Shattered (30 page)

“Where is Jeremy?”

“Passed out in his room.  You blacked out for a bit and when we brought you around again you wouldn’t stop laughing.  Was that a ruse?  You scared me.”

Nathan frowned and tried to think back,
“I don’t remember.”

Robin was quiet for a moment, and when she did speak it was much softer. 
“I convinced him to stop, until tomorrow, and that seemed to suit him well enough.  He left here and started drinking.  He was shaken, I don’t think he was prepared for how much you could take.”

“I don’t understand why you married him Robin
.”

“
I’m only a piece in this, Nathan.  Denrick promised Verill’s support to Jeremy upon our marriage. In exchange he gets Clara.  It puts him in line for your throne and puts me in a position to help him secure it, in the future.”

“But w
hy?
  Jeremy has the kingdom now, why did he need to take Verill from Trent at all?”

She paused again
and even in that low light, as shadows hid her face, he could feel her hesitation.  “Your disappearance took a toll on Trent that none of us expected.  He had never been so unguarded before, but around you he became vulnerable.  Jeremy must have seen an opportunity to lured him out, in your name.  It’s the only reason I can think that he would go anywhere without guard.”

“
To the wall, where we use to watch the city as children..,” Nathan mumbled, mostly to himself.  Yet he didn’t feel sorrow or guilt.  Only empty.  Maybe the feelings would come, one day, but he was too exhausted for them now.

“
This isn’t your fault,” Robin said, abruptly.  “If anything its mine.  You had no part in this except that I wanted you.  It wasn’t a lie when I said I had been aware of you for a while.  I thought that, maybe, once I made you suffer, I might have peace.  I’m so sorry Nathan.  I’m…”

He
didn’t want her apology, he knew the pain that guilt could cause and he didn’t want that for her.  That felt worst than all the aches of his body, it tore at his heart.

“
I’ve forgiven you for all of it already Robin,” he said, and then dropped his voice low, like she might forgive him for his words if only he whispered them.  “I love you, you know.”

“You don’t love me
prince.” He saw the silhouette of her curls blur as she shook her head back and forth, slowly, against the light beyond the room.

Nathan heard the command in her voice, that slip to his submissive name, but it didn’t do anything to him.  It didn’t snap his mind towards surrender.  Her will had no power over him in this.
  If anything it made him stronger.

He reached out and found her hands and took them both in his. 
“I’m at your command Mistress.  I will take any pain, any humiliation; I will trust you with everything.  But you don’t get to tell me I don’t love you.  It’s only because I love you that I have the strength for any of this.  Even if it’s one-sided only, I need this.”

Her hand rela
xed in his and for a long moment they were both quiet.  Nathan tried to untangle the events that led to this.  He tried to think to the future, but he was lost.

“What
do I do now?” He whispered. “I have no proof.”

That seemed an easier topic and Robin’s shoulders lifted again. 
“Yes you do, I just etched it all over your body.  Today was my idea, not your brother’s, but no one need know that.  Have your men seize Jeremy and I both.  You will have me tell them what I did to you, now and before, and I can connect Jeremy to all of it.”

“His men outnumber mine five to one.  It would plunge us into a civil war I cannot win.”

“The King’s watch is still in transition.  The officers don’t know who to trust. They already doubt, you need only give them a little push.  Show them what Jeremy has done to you and they will believe him capable of murder as well. They will side with you.  But you have to act quickly, tonight, or you will lose the opportunity all together.”

“And Denric
k?  He could still back my brother…”

“Denrick doesn’t have Clara.  If he did this might be different, but right now his only claim to your throne is throu
gh me, and condemning me will shame him.  If you show him mercy he will walk away.  In his heart he is a coward.”

Everything she said made sense, but there was one loose thread she was leaving out.

“What you did to me deserves death Robin…”

“I know.
  And you must punish me for it.  If you let me get away with this…  Power is an illusion you must maintain.”

Nathan cradled her face in his palm and felt a te
ar roll over his thumb.  “Why are you crying?”

“Because it’s finally over. 
No matter what happens now…,” Robin said.  She leaned a little into his hand.  “It’s over.”

He wanted to stay here and hold her, but too soon she shrugged his hand from her face and ducked beneath his arm.  “You need to go.  Can you stand?”

Her hand around his wrist held his arm to her shoulder and, as she stood, her strength helped him to rise as well.

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

Her voice turned hard.  “If I am not dragged out of bed tonight by your guards I’m going to be extremely disappointed in you prince,” she whispered and she pulled him towards that sliver of light in the hall beyond. “Do you understand?”

Nathan
found his balance and unwrapped from her.  His hand lingered on her shoulder and it guided him forward until his lips found hers one last time.  The kiss was brief, a peck only, a goodbye.

“Yes Mistress,” he said, and he felt her smile, even as more tears fell down her cheeks.

**

Robin was gone from the halls by the time Nathan composed himself enough to step from the cell.  Her departure had taken so much of his strength and, when he heard the last echo of her footsteps fade away, he fell against the doorframe.  Suddenly he couldn’t do this.  His breath made him dizzy.  He wanted to cry, but the thought of tears made the remnants of hers burn in his palm.  He clenched his hand tight, into a fist, and pushed himself out into the hall.

The crumbled body of one of Jeremy’s men nearly tripped him as he rounded the corner.  Nathan knew the face
, it was one of the men who had stood guard over his residence these last few weeks, and he nearly mumbled out an apology before he realized the man was dead.  He crouched down, through gritted teeth, and touched the metal handle protruding from his warden’s chest.  Jeremy’s knife, but in his gut he knew this hadn’t been his brother.  Robin.

