.

“I live off of Sixty-Eighth, just around the corner. Green awning—if you are in the neighbourhood.” He stared at Bryan, praying the man would take him up on the offer.

The pair disappeared from his view, and he walked out of the garage and around the building to his place. Martin was at the door and let him in. He said nothing, just went to his private elevator and swiped his card. The ride to his floor was long and lonely, but Bryan and Nichole coming up here would have been a mistake, one he’d made way too often when it came to relationships. Quick fucks might give his body relief, but his soul craved a deeper connection.

The elevator came to a halt and Luke stepped out into his living area. He loved his apartment, his things. For the next two weeks he’d stay here and read, maybe watch some movies. The outside world could just go fuck itself until Nichole showed up at the park on Mondays. He couldn’t wait.

* * * *

Amy explained for the third time that she wasn’t going to submit to a drug test. She had rights and she knew them. The cops had taken her for a stupid bimbo, too dumb to know what was happening.

When she’d first seen the cops, her eyes had darted around the dance floor, searching for the cute girl in pink. God, she hoped the girl had got out. In the hour and a half since the raid, she’d not seen Pink, which was what she’d affectionately begun to call the girl in her mind.

The cops had let a few people go, but they were bringing in the paddy wagons to arrest a multitude. It was too bad her firm didn’t do criminal law—she’d be catching a ton of business. She’d already texted Robert, her boss, telling him what was what. He’d called and she’d answered, even with the cops shooting her dirty looks. Robert had had the gall to laugh when she’d explained the situation fully. When she’d told him how the cops had targeted her, he’d said very seriously that she needed to text him a picture, so, of course, she had. That was when his giggle fit had erupted. Five days a week she played the role of über-responsible adult, dressing in business suits, working twelve hours a day to pull down enough billable hours to get the partners to notice her efforts. Robert, a partner in the firm and her boss, had been impressed from day one, but weekend nights were her time. So what if she dolled up a bit when cutting loose? Before she’d hung up with him, she’d made him swear he wouldn’t hold this against her.

He’d made some comment about holding her and she’d reminded him that she played for the other team. All in all, it hadn’t been too bad because he’d sobered quickly, telling her that he would be deleting the picture and that the only time he’d ever mention it again would be once she made partner, which would happen sooner rather than later.

Amy had ended the phone call and had jumped up, shouting “Hell, yeah!”—which, of course, had drawn all eyes to her.

“Miss, take a seat,” the nearest cop had barked.

After twenty more minutes of haggling with the cops, she secured the release of three-quarters of the crowd and headed home. Julie had left the den a wreck, and the kitchen wasn’t much better. Dirty plates sat on the counter, nowhere near the sink, and Julie had left the milk out.
Who the hell leaves the milk out?
She needed to say something to the girl—anything to make the situation better.

Amy walked into her room and heard snores. She flicked on the light and gasped.
Oh, hell no.
Right then, as she stared at the huge guy asleep on her bed, she vowed to find a new place to live, and soon.

* * * *

By the time the cab had dropped Bryan off at his place, the sun was coming up. He’d thought he should have stayed at Luke’s. God, that man was beautiful.

Bryan had said goodbye to Nichole, but hadn’t set up a time to meet with her. She’d made it clear that she was interested in Luke before they’d even left his parking garage.

Bryan had slept most of the day away, waking a little after three. His new place was small, not at all like where he’d been living before, but he was close to some cool places. On his way down to the street to grab something to eat, he heard a dog bark and thought about Joey, then Nichole. He didn’t want to be a stalker. If he ran into her when she showed up to walk Joey, then fine. Otherwise, he wouldn’t force the issue.

On Sunday, he cleaned his apartment and prepped for work. He had the luxury of working from home. Sure, he had to travel at least once a month, but he loved the freedom of being able to wake late if he’d had a rough night or finish up early if he was tired.

His flexible schedule had come in handy more than once. Before his ex had left, he’d been able to help out with Michael, but these days he woke early and walked the streets.

On the Tuesday after he’d met Nichole and Luke at Silver Lace, he ran up the steps to his apartment and right into Nichole. The shorts and T-shirt she was wearing looked cute, and his body took notice. Joey drooled beside her, drawing Bryan’s attention with soft woofs.

After Bryan had given Joey a pat on the head, his gaze swung to Nichole’s. They stared at each other for a long moment. He didn’t know what to say. The attraction was there, and he wouldn’t mind getting to know her. Maybe he was moving too fast.

“Hi,” Nichole said.

“Hi.”

Nichole looked away, disappointment evident on her face. She started moving and he knew he had to act.

“Hey, listen. I’m really bad at this and I know you’re busy working. Would you like to get something to eat at some point? You know, together?”

“Wow, you are bad. Was that you asking me out on a date?”

Heat crept up his neck, and he looked away, embarrassed by his stupidity. He’d made a fool of himself—no way would she ever want to see him. Luke was the type of guy who drew her interest, not him.

She reached out and touched his face. “Hey, I think it’s sweet that you suck at picking up girls. You want to go grab a cup of coffee now?”

