Secrets of a Side Bitch (6 page)

            
 
Tammy

“What do you mean there is nothing else you can do?!”

              Donte slightly grabbed my arm as I was seemingly about to jump over the officer’s desk.

             
“Ma’am, there is nothing else that we can do. You have a restraining order in effect…”

             
“A restraining order is a piece of paper! A piece of paper isn’t going to help me when he is trying to kill me!”

             
I had attempted to go back to work that day. I spent all day in my classroom nervous as hell. As I taught Chemistry to the sophomores and juniors, visions of Jimmy finding me there kept dancing in my head. I could imagine him even causing yet another school shooting with his crazy ass. Somehow, some way, he had gotten my cell phone number
again
. He was constantly calling me, constantly leaving messages on my phone saying how he was going to kill me when he found me.

             
Then, just when I felt as if I had successfully completed my first day back at work, I found a threatening note on my car from him; telling me how good I looked in the suit that I wore to work. It also said that he would have loved to rip the pencil skirt off of my hips and rape me violently.

             
“He is crazy!” I was practically pleading with the officer. “So, what am I suppose to do? Call the police when he is a hundred feet away from me?! By the time you all get there,
I will already be dead
!”

             
By now, I was yelling in desperation and had gotten the attention of everyone in the precinct.             

“Ma’am, you need to calm down,” Officer Brown enforced. He even stood to make himself
clearer.

             
“Tammy, let’s go,” Donte insisted as he stood.

             
I was so frustrated that I didn’t even force the issue. It was obvious that the police could do nothing for me until, God forbid, Jimmy had already successfully done something to me.

             
I walked out without saying another word. My tears were speaking for me. I could feel Donte right behind me, as he had always been during the last month of this tragic ordeal, guiding me out the precinct with his hand on my lower back and speaking positive and comforting words to me.

             
“It’s going to be okay. He hasn’t been able to find you at my house. You just can’t go back to work.”

             
As we stepped outside of the precinct, the blazing sun shot down on us. It was ninety-one degrees on a Friday evening. I should have been heading to the beach in a two piece instead of standing outside of a police precinct in a black suit.

             
I was so frustrated as I took off my suit jacket; revealing the cami that I wore underneath.

             
“You gotta calm down, Tammy. Don’t let this nigga make you sick. Stress will kill you.”

             
I tsked. “Hell, if Jimmy doesn’t kill me first!”

             
Donte didn’t find that funny. Good thing because I was dead serious. The world was on my shoulders as Donte led the way to his Range Rover. The mill in Gary was paying him well, so he upgraded last week from the 300 to a 2013 Range Rover. Watching him walk towards that Range Rover looking as good as he wanted to look in a wife beater and slightly sagging True Religions with Christian Louboutin sneakers made me want to smack the shit out of myself for ever leaving him.

             
Just watching the sweat drip from his bald head as he started the truck made me damn near forget my sorrows. It had been so hard being so close to Donte. I was still fighting the feelings that I had for him. I was still wondering if those feelings were genuine or if they were just in rebound of the bullshit I have been going through with Jimmy.

             
Donte snuck a peek at me as he approached a stop sign. Noticing my stern look, he laid a hand on my thigh and said, “Let’s go get a drink. You need one.”

             
I didn’t argue with him and as he continued to drive, his hand never left my exposed thigh, making my confusion grow from a small hill to Mount Everest. Donte and I had gotten even closer since I moved in with him. We spent so much time together. However, I was terribly confused about whether he was there out of interest or protection. I didn’t know whether he watched movies with me or took me to dinners as a friend or to spark what had once been.

             
My mountain of confusion grew even bigger a few hours later. After countless shots of Jack Daniels, he and I were dancing to “Tonight” by John Legend in a hole in the wall on the Southside of Chicago. We were both so sloppy drunk that we giggled uncontrollably and touched intimately. Though the pace of the song was a quick smooth tempo, we were close and moved slow in one another’s arms. The air conditioner in the lounge barely blew a cool breeze, so we exchanged sweat as our arms intertwined with one another’s.