Nathan withdrew his hand and forced himself back to his feet.
  He had to end this.

T
he swath of gashes across his back and his own weary muscles hindered his pace.  He held on to the wall for strength as what was left of his own dwindled.  It was so cool here, so quiet, that he wanted to sit…just for a moment.  He wondered if anyone would find him here, if days might pass in cold silence before thirst or his injuries took him.

Jeremy would
find him.  Tomorrow, when he brought Robin down here to torture him, they would find him slumped over here.  And he saw it in her face, she couldn’t do it again, she would refuse, and it was the knowledge that he was risking her life atop his that made him continue on.  One step, then another, and he counted his slow progress in the stones that passed beneath his hand against the wall.

Adara stood like a beacon between two guards stationed at the threshold of the dungeon.  She was arguing with them
, arms up and entirely too animated, when her eyes came up to his and she froze.  A flood of relief passed across her face before it all turned to concern.

She tore past the two men before they could stop her and when they turned to seize her and
saw Nathan there they both stopped as well. They looked as surprised as Adara had relieved and Nathan knew then his brother had acted in secret.  Jeremy’s authority as King did not grant him the right to torture someone as ranked as a noble, and certainly not a prince.  No wonder there hadn’t been more guard.  Jeremy couldn’t risk anyone knowing.

Nathan tried to stand up straight as Adara rushed
towards him.  He didn’t want her to see how much he hurt, not because pain was intimate to him any longer, but because he wanted to protect her from.  That was why he could endure, because others needed him to. 

“Robin did
this to you…,” Adara whispered.

“No. 
Jeremy did.  What are you doing down here Adara?”

“
She told me to come here and wait for you.  Oh god Nathan, you’re bleeding.”

Nathan looked behind him to the spotted trail of blood that
followed him from the dungeon, and then back, to Adara’s ghost-white face.  Fear didn’t suit her features.

“
I need to get to my barracks, to summon my guard,” he said, strength in his voice, hoping that he might banish that fear through his composure.  “This ends tonight.”

T
he two men stepped forward from their posts and stopped just shy of them.  Their faces were as pale as Adara’s and Nathan had to wonder at his condition, what could make soldiers so shaken that they would be silent now.  And he had to hope Robin was right, that the King’s watch would fall to him and not his brother.  In an hour he would know.

“
Wake up your commanders and tell them I’ve summoned them to the throne room,” Nathan said.  His voice echoed with strength his body didn’t seem to possess and it snapped them into action.  He watched them go and slumped a little more against Adara’s shoulder once they were out of sight.

“
You need a doctor,” Adara said.  She helped him forward and away from the wall, careful not to touch at his back, for the few times she grazed his side he groaned and his balance swayed.

“There will be time for that once I see Jeremy condemned for everything he’s done.  For my torture and Trent’s death.
  For the pain, the fear, he inflicted on you and Robin both.”

“No Nathan,” Adara said, and she stopped.  “Not revenge.  Not in my name.  Not even in hers.”

Nathan steadied himself and withdrew his arm from her shoulder so that he might face her.  He felt a current of air cool the sweat on his brow as he turned, and across his back too, where the skin had been torn off.  It made him shiver.  He brought his hand up to her cheek like he might be able to soothe that stubborn stare with his touch alone.

“No, not revenge,” he whispered.  Robin’s words echoed around in his head.  Revenge was a beast
, she had said, but it was Adara here now that was trying to protect him from it.  “Will you stay with me, after this is done?”

“I’ll stay as long as you need m
e Nathan.”

He leaned the rest of the way down and
pressed his mouth to hers.  Her lips were cool, soft, they gave a little beneath his and he enjoyed them for a moment longer before he pulled away.  “I don’t understand how this is enough for you.  I do care for you, but you must know it will never be with all of my heart, and you deserve more than that.  My offer still stands, I’ll free you and…”

Adara put a finger to his lips and shook her head.

“You’re the only one who has ever given me a choice, to let me be more than I am.  And that’s why you don’t understand, but I’m choosing this with the freedom you’ve already given me.  Now come on,” she said, and took up his arm beneath her shoulder again.  “You need to get out of here.”

Nathan let her
prop him up, as she’d done so many times before.

The servants and slaves
they passed all stared but said nothing, preferring instead to hug to the walls and remain as invisible as possible.  Nathan didn’t blame them.  Nothing good could come from being involved in this.

It wasn’t until they stepped out into the courtyard that they ran into soldiers bearing his sigil
.  They’d been laying low these last few days, staying to the barracks where their numbers would still provide them with strength.  These were turbulent times, and with Nathan all but arrested they were in a difficult position.  None expected to see him here, now, and when his injuries became known the whole barrack was roused.

Nathan gave the command
to seize his brother, by force if necessary, and then refused again to be escorted to his quarters where a doctor might be summoned.  He did give in to some care though, once he saw Adara’s sleeve stained with his blood and the concern again in her face.

One of the soldiers, a medic of sort
s, sat him down and prodded at his back.  Nathan grimaced, but it was the first pass of water that left him lightheaded and dizzy with pain.  He gritted his teeth together until his jaw hurt and tensed every muscle in his body until he trembled.  This was somehow more unbearable than what Robin had done, but when Adara’s hand fell over his, in his lap, he found the strength to be still.  Without that he was certain they’d have to restrain him.

“You should
go back to my room and wait there Adara,” Nathan said quickly, through ragged, short breaths between his teeth.  Whatever they were using to clean his back hurt like hell.  “If something goes wrong I want you to take whatever you can carry and get as far away from here as you can.”