“I can’t, I have to start work. I have a call in about twenty minutes.”

“Oh.”

“Tomorrow, I’m free. Can you get here earlier?” He checked his phone for the time. It was almost nine. “Like, eight?”

“Sure. I’ll see you then.”

“Great.”

Work flew by, and a bubble of excitement grew in Bryan’s chest as the day turned to night. It was the first night he’d felt even close to chipper as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * * *

Bryan woke way too early—close to four—and his mind raced as he thought about Michael and what he’d be doing today. He got up and dressed, then headed out for a walk. Depression had done a number on him after Stephanie had left. Maybe spending some time with Nichole would help.

On his way back to his apartment, when he was still about a block away, he ran into her. “Hey, Nichole. I’m glad you showed up.”

“I’m a little early.” She had on a pair of jeans and a white shirt. She looked totally hot.

“It’s okay. Want to grab something at the diner across the street?” His nerves were getting the better of him. If he wanted to make her feel ill at ease, all he had to do was keep acting the way he was right now.
God, I’m such a dork.

He held open the door for her and led her into the retro Fifties eatery. He hadn’t been here in a few months, but the place never changed. He grabbed a seat and tapped his fingers on the table, his gaze catching Nichole’s, then flitting away. Cool topics filtered through his thoughts, but he didn’t have the concentration to speak about any of them. Her beautiful eyes were making him hot and bothered.

“I’m sorry, I’m just nervous. I haven’t been out in a while, and the truth is, I’m just not that good at impressing women on first dates…or second dates.”

“What about third dates?”

“I don’t know. I usually scare women off by then.” He laughed with her and the ice was broken. Throughout breakfast, they talked about nothing important, but he felt better than he had in ages.

“I’d like to see you again. Well, that is, if you want to. We could…I don’t know, maybe do something.” Bryan stumbled through the words, his face heating with each syllable.

“Wow, you do suck at talking to girls.”

Bryan was making a fool of himself and he wished he could stop, but he didn’t know how, and, after what his ex had put him through, any confidence he’d had around women had died. Then there was part of him that wished she were Luke. If he were truthful with himself, he would admit that he wanted to date guys instead. Hell, he’d probably suck at that too. “Yeah, it really is a me thing. So can you do breakfast again on Thursday?”

“Sure, I would love to.”

Bryan didn’t even try to kiss her as they left the diner. They were just friends right now. Maybe they could be more, but he didn’t want to chance it until he felt that they could withstand the pressure.

* * * *

On Thursday they met again, and talked about nothing in particular. Bryan felt like a dork throughout most of the meal, and he wondered what he was doing. Maybe dating men would be easier. The reluctance to push forward could stem from his past failures, but something told him it was more than that. When they parted company Nichole lifted up and kissed his cheek, and he felt almost nothing. She took his number and said she would call on Sunday.

* * * *

It had been a week and a half since Luke had set foot outside the apartment. His groceries were delivered, and this close to a photo shoot he couldn’t afford to eat out too often. The hidden calories and sodium would kill him. Sure, the pictures would be airbrushed to death, but he hated it when photographers complained about how fat the models were.
Fat, my ass. The women are skin and bones. Ugh.

Burning the midnight oil with books and movies had kept him entertained for the last ten days. He was getting a bit bored, but he didn’t want to do the party circuit. Staring out at the park, Luke lay on his stomach next to the window. He peered down at the street, watching people scurry to their jobs.

He imagined what it would be like to be normal. What would his life entail? A nine-to-five job, or would he work in retail? Maybe he’d be a waiter, or work in a coffee shop, making drinks. He stood and looked down, wondering if he should go out and see what the real people of the world were doing.

As he watched the pedestrians down below, Luke started making up things that they might be saying and places they could be going. He grabbed a pair of binoculars to see them in more detail. One woman was talking on the phone as she marched down the street. He started a story in his head about a conversation she was having with her lover. Then another guy came into his field of view, walking with short strides. Luke created another story. After three more people he was getting tired of the game, but then a guy came into his field of vision, making Luke’s heart hammer and his ears ring. It couldn’t be, could it?

Luke adjusted the binoculars and watched as Bryan walked to a spot across the street from his building and looked up, shielding his eyes against the glare. Luke tossed the binoculars on the couch and pulled on his socks and shoes. He checked to make sure he was wearing decent clothes and raced to the elevator, and slammed into the wall, pressing the button to call the car. When the doors slid open, he got in and pushed the button for the ground floor.

Panic set in as the elevator made its way to ground level. Had he brushed his teeth in the last few hours? He cupped his hands in front of his face and blew, then sniffed. Not too bad. The doors slid open and he rushed out, ran through the lobby and out through the doors, without even waiting for the doorman to get them for him. He raced the half block up Sixty-Eighth Street towards Central Park.

Fifth Avenue was full of people and it had taken minutes for him to get downstairs. Bryan could be anywhere. Luke raced across the street, jumping out of the way of two cabs. He ran up a block with no luck, then raced the other way.
Fuck!
Bryan wasn’t anywhere out front. Luke’s shoulders sagged as he made his way back over to his building.