             
With his head lightly pressed against my forehead, Donte began to speak to me. No matter how drunk and platonic his words were, they went straight to my heart. “I’m not gone let him hurt you.”

             
They were simple intoxicated words that spoke a sober truth. I knew that Donte wouldn’t let me hurt, that’s why I felt so sorry for myself that I let him get away.

             
In response, I leaned over an inch to allow our lips to touch. For milliseconds, I wondered if he would push me away. But immediately, after the wonder came, his tongue pushed it away– spreading my lips apart and inviting my tongue to dance.

Simone

“
What’s up, Miss Simone? Need some help with that?”

             
I was so happy to see Chance. I was rushing out of the office, while carrying mounds of paperwork that I planned to complete over the weekend. It was past six o’clock. I really needed to get home quick so that I could get ready. I had a date with Omari. I couldn’t wait to see him.

             
“Sure, Chance. Thank you,” I told him as I handed him the stacks of papers in accordion files. “How have you been doing? You haven’t stopped by to see me in a few days.”
              With a sigh, Chance replied, “Been busy getting ready to leave this joint. They been sending me on interviews and what not.”

             
“What kind of interviews?”

             
As Chance managed to hold onto the files and hold the door open for me, he sighed in frustration. “Jobs that ain’t gone pay me much.”

             
“Well, are they helping you get into school? You should be able to get a lot of help through the government. We have a lot of programs to help you out with that.”

             
I caught Chance slightly rolling his eyes as we approached my car. I wasn’t surprised. Rarely do eighteen year old Black boys growing up in the hood want to hear about college and what not. They want money, and they want it fast.

             
“It’s going to be okay,” I promised Chance as we loaded the files in the back seat of my car. “Don’t get so anxious about leaving here. You don’t have to make a decision regarding taking care of yourself so quickly. You have until you’re twenty-one to be in transitional housing…”

             
“And then what?”

             
Chance honestly looked like he wanted me to answer that. He looked like he wanted
me
to fix it. But the only thing I could do was reach out and wrap my arms around him. When he hugged me back, he held on to me so tight that it scared me. He held me like he needed the love and support in that hug more than he needed air to breathe.

             
Though it was late, I didn’t know if any other personnel were around, so I let Chance go. He reluctantly did the same. As his arms left my body, his hands grazed my waistline and hips.

             
I wondered was it an accident. I even waited for him to apologize but he simply gave me an obvious stare that gave me uncomfortable chills.

             
“All right, Chance. I will see you later.”

             
I knew that he had a crush on me. I guess since he was approaching his release from Lexington, he was feeling froggish. Chance said his goodbyes as I quickly hopped in the driver’s seat, started the car, and rolled down the window.

             
As I watched Chance walk away, I was in a daze. I wondered did he really just feel me up or was it just in my mind. I was so consumed in shock that I didn’t hear footsteps quickly approaching my car from the driver’s side until it was too late and hands were inside of the window tightly wrapped around my neck.

             
The grip around my neck was so tight that I couldn’t even scream out for help. I pulled at the hands and struggled to get free.

             
Then, whoever it was brought his face into the window. We were eye to eye. That’s when I recognized Tre.

             
“Bitch, it’s this easy to fuck you up,” he threatened, continuing to shake my head by the neck like a rag doll. “Don’t you ever threaten to tell my wife shit! Let me find out your ratchet ass done said a fucking word to my wife and I will fucking kill you. Do not call me anymore. Do you fucking understand?!”

             
Tears were coming to my eyes as Tre finally released me with such a force that my head snapped to the side. I gasped for air as I began to cry while I watched him walk away coolly, like what he’d just done didn’t faze him one bit.

I couldn’t believe that a man that I had spent
so much time with could treat me so dismissively. It was like I was a fucking joke to him. After two years, I was nothing compared to a bitch that couldn’t even keep him happy enough to keep him from having whole relationships with other women.

             
Tre didn’t have shit to worry about though. I was on to the next anyway.

S
even

Wednesday, July 31
, 2013

Omari

It felt so good pulling up in front of the crib in a new car. I had just left the Dodge dealership in a brand new red Dodge Challenger. I had never been able to finance a car, but after months of working beside Ching, I was in a new whip. I would have loved some slick shit like a Benz or something, but I would never be on that level in the drug game. I was good with just being able to finance something new and being able to afford the payment.

             
That shit felt good.

             
I hadn’t even told Aeysha that I was going to get the ride. I had one of the block boys take me up to the dealership because I wanted to surprise her. Since I was getting a new car, she was finally able to have a car, since I was giving her my Impala. It was an older car with some minor issues, but it was clean, running, and better than the bus.

             
I had plans on getting her a new car next while still saving for us a house.

             
Like I said, Ayesha didn’t even know that I was buying something new, so as I sat in front of the house, she and Eboni stared at the car curiously, since they couldn’t see through the tent.

             
When I hopped out, they both damn near shitted bricks.

             
I was beaming from ear to ear as they met at the curb. Finally, I was feeling like the man of my household, like I was holding shit down and was somebody for the woman in my life to be proud of.

             
Things were still a little on edge in the crib. No matter how much I was making things better for us as a couple, Aeysha was still feeling like shit as a person. Me lacking in the commitment department definitely wasn’t making it no better. She didn’t have proof about me and Simone, but her woman’s intuition was on high alert.

             
Hopefully, this would make her feel better, though.

             
“Wow, babe! This shit is hot!”

             
Though Aeysha was saying words that were giving me props, she still looked uneasy and not too happy for me. I knew that she didn’t like me working for Ching. She didn’t want me ending up locked up. And I know that, as a woman, she knew that mo’ money brought in mo’ bitches.

             
“You can have the Impala,” I told her handing her the keys. “I’ll get you a new whip as soon as I can.”

             
On that note, Eboni excused herself and went into the house. When I thought Aeysha would be ecstatic, she was barely grateful.

             
“Thank you,” she hardly said.

             
“What’s wrong?”

             
She sighed and answered, “Nothing.”

             
I didn’t know what the fuck else to do. Here I was giving her a car, when she hadn’t had one in years, and she was still moping.

             
“Here. I can’t get you a whip right now, but you can at least go shopping.” I stuck my hand in my pocket and handed her a couple hundred bucks. Still, there wasn’t a smile on her face! I knew that her issue wasn’t totally with me. If she had something going on for herself I knew she would feel better, but that was out of my control.

             
But at least I was doing what was in my control. Being able to pay my own bills and kick my girl down put me on ten. Yet, here she was with a car and shopping money with her lip poked out. She was blowing me. Luckily, Ching pulled up right behind me as expected. He hollered at me about an hour before telling me that he was meeting me at my crib so that I could take a ride with him to take care of some business.

             
When Aeysha peeped Ching pulling up, she got even more frustrated. “So you’re about to bounce?”

             
“I’ll be right back.”

             
“You’ll always be right back, Omari!”

             
Then she had the nerve to throw the bills that I gave her in my face and stomp off towards the house. I didn’t even argue with her. I picked up the money, noticing that she damn sure didn’t throw them car keys. She slammed the front door hard as hell. I didn’t even take it personally. I knew she was going through some internal shit. I wasn’t about to stop making shit better for myself and her because it was making her feel insecure.

             
“Trouble in paradise, Pretty Boy?”

             
I snickered as I climbed into Ching’s box chevy. “Something like that. Where we on our way to?”

             
“Gotta make a quick move,” was all he said. Then he pulled off, bumping Jay Z’s
Holy Grail
album.

             
Though I got robbed two weeks ago, Ching was pulling me further into his camp. Shit, I thought he was going to stop fucking with me on the hustle side after that robbery. I had already fucked up when he tried to put me on the block years ago, so I thought the robbery was the icing on the cake. But he took it in stride. He told me that he would handle it and kept giving me more work. Not only that, he was also pushing me more into the front lines of his business. I was more present on the block; picking up money and checking on the block boys. I was even talking directly to the connect when it came to making shipments. It was making it easier for Ching to lay in the cut and was putting more money in my pocket.

             
Ching was pretty quiet as we rode. I knew he was high as hell ‘cuz his eyes were damn near low to the ground and bloodshot red. The music was so loud that I couldn’t say shit anyway. I was really too busy thinking about Aeysha’s ungrateful ass to say more than two words anyway. Eventually, I dozed off. Next thing I knew, Ching was waking me up with a hard nudge on the shoulder.

             
“Wake up, nigga.”

             
When I sat up, I realized that we were at a lake, hidden amongst brush and trees. What area of the city we were in, I didn’t know. We’d driven pretty far though because, after looking at the clock, I realized that I had been sleep for about forty-five minutes.

             
Ching hopped out the car without a word. When he went to the trunk, I figured he was meeting somebody here to make a drop. So, I met him at the trunk thinking nothing of it. But when he popped it open, my heart dropped to my stomach.

             
“Yo, man! What the fuck?!”

             
I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was some nigga, bound by his wrist and ankles, with duct tape over his mouth inside the fucking trunk! He was crying and everything.

             
“Is that the nigga?”

             
It freaked me out how calm Ching was. I probably looked like a bitch to him because I was just as freaked out as the nigga in the trunk!

             
“Is that the nigga or what, man?! Is that the nigga that stole my shit?!”

             
I couldn’t answer Ching because I was stuck. Me and the nigga in the trunk just stared at each other. It freaked me out how, even though his mouth was taped shut, I could tell that his eyes were telling me to lie and save his life.

             
Real talk, I honestly couldn’t tell if this was the same dude that robbed. “Ching, man, I told you they had on hoodies and bandanas.”

             
“But he had dreads, right?!”

             
“Yea.”

             
Walking towards the trunk, he barked while pointing at the nigga’s feet. “Exactly! And them Lebron’s, ain’t they?!”

             
I looked at the nigga’s feet and sho’ nuff his stupid ass was wearing them Lebron’s. I couldn’t even say shit. I just shook my head in disbelief.

             
Before I knew it, Ching had grabbed this little nigga, picked him up like it wasn’t shit, and threw him on the ground a couple of feet away from the car. His head hit the concrete so hard that I even cringed as I could have sworn I heard his fucking skull crack. He flinched and rolled around in pain. By the look in his eyes, I could see that he was dazed from the blow.

My instincts led me to look to see if anybody was around, but they weren’t. It was a pretty secluded area that was well hidden by trees. But just like Ching knew about this spot, somebody else probably did too.

              Before I could search the perimeter completely, two shots brought my attention back to Ching.

Pow! Pow!

Shocked as shit, I spun around to see Ching putting his glock back in his waist. Now, the lil’ dude was laying on the ground lifeless as blood and brain matter poured from two holes in his head.

             
“Help me carry this nigga to the lake, man.”

             
I was glad that Ching had his back to me, that way he couldn’t see me cringing and looking at him like he was crazy as fuck. I assumed shit like this had to go down every now and then in the drug game, but gawd damn not like this! I figured Ching had little nigga’s to do shit like this for him. But I guess he had taken it pretty personal that these young niggas had the audacity to steal from him.

             
“C’mon, nigga!” Ching was barking as he struggled to pick up the body on his own. “Hurry the fuck up before somebody come.”

             
I didn’t want to touch that fucking body. I didn’t want no parts of the shit. But shit, I was there, so I was already an accessory at that point. Plus, Ching had a look in his eyes that I had never seen before, so I just did what the fuck he told me to do.

             
As we carried the body a few feet to a shallow part of the lake, I had to force myself not to throw up. I had never seen a dead body or gunshot wound close up. The holes in this nigga’s head was leaking all kinds of shit.

             
We put the body in the water and watched it as it floated out. I couldn’t believe my eyes as he went head first into the lake, with his eyes still open. Once he began to sink, Ching was good and decided it was time to jet out. We both rode in silence. Wasn’t shit to be heard but Jay Z talking about being caught up in lights and cameras. As we approached the ramp for the highway, I realized that we were right off of Cline Avenue in Hammond, Indiana.